Is it possible to remember loved ones and celebrate anniversaries later than the date of death. Funeral words

In a narrow circle, the anniversary of the death is celebrated. How to remember, who to invite, what menu to create - organizational issues worry the family of the deceased. The memory of the deceased should be honored with acts of mercy, prayers, and visits to the cemetery.

The history of the days of remembrance

A wake (or commemoration, remembrance) is a ritual in memory of a deceased person. Usually the funeral is held by relatives; if there are none, close people and friends.

The tradition of commemoration arose in connection with Christian teaching. Every religion has its own rituals for remembering people. Adapted folk consciousness often combines several beliefs into one ritual.

Christian traditions are fundamental in Russia. Nevertheless, according to Orthodox rules (with funeral commemorations and prayers), only people who have undergone the rite of baptism are remembered. The exceptions are suicides, unbaptized, non-Orthodox, heretics - the church does not pray for them.

Dates of commemoration

In Orthodoxy, wakes after death are held 3 times. On the third day after death, on the ninth, fortieth. The essence of the ritual lies in the funeral meal. Relatives and friends gather for common table. They remember the deceased, his good deeds, stories from his life. Dishes from the funeral table are distributed to friends, acquaintances, and colleagues of the deceased so that they remember him.

On the day of the funeral, everyone gathers to honor the memory of the deceased. The Christian is first taken to the funeral ceremony in a church or cemetery chapel. The unbaptized deceased, after saying goodbye to home, are immediately taken to the cemetery. Burial takes place according to the traditions of the region in which the person lived. Then everyone returns to the house for the wake.

Only people call to honor the memory of the deceased. family lunch, with the difference that the photo of the deceased is located not far from the refectory table. Next to the photograph of the deceased they place a glass of water or vodka and a slice of bread. This is a pagan tradition, unacceptable for Christians.

Everyone is invited to the 40th day. On this day, those who were unable to attend the funeral usually come to the wake.

Then comes the anniversary of death. How to remember and who to invite is decided by the relatives of the deceased. Usually the closest friends and relatives are invited on the anniversary of death.

Christian traditions of commemoration

By Christian faith commemoration on the 3rd day after death is performed in honor of the resurrection of Christ (on the 3rd day after the execution). On the 9th day - in honor of those who ask the Lord for mercy on the deceased. On the 40th day - in honor of the Ascension of the Lord.

Church tradition says that the soul has been wandering since the day of death. Until day 40, she prepares for God's decision. During the first 3 days after death, the soul visits places of earthly life and loved ones. Then she flies around the heavenly abodes from 3 to 9 days. After which he sees the torment of sinners in hell from days 9 to 40.

God's decision occurs on the 40th day. A directive is issued about where the soul will be until the Last Judgment.

The beginning of a new one, eternal life- this is the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased, who to invite, what to order - these are important organizational issues. It is necessary to prepare in advance for the day of remembrance.

Death anniversary: ​​how to remember

The mourning date is announced only to those whom the family of the deceased wishes to see at the funeral. These should be the closest and dearest people, friends of the deceased. It is necessary to clarify who can come. Knowing the number of guests will help you create the menu correctly. In case of unexpected arrival of someone you know, make 1-2 more portioned dishes.

On the anniversary of death, you should come to the cemetery and visit the grave of the deceased. After which all relatives and loved ones are invited to It should be noted that memorial days are held at the discretion of the family of the deceased. Subsequent discussions by strangers about the correctness of the ritual are inappropriate.

The anniversary of his death is approaching. How to remember, how to set the table? It is important to note that such events are conveniently held in small cafes. This will save the owners from the exhausting preparation of various dishes and subsequent tidying up in the apartment.

Christians reserve special memorial services at the church. You should discuss in advance with the priest all the activities that need to be carried out. You can limit yourself to reading akathists at home and invite a priest to your house.

Who should you invite?

A commemoration, the anniversary of death, takes place in a close family circle. How to remember who to call is discussed by relatives in advance. It is customary to invite only those whom you want to see to the holidays.

Unwanted visitors may unexpectedly appear on the anniversary of death. The family of the deceased must make a decision - to leave the unwanted guest at the funeral dinner or not to invite him to the table at all. The anniversary of death is an event only for the closest people.

You shouldn't have a crowded gathering. A funeral date, the memory of the deceased is not a reason for a noisy party. A modest family dinner, warm memories of the deceased - this is how the anniversary of death passes. How to commemorate is decided by the closest relatives of the deceased. A leisurely, calm atmosphere, quiet music, photographs of the deceased are a worthy way to honor the memory.

How to dress correctly?

Clothes for a death anniversary are of no small importance. If you are planning a trip to the cemetery before the funeral dinner, you should consider weather conditions. To attend church, women need to prepare a headdress (scarf).

Dress formally for all funeral events. Shorts, deep necklines, bows and ruffles will look indecent. It is better to exclude bright, variegated colors. Business, office suits, closed shoes, formal dresses in muted tones are an appropriate choice for a funeral date.

How to properly commemorate the anniversary of death? With good memories in a close circle. You can give out alms - pies, sweets, things of the deceased.

Visit to the cemetery

During this time, you should definitely visit the cemetery. If weather conditions do not allow (heavy rain, snowstorm), this can be done on another day. You should arrive at the cemetery in the first half of the day.

The grave of the deceased must be monitored. Paint the fence in a timely manner, you can put small table and a bench. Plant flowers, weed out unnecessary weeds that give the grave an unkempt appearance. This is the anniversary of death... How to remember a person? Clean up his grave, light candles in special cups, lay fresh flowers.

By Christian traditions Back in the 19th century, the synod banned wreaths with inscriptions made from fake flowers. Such layings distract from prayers for the soul of the deceased.

You can bring tea, alcohol, pies, and sweets to the grave. To modestly remember the deceased, pour the remains of alcohol on the grave, sprinkle crumbs - this is a symbol of the presence of the deceased next to the living. Many families adhere to this pagan tradition at funerals.

In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring anything to the grave. Only with fresh flowers and prayers should the deceased be remembered.

