On what day are people not buried? Funeral: Orthodox traditions, customs

Publishing house "Blagovest" Moscow 2001

The end of a person's life

Burial rite

Commemoration of the dead

Funeral meal

What you need to know about burial (Main mistakes that affect the afterlife fate of the dead)

God has everyone alive

What does it mean to die as a Christian?

Of the questions that can be asked of ourselves regarding our life on earth, perhaps the most important is how best to prepare for death. Of the questions that can be asked of ourselves regarding our life on earth, perhaps the most important is how best to prepare for death.

Father! Into Your hands I commend My spirit (Luke 23:46) - such were last words Gentlemen from the Cross. Will these be our last words? And what will we get before we die? We must always be prepared for death and try to move away from this world so that our very death is a testimony of our faith and love for the Lord and, if possible, an edification for our neighbors.

Our Savior: gave us best example. Didn't he suffer on the Cross? Wasn't his death terrible and even a reproach in the eyes of the whole world? And despite what patience, what love for one’s neighbor, what endless forgiveness, what devotion to the will of God! Likewise, each of us must die.

When we feel death approaching, we will try to find the courage to end our lives with dignity.

Before cruel illness and infirmity have yet completely crushed us, let’s think about our past life, remember the shameful things that we may have forgotten to repent of or have not yet decided to do. And then we will make a decision to fast for at least three days (or for seriously ill people, one day), read (or for us to read) prayers of repentance, and prepare for Communion.

Before Communion, let us reconcile with those who were our enemies, ill-wisher, and ask forgiveness from those whom we ourselves offended.

If you still have the strength to go to the nearest church to repent of your sins, receive unction and receive Holy Communion Christ's Mysteries, then you definitely need to do this.

In the Sacrament of Unction (anointing), sins committed out of ignorance or forgotten are forgiven.

Saint Elijah Minyaty (1714) speaks about the significance of Communion before death in his sermon “The Greatness of the Sacrament of Holy Communion”: “A star does not shine in the sky as much as the soul of a Christian shines from the light of God’s grace at the hour when he receives communion. And this is because when we receive communion, then we become members of the Body of Christ, united with Christ. And if our soul were separated from the body at this hour, it would find a place with the martyrs, virgins and saints... My God! My savior! Let me die, if it be Your holy will, whether in a remote forest or in some other deserted place, that is all long ago for me, if only before death I may be worthy of the Communion of Your most pure Body and Blood! After all, if at that hour You will be with me, then I am not afraid of death: with such parting words as Your Body and Blood, I firmly hope to achieve Your Heavenly Kingdom.”

If we become seriously ill, we will ask our relatives to invite a priest to our home.

In anticipation of our death, let us try to get rid of grumbling, indignation, and envy of those who remain to live. This will reveal our courage, our dignity, our trust in the Lord, and our complete surrender to the will of God.

Let's give our children and grandchildren the last instruction on how to live, talk with them about how to pray for us after death, what to read at our very death, how to bury us, what to clothe us in.

We will divide our property between relatives so that there will be no resentment between them later. We will transfer part of our wealth (or leave it) for donation to a temple or monastery, for alms in our name.

But all this is just before the very end. In the meantime, we are still alive, even if we are full of strength and healthy, let us not forget about death. “Mortal memory gives rise to prayer, tears, repentance before God,” this is what the holy fathers teach us.

The end of a person's life

How to pray for a dying person. How to pray for a dying person.

When a person leaves this world for eternity, a special canon is read over him, “The Canon of Prayer for the Exodus of the Soul,” which is written on behalf of the dying person, but can be read by a priest or someone close to him. People also call it the “exodus prayer.” When a person leaves this world for eternity, a special canon is read over him, “The Canon of Prayer for the Exodus of the Soul,” which is written on behalf of the dying person, but can be read by a priest or someone close to him. People also call it “the prayer of departure.”

It is not necessary to read it next to the dying person. If a person dies in a hospital, the canon can be read at home. The main thing is to support the soul with prayer in its most difficult moments. If a Christian gives up the ghost during the reading of the canon, then it is finished reading with a funeral refrain:

“Rest, O Lord, to the soul of Your departed servant...”

In cases where the dying illness lasts a long time, bringing severe suffering to both the sick person and his relatives, then, with the blessing of the priest, another canon can be read - “The rite performed for the separation of the soul from the body, when a person suffers for a long time.” It contains petitions for the speedy and peaceful death of the sufferer. The texts of the canons are placed in Orthodox prayer books.

Why is the departure prayer read? At the moment of death, a person experiences a painful feeling of fear and longing. According to the testimony of the holy fathers, a person is afraid when the soul is separated from the body and during the first three days outside the body. When leaving the body, the soul is greeted by both the Guardian Angel given to it at Holy Baptism and the spirits of evil (demons). The sight of the latter is so terrible that the soul rushes and trembles at the sight of them.

The canon, read by relatives or friends over a dying person, is intended to make it easier for his soul to leave the body.

Relatives and friends of the dying person need to gather courage so that, after saying goodbye to their loved one, try to alleviate not so much physical, but mental suffering with prayer.

Burial rite

Washing and dressing the deceased. Not a single nation left the bodies of their dead without care, and burial was always accompanied by appropriate rites. Washing and dressing the deceased. Not a single nation left the bodies of their dead without care, and burial was always accompanied by appropriate rites.

The Holy Faith of Christ teaches us to look with reverence at a Christian man even when he has completed his earthly path. A dead Christian is a prey to death, a victim of corruption, but he is still a member of the Body of Christ (see: 1 Cor. 12:27). His body is sanctified by the communion of the Divine Body and Blood of Christ the Savior. Is it possible to despise the Holy Spirit, whose temple was the deceased? Sooner or later, the dead and corruptible body of a Christian will come to life again and will be clothed with incorruptibility and immortality (see I Cor. 15:53). Therefore, our Orthodox Church does not leave her child without maternal care even when she has passed from this world to the distant and unknown land of eternity.

