Educational and methodological material (grade 9) on the topic: Conversation on the topic: “Culture of behavior.”

Communication is ..... - a communicative process, a kind of connecting thread that unites people with each other. The culture of communication... is a certain set of rules that every self-respecting person adheres to. Compliance with these rules is an indicator of the level of education and culture of a person as a whole; without a culture of communication, it is impossible to interact with people in a civilized society, it is impossible to conduct business and establish business contacts. Pecherkina Svetlana Nikolaevna teacher primary classes Municipal educational institution of secondary school Novo-Gurievskoye

“Golden” rules of communication You need to find something good in a person, forgive him all his shortcomings, learn to empathize. Good manners, politeness, responsibility, gratitude, the ability to show your interest sincerely, with a smile, the ability to show a person that you are glad to see him, and, of course, when communicating with a person, call him by name. Be able to listen to others, be attentive to your interlocutor, and not be distracted. When communicating, stand straight face to face, without turning away; your face should express positive emotions. Pecherkina Svetlana Nikolaevna primary school teacher, Municipal Educational Institution of Secondary School, Novo-Gurievskoye

Speech culture

Speech culture is one of the main indicators of a person’s general culture. Therefore, we all need to constantly improve our communication manners and speech. Speech culture consists not only in the ability to avoid mistakes in speech, but also in the desire to constantly enrich one’s vocabulary, in the ability to listen and understand the interlocutor, respect his point of view, in the ability to select the right words in each specific communication situation.

Communication culture

Speech is one of the most important characterizing features of a person. The impression we make on others depends on our communication style. A person’s speech can attract people to him or, conversely, repel him. Speech can also have a strong impact on the mood of our interlocutor.

Thus, the culture of communication consists of the ability to listen to the interlocutor, speech etiquette, as well as compliance with the rules good manners.

Listening skills

Often, getting carried away by the topic of conversation, we completely forget about the culture of communication: we try to impose our point of view on the topic of conversation on the interlocutor; we don’t try to delve into the arguments that our counterpart brings, we simply don’t listen to him; and, finally, trying to force everyone around us to agree with our view of things, we neglect speech etiquette: we stop watching our own words.

According to the rules of communication culture, it is strictly forbidden to put pressure on the interlocutor. Besides the fact that imposing your opinion is very ugly, it is also ineffective. Your behavior will most likely cause a defensive reaction from your partner, and then your conversation will best case scenario It just won't work out.

If you not only do not listen to your counterpart, but also constantly interrupt him, not allowing him to finish, you should know that you are not only demonstrating your lack of speech culture, but also showing disrespect for the personality of your interlocutor, which does not characterize you in a positive way .

The ability to listen is an indispensable component of communication culture. If you show genuine attention to the thoughts and feelings of the person you are talking to, if you sincerely respect the opinion of your counterpart, you can be sure that you are a good conversationalist and people enjoy communicating with you. The ability to listen is the key to your success in any life situation and in any society.

But what if you adhere to the rules of communication culture and follow speech etiquette, and your interlocutor, neglecting the rules of good manners, tries to pull you “to his side”? If you do not like the manner of communication of your counterpart or you do not agree with what he is trying to convince you of, express your point of view by starting your speech with an etiquette cliché: “Don’t you think that...”.

If during a conversation you and your interlocutor have an argument, as a result of which you realize that you were wrong, according to the rules of the culture of communication, you must admit your mistake. Don't bring the situation to a conflict.

Speech culture

According to most people, speech is just a mechanism for putting your thoughts into words. But this is an erroneous judgment. Speech and speech etiquette are important tools in establishing communication with people, in establishing contacts (in particular, in the business sphere), in increasing the productivity of communication, in winning over a mass audience to one’s side (during public speaking, for example).

Among other things, the culture of speech has a huge impact on the behavior of the speaker himself. After all, everyone knows that the manner of speech and the choice of words during a dialogue not only set the interlocutor in the right mood, but also program our own behavior. We monitor our speech etiquette and weigh every word spoken and heard in response.

In the business sphere, situations often arise when, based on our speech culture, others judge not only ourselves, but also the institution of which we are the official representative. Therefore, it is extremely important to observe speech etiquette during business meetings and meetings. If you have a poor speaking culture, this will dramatically reduce your career opportunities. You will have to familiarize yourself with the rules of speech etiquette in order to first get a job in a prestigious organization, and then not spoil the company’s image and have a chance for a promotion.

Another situation in which speech culture plays a decisive role is public speaking.

Public speaking

If you want to be successful in front of a mass audience of listeners, prepare in advance a plan and the main points of your public speaking.

When speaking, try to avoid a didactic tone.

Try to put some live emotions into your oratory. The correct intonation will help you convey your own concern for the problem. Speak from the heart, but at the same time simply and competently - and then you will make a positive impression on your listeners and captivate them with the topic of your public speech.

In order to interest the audience and attract the attention of all listeners, to convince them that you are right, it is necessary to use comparative statistics data as an argument in defense of your position.

Try to exclude boring cliches from the text of your public speech. By using words that have already been said hundreds of times, you will “lull” the attention of the entire audience.

At the end of a public speech, it can be effective to return to the beginning of the speech, to re-emphasize the problem.

Speech etiquette. Rules of speech culture:

Avoid verbosity in any communication situation. If you want to convey some idea to the listener, there is no need for unnecessary words that distract attention from the main subject of the speech.

Before entering into a conversation, clearly formulate for yourself the purpose of the upcoming communication.

Always try to be brief, clear and precise.

Strive for speech diversity. For each specific communication situation, you must find suitable words that are different from those that are applicable in other situations. How more complexes different words for individual situations you have, the higher your speech culture will become. If a person does not know how to select words that meet the requirements of a particular communication situation, it means that he does not have the culture of speech.

Learn to find a common language with any interlocutor. Regardless of your counterpart’s communication style, follow the principles of speech culture, be polite and friendly.

Never respond to rudeness with rudeness. Don't stoop to the level of your ill-mannered interlocutor. Following the principle of "an eye for an eye" in similar situation, You will only demonstrate the lack of your own speech culture.

Learn to be attentive to your interlocutor, listen to his opinion and follow his train of thought. Try to always show the correct response to the words of your counterpart. Be sure to answer your interlocutor if you see that he needs your advice or attention. Remember, when you do not respond to the words of your interlocutor, you are grossly violating speech etiquette.

Make sure that during a conversation or public speaking, your emotions do not overpower your mind. Maintain self-control and composure.

Violation of the rules of speech etiquette is possible in cases where it is necessary to achieve expressive speech. However, under no circumstances should you stoop to using obscene words. Otherwise, there can be no talk about any culture.

When communicating with your interlocutor, do not adopt his communication style: stick to your positive speech habits. Of course, it is necessary to seek a common language with any interlocutor, but by imitating his style of communication, you lose your individuality.

Speech etiquette

I'm sorry!

TO Unfortunately, we often hear this form of address.Speech etiquette and communication culture- not very popular concepts in the modern world. One will consider them too decorative or old-fashioned, while another will find it difficult to answer the question of what forms of speech etiquette are found in his everyday life.

Meanwhile, etiquette verbal communication plays a vital role for a person’s successful activity in society, his personal and professional growth, and the building of strong family and friendly relationships.

The concept of speech etiquette

Speech etiquette is a system of requirements (rules, norms) that explain to us how to establish, maintain and break contact with another person in a certain situation.Speech etiquette normsare very diverse, each country has its own peculiarities of communication culture.

speech etiquette - a system of rules

It may seem strange why you need to develop special rules of communication and then stick to them or break them. And yet, speech etiquette is closely related to the practice of communication; its elements are present in every conversation. Compliance with the rules of speech etiquette will help you competently convey your thoughts to your interlocutor and quickly achieve mutual understanding with him.

Mastering the etiquette of verbal communication requires acquiring knowledge in the field of various humanitarian disciplines: linguistics, psychology, cultural history and many others. To more successfully master communication culture skills, they use such a concept asspeech etiquette formulas.

Speech etiquette formulas

The basic formulas of speech etiquette are learned in early age when parents teach their child to say hello, say thank you, and ask for forgiveness for mischief. With age, a person learns more and more subtleties in communication, masters different styles of speech and behavior. Ability to correctly assess a situation, initiate and maintain a conversation with stranger, correctly expressing one’s thoughts distinguishes a person high culture, educated and intelligent.

Speech etiquette formulas- these are certain words, phrases and set expressions, used for three stages conversation:

starting a conversation (greeting/introduction)

main part

final part of the conversation

Starting a conversation and ending it

Any conversation, as a rule, begins with a greeting; it can be verbal and non-verbal. The order of greeting also matters: the youngest greets the elder first, the man greets the woman, the young girl greets the adult man, the junior greets the elder. We list in the table the main forms of greeting the interlocutor:

At the end of the conversation, formulas for ending communication and parting are used. These formulas are expressed in the form of wishes (all the best, all the best, goodbye), hopes for further meetings (see you tomorrow, I hope to see you soon, we’ll call you), or doubts about further meetings (goodbye, farewell).