How to set the table

Table setting for funerals is standard. The only difference is to put an even number of dishes on the table. Forks for mourning dates are usually excluded. Such a moment in time remains at the discretion of the family of the deceased.

Dishes, in addition to those required at the funeral table, are prepared in accordance with the preferences of the deceased. You can add mourning ribbons to the interior and light candles.

For the Orthodox - consecrate the kutya in the church. Eliminate alcohol, stick to fasting and fasting days - use them as a starting point when creating a menu. Pay more attention not to eating, but to prayers for the deceased.

Death anniversary menu

Like a regular funeral, the anniversary of the death is celebrated. How to remember what to cook? Kissel, kutia, and pancakes are considered obligatory at the funeral table. The symbol of Christianity is fish dishes- these can be pies, cold appetizers, smoked meats.

From salads you can prepare vinaigrette, beets with garlic, vegetable caviar. Submit sauerkraut, pickled cucumbers and mushrooms. baked cheese. Sliced ​​meat and cheese.

Fried or baked chicken (rabbit, goose, duck, turkey) is suitable for hot dishes. Cutlets or steaks, French-style meat or chop, stuffed vegetables or For garnish - boiled potatoes, vegetable stew, fried eggplant.

In the form of dessert - gingerbread, sweet pies, pancakes, cheesecakes, sweets, fruits and apples. Drinks - store-bought juices or home-brewed compote, jelly, lemonade.

Exclude sparkling and sweet wines from the menu, as they are not happy holiday, death anniversary. How to remember? Give preference to strong drinks (vodka, cognac, whiskey), dry red wines. During a table conversation, it is customary to remember the deceased and his good deeds on earth.

Funeral in a cafe

To eliminate the bulk purchase of products, cooking, table setting and subsequent tidying, you can order a small room in a cafe. So that the anniversary of death passes in a calm atmosphere. The cafe staff will help you remember what to order. Their menu is not much different from home.

The cafe staff should be notified in advance that guests will gather for the funeral. The administrator will try to keep overly cheerful visitors as far as possible from the relatives of the deceased (if we're talking about about the common room).

It is usually customary to book a small banquet hall for holidays. Then the festive neighbors will not interfere with the quiet mood of the death anniversary.

If a cafe doesn’t appeal to you, but you want a cozy one, home environment- You can order lunch at home. Agree on the menu in advance, set a time and delivery address.

Death anniversary: ​​how to remember in church

According to Christian beliefs, the duty of the living is to pray for the deceased. Then the most serious sins can be forgiven. Church funeral services are designed to ask for forgiveness of the sins of the deceased. Not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary days You can order a memorial service.

During the Divine Liturgy, prayers are heard for the departed. Immediately before the Liturgy (or in advance, in the evening), a note is submitted in which the names of the deceased Christians are written. During the Liturgy, all names are announced.

You can order a magpie for the deceased. This is a commemoration for 40 days before the Liturgy. Sorokoust is ordered for more long term- commemoration for six months or a year.

An ordinary candle for the repose of the soul is also a memory of the deceased. In home prayers you can remember the deceased. There is a special book for Christians - a memorial book, where the names of the deceased should be entered.

While visiting the cemetery, Christians read an akathist and perform a litia (it is also performed before the funeral dinner, for which a priest is invited).

Almsgiving

IN memorial days attention should be paid to works of mercy. Funeral dishes can be given to those in need, acquaintances, and colleagues. This is done so that as much as possible more people remembered the deceased with a kind word.

A good reason for giving alms is the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased? You can distribute money, sweets, cookies to the poor at the church and ask them to pray for the deceased, to donate money for the construction of the temple. The things of the deceased are usually given to needy friends.

Almsgiving is a good deed towards the poor. Therefore, the family of the deceased does not have to distribute food or money to the poor at the church. You can find people in your environment (pensioners, large families), to whom it will be important real help. Or take a small offering to a nursing home, boarding school, or orphanage.

Procedure for celebrating the anniversary of death

1. Notify in advance that the funeral date is approaching, and invite the relatives and friends of the deceased.
2. Choose a cafe or organize an event at home.
3. Visit the cemetery, the grave of the deceased.
4. To honor the memory of the deceased with a funeral dinner.
5. Give alms to those in need.

Since ancient times, Russia has preserved the tradition of celebrating memorable dates, and people honor not only the birthdays of living people, but also the days of departure from the other world. This is due to the fact that Christians believe in a further afterlife with God. Many citizens do not know how to properly perform a funeral service for 1 year. The rules are quite simple; they help the deceased find peace in the next world.

Pominy – oldest rite, which was carried out back in Ancient Rus'. The main purpose of this ritual is to honor the memory of the deceased and facilitate his stay in heaven.. The basis of the wake is a meal, which the relatives of the deceased spend in his apartment, cafe, or directly at the cemetery. When the anniversary of death is commemorated, and how to honor it, you can find out in the temple.

Memorials are celebrated on the following days:

• on the day of death or the next day;
• on the 3rd day after death. Most often this day is the day of the funeral;
• on day 9;
• on day 40;
• in the future, the meal is carried out on the sixth month from the date of death, and all subsequent anniversaries.

The most important is the commemoration on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after repose. In Christianity, they are of the opinion that for the first 2 days after leaving for another world, the human soul is still on earth and goes around all its native places. On the third day the soul goes to bow to God.

Educational! What is it needed on the wrist for: meaning in Christianity.

For the next 7 days, angels will show the soul life in heaven and the beauty of paradise. On the 9th day, the soul is again sent to worship God, after which it is led to the kingdom of darkness - hell - for 30 days.

For a month, the soul of the deceased is shown the eternal torment of sinners. At the end, on the 40th day, the soul is again taken to bow to God, where a decision is made in which exact place the soul will be until the Last Judgment.

In addition, you can remember a deceased relative on the following days:

• second Tuesday after Easter. On the holiday itself, it is not worth remembering the dead, since Easter is a holiday of living people;
• the next Saturday before Lent;
• 2, 3, 4 Saturdays of Great Lent.

Since a baptized deceased person is a member Orthodox Church, you can order a memorial service and magpie for him at almost any time.

Important to know! If the anniversary coincides with an important church holiday, it is recommended to postpone it to the next day.