Rites performed by the Holy Church upon death Orthodox Christian, have a deep meaning. Based on the inspirations of the holy faith, they originate from the divinely enlightened apostles and the first Christians. The body of the deceased is washed immediately after death, and the washing should extend to all parts of the body, starting with the head. It is performed as a sign of the spiritual purity and integrity of the life of the deceased, and also so that he can appear in purity before the Lord, but at the Resurrection. When the body is washed, the “Trisagion” is read: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us” or "Lord, have mercy." A lamp or candle is lit in the house and burns as long as the deceased is there. Water for washing the body should be warm, but not hot, so as not to steam it. In this case, you need to use soap and a soft cloth (or sponge). Usually older people perform the ablution, and if such a person is not available, then a woman can also wash. After the ablution, the body of a Christian is dressed in new and clean clothes. New clothes seem to indicate a new garment of our incorruptibility and immortality. If a person did not have a cross, then they must wear a cross.

The deceased's lips should be closed, his eyes closed, his hands folded crosswise on his chest, the right one on top of the left. A Christian woman's head is covered with a large scarf that completely covers her hair. Moreover, its ends can not be tied, but simply folded crosswise. You should not put a tie on a deceased Orthodox Christian. IN left hand the deceased is enclosed with an icon (or cross), for men - an image of the Savior, for women - an image Mother of God, you can put a cross in your left hand, and a holy image on the chest of the deceased. This is done as a sign that the deceased believed in Christ and surrendered his soul to Him, that in life he foresaw (always had) the Lord before him, and now moves on to the blissful contemplation of Him with the saints.

Before placing the body of the deceased in the coffin, holy water is sprinkled on both the body and its ark (coffin), outside and inside. You can also cover the coffin with incense. A whisk is placed on the forehead of the deceased. It is given in the church when the deceased is brought for the funeral service. A deceased Christian is decorated with a crown as a symbol of the reward of the Kingdom of Heaven for the hardships of earthly life. The aureole depicts the Lord Jesus Christ, the Most Pure Mother of God and John the Baptist with the inscription “Trisagion”. This shows that the one who has completed his earthly journey hopes to receive a crown for his exploits (see: 2 Tim. 4, 7, 8) only through mercy: the Triune God and the intercession of the Mother of God and the Forerunner and Baptist of the Lord John.

A pillow is placed under the shoulders and head of the deceased, which is usually filled consecrated willow or birch leaves from the holiday of Trinity. The body is covered with a sheet.

The coffin with the body is placed in the middle of the room in front of the home icons (in the front corner), facing the exit. Candles are lit around the coffin (or at least one near the head) as a sign that the deceased has passed into the Kingdom of Light.

How to pray for a person in the first days after his death. After the body of the deceased is washed and dressed, they begin to read the canon called “A Study on the Exodus of the Soul from the Body.” Regardless of where a person died, at home or outside, this canon is still read on the day of his death. The reading of the canon should begin with the opening prayers, then Psalm 90, then in order.

The canon is read “for the one who died,” that is, only for the person who died on that day. Therefore, when reading the chorus: “Rest, O Lord, to the soul of Thy departed servant (name of the deceased)”, one should not pronounce the names of other deceased acquaintances, relatives, etc.

At the end of the "Succession" there is a special prayer appeal to God with the pronunciation of the very name of the deceased: “Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your servant, our brother (name), who passed away...” After this prayer they read: “Eternal memory to Thy servant (Thy servant) (name), Lord.”

“Following” is read on behalf of the deceased with the purpose that God’s mercy, through our prayer for the deceased, will ease the soul’s bitterness at parting with the body and the first moment of the soul’s stay outside the body. Then, for three days, the Psalter is read over the deceased, which begins with the petition: “Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen". Next, the opening prayers and those that precede the psalms are read.

The Psalter is divided into twenty large parts - kathisma. Before each kathisma, the call to worship God is repeated three times: “Come, let us worship our King God. Come, let us worship and fall down before Christ, our King God. Come, let us worship and fall down before Christ Himself, our King and our God.”

After this call, the kathisma is read. At the end of several psalms, separated by the word “Glory,” it is said: “Alleluia! (three times) Glory to You, God! and the prayer request for the deceased from the “Succession” is repeated: “Remember, O Lord our God...” After this prayer, the reading of the psalms, 1st kathisma (or then 2nd, 3rd, etc.) continues. There are three “Glories” in each kathisma, therefore, three times during the reading of the kathisma there follows an appeal to God with a special petition for pardon of the deceased.

The Psalter is read continuously (day and night) over the Christian’s tomb for the entire time until the deceased is buried. Since the relatives of the deceased have a lot of worries in the first three days about organizing the funeral, they invite one of their friends or acquaintances to read the Psalter. Any pious layman can read the Psalter for the deceased.

It is no coincidence that since ancient times the Church has laid down the book of psalms to be read over the tomb of the deceased. The Psalter reproduces all the diverse movements of our soul, so vividly sympathizes with both our joy and our sorrow, sheds so much consolation and encouragement into our grieving heart. Reading the Psalter serves as a prayer to the Lord for the deceased and at the same time quenches the grief of his loved ones.

Carrying out the body. Shortly before the removal of the coffin from the house (or the release of the body in the morgue), “Sequence of the departure of the soul from the body” is read again. Removal of the body. Shortly before the coffin is taken out of the house (or the body is handed over to the morgue), “Sequence on the departure of the soul from the body” is read again.

The coffin is carried out, turning the face of the deceased towards the exit. When the body is carried out, the mourners sing a song in honor of the Holy Trinity: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us,” in commemoration of what the deceased confessed during his lifetime Life-giving Trinity and now passes into the kingdom of disembodied spirits surrounding the Throne of the Almighty and silently singing the Trisagion to Him. Church funeral service. In the temple, the coffin with the body of the deceased is placed in the middle of the church facing the altar and candlesticks are placed on four sides of the coffin. According to the teachings of the Church, the soul of a person on the third day after death, at a time when his body lies lifeless, goes through terrible ordeals and has a great need for the help of the Church. To facilitate its transition to another life, the canon and Psalter are read over the tomb of an Orthodox Christian, and The funeral service is being performed in the church.