Main part of the conversation

Following the greeting, a conversation begins. Speech etiquette provides for three main types of situations in which various speech formulas of communication are used: solemn, mournful and work situations. The first phrases spoken after the greeting are called the beginning of the conversation. There are often situations when the main part of the conversation consists only of the beginning and the ending of the conversation that follows.

speech etiquette formulas - stable expressions

A solemn atmosphere and the approach of an important event require the use of speech patterns in the form of an invitation or congratulations. The situation can be either official or informal, and the situation determines what formulas of speech etiquette will be used in the conversation.

A mournful atmosphere in connection with events that bring grief suggests condolences expressed emotionally, not routinely or dryly. In addition to condolences, the interlocutor often needs consolation or sympathy. Sympathy and consolation can take the form of empathy, confidence in successful outcome, accompanied by advice.

Examples of condolences, consolation and sympathy in speech etiquette
Condolences	Sympathy, consolation
Let me express my deepest condolences	I sincerely sympathize
I offer you my sincere condolences	How do I understand you
My heartfelt condolences to you	Don't lose heart
I mourn with you	Everything will be alright
I share your grief	You don't have to worry so much
What misfortune has befallen you!	You need to control yourself

In everyday life, the work environment also requires the use of speech etiquette formulas. Brilliant or, conversely, improper performance of assigned tasks can become a reason for gratitude or censure. When carrying out orders, an employee may need advice, for which it will be necessary to make a request to a colleague. There is also a need to approve someone else’s proposal, give permission for implementation or a reasoned refusal.

Examples of requests and advice in speech etiquette
Request	Advice
Do me a favor and do...	Let me give you some advice
If you don't mind...	Let me offer you
Please don't consider it a hassle...	You better do it this way
May I ask you	I would like to offer you
I kindly ask you	I would advise you

The request must be extremely polite in form (but without ingratiation) and understandable to the addressee; the request must be handled delicately. When making a request, it is desirable to avoid the negative form and use the affirmative. Advice should be given uncategorically; giving advice will be an incentive to action if it is given in a neutral, delicate form.

It is customary to express gratitude to the interlocutor for fulfilling a request, providing a service, or providing useful advice. Also an important element in speech etiquette is compliment . It can be used at the beginning, middle and end of a conversation. Tactful and timely, it lifts the mood of the interlocutor and encourages a more open conversation. A compliment is useful and pleasant, but only if it is a sincere compliment, said with a natural emotional overtones.

Speech etiquette situations

The key role in the culture of speech etiquette is played by the concept situation . Indeed, depending on the situation, our conversation can change significantly. In this case, communication situations can be characterized by a variety of circumstances, for example:

personalities of the interlocutors

place

topic

time

motive

target

Personalities of the interlocutors.Speech etiquette is focused primarily on the addressee - the person being addressed, but the personality of the speaker is also taken into account. Taking into account the personality of the interlocutors is implemented on the principle of two forms of address - “You” and “You”. The first form indicates the informal nature of communication, the second - respect and greater formality in the conversation.

A place of communication. Communication in a certain place may require the participant to have specific rules of speech etiquette established for that place. Such places could be: a business meeting, a social dinner, a theater, youth party, restroom, etc.

In the same way, depending on the topic of conversation, time, motive or purpose of communication, we use different conversational techniques. The topic of conversation can be joyful or sad events; the time of communication can be conducive to being brief or to an extensive conversation. Motives and goals are manifested in the need to show respect, express a friendly attitude or gratitude to the interlocutor, make an offer, ask for a request or advice.

National speech etiquette

Any national speech etiquette makes certain demands on representatives of its culture, and has its own characteristics. The very appearance of the concept of speech etiquette is associated with an ancient period in the history of languages, when each word was given special meaning, and there was a strong belief in the effect of words on the surrounding reality. And the emergence of certain norms of speech etiquette is due to the desire of people to bring about certain events.

But for speech etiquette different nations Some common features are also characteristic, with the difference only in the forms of implementation of speech norms of etiquette. Each cultural and linguistic group has formulas for greeting and farewell, and respectful addresses to elders in age or position. In a closed society, a representative of a foreign culture, who is not familiar with the peculiarities of national speech etiquette, appears to be an uneducated, poorly brought up person. In a more open society, people are prepared for differences in the speech etiquette of different nations; in such a society, imitation of a foreign culture of speech communication is often practiced.

Speech etiquette of our time

In the modern world, and even more so in the urban culture of post-industrial and information society, the concept of culture of speech communication is changing radically. The speed of changes occurring in modern times threatens the very traditional foundations of speech etiquette, based on the idea of ​​inviolability social hierarchy, religious and mythological beliefs.

The study of norms of speech etiquette in the modern world turns into a practical goal focused on achieving success in a specific act of communication: if necessary, attract attention, demonstrate respect, inspire trust in the addressee, his sympathy, create a favorable climate for communication. However, the role of national speech etiquette remains important - knowledge of the peculiarities of foreign speech culture is a mandatory sign of fluency in a foreign language.

Russian speech etiquette in circulation

The main feature of Russian speech etiquette can be called its heterogeneous development throughout the existence of Russian statehood. Serious changes in the norms of Russian language etiquette occurred at the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries. The previous monarchical system was distinguished by the division of society into classes from nobles to peasants, which determined the specifics of treatment in relation to the privileged classes - master, sir, master. At the same time, there was no uniform appeal to representatives of the lower classes.

As a result of the revolution, the previous classes were abolished. All addresses of the old system were replaced by two - citizen and comrade. The citizen's appeal has acquired a negative connotation; it has become the norm when used by prisoners, criminals, and detainees in relation to representatives of law enforcement agencies. The address comrade, on the contrary, was fixed in the meaning of “friend”.

During communism, only two types of address (and in fact, only one - comrade), formed a kind of cultural and speech vacuum, which was informally filled with such addresses as man, woman, uncle, auntie, guy, girl, etc. They remained and after the collapse of the USSR, however, in modern society they are perceived as familiarity, and indicate a low level of culture of the one who uses them.

In post-communist society, the previous types of address gradually began to reappear: gentlemen, madam, mister, etc. As for the address comrade, it is legally enshrined as an official address in law enforcement agencies, the armed forces, communist organizations, and in the collectives of factories and factories.

Communication culture

Communication is a communicative process, a kind of connecting thread that unites people with each other. Culture is a very multifaceted and capacious concept, but when we say culture of communication, everyone knows what is meant by this term. The culture of communication is a certain set of rules that every self-respecting person adheres to. Compliance with these rules is an indicator of the level of education and culture of a person as a whole; without a culture of communication, it is impossible to interact with people in a civilized society, it is impossible to conduct business and establish business contacts.

The main element of communication is speech; the overall culture of communication with you depends on how cultural, structured and intellectual your speech is. With the help of words, we express our thoughts and our attitude towards the interlocutor, show respect, recognition, love, or vice versa, we make it clear that the interlocutor is unpleasant to us, we do not consider him a worthy opponent, we do not respect him and his opinion.

The framework of culture in communication is set by the interlocutors themselves, sometimes people who have just met, easily get on the same page, communicate warmly and friendly, as if they have known each other for many years. While people have known each other for a long time, they may not cross certain boundaries and remain in communication at a great distance.

Cultural communication is always pleasant to the interlocutors and does not cause discomfort. The general impression of the interlocutor is formed not only from his speech and expressions; the visual image is also important. Clothes and shoes must be clean and tidy, appearance must correspond to the level of a cultured person, it is unacceptable: unkempt hairstyle, unwashed hair, dirt under the nails - these factors repel the interlocutor and leave a negative impression of you.

If the interlocutor does not restrain himself when communicating and expresses his emotions too sharply, and here you should not lose the appearance of a cultured interlocutor, with your speech patterns you can cool down your opponent and rebuild him in a positive way. When expressing your own opinion, you should say “I believe...”, “According to my opinion...”, etc.

The culture of communication implies adherence to certain rules not only in verbal speech, but also in non-verbal speech - facial expressions, gestures, body posture.

Nonverbal communication culture implies an open body position, minimal gestures, and it is very uncivil to wave your arms in front of your interlocutor’s face. It is not customary to stand sideways to the interlocutor or turn your back. Facial expressions are quite difficult to control during a conversation, but you need to make sure that your face does not become an unpleasant grimace when expressing any emotions.

A “closed” pose is also perceived negatively by the interlocutor: arms crossed on the chest and legs crossed. Taking such a pose in relation to your interlocutor is a sign of lack of culture.

If communication takes place while sitting, it is uncivil to rock in a chair, turn away from the interlocutor, fidget in the seat, clean your nails, chew toothpicks and not look at your interlocutor. It is also not nice to stare at your interlocutor and look at him without taking your eyes off.