Commemoration in church

The most important thing for remembering the deceased is not the meal, but prayer. If the deceased was a Christian, there is nothing more valuable to him than prayer on the anniversary of death. In addition, clergy advise relatives to refrain from a luxurious dinner and alcohol on the anniversary of death.

Lunch should be quite simple and modest. Funerals for 1 year and all subsequent times should categorically not turn into a cheerful feast, since such a pastime is not welcomed by Christian traditions.

In addition to personal prayer, you must order a commemoration in the church for the year:

• remembrance at the proskomedia. This rite represents the first part of the liturgy, during which the priest takes out small pieces from the prosphora for peace and health.
• most often the “sorokoust” is ordered, then the deceased will be commemorated at 40 services in a row;
• memorial service. Usually held in churches on Saturdays or Sundays, but if necessary, you can arrange with the priest to hold it on another day;
• lithium. Another common type of funeral service. It can be done at any time. It is also possible for a priest to visit the cemetery.

The most important condition is that the deceased is remembered by all his relatives. The priest does not always know the deceased personally, so he cannot express the emotions that friends and relatives experience.

The priest, in fact, is only the performer of the ritual. The rules of the event allow for ordering the reading of the Psalms. This service is more often carried out in monasteries, since it is designed for long time. Depending on the size of the donation, the service will be held for a month, six months or even a year.

Important to know! When ordering a service in a church, you can write in the note not only the name of the deceased, but also other deceased relatives.

Basic rules

The rules for holding a funeral service in 1 year are such that the event must first begin with a visit to church. Only after relatives order special service, you can go to the cemetery and perform a civil funeral service.

After this, the relatives must clean up the grave, mention how good the person was, what good deeds he did. It would also be a good idea to bring fresh flowers. It is very important to remember that you are allowed to go to the cemetery only in the first half of the day.

After completing these steps, you can start eating. It is permissible to carry it out not only in the house of the deceased, but also in a cafe. The clergy do not advise having a luxurious dinner; the dishes should be quite simple. As for alcohol, only red wine is allowed to drink; vodka cannot be placed on the table.

Funeral dinner

How to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death should be decided only by relatives. But clergy advise paying attention to the oldest traditions. Often loved ones ask the question not only how to commemorate, but also with what. Lunch dishes should be modest. It is imperative to prepare not only the first and second, but also kutya ( wheat porridge with raisins, candied fruits and honey). It is recommended to make snacks on this day (especially if you decided to put wine on the table). Among alcoholic drinks, cognac and Cahors are allowed. Sparkling wines are not suitable for this occasion.

Often parishioners ask priests what they order in the church on the anniversary of a death, if it falls on a fast. In this case, there should be mainly Lenten dishes and lots of baked goods.

If the commemoration takes place in a cafe, you need to ask the employees to turn off the music and TV. Entertainment is not permitted in the adjacent room. You should not make toasts, as it is inappropriate.

It would be better to just say kind words about a person, remember his good deeds or read poetry on the anniversary of his death. You can also share warm memories with relatives.

Reference! What is forbidden to do on the anniversary of death is to say words that denigrate the deceased.

Remember at home

If relatives do not have the opportunity to go to the cemetery, how to remember the deceased and what to do in this case. In such a situation, you need to invite everyone home and prepare a special lunch. Many people mistakenly believe that in 1 year the rules imply covering mirrors in the apartment and placing a cutlery for the deceased on the table. The clergy claim that these traditions exist, but they do not apply to the Orthodox, so it is not necessary to adhere to them.

Every person who comes to the house must pray before sitting down to the table. It is advisable that the apartment be lit at this time. church candles. After reading the prayer, you can start eating. Relatives are allowed to talk at the table. The main thing is that there is no gossip, jokes or bad language, as this is inappropriate.

According to Christian traditions, dishes that are served to the table must be blessed. In addition to the first and second meals, lunch also includes dessert. Sweets must be present on the table, as they symbolize the joy that awaits all righteous Christians in heaven.

When preparing the table, you can consider the following tips:

1. One of traditional dishes Pancakes count at funerals. Usually they are washed down with fresh jelly or full jelly (honey dissolved in water).
2. It is recommended to place several fir branches on the table, and black ribbons can be attached to the tablecloth.
3. During the change of dishes, it is necessary to read a prayer for repose. Also, prayers on the death anniversary of 1 year (and all subsequent ones) are read after the meal.
4. When leaving, the owners do not need to say words of gratitude. This is not accepted at funerals.

Independent mention

If a person does not have the opportunity to go to a funeral, you can remember the deceased at home. There is no need to host a lunch for this. As you know, celebrating the anniversary of death involves reading a prayer.

This option will be optimal. Most clergy advise reading the Psalter. How to do this correctly is usually described in detail in the appendix to the book. Between psalms it is necessary to read special prayers and mention in them the names of deceased relatives. This type of remembrance is the best.

There are some exceptions in which the church does not allow commemoration of the deceased during the Liturgy. This applies to people who were baptized but never went to church. It is believed that this indicates that the person was an unbeliever during his lifetime. The clergy call such people parishioners.

Also, the church never remembers those who have committed suicide, since this is a voluntary rejection of God’s main gift - life. This rule also applies to people who have died from an overdose. narcotic drugs, since such a death is also considered suicide.

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Let's sum it up

Today, more and more people prefer to order a service in a church and believe that this is enough. Despite the fact that clergy can also turn to the Almighty with a request for forgiveness of earthly sins, relatives should also pray for the deceased.

Appeals from priests, as mediators and executors of God’s will on earth, reach the Savior faster, but reading prayers at home is also mandatory. First of all, the soul of the deceased hears precisely the words of relatives, and not church ministers, so family and friends definitely need to pray.

Funeral words

reflection of grief and pain of loss

The death of loved ones, relatives, and friends is always a sad and tragic event in the life of every person. At such moments it can be difficult to find the right words to express all the sorrow and pain. How can you say that the deceased was dear? That he was the most wonderful person? State it clearly and clearly best qualities and not to go too far? A funeral speech at a funeral is a text that is pronounced not from a piece of paper, but from the heart.