The funeral service consists of chants in which the entire fate of man is briefly depicted for breaking the commandment; he again turns to the ground from which he was taken: “You yourself, the Creator and Creator of man, are the only immortal; and we are all earthly, created from the earth and will return to the same earth, as You, the Creator, commanded: “You are the earth and you will return to the earth.” That’s where all of us, earthlings, will go, shouting the song with funeral sobs: alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.”

But, despite the multitude of sins, man does not cease to be “the image of the glory of God,” and therefore the Holy Church prays to the Master and Lord, by His ineffable mercy, to forgive the deceased’s sins and to honor him with the Kingdom of Heaven.

“With the saints, O Christ, rest the soul of Your servant, where there is no illness, sorrow and suffering, but an eternally blessed life.”

After reading the Apostle (1 Thess. 4:13-17) and the Gospel of John (John 5:24-30), the priest reads a prayer of permission, testifying to the forgiveness of all the prohibitions and sins that were on the deceased, of which he repented (or at repentance could not remember), and the deceased is released in peace afterlife. A sheet with the text of this prayer is immediately placed in the right hand of the deceased by his relatives or friends.

The last kiss, or farewell to the deceased, is performed while singing touching stichera (prayers): “Come, brothers, let us give the last kiss to the deceased, giving blessings to God...”

Relatives and friends of the deceased walk around the coffin with the body, bowing and asking forgiveness for involuntary insults, last time kiss the deceased (the crown on his head or the icon in the coffin). After this, the body is completely covered with a sheet, and the priest sprinkles it with earth (or clean river sand) in a cross shape with the words: “The Lord’s earth and its fulfillment (everything that fills it), the universe and all who live on it.” The coffin is closed with a lid. If the relatives of the deceased want to say goodbye to him in the cemetery, then the coffin is not nailed down in the church, but the priest blesses one of the relatives to sprinkle the body with earth immediately before burial.

When the coffin with the body is carried out of the temple, feet first, the angelic song “Trisagion” is sung.

Funeral service in absentia. In the event that it is not possible to perform a funeral service for the deceased in a church, an absentee funeral service is performed for him. Relatives of the deceased, as a rule, order a funeral service at the nearest church. After the funeral service, the relatives are given a chaplet, a prayer of permission and soil from the funeral table. At home, a prayer of permission is placed in the right hand of the deceased, a whisk is placed on the forehead, and after saying goodbye to him. in the cemetery, his body, covered with a sheet from head to toe, is sprinkled with sand in a cross shape, from head to feet, from right shoulder to left, to make a regular shaped cross.

If the funeral service in absentia takes place some time after the funeral, the burial soil should be scattered over the grave, and the aureole and prayer should be buried in the grave mound to a shallow depth. If the grave is very far away or in an unknown place, then the aureole and prayer are burned, and the earth is scattered on any grave on which an Orthodox cross is installed.

The funeral service, like Baptism, is performed once. But if it is impossible to truly establish whether a person has been buried, you need, without embarrassment, to order a funeral service in absentia, and the sooner the better. Burial. In the grave of the deceased, they place a lip to the east for the same purpose for which we pray to the east - in anticipation of the coming of the Morning of Eternity, or the Second Coming of Christ, and as a sign that the deceased is moving away from the west of life towards the east of eternity.

When lowering the coffin with the body into the grave, the Trisagion is sung again. All those accompanying the deceased on his last journey before burying the grave throw a handful of earth into it. Thus, the deceased is given over to the earth as a sign of submission to the Divine determination. The earth is, and to the earth you will go (Genesis 3:19).

The cross, a symbol of salvation, should rise above the grave of every Christian (it is placed at the feet). The deceased believed in the Crucified One and rests in the sleep of death under the shadow of the cross. An eight-pointed cross is placed, made of any material, but always of the correct shape. For the grave of an Orthodox Christian, a simple cross made of wood, concrete or metal is more suitable than expensive monuments made of granite and marble. It is unacceptable to place a photograph or portrait of the deceased on a tombstone. If relatives want to write an epitaph, then it is best, according to tradition, to use words from the Holy Scriptures or from well-known prayers, and not phrases invented by themselves.

Cremation. The custom of burning bodies, so popular now in Russia due to its relative cheapness, came to us from the pagan East. The Orthodox Church disapproves of cremation and allows it only under special circumstances - lack of space in cemeteries or extreme scarcity of funds for burial.

Cremation is not approved by the Church primarily because for those who burn their loved ones, this action is not edifying: it instills despair in the soul rather than hope for resurrection. The posthumous fate of each deceased is in the hands of God and does not depend on the method of burial.

All funeral prayers, including the funeral service, are performed over the cremated person without changes. Before burning the body, the icon or Crucifix must be removed from the coffin, but the aureole and the sheet with the prayer of permission must be left. If the urn with ashes is subsequently buried in a grave, the Trisagion must be read. All funeral prayers, including the funeral service, are performed over the person being cremated without changes. Before burning the body, the icon or Crucifix must be removed from the coffin, but the aureole and the sheet with the prayer of permission must be left. If the urn with ashes is subsequently buried in the grave, the Trisagion must be read.