Cultural communication is always a dialogue, exchange of opinions, expression of one’s own thoughts and interest in the thoughts of the interlocutor. There is no need to take the initiative of the conversation to yourself, and especially not to talk for a long time and tediously about what only concerns you. Don’t be afraid if during a conversation there is a pause and there is silence, this means that the interlocutors are gathering their thoughts; there is no need to chatter incessantly in order to “fill in” all the pauses. It is extremely uncivil to interrupt your interlocutor in the middle of a sentence; if you really need to say something, you should always apologize for interrupting your interlocutor’s speech.

A culture of communication implies that communication involves two intelligent and cultured people who perfectly understand the boundaries of what is permitted and do not allow themselves to violate them. It is uncivilized to convey rumors and gossip in a conversation, and if you decide to gossip and “wash the bones” of some mutual acquaintance, then such a conversation cannot be called cultural at all.

The culture of communication is an integral part of behavior in society; any conversation, conversation, phrase directed in anyone’s direction must be cultural, beautiful and worthy.

Marina Kurochkina

Culture of communication and features of interpersonal relationships

The culture of communication is part of the culture of behavior, which is expressed mainly in speech, in the mutual exchange of remarks and conversation. The assimilation of communication norms is the result of education in the broadest sense of the word. Of course, a person needs to be taught to communicate, given knowledge of the various meanings in which the different meanings of relationships are expressed, taught to adequately react to the actions and actions of others, helped him to internalize the accepted in this social environment behavior model.
All etiquette, all rules of communication must be imbued with deep humanistic content.
Politeness is perceived as a real communication talent. A culture of communication, in addition to character traits such as respect for people, goodwill and tolerance, presupposes the development of politeness and tact. Politeness is a character trait, the main content of which is compliance with certain rules of behavior in various situations. human communication. Tactfulness presupposes not only knowledge of the observance of decency, but also a sense of proportion in relations between people.
An essential aspect of cultural communication is the ability to communicate impartially with other people, without imposing one’s tastes and habits. Of great importance in the culture of communication is the presence of such a quality as delicacy, which is quite deeper than good manners.
The culture of people’s communication is closely related to the extent to which they have developed certain specific skills and communication skills. This is a person’s ability to change their first impressions of a partner when meeting him. The first impression is formed based on the appearance of the partner. Accordingly, appearance - physical appearance, demeanor, clothing and specific turns of speech - significantly influences the nature of our first attitude towards him.
Not everyone has the gift of conversation, but no one should be indifferent to how words should be handled.
Nowadays, people often do not give due importance to the communicative side of communication.
The word spoken out loud has at all times been the main means of communication and influence on people. It is through speech that colleagues at work recognize us and judge our level. professional competence, intelligence and culture. There is no doubt that the culture of business conversation is an indicator of the cultural level of an individual and his ability to communicate. At the same time, speech deficiencies can create a misconception about professional qualities person.
From the mass press, from various medical recommendations, we receive a lot useful tips How to find peace in the difficult conditions of city life. We are advised not to worry about trivial conflicts on the street or in transport; engage in auto-training, breathe deeply before reacting to an insult, etc. Of course, these recommendations are reasonable and beneficial for the health of those who follow them. But there is hardly any need to diminish the importance of cultivating an active civic interest in one’s neighbor, which should also manifest itself in the everyday practice of communication.
For those communicating, it is important not only not to notice the mistake of the person serving you, but also not to forget to thank him for his diligence, cordiality and speed. Cultivating the ability to be grateful, the ability to find delicate and appropriate forms of expression lead to an increase in the value of communication, making it more fulfilling.

Family communication

For many, the concept of etiquette fits into the rules of behavior at the table or when meeting people for the first time. The head of the school of etiquette at the Kurchatov Cultural Center, Elena VERVITSKAYA, on the pages of the magazine “60 years is not age,” argues that this concept is immeasurably broader, and the widest range of human relationships, especially in the family, depends on the observance of etiquette.

How to line up harmonious relationships spouses with each other, with children, aging parents? What family traditions can be passed on from generation to generation? It must be assumed that most of us are notThe Simpsons, but psychological relationships are sometimes not very easy to build. The author of the article thinks about this.

Home Furies
Many women can admit that in different situations they seem to have two appearances. In public they show tact, politeness and tolerance in their relationships with others. At home, they almost turn into furies who allow themselves to lash out at both their husbands and children.

One of my friends admitted: “When I come home from work, I immediately clean up the mess: I yell at my people, and they immediately run to their rooms.”
Would you call this behavior normal? A woman, called to be the keeper of the home, should under no circumstances create such “discharges that do not add peace and love” to the family. No matter how tired a mother is at work, she must understand that she is the one who shapes the atmosphere in the house. And here patience, self-control, and finally, good manners will come to the rescue.

What is meant by good manners in the family?
Firstly, in conversations with loved ones, no matter how much they upset you, you should never get excited. You need to restrain yourself, try to speak briefly, calmly, naturally. Any categorical judgments can be softened with expressions like “I think”, “it seems to me”. Before saying anything or, even more so, doing something towards another, a tactful person will think about how his words and actions will be perceived, will they offend anyone?

It is also undesirable to get involved in any disputes. Experience shows: if the dispute continues for a long time and is carried on stubbornly, then coldness of relations and even a feeling of hostility arises between those arguing.

The Vicious Cold War
Well, what to do if the husband and wife are already involved in a conflict? Each family has its own “scenario of quarrels” between spouses. Some, at the slightest problem, become louder, criticize their “other half,” prove they are right, as they say, foaming at the mouth, slam the door, break dishes. Others choose the “cold war” tactics: they play the silent game, don’t speak for weeks and demonstrate alienation and indifference with their entire appearance.

But we must understand: any quarrel must end in a truce, even in the most extreme cases. Never say those terrible words to your spouse: “Go away!” Of course, the one who gets irritated most often is the one who nervous system more tenderly, and this is usually a woman. The culture of behavior requires from us the ability to control ourselves, the ability to restrain ourselves, when, perhaps, we really want, following the example of some movie heroine, to throw a plate, utter a sharp offensive word, respond with rudeness to rudeness.

But someone first (the most prudent) must come up and say: “I’m sorry.” And here, again, extremely much depends on the woman who shapes the atmosphere in the family. She must be imbued with the idea that a quarrel is just a release, a surge of emotions that need to be extinguished. Think about the fact that during family quarrels you lose a piece of femininity and prettiness, and this is very dangerous for each of us.

Yes, you both got excited. Now sit down at the negotiating table and calmly state your positions. At the same time, try to prevent the children from seeing how mom and dad sort things out. Never involve them in family quarrels, it will traumatize them. It is very fraught to involve the mother-in-law or mother-in-law in clarifying the marital relationship. Just as it is wrong for a wife to speak badly about her husband’s parents (as well as for a husband to talk badly about his wife’s parents).

Culture helps love
Often it is ignorance of the culture of behavior in the family that leads to contradictions that kill love and respect for each other, making it impossible life together. Compliance with etiquette standards should help build daily life in the family.

Everything here comes down to little things. Don’t forget to say hello to all family members in the morning - and don’t “mutter” something incomprehensible under your breath, but say warmly, addressing them with a smile: “ Good morning, dear” or to a child – “Good morning, my sunshine.” But it’s not worth kissing when you’ve barely woken up, without brushing your teeth or washing your face.

In many of our apartments there is only one toilet and one bathroom. To prevent everyone from jostling and rushing others in the morning, introduce a routine when someone gets up early.

Breakfast also requires its own etiquette. No matter how in a hurry you are, the table must be set - it is not necessary to lay out a tablecloth, set the table and prepare starched napkins for everyone, but everyone should have their own plate and cup. Napkins can be paper - but they should definitely be. Bread, sausage, and cheese should be sliced ​​carefully. Have breakfast without haste, do not talk, especially when you are worried, unpleasant topics, like discussing television news. Therefore, it is better to turn off the TV in the kitchen while eating.

When leaving, don’t forget to say goodbye, you can kiss your family, and it’s very good to warn them when you return.

In the evening, if you are at home and meet your husband, do not be too lazy to say a few kind words to him in the hallway and smile. Show concern if you see that he is upset, but do not immediately demand explanations and a story.

If in the evening it turns out that some household or family problems have arisen, then do not solve them on the go - before dinner or during dinner, and only after it. In general, try every moment to make everyone in the house feel calm and comfortable.

In many families, parents and grandparents fall into “educational” excitement when communicating with children. Often adults raise their tone, become irritated when criticizing children’s behavior, and use a mentoring tone to set themselves up as an example. Remember that children perceive not words, but actions, and therefore parents are called upon to serve as a constant example of behavior in the family.

Of course, we need to draw children’s attention to their mistakes, but do it quietly, tactfully. Let me give you the example of my college teacher, who created a very good atmosphere in the family. When she needs to discuss some serious problem with her son, she first takes out the most beautiful cups, brews fragrant tea, and only then conducts negotiations in a cozy atmosphere. Mother and son maintain an excellent relationship.