Funeral speech - sample

First you need to say your name. Not everyone present at a funeral or wake knows you. It should be remembered that long, vague, expansive phrases are suitable for political debates, but not for funeral speeches. You should speak briefly and to the point. So, examples of speech at a wake:

“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him.

He was a true professional in his field, a Specialist with a capital S. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless stories he tells funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe in my memory it will no longer be

We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism!

Rest in peace, dear colleague!”

“My grandmother was a wonderful person with a difficult but interesting fate. Her along with three younger brothers and her sister, her mother raised her alone in difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do anything like them!

I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever."

How to choose the right words?

Based on the examples presented above, several basic rules can be identified:

• It is best to address the audience in the introduction. For example: " Dear friends and the relatives of our beloved (name) ... ".
• It is necessary to introduce yourself. What does it have to do with not only the name, but also the degree of your acquaintance, relationship: “My name is Alexey, (name) and I have been close friends (colleagues) for many (you can be more specific) years.”
• It would not be amiss to say a few words about your own experiences, about the pain that the announcement of death caused.
• The following words characterize the deceased. Here it is important to remember the old Russian proverb, which perfectly indicates what they say at funerals: “It’s either good or nothing about the dead.”
• In conclusion, condolences or standard, but still relevant memorial words are said: “May he rest in peace,” “Rest in peace,” and so on.

In general, we note that the speech at the wake differs from the one pronounced directly at the funeral. So, at the moment of farewell it is customary to speak very briefly. Here, words of condolences are mainly spoken to the relatives of the deceased.

The funeral speech on the day of the funeral should under no circumstances be a memorized text. A few words from the heart, imbued with sincere empathy, would be more appropriate. In the first days, the relatives of the deceased are unable to perceive reality. The grief they have suffered is too hard for them, so their feelings should be respected.

Memorial words for 40 days, for an anniversary can be more intense. Here they often remember the best about the deceased. But even after time, one should not remember grievances, disagreements and quarrels. If you can’t overcome this in yourself, the best thing to do is to remain silent or limit yourself to a couple of standard phrases.

Funeral poems

It was already indicated above that poetry would be extremely inappropriate at a funeral. A memorial speech for 40 days, 1 year may contain a small poetic inclusion. These could be the words of great poets or lines from an epitaph. Memorial poems for the anniversary of death largely contain kind words, which can be attributed to the personality of the deceased, with less condolences and bitterness. Examples include:

When parents leave
The light in the window fades forever.
Empty father's house and maybe
I dream much more often.
* * *
We know you can't be brought back
Your deeds are an eternal memory,
And only your pure soul is with us,
You illuminate our life's path.

* * *
Sleep, my angel, peacefully and sweetly.
Eternity will take you into its arms.
You held yourself with dignity and steadfastness
Survived these hellish torment.
* * *
On this day full of heartache,
We sympathize with your misfortune,
Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal,
Every day we are getting closer to the line...
Our condolences... Strength of spirit
We wish you at this moment,
May the earth rest in peace to those close to you,
May the Almighty protect you from troubles.
* * *
When you left, the light went dark,
And time suddenly stopped.
And they wanted to live together forever...
Well, why did this all happen?!
* * *
May your sleep be serene
No one will ever disturb you,
Nothing can break it
Oblivion of eternal peace.
* * *
Thank you, dear, for being in the world!
Thank you for loving me.
For all the years that we lived together.
I ask you not to forget me.
* * *
We remember, dear, and mourn,
The wind blows coldly on my heart.
We love you forever,
No one will replace you for us.
* * *
How we loved - only the Gods know.
Only we knew how we suffered.
After all, we went through all the hardships with you,
But we could not step over death...
* * *
In this vicious circle - no matter what -
It will not be possible to find the end and the beginning.
Our role in this world is to come and go.
Who will tell us about the goal, about the meaning of the path?

* * *
There are no, Lord, sins and atrocities
Above Thy mercy!
Slave/slave of the earth and vain desires
Forgive the sins for his/her sorrows!

What was his life like? - Heavy sleep.
What is death? - Awakening from terrible dreams.
Woke up, he smiled -
And again, maybe the dream began there.
* * *
You left and it immediately began to snow.
May you have a good time there.
Let him cover himself with a soft white blanket
The land where you are no longer there...
* * *
Without chasing meaningless fame,
Keeping love in your heart,
He left, but managed to leave us
Eternal music bright motive
* * *
This order is unshakable.
The passage of time is eternal.
Let it be quiet and sweet
Your peaceful sleep!

Funeral poems are published in the newspaper as condolences. Words at the wake should not contain ambiguous phrases. Extremely clear and understandable lines for all those present will be the most appropriate and correct.

Funeral toasts

The funeral usually ends with a memorial dinner. While at such a table, you must follow the rules of mourning etiquette. It is not allowed to talk loudly or laugh. You should not interrupt the person making a speech at the wake. Often at the table, speech takes the form of a toast. Funeral toasts at a wake are significantly different from ordinary ones. They do not contain a call for fun, but once again emphasize the bitterness and pain of loss.

They sit in the next world, in Paradise, souls at the table, talking, drinking, pouring more. One overturned his jug, but it was empty. “That’s it,” he said, “I’ve been forgotten on Earth.” So let’s drink so that the jugs of our departed loved ones do not become empty!

Blessed memory of those who have left us, Let us drink to this now. May our hearts, like granite, preserve the memory of loved ones who have passed away. Let all the good things that happened to them not be buried in a damp grave. As long as we preserve our memories, they will live with us for as long.

Toasts at a wake can be pronounced in poetic form:

The philosopher knew that everything has its time,
Fate cannot be deceived:
The poet has been lonely for centuries -
May the glorious one be completed...

There is no water in the funeral cup!
Let's not grieve:
The midnight star will rise -
We will meet again!

Let it pour from the righteous peaks,
Before the days are gone,
The melody of your soul -
Why be sad about her?

Christian wake

One of the most widespread religions is Orthodoxy. Orthodox funerals differ significantly from secular ones. So, for example, speeches at funerals are practically not spoken for 40 days, 1 year. Christians gather at the table these days and pray together for the soul of the deceased. It is also customary these days to go to church and submit memorial notes, a sample of which can be seen in the church shop.