Commemoration of the dead

Special days of remembrance of the dead. The Holy Church constantly prays for all “our departed fathers and brothers,” but she also performs a special prayerful commemoration for each deceased, if there is our pious desire and need. Such commemoration is called private, it includes thirds, nineties, and fortieth anniversary. The commemoration of the dead on the third day after death is an apostolic tradition. It is accomplished because the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the One God in the Trinity. In addition to the theological significance of commemorating the deceased on the third day, it also has a mysterious meaning concerning the afterlife state of the soul. Special days for commemorating the dead. The Holy Church constantly prays for all “our departed fathers and brothers,” but she also performs a special prayerful commemoration for each deceased, if there is our pious desire and need. Such commemoration is called private; it includes thirds, nineties, and 40th anniversaries. The commemoration of the dead on the third day after death is an apostolic tradition. It is accomplished because the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the One God in the Trinity. In addition to the theological significance of commemorating the deceased on the third day, it also has a mysterious meaning concerning the afterlife state of the soul.

For the first two days, the soul still remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, visits those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, deeds of good and evil. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to Heaven to worship Himself.

For six days, from the third to the ninth, the soul, returning from the Face of God, accompanied by Angels, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. After the second worship of God, the Angels take the soul to hell, where it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of the Lord, where its fate is decided - the place it has been awarded for its deeds is assigned.

That is why we should offer especially intense prayers for the dead on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death. But these terms also have another meaning. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and the image Holy Trinity. The prayer on the ninth day is a rendering of honor to the nine angelic ranks, who, as servants of the Heavenly King, petition for pardon for the deceased.

The days of mourning for the dead in ancient times lasted forty days. According to the establishment of the Holy Church, it is necessary to perform commemoration for the departed for forty days (Sorokoust) and especially on the fortieth day (Sorochin). Just as Christ defeated the devil, spending forty days in fasting and prayer, so the Holy Church offers prayers, alms and bloodless sacrifices for the deceased, asks the Lord for grace, helps him defeat the enemy, the airy prince of darkness, and receive the Kingdom of Heaven.

What can we do for loved ones within forty days after their death? As soon as a person has died, it is necessary to immediately take care of the magpie, i.e. daily commemoration during the Divine Liturgy. If possible, it is good to order forty dinners and even in several churches.

If a person’s death occurred during Lent, then memorial services are ordered on Wednesday and Friday of each week, and masses for the repose of the soul of the deceased are ordered on Saturdays and Sundays. Sorokoust is not ordered during Lent, since the Divine Liturgy does not occur every day.

During Easter week(the first week after Easter) no funeral services are served, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for believers in the Resurrection of our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire week, neither masses for the dead nor memorial services are ordered. Only from Tuesday of St. Thomas Week (the second week of Easter) do churches begin to accept orders for magpies and masses of repose. This day is called Radonia (see about it in the section “Private parenting days».

The day of a Christian's death is his birthday for a new one, better life. Therefore, we celebrate the memory of our loved ones after a year has passed from the day of their death, begging the mercy of God to have mercy on their souls and to grant them the coveted fatherland as an eternal inheritance.

On the third, ninth and fortieth days, as well as on the anniversary of death, a mass must be ordered in the church for the repose of the deceased. At home on these days, his relatives and friends gather for a meal in order to jointly pray for him to ask the Lord for forgiveness of sins and the repose of his soul in the Kingdom of Heaven. It is also good to send a donation to monasteries so that they can pray forever for the repose of the soul of the deceased. The deceased should also be remembered on the days of their earthly birth, on their name days (the day of remembrance of the saint whose name they bore). On the days of their memory, you need to order a mass in church for their repose, a memorial service, pray for them at home, and remember them at your meal.

Why and how our prayers can be beneficial for the dead. Some souls, after forty days, find themselves in a state of anticipation of eternal joy and bliss, while others tremble in anticipation eternal torment, which will intensify after Last Judgment(The second coming of the Lord, when He will judge all the living and the dead). But before that, changes for the better are possible in the “afterlife” fate of the soul, especially thanks to offering prayers to the Church for it and doing good deeds in memory of the deceased.”

The benefits of prayer, both public and private (at home), for souls, even those in hell, are written in the lives of saints and ascetics, and in patristic traditions.

Our prayers can act directly on the souls of the dead only if they died in the right faith and with true repentance, being in communion with the Church and with the Lord Jesus. Then, despite the apparent distance from us, they continue to belong to the Church with us: to the same Body of Christ (see: Eph. 1:23; Col. 1:18). Those who died in right faith and true repentance transferred to another world the beginning of good or the seed of a new life, which they themselves did not manage to reveal here. But under the influence of our ideas, with the blessing of God, it can little by little develop and bear fruit.

Nowadays, many people, even being baptized, do not go to church, do not confess, do not partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, or do this extremely rarely. For them, as well as for all those who died suddenly and did not have time to properly prepare for their death, the canon is read to St. Paisius the Great, a saint to whom the Lord gave special grace to intercede for those who died without repentance.

How to pray on Memorial Day

The meaning of the 17th Kathisma. During the entire forty days after the death of a person, his family and friends must read the Psalter. How many kathismas per day depends on the time and energy of the readers, but reading must certainly be daily. After reading the entire Psalter, it is read first. You just shouldn’t forget after each “Glory...” reading the prayer petition for the remembrance of the deceased (from “The Sequence of the Exodus of the Soul from the Body”). The meaning of the 17th kathisma. During the entire forty days after the death of a person, his family and friends must read the Psalter. How many kathismas per day depends on the time and energy of the readers, but reading must certainly be daily. After reading the entire Psalter, it is read first. You just shouldn’t forget after each “Glory...” reading the prayer request for the remembrance of the deceased (from “Following the departure of the soul from the body”).

Many relatives and friends of the deceased, citing various circumstances, entrust this reading to others (readers) for a fee or order it from monasteries (the so-called “indestructible Psalter”). Of course, God hears such a prayer. But it will be stronger, more sincere, purer if a relative or close person to the deceased himself asks God for mercy on the deceased. And you shouldn’t waste any effort or time on this.

On the third, ninth and fortieth days, a special kathisma should be read for the deceased (it includes the 118th psalm). It is called a memorial service, and in liturgical books it is called “Immaculate” (according to the word found in its first verse: “Blessed are the blameless on the way, walking in the law of the Lord”).