My dear old people
Many people live with elderly parents, and this also often creates additional stress in the family. Of course, living in the same apartment with an elderly person often requires patience and maintaining constant “diplomacy.” Even if you live with your dear and beloved mother, you have to take into account the fact that she lives by strict rules that she learned decades ago and is not going to change them.

The eccentricities, tediousness, and pretensions of many old people are as natural and inevitable as the crying and whims of a baby or the emotionality and irritability of a teenager. Alas, every age has its own problems.

Why do many older people's character deteriorate in old age? Let’s not talk about circulatory disorders of the brain, including those parts of it that are responsible for the psycho-emotional sphere - this can be observed by doctors. Psychologists note the fact that in most older people the brain receives less and less load. After retirement, the field of activity narrows, they receive fewer new experiences.

Household chores, as a rule, have long been mastered and have become a daily routine. There remains a very limited range of familiar activities, memories and thoughts, which sometimes turn out to be of little interest to busy and rushing young family members. They prefer to send their grandparents to their sofa so that they “don’t get in the way.” This is a very selfish position. We must not alienate ourselves from them, but, on the contrary, come up with things for the elderly that are not physically burdensome, involve them in the life of the family, showing them a sense of respect. This will help older people brighten up their inner loneliness. On the other hand, grumpy grandparents will not have time to watch the affairs of the young and bother them with their teachings.
Keepers of family traditions.

Here is a picture from life: grandparents are watching TV, and mom, dad and child are each sitting at their own computer. Communication with each other is reduced to a minimum, and a feeling of loneliness arises in one’s own family.

But close people must be bound by family traditions. It’s good when there are common interests, entertainment, and joint recreation in the house. To maintain family traditions, it is very important to constantly communicate with older family members, from whom the younger ones take the baton of generations, and ask them about the history of the family and society. You can be sure: if in your home they look at family albums from time to time, open treasured boxes with letters and family heirlooms for children, constantly look after the graves of relatives, talk about how their great-grandparents lived, the family has a really good atmosphere and kind traditions.

By the way, my family also has a wonderful tradition of keeping and re-reading letters. Our dad is a real family chronicler. If you come to his home, you can see a superbly selected family archive. All photographs are signed and placed in albums. All letters are kept in immaculate order and are also placed in albums.

When we all get together at the dacha, dad often brings common table some of the old letters. For example, a letter that my grandmother's father wrote when he served as a medical orderly in the First World War. It is dated 1916 and ends with the phrase: “Dear daughter, I kiss you a million times.” We listen to these letters with bated breath. After all, this is a real connection between times and generations! Unfortunately today epistolary genre largely lost. But in our family it is customary to write letters and cards for the holidays, so there is always beautiful letter paper in the house.

If my husband is preparing dinner on Saturday evening, he tells me: “Lena, you just set the table, and I’ll do the rest myself.” When dinner is ready, the husband rings the bell and everyone in the household gathers at the table. We also have bells at our dacha. When they ring, neighbors who know about our traditions say: “They drink tea at the Vervitskys”...
I am sure that such simple and kind emotions make up a happy family life.

“The family is the primary womb of human culture”

I. Ilyin

Speech on the topic “Culture of behavior is established in the family”

Kuzmich Alla Fedorovna,

social teacher

Culture is valuable for all humanity, it is dear to everyone. It is not dear only to those people who are deprived of it. Culture, and only culture, can help us.

Fostering a culture of behavior is today one of the components of moral education

Fostering a culture of behavior means teaching a child to respect society as a whole and each of its individual members everywhere and in everything. The rule is very simple, but alas, in everyday practice, human relationships are not always implemented by everyone. Meanwhile, the culture of human relations, communication between people play an important role in life. If a child is able to communicate culturally with loved ones and acquaintances, he will behave in the same way with complete strangers.

Work culture and behavior are qualities that are an indicator of a person’s attitude towards his work, people, society and indicate his social maturity. Their foundations are laid by parents in childhood, and then continue to develop and improve.

The culture of behavior is often considered as a trinity: the culture of appearance, the culture of communication and the culture of everyday life.

A culture of appearance is one of the components of a culture of behavior. A person’s appearance plays a role in communication practice big role. Psychologists have noted the tendency of people to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of someone based on appearance alone, since it is perceived as an integral characteristic of a person.

His mood and well-being largely depend on how others and himself evaluate a person’s (child’s) appearance. Often a person seems attractive not because of physical beauty, but because of his charm, which lies in a pleasant, kind, cheerful facial expression. However, some children grimace when communicating, wrinkle their forehead and nose. They raise their eyebrows high, smile crookedly, and stretch out their lips capriciously. Such behavior should be prevented and prohibited so that children have open faces, lively, friendly eyes, the beauty of which is emphasized by facial expressions and gestures developed good upbringing. It is known that the eyes are the mirror of the human soul.

A person’s appearance is manifested in expressive movements, which should be moderate and smooth.

Gait and posture can tell a lot about the culture of appearance. When walking with a child, visiting a store, parents should show and remind him how to hold his body, head, swing his arms and raise his legs. You can tell your son (daughter): “Let’s imagine that we are on the podium.” At the same time, parents themselves demonstrate a straight posture, a moderate arm span, and neat leg movements and demand the same from the child. The child must understand that gait and posture make a person beautiful and can be corrected if desired.

The ability to dress beautifully is also an element of the culture of appearance. Parents also help in shaping it. Children must clearly understand that only those clothes are good that match the situation: at school - school uniform: Houses - home clothes: for a walk - maybe sportswear, for a celebration - festive clothes, etc. Modern clothing is comfortable and varied: weekend and casual, sports and special. The boundaries between these categories are becoming increasingly blurred, but children must know that they must come to school in appropriate clothing. Adults should take part in the discussion of outfits, focusing on what is beautiful and harmonious. This will help improve children's ideas about beauty appearance.

Sometimes guys school age They strive to decorate their appearance: they start wearing cheap rings, chains, and earrings. Children should be told what is beautiful and ugly, appropriate and inappropriate, about taste and bad taste. It is important to develop in them a sense of proportion in everything. To do this, it is necessary to give examples from literature and fairy tales. Sometimes (can be taken as mandatory), when going on a visit, it is advisable to arrange a demonstration of models. Let the children put on all their clothes, walk around the room, and look in the mirror. At the same time, the mother will comment on each of the outfits and determine which one is more appropriate for the occasion. in this case. Then you can switch roles: the mother demonstrates her outfits, and the daughter comments and helps her decide on her choice (including hairstyles and jewelry)

The boundaries of decent and indecent should be known to children from childhood (for example, the manifestation of such physiological processes as coughing, sneezing, etc. in public places should be reduced to a minimum)

It is necessary to form a culture of appearance with elementary neatness and cleanliness, compliance with sanitary hygiene standards. Suitable for younger age use game forms introducing children to them, for example, “Visiting Moidodyr.” Let the child and his friend Moidodyr brush their teeth, wash their hands, wash their faces, use a comb and a towel. However, it should be remembered that if the tradition of brushing teeth and taking a shower in the evening has not been established by mom and dad, then it is very difficult to teach the child.

Work to cultivate a culture of appearance is usually carried out in two directions: developing a correct understanding of the external and internal beauty of a person and teaching children the art of being attractive, equipping them with knowledge specific ways“creating oneself” It is necessary to carry out the work in such a way that the student realizes that« Everything in a person should be beautiful: face, clothes, soul and thoughts... (A. Chekhov)

In the family great value has a relationship style. Politeness in handling increases the energy of each member and makes everyone “stronger.” It is important not to raise your voice or give orders. This demonstrates the triumph of the parents’ authority. Compliance with politeness norms protects against many conflicts. Creates a friendly atmosphere and improves mood. It is advisable to start every day in the family by greeting each other. It’s good if the good morning wish is accompanied by physical contact. Many psychologists believe that during physical contact an exchange of energy occurs, which makes the child stronger.

An indispensable condition for nurturing a culture of communication in children is the formation in them of an attitude of openness, friendliness, trust, and a sense of joy from communication. A necessary condition formation of a culture of communication, normal development the child's need for love. This need is satisfied when the child is told that we love him, we need him, we value him, and finally, that he is simply good. Such messages are contained in friendly glances, affectionate touches, a friendly smile, which is an essential feature of the appearance, and, of course, in direct words: “It’s so good that you were born with us,” “I’m glad to see you,” “I love when are you home""…

The main means of communication is language, speech, the word.

Speech culture is another component of behavior culture. By how a person masters this means of communication, one judges the level of his education.

It is no secret that today young people communicate in their own jargon (slang), and even worse - in obscene language. The task of each parent is to fight against jargon (cool, hipar, slaughter, great, crazy, don’t appear - you’ll get into trouble) and, of course, obscene words.

Child's notebook, entries in mobile phones, as well as communication in social network have a direct relationship to culture, language, creativity.