A funeral is an action that is performed to honor the memory of a deceased person. The core of a wake is a communal meal, which is arranged by relatives in the house of the deceased, in a cemetery or in another place.

Funerals are held several times:

• on the day of death of a relative or the next day;
• on the third day after death, the soul of the deceased leaves this world and ascends to heaven (as a rule, this day coincides with the day of the funeral);
• on the ninth day;
• on the fortieth day;
• further, memorial meals are held six months from the date of death, and then all subsequent anniversaries.

As a rule, family members of the deceased and his friends take part in the funeral. For example, you can come to the wake of the ninth day without an invitation. You cannot drive away those who wanted to take part in this ritual. But it is important to remember that wakes are not organized for the sake of those invited, and the set table is not their main component. People do not come to them to take off their negative emotions, stress, and certainly not for the sake of chatting about abstract topics. The main thing at a wake is prayer for the deceased. It is very good, before starting a meal, to read the 17th Kathisma from the Psalter. And before eating, everyone should read the “Our Father” prayer.

Postponement of the funeral date

It often happens that memorial days fall either on a weekday, when it is impossible to leave work to prepare everything for them, or on some religious holiday. In this regard, the question arises as to whether it is possible to postpone the date of the obligatory commemoration, to do it either earlier or later.

The clergy believe that it is not at all necessary to hold a memorial meal on the anniversary of death. If there are objective reasons that prevent you from doing this, then you need to focus on them first.

It is not advisable to remember the dead during the week Happy Easter, as well as during the Holy Week of Lent. At this time, all thoughts should be directed towards: Holy Week- to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, on Easter week- to the joy of the news of his resurrection. So, if the date of the funeral falls within these periods, it would be most correct to move them to Radonitsa - the day of remembrance of the dead.

If the date of the funeral falls on Christmas Eve, then it would be better to move it to January 8. This is even considered good sign, since the wake is inherently dedicated to the fact of birth already in eternal life.

The clergy also advise us not to forget the fact that prayer for them is first and foremost important to our deceased relatives. Therefore, it is recommended to order a Liturgy for the repose of the Soul of the deceased and a Panikhida for the Day of Remembrance at the church the day before the funeral. It is advisable to pray for the deceased. And the funeral itself can be postponed to the next day off after the anniversary of the death. But to postpone the date of the funeral to the fortieth day for more early date in Orthodoxy it is not recommended.

All Souls' Day

IN different religions exist certain days when you can remember your dead. If for some reason it was not possible to remember your loved ones in right time, you can always do this on Memorial Day, the date of which is in different religions own:

1. In Orthodoxy, as mentioned above, this is Radonitsa - Tuesday of the second week after Easter. It should be noted that this is not the only day of remembrance in Orthodoxy. In addition to Radonitsa, there are five more similar dates.
2. In Catholicism, All Souls' Day falls on November 2. Funeral services on the third, seventh and thirtieth days after death are considered optional.
3. In Islam, it doesn’t matter what day it is, you need to remember the deceased. The main thing is to remember him with prayer and, together with his family, do good deeds on his behalf - give alms, take care of orphans. But the main thing is that it remains a secret in whose name these actions are committed.
4. In Buddhism, the festival of Ulambana is celebrated, which takes place in the seventh month from the first to the fifteenth day. Lunar calendar. Dedicated to commemorating the dead.

Almost everyone knows that they need to remember their dead, but people often forget how and why this is done. There is a connection between the departed and those who remain on earth. Therefore, people whose relative has died for a long time are in a state of sadness, anxiety, they have dreams about the dead, in which most often they ask for food or to do something for them.

As a rule, after similar dreams there is a need to remember them, a need to visit a temple, a need to do some good deeds (for example, give alms). All this has a beneficial effect on the souls of the departed. The inability to hold a memorial ceremony on the same day is not a problem, since you can always leave a note in the temple and a clergyman will conduct it for you.

Our spiritual state influences the state of the dead in the other world and in order to help them, you need to start changing yourself and your environment. You can get rid of bad habit, forgive those for whom resentment has been accumulating for a very long time, start reading the Bible.

When conducting a funeral ritual, it is always necessary to keep its purpose in mind - when performing a joint prayer, ask the Lord to grant the deceased the Kingdom of Heaven and rest his Soul.

All about religion and faith - “prayer for 1 year from the date of death” with detailed description and photographs.

Photo: “Sacred and Valuable in Russia” sreda.org

All people who have lost their loved ones are familiar with grief for them and anxiety about their posthumous fate.

The need to pray for departed loved ones

After death, a person’s soul awaits aerial ordeals and the judgment of Christ. During the air ordeals, demons will attack the soul: they will remind the person of his past sins and will try to take him with them to hell. The fervent prayer of loved ones immediately after his death can help a person during these terrible trials.

The judgment of Christ awaiting the soul after death is the so-called private court. And all people also face a common one - the so-called Last Judgment, which will take place after the second coming of Christ. Anyone who is justified and taken into heaven by Christ after a private trial is no longer subject to a general trial. However, the fate of someone who has been convicted by a private court may change up to Last Judgment through the prayers of his family and the entire Church.

Therefore, the departed need our prayers, and remembering them in the very first days is the most important duty of a Christian.

Days of commemoration after death

Immediately after the death of a person, the Sequence on the separation of the soul from the body is read over his body, and then the psalter. In the temple, loved ones must order memorial services (funeral services), which will be performed before the funeral.

On the third day, the coffin is taken to the temple for the funeral service, which will be followed by burial. After the burial, family and friends gather for a funeral meal.

Suicides are not remembered in the church, and a memorial service is not celebrated for them.

IN special cases(suicide in a state of passion, attack mental illness or through negligence) funeral services can be held for suicides, but only with the blessing of the ruling bishop and in the presence of appropriate medical reports on the condition of the deceased before death.

What do 9 and 40 days mean?

In the first two days after death, the soul remains on earth, accompanied by angels - a guardian angel and a guide angel. She can remain invisibly in her home, next to loved ones, and can visit places where a person lived before, or those that he did not have time to see during his lifetime.