The Jews had a custom during the Passover Supper and at the end of it to sing psalms and mainly Psalm 118, dedicated to their exodus from Egypt. According to legend, Christ and his disciples left the house where the Last Supper, while singing the psalm, apparently precisely the 118th: “And having sung, they went to the Mount of Olives.”

With the verse “Blessed is this, O Lord, teach me by Thy justification,” the Lord buried Himself as He went to suffering and death. This verse is always sung by the Church at the burial of the dead, and kathisma is read on days of special commemoration. This kathisma depicts the bliss of those who walked in the Law of the Lord (that is, the bliss of righteous people who tried to live according to the commandments of God).

At home it is read just like any other.

The verses of the kathisma: 1, 2, 12, 22, 25, 29, 37, 58, 66,73, 88 are read with the refrain: “Remember, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant (Thy servant).”

The final verses of the first half of the kathisma (92, 93): “If it were not for Your law that was my consolation, I would have perished in my misfortune. I will never forget Your commandments, for through them You revive me,” they sing three times. After this, the chorus is repeated again.

In the second part of the kathisma (after the word “Wednesday”) the verses: 94, 107, 114, 121, 131, 132, 133, 142, 153, 159, 163, 170 are read with the refrain: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant ( Thy servants)." In conclusion, the final verses of Psalm 118 (175, 176) are sung three times: “Let my soul live and glorify You, and let Your judgments help me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep: seek Thy servant, for I have not forgotten Thy commandments.” After them, the chorus is repeated once again with a request to rest the soul of the one for whom they are praying.

After “Glory...” a prayer request is read.

After the kathisma, the prescribed troparia are read (they are immediately indicated after the 118th psalm in the prayer book), and after them - the 50th psalm and the troparia immaculate, or troparia for the repose (8 in number) with a refrain for each verse from the 118th psalm: “ Blessed art thou, O Lord, teach me by Thy justification.”

After these troparions, the canon “Following the departure of the soul from the body” is read.

It should be noted that in the church during the requiem service the 17th kathisma is divided into two halves (articles) and it is read somewhat differently.

Days of special remembrance of all deceased Orthodox Christians

There was a custom among the Russian people to call the dead, their own and others, old and young, parents. The expression “to go to parents” meant visiting the graves of the dead. Among the Russian people there was a custom to call the dead, their own and others, old and young, parents. The expression “to visit one’s parents” meant visiting the graves of the dead.

Representation of all deceased persons by “parents”, i.e. already belonging to the family of the fathers to whom they went, arouses in us reverence for their memory. On some days, especially Saturdays, a universal commemoration of the dead is performed. These days are called parental Saturdays.

It is on Saturday that one is supposed to pray for the dead because it is so established by the Holy Orthodox Church: on every Saturday of the week, on the day of rest, to remember deceased relatives and friends.

How to remember? In every “Orthodox prayer book” at the end morning prayers prayers for the living and the dead are included. Let us not be too lazy to read this small commemoration for our deceased relatives, naming their names, adding to them a prayer request from “Following the departure of the soul from the body.”

The days of special (special) remembrance of the dead are the five ecumenical Saturdays.

Meat-eating parent universal Saturday celebrated two weeks before Lent. On this day the Holy Church prays for all Orthodox Christians, including the dead sudden death during a flood, earthquake, war, etc.

Instead of daily commemoration of the dead during the Divine Liturgy, which does not happen during Lent. The Holy Church has decided to carry out intensified commemoration on the next three days, the second, third and fourth Saturdays of Great Lent.

Trinity Ecumenical parent's Saturday celebrated before the day of the Holy Trinity (on the 49th day after Easter). On this day, the memory of all deceased pious Christians is celebrated.

Private parent days. Tuesday of St. Thomas week. The week is called Thomas because the Apostle Thomas is remembered on it. This day itself, when the living rush to the cemetery to greet their dead parents with the joyful news of the Resurrection of the Lord, is usually called Radonia. The living commemorate Christ with the dead, communing with themselves at their graves painted eggs. This is the ninth day after Easter (Tuesday of the second week after Easter).

September 11 (according to the present day), the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist (presumed strict fast), commemoration of Orthodox soldiers is performed, killed for faith and fatherland on the battlefield.

This commemoration was established in the Russian Church under Empress Catherine II (by decree of 1769), during the war with the Turks.

Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday takes place a week before November 8 (according to the current style; the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki). It was installed by Grand Duke Dmitry Ivanovich Donskoy. Having won the famous victory on the Kulikovo field on September 8 (21, 2010), Prince Dmitry Donskoy commemorated the fallen soldiers before the day of his Angel.

Subsequently, on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist and on Demetrius Saturday, they began to commemorate not only Orthodox soldiers, but also all the deceased.

Finally, by the decision of the Bishops' Council of the Russian Orthodox Church 1994 Victory Day in the Great Patriotic War (May 9) became the day of special annual commemoration of the deceased soldiers who laid down their lives for the faith, Fatherland and people, and all who died sufferingly during the Great Patriotic War. On these days, order a mass or commemoration for your loved ones at proskomedia (translated from Greek as offering). This is a piece of paper with the heading “On Repose”, which lists the names of the deceased (baptized and those who did not commit suicide).

On such days, it is good to visit the graves of the dead, pray in church during a memorial service for their repose, and read the 17th Kathisma at home. Don't forget to remember the dead during your meal. It is very important to include your children in the commemoration of deceased loved ones. If they are small, take out an album with photographs and, together with your children, remember the deceased grandfather, grandmother, and other relatives. tell us about them. Teach your children at least short prayer turn to God: “O Lord, give rest to the souls of your departed servants, all our relatives and friends, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.”

When there is no remembrance of the dead. Memorial services, funeral services in absentia and any funeral prayers, except for commemoration with notes on the proskomedia, are not performed in churches from Thursday Holy Week (last week before Easter) until Antipascha (the first Sunday after Easter). In-person funeral services are allowed on these days, except for Easter itself. The rite of the Easter funeral service differs from the ordinary one in that it contains many joyful chants.