A person’s personal charm is also manifested in the ability to speak and converse. Communication culture includes the ability to correctly navigate a situation and select phrases taking into account who, why, what and how to say. When entering into communication, each person selects words that help establish and maintain “feedback” with the interlocutor. This also applies to communication with children.

The art of communicating with people, in addition to the ability to speak and carry on a conversation, also includes the ability to listen carefully to the interlocutor. Interrupting a person and not allowing him to speak out to the end was and is considered the height of tactlessness. It should also be remembered outside conversation. You know well that a well-mannered person will never allow himself to sit and talk to others if they are standing.

Oral speech is inseparable from gestures, but it is necessary to ensure that gestures are not energetic. Use an example to demonstrate what this can lead to.

The tone of the conversation is no less important. The same word sounds different if said with different intonation. Children should be encouraged to listen to themselves more often. To do this, it is useful to read poetry and prose together, to enrich the child’s vocabulary with phrases of speech etiquette, such as: I beg your pardon, I’m not smart, it’s my fault... The point, of course, is not the number of “magic words” spoken, but the fact that they never forget about a kind word for another person.

The art of arguing without violating good relationships also needs to be taught from childhood. The most basic thing that children need to learn: using a fist, swearing, or listing the shortcomings of your interlocutor are not arguments in a dispute.

The child’s attitude towards surrounding objects, norms of behavior, and life activities in his home arises indirectly, thanks to his communication with all family members. The emotions that accompany this communication help the child understand the meaning that is given to the world around him by loved ones. He reacts sharply to the tone and intonation of adults, sensitively captures the general style and atmosphere of relationships. The family provides the child with a variety of behavioral models that he will focus on when acquiring his own social experience. Based on specific actions and methods of communication that the child sees in his immediate environment and into which he himself is drawn by adults, he learns to compare, evaluate, and choose certain forms of behavior and methods of interaction with the surrounding reality.

An integral part of everyday culture is the ability to organize rationally and tastefully external environment and your home. To prevent the virus of money-grubbing and consumerism from infecting young people, they should be educated and talked about a sense of proportion, necessity and sufficiency.

The culture of everyday life also includes the ability to use time rationally. It is necessary to cultivate in your child the habit of constantly tracking time (how much time did you walk today, how much did you watch TV, how much did you spend preparing lessons) and planning it. The child must imagine how he will spend his free time. However, he needs help with this, that is, suggest ways. This method could be a notebook where the child records things for tomorrow. In the evening, by crossing out, he sums up what he has done.

When organizing work to realize time savings, it is necessary for children to learn the most important thing: treating their own and other people’s time as a greater value, because this is one of the indicators of a culture of behavior, a sign of a well-mannered person.

Adults also play a big role in fostering a culture of behavior in public places and in transport. As an example, parents must first monitor their own behavior.

This is a mandatory rule of cultural behavior, which is brought up not with the help of moral teachings, but with the whole way of life, the relationships that exist in the family. The rudeness of children towards their parents in most cases occurs because tactlessness and rudeness reigned in the relationships between them.

Family, family values, traditions represent important elements cultures have been necessary and significant for humans for centuries. In progress historical development In society, family values ​​are passed on to new generations through tradition as a model of behavior in the family and society.

It is impossible to imagine a family without certain established traditions, since almost all families celebrate holidays, celebrate the birthdays of family members, the beginning and end of academic year for schoolchildren, receiving a passport, days of majority, etc. Common events should be celebrated by children and adults in a special way, with fiction, games, riddles, tasks, and not reduced to drinking alcohol.

Birthdays of children and adults should be organized festively in the family. At the same time, the main thing is that at such a holiday they do not forget about the birthday boy, so that there is no boredom and monotony, so that parents do not feel superfluous at the celebration of their children. And vice versa, so that children always remain welcome at the celebration of their parents.

It’s a great tradition to give gifts on family celebrations. Children need to be taught this. When choosing a gift, as a rule, you need to focus on its value for the birthday person. Therefore, it does not have to be expensive. The best gift will be something made with your own hands.

Family traditions may be the simplest, most unpretentious, but they are remembered by the child and awaken the best feelings in him.

The moral and educational potential of family traditions is enormous. It fosters the ability to love, respect, understand each other, and feel another person next to you. Family traditions leave their mark on the culture of human needs and desires, and contribute to the development of the ability to manage one’s desires, regulate them, and give up some of them for the benefit of the family. Traditions also influence the formation of personality traits. Fostering a sense of duty, the ability to take responsibility for one’s actions, and caring for each other is much more successful in families with established positive traditions. However, it should be remembered that these traditions do not arise on their own. To create them, a lot of hard work and high spiritual culture of parents are required.

There are times when guys know the rules of behavior, but do not follow them. There are several reasons for this.

1. Children simply do not know some rules. However, ignorance of the rules is a simple and easily removable reason.

2. The guys know some rules of behavior, but do not know how to implement them correctly. This means that they have not developed a habit, which is formed by repeated exercise.

3. Sometimes a child knows the rules of behavior, knows how to follow them, but... does not follow them. Most likely this happens due to his lack of willpower in achieving something.

4. Children often do not follow the rules, considering them unnecessary, unimportant, and simply made up by adults.

It must be remembered: in order to develop a certain behavior skill, exercises are needed. To do this, each parent can use natural life situations, create conditions that encourage the child to act morally, allowing him to practically master the rules of a culture of behavior.

1. Don’t teach culture in a didactic way. Excessive moralization causes a desire to act out of spite.

2. Involve the child in feasible activities.

3.Create special situations - tasks.

4. Use methods of self-determination more often in relation to children: “Assignment to yourself”, “Diary of good deeds”, “Step forward”.

5. To develop a culture of behavior, make extensive use of games and game situations

7.Create various reminders with children.

8. Remember that in developing a culture of behavior there are situations when no words are needed at all, an example, a model of action is enough.

9.Teach your child to repeat necessary actions and actions so that his behavior becomes relaxed and natural.

10.Remember: you are the main educator, you are an example.

Questionnaire

What role does a person’s appearance play?

Do your parents teach you to dress with taste? What does tasteful mean?

Do you agree that culture is established in the family?

What established traditions do you have in your family?

Do you adhere to the rules of behavior in various life situations?

Psychology of communication in the family

Communication. Great power is hidden in communication, in the ability to communicate with each other. Family communication is of great importance for spouses. If there is no communication, there is no family happiness. Develop a culture of communication in your family, talk about everything, discuss all the topics and difficulties that concern you, discuss what is happening now and what you are striving for in two, three, four years. And in ten years?

As long as there is communication between you, you will have family happiness. As soon as you stop communicating, you will become uninteresting to each other. As soon as you start spending your evenings in front of the TV or with a magazine, instead of spreading a blanket on the floor, lighting candles, pouring tea and having family “chatter” evenings, coldness will immediately appear in your relationship. Is this what you want?

Here I can immediately say that there is no need to take everything with hostility and say: “When should we communicate: work, children, washing, ironing, cooking, but we don’t have enough strength to communicate.” You understand perfectly well that everything depends on the person and his desire. Cause and effect should not be confused. Often, mutual reproaches and grievances, lack of time due to the fact that one person in the family does much more than the other, arises precisely because of the lack of constant communication and heart-to-heart conversations.

How to talk to a man, how to ask him and convince him to help you around the house is the topic of a separate article, and more than one. And such articles already exist on our website. Now I will only say that if you learn to communicate, learn to understand each other, calmly and confidently convey your wishes to your partner, then the question that “there is not enough time and your husband does not help around the house” will disappear from your life. Plus, if you have children, spending family evenings together - communication, you will instill in their subconscious an image of family happiness. And the mutual understanding in the family, which they will observe from childhood, will help them build their family happiness in the future.

How great it is to be bored and look forward to it every evening. With the desire to meet, hug and ask each other about how today was? What was interesting and funny? What were the difficulties? What went well, what feats did your real man accomplish? - And just listen, just laugh or say: “You will succeed, you can handle everything, I believe in you!”

Can you imagine how many amazing things you can learn about your partner, with whom you have lived for many years, if you learn to listen and communicate.

The main thing is, at least a couple of times a week, find time, sit down together and ask: “What do you like? What are you currently passionate about? What would you like (want) in three years in your life? What do you live for now? Are you satisfied with everything, or do you want to change something in yourself or in our lives?”

Sometimes it just seems to us that we know everything about the person living next to us.. Although in fact we do not know even half of what is happening in his life, what he feels, what he strives for, what he fears, what he likes and what irritates him. It just “seems” to us. In fact, try to stop and ask your loved one (beloved), and then silently, very carefully listen. Do not interrupt or finish the sentence for your partner, as many people like to do, but let the person speak at least once in your entire life together.