On the third day, angels lead the soul to heaven to God for the first time. Along the way, air ordeals occur: demons in last time They tempt a person, remind him of old sins, trying to take him with them to hell, while the angels help him overcome these temptations.

Then for six days, until the 9th day after death, the soul remains in paradise and contemplates the heavenly abodes.

On the ninth day the soul again appears before God. After the 9th day, a person is shown hell, and on the 40th day he is judged.

Therefore, it is customary to commemorate the deceased on the 9th and 40th days.

Funeral service for 9 days after death - how is it remembered?

The commemoration of the deceased is performed at the Divine Liturgy on the 9th day after death, and after the Liturgy a memorial service is served.

After the funeral service, it is customary to visit the cemetery and read a litany there about the deceased. Then you can again have a memorial meal with your family.

Exactly the same commemoration is performed on the 40th day, only folk custom, on this day strangers are invited to the funeral meal.

To order a memorial in the church, you need the day before or on the same day in advance, before the start of the Liturgy, submit a registered note in the church about the repose of the deceased.

Is it possible to remember before 40 days?

A situation often arises when it is impossible to arrange a memorial meal exactly on the 40th day. It can be arranged on another day, later or even earlier.

However, commemoration at the Liturgy, at a memorial service and at a cemetery cannot be transferred.

The 40th day is decisive for a person’s posthumous fate, That's why church commemoration must be done exactly on this day.

How to pray for the deceased during the first 40 days after death?

In the first 40 days after death, except special commemoration on the 9th and 40th days, the fortieth day must be celebrated in the temple, that is, commemoration during 40 liturgies. It must be ordered immediately after the death of the deceased. At home the psalter is read for the deceased.

Sorokoust can be ordered in several churches at once, and the psalter can be read by agreement - so that several relatives and friends of the deceased can read it at the same time.

How to remember correctly after death?

After 40 days deceased loved ones are remembered several times a year:

• on the anniversary of death
• on Radonitsa (Tuesday of the second week after Easter)
• on parental Saturdays (the Saturday before Maslenitsa (meat day); the second, third and fourth Saturdays of Great Lent; the Saturday before the Feast of Pentecost)

To commemorate fallen soldiers Dmitrievskaya Saturday(Saturday before November 8 - the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki) and May 9.

These days you need to order a commemoration at the Liturgy, a memorial service, visit the grave of a loved one and read the litiya.

How to properly remember the deceased on the anniversary of death?

On the anniversary of death it is necessary

• write a custom note for commemoration at the Liturgy,
• order a memorial service and
• read the litiya at the cemetery.

It is also customary to host a memorial meal for family and close friends.

How to pray for the deceased at home?

In addition to days of special commemoration, they pray for the deceased every day at home. Prayers for repose are included in the morning prayer rule.

What prayers should be read at home for the deceased?

In addition to the usual prayers for the deceased, you can read special prayers:

IN home prayer You can remember suicides, despite the fact that they are not remembered at church services.

Prayer for those who died unbaptized

Non-believers, heterodox or unbaptized relatives

You cannot commemorate it at the Liturgy.

However, at home you can pray for their repose: either in your own words, or read a prayer to the holy martyr Huar.

There are also prayers of women who have had abortions for the souls lost in the womb.

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Orthodox prayers for the remembrance of the dead

Prayers for the deceased are considered an important church ritual that helps the soul of the deceased find peace. What prayer to read for the deceased up to 40 days every day, what prayer for the repose of the soul up to 1 year for parents, relatives, husbands, wives should be read in order to correctly remember the newly deceased (who recently passed away into another world) loved one, long-dead father, mother?

For up to 40 days, the souls of the departed need prayer. Prayers for the deceased, as a rule, are read by relatives at home or in church; the texts of the prayers can be short or long; on memorial days, prayers spoken in one’s own words are suitable.

For the first 3 days after death, according to the narration of the Holy Fathers, the soul is near the body. After 3 days, the soul of the newly departed deceased passes from earthly life to spiritual world, where each soul has the opportunity to bear responsibility for its earthly deeds, to answer for its sins. On day 40 God's Judgment ends, and the soul moves to heaven or hell. The first 40 days are very important for the souls of the departed; prayers are especially necessary during these days.

Razgadamus considers it educational. The most important prayers for Orthodox Christians are prayers for the departed; an Orthodox prayer is read at the Liturgy in the church during the service, in the process funeral requiem priests. At home, in addition to prayer, you can read the Psalter - this holy book psalms, which is read collectively, individually in church or at home in front of icons. Psalms for the departed can be read on the anniversary of the death of parents, husband, wife, or on any other day; they should be read correctly at home with a burning candle or lamp.

How to pray on the days of remembrance, what prayers for the departed should Orthodox Christians have? We offer the strongest Orthodox prayers memorials, which can be read in Parental memorial Saturdays, after the death of parents (father, mother) up to 40 days or a deceased wife, husband, relative every day. After Easter, according to church Orthodox calendar, every year Orthodox Christians celebrate the holiday of Radonitsa or Parents' Day (in 2017 the date is April 25); We hope that the accessible texts published in this article will be used by many believers on the approaching day of remembrance.

Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased

Prayer for deceased parents

Prayer for the deceased up to 40 days

A short prayer for the dead

Most of all, I believe in the power of clear text. I read it today a short prayer I liked her, I think the souls of mom and dad heard me.

It is imperative to touch on mourning topics so as not to forget about those who died, even if they died a long time ago, but need our help - prayer for the repose!

As far as I know, the canons of Orthodoxy for the newly deceased in the church, first of all, they order a memorial service so that the Lord will have mercy on his soul; prayer, if it is strong, helps both the deceased and the relatives mourning a loved one

I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t even know that there are special texts for the repose that can be read in a cemetery, etc. and have you never noticed that anyone prayed at the graves?

It is important not where to pray for the dead (at home, in a cemetery, in church), how to do it - consciously or as some people read the text automatically, memorizing it without delving into the meaning.

after my parents died I prayed until 40 days and after 40 days from the date of death. First, my father died, and then my mother died 3 months later. I understood from the priest’s story that it is better to read for the newly deceased in church during a memorial service, and at home of course.