On the Nativity of Christ and other twelve holidays, the funeral prayer is canceled by the Charter, but can be performed at the discretion of the rector of the temple.

Funeral meal

The pious custom of remembering the dead at meals has been known for a very long time. It was described by the prophet Jeremiah, from which it is clear that the ancient Jews had the custom of breaking bread for them as a consolation for the deceased (Jer. 16:7). The pious custom of remembering the dead at meals has been known for a very long time. It was described by the prophet Jeremiah, from which it is clear that the ancient Jews had the custom of breaking bread for them as a consolation for the deceased (Jer. 16:7).

But how exactly to remember deceased relatives and friends at the dinner table? Unfortunately, funerals often turn into just an excuse to get together and discuss latest news, eat deliciously, while Orthodox Christians should pray for their brothers in faith even at the funeral meal.

This chapter summarizes the experience of people living an Orthodox life, disparate advice and wishes are brought together.

During Lent, if the funeral service (third, ninth, fortieth day, anniversary) falls on the first, fourth and seventh week, the relatives and friends of the deceased do not invite anyone. These weeks are especially strict. Let only those closest to you be at the table: mother or father, wife or spouse, children or grandchildren.

If memorial days fall on weekdays of other weeks of Lent, they are transferred to the next (upcoming) Saturday or Sunday. This commemoration is called counter. This is done because the holidays of Great Lent are Saturdays and Sundays, when the Divine Liturgy is celebrated.

In the first eight days after Easter, prayers are not read for the departed, and memorial services are not performed for them. The Easter Canon is sung in the Church. The Holy Orthodox Church allows commemoration of the departed only from Tuesday of St. Thomas Week, Radonitsa, which was mentioned above. From this day on, in the church you can order a magpie, a mass, a proskomedia and a memorial service for the deceased. Privately, from Easter Day until Tuesday of St. Thomas Week, only the Paschal Canon is read for the deceased.

You should not remember the deceased at the table with vodka or other strong drinks. alcoholic drinks. Funerals are days of grief, days of intense prayer for the soul of the deceased, which may be in a very difficult time. So will it really be easier for the soul in that world if we revel in wine here?

The memorial meal, which is arranged by the relatives and friends of the deceased, is a kind of alms for everyone who is present at it. This is where the owners want to treat those who come to something more delicious and satisfying. But at the same time you need to observe fast days. established by the Holy Church. The dead are remembered with the food that is provided on the day of the funeral: on Wednesday, Friday, and on days of long fasts and fasting in a meat-eating meathouse.

Before the funeral meal, the 17th kathisma or rite of litia is read, performed by a layman. Prayers are read in front of holy icons with a lit lamp or candle. At this time, a petition to have mercy on the deceased should be heard with particular force.

Immediately before eating, the Lord's Prayer is read. The first dish, which by right of kinship and closeness to the deceased is first tasted by his closest relatives and friends, is kutia. These are boiled wheat (rice) grains mixed with honey (raisins). Grains serve as a symbol of the Resurrection, and honey (or raisins) are a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of Heaven, Kutya: consecrated in the temple during a memorial service. Then everyone present tastes it. They serve it. According to custom, on the third, ninth, pancakes and jelly are considered traditional funeral dishes in Rus'.

After eating, prayers of thanks are read: “We thank You, Christ our God...”, “It is worthy to eat...”.

But the most important thing is a prayer for the repose and pardon of the soul of a deceased person. Even if it happens that there is nothing left in the house except water and crackers, the commemoration will not be any worse. If there is no prayer book in the house, then we will read those prayers that we know from memory, we will turn to God in our own words, as long as sighing for the souls of the dead comes from our hearts.

During a wake, it is customary to leave a place, a plate, a dinner set, or some dishes in the name of the deceased; this is a very ancient custom.

During funerals, there is another custom of covering the mirrors in the house with cloth. This is done out of a sense of piety, so that nothing unnecessary dispels grief and sadness for the deceased.

Christian invited to a funeral loved one to an unbelieving family, it is better not to decline the invitation. Since love is higher than fasting, you need to be guided by the words of the Savior: Eat what is offered to you (Luke 10:8), but observe moderation in food and conversation.

What you need to know about burial

(Main errors affecting the afterlife fate of the dead) (Main errors affecting the afterlife fate of the dead)

It is necessary to draw the attention of the Orthodox to certain important features, supplementing the knowledge of believers about the burial rite and the remembrance of the dead.

The custom of commemorating the dead on Easter in the cemetery is secular. Before Radonitsa, the Church does not openly pray for the dead, only secretly, at proskomedia.

You cannot leave a dead person in a church for more than one day: a church is not a morgue.

You cannot make a modest funeral table during fasting and on Wednesdays and Fridays, and also on these days you cannot bring a modest funeral table to church on the eve. Under no circumstances should you remember the dead with vodka, as this causes them great torment.

You can place and light candles on the grave of the deceased only in front of a cross or icon, but not in front of a monument. In general, installing monuments on a grave is not an Orthodox custom; the deceased themselves are close and say that they placed a weight (monument stone) on the grave, and the wreaths are like clamps. You cannot interfere with the photograph of the deceased on the tombstone, and especially on the Holy Cross.

You cannot perform funeral services, as well as perform any church commemorations, for unbaptized people, as well as for those of other faiths. You can give alms for them without mentioning their name.

The Church does not pray for a person who intentionally commits suicide. But if the suicide was under the supervision of a doctor before his death and committed this act in an insane state, then you need to bring a certificate of his illness. Alms can be given, but without naming the name of the suicide. God knows and sees for whom such a sacrifice is made.

It is very good to give spiritual alms for the deceased (especially spiritual books). Spiritual alms are as much more valuable than physical alms in the eyes of God as the soul is more valuable than the body. In any difficult cases, it is necessary to contact the priests or the diocesan administration.