How to do this? Imagine that you asked a question and filled your mouth with water. And no matter how much you now want to add something, argue with something, “correct” something and say it in your own way, you cannot do this. Give it a try. I assure you, you will learn a lot of new and interesting things for yourself. And after a while, you will catch yourself beginning to be surprised and somehow look at your soulmate in a new way. After all, your partner, like any other person, is a huge, unknown Universe, and I am sure that he (she) is a very interesting person!

If it doesn’t work out the first time and your significant other is surprised by this “suddenly” interest, don’t be surprised and don’t push your position. After all, perhaps for many years you talked only about everyday topics, sometimes you quarreled and demanded something.

Therefore, have patience and wisdom, and if the person is not yet ready to open up, tell him a little about yourself, but only a little. Tell us how you want your relationship to turn out. Talk about why the person you live with is important to you. Thank your partner for everything he/she does for you. After all, in life we ​​so rarely hear words of gratitude and simply the words “Thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for being you and for what you do for our family.” And if you yourself do not hear such words from your partner, but at the same time you want to hear them, then maybe first you yourself should learn to give and give to another person what we want to see in our life?

Give each other time, gain wisdom and patience, and build your relationship as if you had just met and strive to find out everything about each other: what music you like to listen to, what movies you like to watch, what you like to do in your free time, what you dream about, what kind of person he wants to become in a few years, what kind of relationship he wants to have in his family, etc., etc.

You can tell and offer this idea to your partner as an exciting game.. Like an idea, as if you meet a stranger twice a week who you really like and get to know him from scratch. He is so interesting to you that you listen to him with bated breath and absorb new information with every cell. And a new person opens up before you, with those fears, experiences, dreams and joys that you didn’t even know about.

By the way, this is actually true. Many people continue to live with the ideas about their loved ones that they had five, ten, fifteen years ago. But during this time, a lot has changed, and even more so, your partner has changed too. What did he (she) have to live through? What did he go through, what successes, achievements and disappointments happened in his life? What feelings does he/she have for you? And what would you like him (she) to experience? Maybe it’s still worth trying to revive what was before? Try it, you will definitely succeed.

What I also want to say in conclusion is that you can learn to communicate and listen to each other not only with your husband or wife. Here I am not talking about those people, as they are called “energy vampires,” who can talk incessantly and in different topics. No, I’m talking now about ourselves and about those people dear to us, the ideas about whom we formed 10, 15, or 20 years ago and live in the past in these ideas, I’m not trying to get to know the person again. This often happens to parents when they do not want to notice their children growing up and believe that their son or daughter still loves sausage sandwiches and eats a whole cake in one sitting, like in adolescence.

Try to silently listen to your children, your relatives and people close to you in spirit, your friends and colleagues. Sometimes, when you really want to interrupt another person and say: “Yes, yes, but you know, I also have ...”, or “But you remember, a few years ago you ...”, remember this article and just listen to the person. Ask him questions about himself. About his interests and hobbies, and I think you will be very surprised how many misconceptions and outdated information you have accumulated. Perhaps you will begin to discover the world around you and the people living in it as if anew.

Rule 1. Don't try to change your spouse. It's important to be yourself the right person. Treat his friends and family with respect, even if you are not happy with them.

Rule 2. Give in to each other. Consider the interests and needs of your spouse, avoid misunderstandings and quarrels. Use common sense in your requests.

Rule 3. Don't force your point of view on your spouse. Let each person present his or her view of the problem and consider the other’s objections. If the argument reaches a dead end, move the conversation to another topic. And we can talk about this later.

Rule 4. Consider each other's moods. Try to manage your behavior. Don't take it out on your loved ones. Try to relax and talk about the problem. Even if an upset spouse tries to start a conflict, do not give in, do not respond with rudeness to rudeness. Show interest in his problems.

Rule 5. Do not follow the advice of friends and relatives who insist that he or she needs to be punished or taught a lesson. Believe me, you will suffer no less.

Rule 6. Don’t be offended by each other for a long time, don’t be vindictive, don’t try to take revenge. Contain negative emotions. Don't grumble.

Rule 7. Respect each other. Try to be worthy of respect. Make an effort to make your relationships bring joy and warmth. Organize small holidays for yourself, look after each other, show signs of attention.

Rule 8. Self-criticism is useful procedure with your actions and actions. Before you make any demand, ask yourself: “What do I want to get?” "How to do this?" Then many conflicts can be avoided. Set high standards for yourself. Be able to admit your mistakes.

Rule 9. Do not insult each other, strive to see only the good in your companion. Every person has positive qualities. Relatives and friends should talk about them, and not about noticed shortcomings.

Be proud of your loved ones, it helps to believe in yourself.
Support each other!

Etiquette for older preschoolers

Software tasks:
1. Clarify children’s understanding of the concept of “culture of behavior”
2. To develop children’s knowledge about the rules and norms of behavior in different social situations
3. Develop polite communication skills
4. Foster the need for friendly communication with others.

Material: Multimedia equipment, pictures on the topic

Progress of the conversation:

Educator: Good morning, guys, today we will talk to you about culture of behavior. A culture of behavior is the rules of human behavior that everyone needs to follow: both adults and children. Think about where you need to follow the rules of behavior?
Children: on the bus, at a party, at the table, on the street, in kindergarten
Educator: Absolutely right! Rules of conduct must be observed by everyone, everywhere. What rules of behavior must be observed on the bus? Let's look at the picture.

Educator: Tell me what can be done and what cannot be done?
Children: You can't help but scream and play around. You need to give way to your elders
Educator: Right. Now let's look at the following picture about table manners

Educator: What are the guys doing right here and what are they doing wrong?
Children: At the table you need to eat carefully, do not throw food around, do not reach across the table for food, do not talk with your mouth full, etc.
Educator: You are absolutely right! What rules exist when visiting the theater, circus or cinema?

Children: Don't make noise, don't talk on the phone. You need to clap your hands at the end of the performance
Educator: Guys, when you come to visit, what rules of conduct should you follow?

Children: You can’t play around and break toys. You should always say thank you for the treat
Educator: That's right, we must follow the same rules of behavior not only when visiting, but also at home. I'm sure your parents will be very pleased if you are cultured

Educator: In kindergarten, the rules of cultural behavior must also be observed.

For example. When you come to kindergarten, you should definitely say hello to adults and children. What other rules of behavior are there in kindergarten?
Children: You can’t take other people’s toys, you can’t fight, you can’t break toys, if you’ve offended someone, you need to ask for forgiveness. Children must obey adults
Educator: Right. When you have eaten, you need to say “thank you!” Politeness is also a culture of behavior, so we must know polite words. What polite words do you know?
Children: thank you, please be so kind, sorry, nice to meet you, etc.
Educator: Right. Remember, maintaining a culture of behavior in public places is very important. If you are cultured, well-mannered and polite, then the attitude of others towards you will be the same. Look at the picture and remember these rules. (The teacher shows a picture and reads out the rules of behavior in public places)

Educator: Now look at another picture. What do you see? Are children doing the right thing?
Behavioral situations
(The teacher offers the children pictures, the children reason and explain their actions)

Educator: Well done, guys, I would really like us all to be educated and cultured, which is what I wish for you.