The souls of the dead require prayer for up to 40 days, both as newly appointed ones and after passing through purgatory. We need to remember and not forget about those who have already passed on to another world constantly, they feel our care - we mean souls.

If I correctly understood the meaning of the text of the prayer, can it be read about the repose and pardon of the soul of a deceased person?

This is why funeral prayers are read, so that the Lord will have mercy on the soul of the newly deceased and give him the Kingdom of Heaven.

I chose for myself a short prayer for the departed REST OF THE LORD. I read it on Radonitsa, Parents' Saturdays on memorial days from the date of death or on the birthday of parents. The text of the prayer is focused and intelligible, and tears well up when you read it.

I asked at the church and they said that you can remember the deceased on any day. It is better to order a prayer service more often, especially for those who have recently died under 1 year of age.

It is best to regularly order a prayer service for the dead in church. Reading a prayer once a year is not enough.

Some people say once a year. You need to remember the dead with prayer every time you come to the cemetery, and TWO times: first immediately upon arrival, then before leaving.

I didn’t know that the prayer for repose in the cemetery is read twice?! I'll find out - thanks for the tip.

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Rules for celebrating the anniversary of death (1 year)

The anniversary of death (1 year) is a mourning date. On this day, relatives and friends of the deceased person gather to remember him. According to tradition, those gathered remember good deeds, which the deceased person managed to do during his lifetime, share their memories with each other, express condolences to close relatives.

How to prepare

On the anniversary of a person's death, it is customary to hold a wake. The funeral event is announced only to those people whom the relatives of the deceased wish to see at the funeral table. Before holding a funeral, the relatives of the deceased person must:

1. Notify loved ones in advance about the approaching date of mourning.
2. Choose an establishment (cafe or canteen) for holding a memorial service or organize a memorial table at home.
3. On the eve of the funeral, call the invitees again and find out who is going to come.

It is recommended to make portioned dishes slightly larger than the stated number of guests. This is necessary if an uninvited distant relative or colleague of the deceased comes to the wake. You should not pay much attention to the design of the room where the funeral meal will take place. It is enough to place in a prominent place a photograph of the person being commemorated, tied with a black mourning ribbon.

Funeral 1 year - important date, but don't invite too many people. It is preferable if among the invitees there are close relatives and those people whom the deceased person loved during his lifetime. But you should not refuse those who themselves have expressed a desire to attend the event (the exception is cases when a person came to the wake who clearly wants to ruin the funeral event).

Many people are interested in the question of whether it is possible to organize a wake before the actual anniversary. The Church gives permission for this. For example, if the anniversary of the death falls on a working day of the week, then it is better to hold the funeral the day before on the weekend. Not all relatives know whether it is possible to have a funeral dinner during Lent. This is permissible provided that only lean food is present on the table.

If this option does not suit you, then it is better to organize the funeral earlier - before the start of Lent.

Visit to the church and cemetery

The Christian duty of the living is to pray for the souls of deceased relatives. Only through sincere prayers can the person being remembered be forgiven in heaven. That is why, for a year from the date of death of a person, relatives must visit the church, light candles for the repose of the soul and order a special prayer - a memorial service. A liturgy is served in the church, before which relatives present a note with the name of the deceased person. You should definitely visit the church in the morning. If a person visits the temple for the first time, he needs to ask the abbot about how to properly order a prayer service and light candles.

After going to the temple, relatives are advised to visit the grave of the person being commemorated, especially if it is summer outside. If a priest is invited to the grave, he can read the akathist and perform the litia. The ritual performed is also part of the commemoration, for which a person’s sins are forgiven. Relatives should say kind words and mentally ask for forgiveness from the deceased. It is recommended to bring fresh flowers to the cemetery. The clergy categorically prohibit bringing food to the grave, alcoholic drinks and cigarettes. It is better to bring candles and lamps to the burial site. Eating and drinking at the grave - pagan rite. This contributes to the spread of all kinds of garbage in the cemetery.

According to Christian traditions, the graves of the deceased must be kept clean.

In order for as many people as possible to remember the person by saying kind words, it is recommended to give alms a year after death. This ritual allows living people to perform a good deed, the result of which is improvement afterlife deceased. Alms are usually distributed to those who need it - poor people. Relatives can treat colleagues, friends to something tasty, or take a small funeral ration to a nursing home or orphanage. After a year, it is already possible to give the personal belongings of the deceased to those in need.

Funeral dinner

The table for a funeral dinner should be set modestly. It is necessary to prepare the first course, the second course, appetizers, and kutya. It is better to consecrate the Kolivo in church or sprinkle it yourself with holy water - these are the rules. It is recommended to exclude alcoholic drinks. IN exceptional cases You can put vodka, cognac or Cahors on the table. Sparkling wines would be inappropriate. If the day of the funeral falls during Lent, then the table should predominantly contain Lenten dishes. Any pastry is suitable as a dessert.

Many people are interested in the question of whether it is possible to make a toast. During lunch, it is appropriate for those gathered to say kind words about the deceased person. Poems, warm words in prose - this is what they say at the wake. It is acceptable to share your memories. The annual memorial dinner should not be turned into a holiday where people gossip, have fun, and utter words that denigrate the memory of the deceased person.

One year from the moment a person’s funeral took place is a very important mourning date. You should prepare for the funeral dinner in advance. However, it must be remembered that main goal lunch and visiting a cemetery - commemorating a deceased person, praying for his soul. You shouldn’t organize a wake just to please the people around you. If for some reason it is not possible to arrange a funeral or visit a temple or cemetery, then you can simply mentally remember the person and pray for him.

Orthodox icons and prayers

Information site about icons, prayers, Orthodox traditions.

Death anniversary: ​​how to commemorate, what to order in church

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Every person who is born has his own mission and purpose, develops and contributes to the development of society, but the journey of life cannot last forever. No matter how hard it is to talk about it, there is a time for everything, God gives life to a person, and he takes it away.