God has everyone alive

God has no dead, but all are alive. The Savior Himself speaks about this. Have you not read what God said to you: I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not God of the dead) but alive (Matthew 22:31-32). Many of us, “philosophizing” about the objects of faith and about the afterlife of the dead, forget or shy away from actually helping our departed. Many are completely unaware of or refuse the Orthodox burial rite and at the same time willingly resort to various pagan cult actions and rituals (abundant feasts - funeral feasts, marble tombstones, wreaths, etc.). God has no dead, but everyone is alive . The Savior Himself speaks about this. Have you not read what God said to you: I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead) but of the living (Matthew 22:31-32). Many of us, “philosophizing” about the objects of faith and about the afterlife of the dead, forget or shy away from actually helping our departed. Many are completely unaware of or refuse the Orthodox burial rite and at the same time willingly resort to various pagan cult actions and rituals (lavish feasts - funeral feasts, marble tombstones, wreaths, etc.).

Meanwhile, our deceased relatives and friends are waiting for help from us. They need her! From my priestly practice, I know many cases (according to the stories of parishioners) when the deceased appeared to their living relatives (in a dream) and directly expressed their needs, spoke about their errors during life or gave instructions, the Holy Fathers did not teach us about something. trust dreams, since most of us do not have the spiritual reasoning to determine the nature of a dream, i.e. Is he a reflection of those in his life? real events and experiences or a consequence of the movements of the flesh (passions, illnesses, etc.) is it the influence of the dark world of fallen spirits or, finally, is it truly spiritual communication with the afterlife, hidden for us until time. In any case, if the dream seemed significant, important, warning about something, you should first of all consult with your confessor, parish priest, or at least a spiritually experienced person.

I’ll tell you about several events that I remember related to the topic of our conversation. A fellow villager appeared in a dream to one of my parishioners. During his lifetime he was a convinced unbeliever, a persecutor of faith and the Church. She dreamed that this man stood near the ruins of the chapel, which had once been on the edge of the village, and said, pointing at them: “If earlier, during my life, I had at least occasionally looked at this holy place, if only once I held my gaze, now it would be easier for me.”

This is the power of the shrine! Even destroyed and desecrated...

My uncle in his youth and middle age was a believer, visited the temple of God, read Scripture. But, succumbing to the spirit of the times, he lost faith in God. Stopped going to church and removed holy icons from the house. Moreover, even in his thoughts he became an atheist, preaching atheism. Instead of prayers, he began to do gymnastics. But death came to him too. Being eighty years old, he is blind. On his deathbed, he tossed about, wheezed, trying to say something, and all the time he pointed with his hand to the holy corner where icons were supposed to hang (but did not hang. Something terrible surrounded him, was approaching, pressing, and there was no him defenders, intercessors, intercessors to God, for he himself once voluntarily abandoned them.

A relative of one of my parishioners died. He was not baptized. Driven by a feeling of compassion, this woman came to me and asked how to alleviate his fate after death. Church prayer for the unbaptized is unacceptable, so I advised her to give alms for the deceased, namely, soul-saving books: maybe someone, having read such a book, will accept the Sacrament of Baptism, change their life for the better, and this will be the most godly sacrifice for the unbaptized deceased. After some time, this woman came to me and told me that she had seen the deceased in a dream. He sat and read one of those books that she was handing out, which means the Lord accepted this sacrifice. Many people, even believers, have confused and distorted ideas about our duty towards the departed. They believe that it is necessary, first of all, to organize a magnificent wake with a hearty feast, overflowing with vodka and rare dishes, and then to erect an expensive monument on the grave so that acquaintances do not condemn them for stinginess. How mistaken these people are and, moreover, what harm they bring to their dear and beloved dead, relatives and loved ones. Think about the fact that vodka, drunk for the repose of souls and the deceased, flows like a stream onto that scale on which the burden of his sins already lies, and yet it is already so heavy! On the contrary, we need to make it easier. Like church prayer - mass, magpies. home prayer - reading the Psalter, almsgiving: There have been such cases in my service practice. One day a woman came up to me and told me that they had recently buried a relative of theirs and placed a granite monument on the grave. And then the deceased appears to her in a dream and complains that this heavy gravestone is very pressing and torments him. I explained to her that the grave is consecrated by a cross, preferably a wooden one. After all, the cross is the instrument of our salvation, our redemption. During life, we wear a cross on our chest, venerate the cross in the temple of God, make the sign of sign of the cross, and after death, our resting place should be consecrated with a cross, but not with a piece of granite or marble. Another parishioner of mine appeared in a dream, shortly after the funeral, a relative who said: “Everything is fine, but the clamps are really bothering me.” Clamps are wreaths with which we cover the graves of our dead. But this is a legacy of pagan rites; the Orthodox burial rite does not require this.

There was another case. Once I served a litiya for the deceased. After this, at night she appeared in a dream to her sister and thanked her. She said: “Until now, it was as if there was a stone lying on me, but now it has been removed.” This is the significance of lithium!

One day they invited me to perform prayers at home. This village, where I should have gone, was located five kilometers from our parish. I was able to get out only in the evening, it was already getting dark. Finished quite late, so I had to stay the night. At dawn I was awakened by a knock on the door. A young woman, a resident of this village, came. It was felt that she was in a state of great excitement. At first, when she saw me, she froze, as if shocked by something, then she quickly began to explain. And this is what happened. At night, her father-in-law, who had died several years ago, appeared to her in a dream and said: “A priest came to the village, he is located there and there (he named the place where I spent the night), go. ask him to perform the funeral service for me, otherwise I’m lying with you unsung.” The woman told me that at the time her father-in-law died, they did not have a priest, so they buried him without a funeral service. And what was especially surprising was that this woman saw her father-in-law only once - when he was already lying in a coffin; during his lifetime, she did not know him and never spoke to him. I must say that I don’t like to perform funeral services in absentia, but there was a special need here (God’s Providence for the deceased was seen), so we held funeral services for him on the same day.