SPECIAL (CORRECTIONAL) GENERAL EDUCATION
BOARDING SCHOOL FOR CHILDREN WITH VISUAL IMPAIRMENTS.
ABOUT THE CULTURE OF BEHAVIOR TEACHER: L.G. TIMKINA
Troitsk, 2005
Conversation: “About the culture of behavior.”
What is etiquette? This is “an established order of behavior, forms of behavior in any society,” - Academic Dictionary of the Modern Russian Language.
In Russian society, etiquette began to take shape during the reign of Peter I. Before him, people in Rus' lived in isolation, meetings were either business or casual in nature.
Etiquette norms developed gradually.
What is ethics?
Science?
Hmm, science, that's the thing!
What is science about?
Here is the bully's opinion:
Ha, ethics of behavior!
What else did you come up with?
What, maybe I should become a good girl now?
Don't throw, don't spit
And don't fight, don't push,
Dress carefully
Don't mock anyone!
So you will begin to turn into a gentle person...
Very, very polite
Quiet and modest, ethically educated...
What does folk wisdom say?
We also know from fairy tales,
That good always and everywhere triumphs over evil,
And in life, truth follows the path of kindness,
Try to fight the truth!
Let's better summarize what we read between the lines. We are in the book of human wisdom.
Listen to sayings from the world of wise thoughts modern writers and poets.
Alexander Yashin.
“I love it when, when we meet friends and family:
“Good morning!”, “Good evening!”, “Good night!” - we say
Anatoly Markusha.
“To become a person, you need to love people and you need to be loved by people.”
As a parting word for you, the riddle advice “Wonderful Medicines” from the book “On Politeness, on Tact, on Delicacy” by Lyudmila Aleshina.
Which herbaceous plant blooms first? (mother-and-stepmother)
What animal is the fastest on earth? (cheetah)
What bird loves burdock seeds? (Goldfinch)
Captain's assignment No. 2.
Game: "Who's Who?"
Residents have moved into a new 4-apartment building. Voronov, Pavlov, Zhuravlev and Sinitsyn.
One of them is a mathematician, the second is an artist, the third is a writer, and the fourth is an accordion player. Who is who?
It was known:
M X PB
Voronov Pavlov Zhuravlev Sinitsyn Voronov and Zhuravlev do not know how to play the button accordion (put dashes in column B) Voronov is unfamiliar with Zhuravlev.
The writer and artist visit Pavlov's dacha.
The writer is going to write an essay about Sinitsyn and Voronov. (Place dashes in column P)
a) Apparently Zhuravlev is a writer, let’s put an end to it
b) So, Pavlov, Zhuravlev and the artist meet at the dacha. This means the artist is Sinitsyn or Voronov. But Voronov is unfamiliar with Zhuravlev, which means the artist is Sinitsyn.
Now you need to cross out all the rows and columns that have dots on them. And it will immediately be clear that Pavlov is an accordion player, and Voronov is a mathematician.
Answer: Zhuravlev is a writer, Sinitsyn is an artist, Voronov is a mathematician, Pavlov is an accordion player.
Task for team No. 2.
Where do crayfish spend the winter? (under snags in the water)
What mushroom is called the beast of prey? (chanterelle)
Which tree blooms later than others? (linden)
What is semolina made from? (from wheat)
What grass do cats like? (valerian)
CONVERSATION No. 2. ABOUT THE CULTURE OF BEHAVIOR.
LESSON 2.
Game. Show the children a human figure cut out of paper. You need to select cards that indicate the signs of a well-mannered person and place them around the person’s figure: neat (untidy), polite (rude), modest (cheeky), sociable (closed), attentive (indifferent), smart (stupid), witty, tactful , delicate, friendly, reserved. What is tact, delicacy?
Example:
Marina went to visit a friend for homework.
My friend was having lunch.
Do you want to eat? - she asked.
No, thank you, Marina thanked.
Come on, I know you don’t eat well, sit down.
What is your friend's tactlessness?
What should I have done? (I don’t want to be alone, keep me company. Mom says that I don’t eat well alone, let’s go together, it will be more fun.) What kind of feeling do you think a person experiences in the company of tactful, delicate people? (It’s easy, simple, free for him, they are not embarrassed, they are not afraid of doing something wrong).
In A. Dorokhov’s book “It’s Worth Remembering” there is the following passage:
“When I was young, I considered myself a well-mannered person. When meeting acquaintances, he knew how to bow politely and calmly. In a conversation, I listened attentively to my interlocutor, did not allow myself to interrupt his story... In an argument, even the heated one, I never shouted and, moreover, did not use rude words... In a word, my upbringing seemed impeccable to me.
But it only seemed so. And it turned out completely unexpectedly.
Sometime during student practice I had to live for two weeks with a gang of lumberjacks. And then one evening I accidentally overheard a conversation that I will remember forever. Sitting down on the threshold of our spacious dugout, the artel leader quietly talked with the cook, they were talking about me.
The guy is nothing, - said the cook, - literate, but too gray!.. There is no upbringing.
And what? - the headman became interested.
Yes, he does everything in a non-human way. It starts to wash, the whole floor will flood, then wipe up after it. He sits down at the table - no, to slurp the liquid first, immediately, without command, he begins to drag meat from the bottom. Even though it’s not a difficult task to bring a spoon to your mouth, he’s not accustomed to it either: he won’t put bread under the spoon, he’ll drip it on the table. And where did he live before?
“If you are healthy, you have untold wealth! To save it, take this advice: regularly use the medications that I tested on myself. Great help!
These medications are not sold in pharmacies. They do not grow among herbs and flowers. They cannot be bought and cannot be made. They are intangible, weightless and invisible. But they have miraculous powers - they create an excellent mood, instill cheerfulness and optimism. They make a person attractive, pleasant, likable. In personal relationships, they work wonders: they remove grievances, omissions, and eliminate troubles. They make relationships easy and simple.”
Try to guess this riddle.
(Politeness, modesty, attentiveness, sociability, cheerfulness, intelligence, wit, accuracy).
YOUR COMMUNICATION STYLE
RULES FOR EVERY DAY.
Don't talk while eating
Don't lick the plates
Don't interrupt the speaker
Don't shout or raise your voice unless the people in front of you are deaf
Don't point your finger at anyone
Don't imitate the speaker
Don't forget to take off your hat when entering the house
Don't interfere in someone else's conversation without saying "excuse me"
Don't forget to apologize if you accidentally pushed someone
Don't sneeze into space, sneeze into a handkerchief
Don't keep your hands in your pockets
Don’t comb your hair anywhere, there’s a corridor, a toilet room, a foyer for that.
WHAT DOES PEOPLE'S MOOD DEPEND ON.
The mood of each of us depends to a great extent on the behavior of the people with whom we communicate.
People have their own style of behavior, everyone has their own manners. Manners can be good or bad.
Anything unnecessary, superfluous in behavior that makes it difficult to communicate with a person is considered to be bad manners.
How to master good manners? First of all, we need to know etiquette, and secondly, not to do what we do not like in the behavior and actions of others.
One wise man was asked: “Who did you learn good manners from?”
“Among the ill-bred,” he answered, “I avoided doing what they do.”
The most important thing in communicating with people is mutual respect, which cannot be replaced by the beauty of clothes and lies.
The 15th century Eastern poet Jami wrote:
“If it didn’t decorate your soul
Courtesy understand
What is the use of the fact that you have eclipsed all people with the beauty of your dress?
Manners are considered good if a person is modest, does not advertise his personality, and knows how to restrain and limit himself.
“THINK WELL, AND YOUR THOUGHTS WILL ripen into GOOD ACTIONS” (L.N. TOLSTOY) Imagine yourself in a number of ordinary situations. Continue them as you wish:
When I came home, my mother was frying pancakes. I asked...
On Sunday I woke up early and decided...
There's a new student in class, and I...
In many cases you had a desire to help, i.e. show sympathy.
Poem by Alexander Yashin
Whose heart softened
Who did you give your hand to?
To whom did I make it easier?
Mental anguish?
Whose old age did you console?
Who did you make happy?
Who's on the road
Did you take him to the tavern?
WHEN TO SPEAK WHICH WORD? The ability to speak is not a simple art. The word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it. That is, before you say something, you need to think, otherwise you can offend a person and even quarrel with him. There is no arguing about tastes, tastes are being developed. But why can’t you say to another person: “How can you wear such shoes, it’s ugly!” Other people's tastes, rules, and customs should not be ridiculed.
Let's try to answer 3 questions (in writing):
Whose and what words offended me?
Who did I offend and with what words?
Whose and what words, not to me, but spoken in front of me, resonated unpleasantly in me?
Is it possible to offend not with a word, but only with the intonation itself?
By the way a person speaks, one can judge the degree of his culture and upbringing.
“A well-mannered person knows how to listen...”
7 TIPS FROM KARL SMOLKA’S BOOK “RULES OF GOOD TONE.”
Don't try to appear to be something other than who you really are. A modest manner of expression indicates a sense of self-esteem.
Try not to make promises that you cannot keep.
Respect the opinions of others, but do not follow them slavishly.
The conversation should be entertaining. There is no need to engage in empty chatter, from which others have neither benefit nor pleasure.
Do not separate yourself from the rest of society with a group of interlocutors.
Don't whisper. If you need to whisper something in someone's ear, take him aside.
Don't give in to the mood. Don't get excited or irritated.
KINDNESS AND WELLNESS.
Kindness is sensitivity, responsiveness, delicacy towards another person.
Benevolence is the desire for good.
The poet Alexander Yashin has the following lines in one poem:
Not from a craving for vanity and did not develop yesterday,
This is a brotherly, loving wish for health,
Wishing you well.
And life seems to be better, and my heart is happier,
If you wish others well-being on earth.
A benevolent person cannot be evil, rude, or cruel. This means that a person must constantly control himself.
Answer 5 “how many”:
How many times and with whom did you say hello today?
How many times and to whom did you give way?
How many times and towards whom have you refrained from being rude?
How many times have you called your classmate by his nickname?
How many times have you shown attention to another person (listened, helped, showed the way, etc.)?
Being kind is not easy.
Wishing good for another, a person must be able to give up some benefits for the sake of another person.
V. Hugo said very well: “In the inner world of a person, kindness is the sun.”
LITERATURE.
Smolk Karl Rules of good manners. M., Progress, 1980
Shemshurina A.I. Ethical dialogues with students in grades 5-6. M., School-Press, 1998.
CONVERSATION No. 4. RULES OF CONDUCTOn the street
In transport
In public places
On vacation
On the street
It is accepted in Russia right-hand traffic therefore, when walking down the street you should adhere to right side. If you need to overtake those in front, then go around them to the left, saying: “Let me pass.” If you are walking home (with a girl), then, bypassing those in front, let her pass first. Oncoming pedestrians must be passed on the right. It is better to hold a bag, briefcase, and various things in your right hand. In the UK, for example, left-hand traffic, i.e. you should stick to the left.
In the company. For a man accompanying a woman, there are special rules of behavior on the street. Previously a woman always had to go to the right of the man. The roots of this rule go back to the Middle Ages, when men carried a sword on the left. Modern rules Etiquette states that a woman walks to the right of a man only on official occasions; in ordinary life, this requirement may not be observed. If a man is accompanying two women, then, in accordance with the rules of etiquette, it is better for the man to walk to the left of the ladies he is accompanying. A man must give way to a woman, an elderly person, and, if necessary, even get off the sidewalk if it is too narrow.
IN public transport.
When traveling on public transport with a lady, the man enters the cabin after her, but gets out first and offers his hand to his companion.
A well-mannered person will always help a woman with a child or luggage to get out.
In Russia, in public transport it is customary to give up seats to passengers with children and people with disabilities. Often the driver (conductor) himself reminds about this, and in the salons there are special places for passengers with children and disabled people.
In public places.
When entering a room, a man lets a woman through at the door, a junior lets a senior through, a subordinate lets a boss through.
Of two people of the same age, occupying an equal position in society, the one who is closest to the door passes first.
On vacation.
Excursions to nature.
If you go out into nature, you need to remember one simple rule - you should act in such a way as not to harm it.
Do not cut down trees, do not break green branches, take only dry dead wood for the fire. Do not pick forest flowers, there are few of them left. Almost all of them are listed in the Red Book.
When leaving the picnic site, be sure to collect all the garbage and, either, take it with you and throw it away. trash can in the city, or bury it in a secluded place.
The fire must be carefully extinguished so that after you leave, a gust of wind does not fan the flames.
In the pool.
Before you start visiting the pool, you must obtain a medical certificate stating that you do not have infectious diseases, in particular, skin ones. Otherwise, you will be putting not only yourself, but also other visitors at risk.
Then you need to stock up on a suitable swimsuit, flip-flops, a cap and goggles.
Before entering the water, you need to take a shower, and repeat this procedure when leaving the water.
If you are involved in a sports section, then the rules of conduct for you are determined by the coach, but if you attend a subscription group, you just need to be polite to the people around you, do not interfere with each other on the paths and do not make fun of those who are not very skilled
It is indecent to dive under people swimming by and look at them underwater.
It is prohibited to swim across the paths.
You should not make noise in the pool or play any games in the water.
CONVERSATION No. 5.
CULTURE OF BEHAVIOR
How should you behave at the table? How to use a fork, spoon and knife?
How often and in what ways do you help your mother and grandmother?
What should you do before entering someone's house or apartment?
How and with whom should you greet? What words should you say when meeting and saying goodbye?
How should you greet guests, as well as your loved ones from work?
Who should give up a seat to whom (at a party or in transport? Do you need to take off your hat when you come to visit, to the theater or to the children's library?
If you ate candy, what do you do with the candy wrapper:
a) throw it on the ground, in the trash bin
b) give it to your mom
Is it possible and when can you talk in cinemas, theaters and other public places?
What do you call a person who picks flowers in a flowerbed or breaks tree branches in a forest (park)?
Why shouldn't you pick flowers in the forest? Why you can’t catch butterflies and beetles7 Why can’t you destroy anthills and knock the hats off the handsome fly agarics?
Can someone who hurts animals be called polite?
Why would a truly polite person never lie, brag, or be rude to other people?
ANSWERS:
- Calmly! Everyone sit down in your place!..
Please don't dangle your legs at the table. Don't knock spoons on saucers. You should behave calmly at the table without unnecessary noise.
The soup is eaten with a spoon, with the right hand. When finishing the soup, tilt the plate away from you. With a fork (without a knife), holding it in the right hand, they eat chopped meat, vegetables, potatoes, and pasta.
Cake and pastries are eaten with a small spoon.
When you accidentally get your mouth and hands dirty while eating, don't forget to use a napkin.
When leaving the table, don’t forget to say “thank you.”
You, of course, know that mom, dad, grandparents and the rest of your close relatives are your most faithful, most reliable friends. They are always with you, both on holidays and in difficult times. And you need to take care of your friends. Take care of them. Try to help them in everything. Therefore, please, wash the dishes yourself after eating as often as possible. When grandparents and mothers come home from the street, help them undress and bring them slippers.
Never interrupt adults in conversation. Don't be rude to them, please, try to be a real master in your home. A good owner cleans the house every day: sweeps the floor, wipes off the dust.
Try not to quarrel with younger brothers and sisters.
Before entering someone's house or apartment, you should call or knock on doors. When entering someone's house or apartment, you need to say hello to the owner.
Please never forget to say hello when meeting people you know. In this case, the man or the one who is younger should be the first to say greetings, and the woman or the one who is older should be the first to extend his hand; a man, greeting a person from afar, can slightly raise his hat. Saying hello awkwardly, extending a gloved hand. When meeting, greeting people say: “Good morning”, “Good afternoon” or simply “Hello”. When parting, he usually says: “Goodbye,” “All the best.”
Don't forget to warn your friends in advance that you are expecting them. Tell them the day and hour. Someone called... You politely greet everyone. Help the girls take off their jackets and coats and take them into the room first. When your loved ones come home from work, help them undress and bring them slippers.
Always give up your seat on the bus and other transport to people who are older than you. Or who - you see - are very tired, sick. If guests come to you, you need to politely greet them, help them undress, and invite them to the table. Be sure to seat your guests at the table, and only then sit down yourself.
Upon entering the library premises, men and boys must take off their hats (with the exception of shops). In the cinema or theater, women can remove their hats if they wish.
Candy wrappers should be thrown into the trash bin or used to make various crafts.
In the theater you can only talk during intermission. It is indecent to speak even in a whisper in a movie. In other public places (shop, street, etc.) it is rude to talk and laugh loudly.
A person who picks flowers in a flower bed or breaks branches in a forest or park can be called a hooligan.
You cannot pick flowers in the forest, catch beetles and butterflies, destroy anthills, knock off the caps of mushrooms, because their number is decreasing, and they are all listed in the Red Book.
Anyone who hurts animals is an evil person.
A polite person's upbringing does not allow him to lie, brag, or be rude.
Literature:
Maksimenko O.I. – “Encyclopedia of Etiquette” M., AST, Astrel 2001
“The ABC of Politeness” - L.V. Gangnus