In Orthodoxy, much attention is paid to the ritual of burial and commemoration of the dead. People thus pay tribute to relatives, friends and acquaintances who have gone to the Kingdom of Heaven. In prayers to God they ask for peace of their souls, forgiveness of sins and eternal peace and beg for God's mercy so that everyone goes to heaven. Many people ask themselves the question: what to do on the anniversary of death, how to organize everything and not forget anything.

How to commemorate the anniversary of death

At church services, clergy remember the deceased, and their families pray for them. God does not divide people into the living and the dead, we are all his children for him, and we are all alive for him: some are on Earth, while others are beginning new life in the Kingdom of Heaven.

These are the laws of human existence. The death of loved ones gives rise to a lot of feelings and thoughts; we want to do everything so that the deceased rests in peace and finds eternal peace.

To pay tribute to the deceased you need:

1. Invite everyone who knew the deceased closely.
2. Decide on the organization of the wake: at home or in a cafe.
3. In the morning, on the day of the anniversary of the death of the deceased, go to the cemetery, read a prayer, lay fresh flowers.
4. Gather for a memorial dinner.
5. Go to church and help socially vulnerable segments of the population.

Commemoration of the dead is not possible without prayer, because some souls are in terrible torment and only with the help of sincere prayer to God can we help them find peace.

Many people believe that it is better to order the Divine Liturgy, stand through the service and, together with the clergyman, turn to God with a request for the remission of all earthly sins of a deceased relative. This appeal will reach God faster than just a prayer read at home.

Prayer for the anniversary of death

“God, merciful Lord, remembering the anniversary of the death of Your servant N (Your servant N), we ask You to honor him (her) with a place in Your Kingdom, grant blessed peace and bring him into the radiance of Your glory.

Lord, look mercifully on our prayers for the soul of Thy servant N (Thy servant N), whose anniversary of death we remember; We ask You to number him (her) among the host of Your saints, grant forgiveness of sins and eternal peace. Through Christ our Lord. Amen."

What do they order in church on the anniversary of death?

• If you would like to order a memorial during Divine Liturgy about the deceased, then you need to come to the church early in the morning, before the service begins, to order a mass for the repose (indicating in the note full name deceased).
• After the service, you need to take prosphora and eat it at home on an empty stomach in memory of the deceased. On the first anniversary of death, many people order a magpie for the deceased and be sure to light a candle for the repose of the soul of God’s servant(s), and ask for forgiveness of all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and the granting of the Kingdom of Heaven to them.
• If the anniversary of death falls in the first week after Easter, then the Church sings Easter canon, and in the second week after Easter you can order mass, proskomedia and requiem and read a prayer at home.

How to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death

Many people wonder how to properly remember the deceased on the anniversary of their death. Some go to the cemetery and commemorate there, others organize memorial dinners inviting relatives and friends.

And still others distribute the deceased’s belongings to friends, donate money to the church, bring cookies, sweets to colleagues at work, neighbors, everyone who knew the deceased well, simply asking those in need to remember, remember good word and pray for the Kingdom of Heaven and the repose of the soul of God's servant(s).

IN Orthodox rites It is customary on the year of the death of the deceased to go to the cemetery, remember the deceased, clean the grave, put fresh flowers and light a candle. It is also advisable to plant a tree (birch, thuja, viburnum or pine needles) and perennial flowers near the grave.

You can invite a priest to the grave to conduct a church ritual. Usually, on the anniversary of death, relatives erect a permanent monument, fence, sprinkle with sand and lay out tiles. After this, the family gathers at the funeral table, remembering all the wonderful moments that were associated with the deceased.

Memorial dinner for the anniversary of death, menu

When faced with such events in life, it is important for every person to know what to do correctly so as not to violate the basic church canons:

1. What dishes should be on the table, their quantity.
2. What devices to use.
3. What is the order in which the dishes are served?
4. What needs to be said and in what order.
5. How to behave at the funeral table.

The relatives of the deceased try to set a rich table, preparing as many different dishes as possible, trying to please everyone present. If the anniversary of the death of the deceased coincided with the Great church holiday, for example, on Easter, you need to follow all the rules and set the table with dishes that do not contain animal products.

• It is not allowed to remember the deceased with strong drinks, since this is a memorial day and you need to honor the memory of the deceased and remember all the good things that are associated with him.
• It is strictly forbidden to shout and make trouble, sort things out and talk badly about the deceased.
• To ease mental suffering, you can look at a photo album and, together with your loved ones, remember the happy moments, emotions and feelings that were associated with the deceased. Watch the video, remember joint trips and ideas and funny situations brought to life.

Before starting the funeral meal, the elder of the clan reads a prayer and says words of gratitude to the deceased. Everyone starts with kutya, which is prepared differently in each family, depending on family traditions. According to ancient legend, if a housewife prepares a funeral kutya from grain, then this symbolizes the resurrection of the soul, and the addition of sweets is the true pleasure that the righteous receive in the Kingdom of Heaven.

All other dishes are served to the taste of the hosts. Usually this is borscht with broth, or noodle soup, pies with potatoes and cabbage, meat casserole, rolls, cold cuts and fish dishes, hard cheese, cabbage rolls (if not strict fast). If you are strict, you can replace meat dishes with mushrooms, lentils and implement many culinary ideas. For dessert you can serve charlotte with fruit or pancakes with jam.

The main thing on this day is to thank the deceased for all the good things that he left behind, be proud of all his achievements and keep in memory only the best moments and thank fate for sending you such a person to learn something new and useful from him. After all, every person we meet on our life path, sent to us from Above, we must thank God for teaching us.

In memory of the deceased, on the anniversary of death, relatives place a chair and a plate, pour a drink (non-alcoholic) into a glass and place a piece of bread on top. It is believed that the soul says goodbye to Earthly life forever and passes into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to celebrate the anniversary of death earlier?

To do this, you need to consult with a local clergyman and explain the reason for the transfer. But it is better to commemorate directly on the day of death, since the day before this person was alive and happy, and it is impossible to commemorate him.

If a major religious holiday falls exactly on the anniversary of the death, then it is allowed to be postponed until the next weekend, but you need to go to church, pray, light a candle for the repose of the soul, and donate to the development of the temple exactly on the day of death.

May the Lord protect you!