Extracurricular activity in grades 3-4 “Culture of greeting, treatment and acquaintance”

Target: draw students' attention to the culture of speech, to generally accepted norms of pronunciation and forms of speech, greetings.

Epigraph: “Speak so that I can see you” (Socrates).

Progress of the event

Guys! Today we will talk about the most common forms of speech, because the figures of speech you choose should evoke the desired impression on your interlocutor.

— How do we greet each other, adults, acquaintances? (Hello! Glad to see you! Greetings! Good afternoon!)

The greeting can be complemented by a smile, a slight bow or a nod.

If the distance between those greeting is large, it makes sense to exchange bows.

-What is a bow?

Bowing is fixing the head in an inclined position for 1-2 seconds.

(Children practice bowing.)

When greeting, it is better to use the traditional expression “hello!” It goes back to the Old Slavonic verb “hello”, i.e. “to be healthy”, healthy. The greeting is first found in the Letters and Papers of Peter the Great.

In the business world, a common greeting is to indicate the time of a meeting.

Good morning! (up to 12 hours).

Good afternoon (until 18 o'clock).

Good evening! (after 18 o'clock).

Good night! (after 24 hours).

According to the rules of etiquette, the first to greet:

Man - woman;

Younger in age - older.

Addressing your interlocutor - important point speech etiquette.

— What forms of address do you know?

(Children call, for example, “by name and patronymic”, “Comrade Colonel”, “ladies and gentlemen”, “your honor”, ​​“mister”, etc.)

In Western companies, as a rule, it is customary to address people by “you” and by name. Remember that if you have not been offered another way of addressing yourself, then you should always address your elders as “you”.

. “You” we say to those closest to us, relatives, friends, acquaintances.

. “You” is a formal way of addressing someone.

Etiquette, or dating culture, also has its own speech forms.

— What speech forms do we use?

(Children list, if necessary, the teacher adds.)

Let me introduce you...

My name is... Response form:

Very nice...

My name is...

I would like to introduce you...

Situation 1. You are traveling on public transport, you need to transfer money for a ticket.

- What will you do? How do you contact your neighbor on transport?

Please...

Please...

Please be kind...

Situation 2. When leaving the cinema, someone stepped on your foot and immediately apologized.

— How should you respond to an apology?

Please.

It's OK.

Not worth an apology.

Situation 3 . Your classmate expresses an opinion with which you disagree.

— How will you express your disagreement?

I don't agree with you because...

Sorry, but you're not entirely right.

I have to disagree with you because...

— How can you express in words your agreement with what you heard?

You're right.

Without a doubt.

I have no objections.