One Friday on Bright Week, a woman catches up with me and says with tears: “Father, shouldn’t I sing the funeral service for my daughter again?” And the following happened: while this woman was away, a dead man was unauthorizedly buried in her daughter’s grave. The woman arrived home and on the first night she sees in a dream her daughter who died ten years ago, who tells her: “Mom, I myself am a sinner, but why did you put a drunkard in my grave?”

“Indeed, it later turned out that a woman was buried to death; drunk on vodka). In the morning, the mother rushed to the cemetery and was surprised to see a fresh grave. I explained to this woman that her daughter’s funeral service was not required a second time. but we must serve a memorial service. One ninety-year-old woman said that on the fortieth day after her death, a familiar psalm-reader appeared to her in a dream. During her life, she helped him with housework: she washed floors, dishes, and laundry. He said sadly: “Why do you pray so little, because for us there is no better help, : than reading the Psalter." One day a girl and her sister, a young woman, came to me to be baptized. After receiving Holy Baptism, they said that their dead husband appeared twice in a dream to their mother and said: “Christen the children.”

Archpriest Valentin (Morbasob)

From the answers of Rev. Valentina (Mordasova) to questions from parishioners

There is a belief that until the fortieth day nothing of the deceased’s belongings can be given away. Is this true?

This is a belief inspired by the devil. On the contrary, we must do good for the deceased. Donate to the monastery, to the church Cahors wine (for the Holy Mysteries), flour (for prosphora), wax (for candles), distribute from the belongings of the deceased, buy holy books(and distribute to the believers) before the fortieth day, and not after. When should you petition for a convicted person—before the trial or after the trial? So here, too, the soul goes through ordeals, judgment is carried out, it is necessary to intercede for it, pray and perform deeds of mercy, but people do not do this.

Is it possible to place a photograph of the deceased on a grave or grave cross? Do I need to take care of the grave? Is it possible to set up tables, benches and have meals?

It is under no circumstances acceptable to post a photograph. Pious believers place a case with an icon and a lamp. You are also not allowed to set up tables, benches, or have meals. This is a pagan custom. Believers remember the dead with prayer, some read the “Seraphim’s Rule.”

Is it possible to put a monument on a grave with a cross on it?

There should only be a cross on the grave.

There is a custom of lighting candles or lamps on the grave. Is this correct?

You can place candles on a grave provided that these candles burn in front of an icon, and not in front of a monument or photograph of the deceased.

Who and with whose blessing can use those left over from the eve? For whom are these products left?

This is the job of the priest who blesses. The bad thing is that we are busy in the temple “not with JESUS.. but. BIT."

Is it permissible to bring fast foods on the eve of fasting days?

Lenten ones are better.

Many people go to the cemetery on the first day of Easter. Is this custom correct?

This modern custom. Believers know that the commemoration of the dead begins after Antipascha. Nowadays there are such customs that there is no farewell to the deceased without vodka. And the popular proverb says: “Whoever remembers the dead with vodka prepares great torments for them.”

Is it necessary to leave the icon that was on the deceased during the funeral service in the church for forty days, and where should it be put then?

There is a custom that the icon remains in the temple until the fortieth day, and on the fortieth day (or after) is taken home. The icon is not placed in the coffin, Theophan the Recluse writes about this.

How often and when better days should you visit the graves of loved ones and what is advisable to do there? Is it possible to take dogs with you?

On the days of remembrance of the dead, if this does not distract from the temple, otherwise visit the graves on another day. Read kathisma or “Seraphim’s Rule” from the Psalter. Dogs are not allowed in the cemetery, especially in the fence where the temple is located.

Is it good to decorate the graves of loved ones?

Decorating the graves of the deceased does not bring any benefit to the deceased, and even causes harm to their souls.

What is more important on the day of remembrance of loved ones: visiting a cemetery or celebrating mass in Church?

Celebrate mass in the church more important than visiting relatives' graves.

What is most important when commemorating the dead: alms, memorial service, mass?

Everything is good and pleasant for the deceased, but if the deceased had little faith or died without a cross, then alms for him are better than prayer.

Is it good to invite a priest to serve a memorial service at a grave?

There was a case when, after a service at the grave, the deceased appeared to a relative and said: “Until now, it was as if there was a stone lying on me, but as soon as you served a litany for me, it was immediately as if a stone had been removed from me.”

I heard that those who died on Bright Week are honored with the Kingdom of Heaven. Is this true?

This is correct, but not for everyone. Those who wore the cross Lent received communion, repented, lived piously, he is truly worthy of a blessed life. And whoever did not have this will not receive it.

Can a priest, in the absence of a nearby church and the impossibility of transportation, perform a funeral service at home or must it be in a church?

Of course, it can, but the reason for bringing the deceased to the temple is to pray for him at the Liturgy.

Is it possible to place candles for repose behind the throne?

There is a special place for this - the eve, and it should be placed there.

Is it possible to remember in church those who died due to illness caused by drunkenness?

It is possible if they were Orthodox and believers and did not die from drunkenness itself (they did not drink themselves to death).

Very often, a lack of understanding of the meaning of Orthodox rituals and traditions leads to the fact that people, instead of helping the soul of a deceased loved one, begin to believe in all sorts of superstitions and observe customs that have nothing to do with Christianity. In this article we will tell you how to bury a person in accordance with Orthodox traditions.

PREPARATION FOR A FUNERAL

If the body of the deceased will be at home before the funeral

• The body is washed with warm water, while reading the “Trisagion” * or “Lord, have mercy.”
• After washing, the Christian’s body is dressed in clean and, if possible, new clothes.
• Then the body of the deceased is placed on the table and covered with a white blanket - a shroud.
• Before placing the deceased in the coffin, the body and coffin (outside and inside) are sprinkled with holy water.
• The deceased is placed face up in the coffin, with a pillow stuffed with straw or sawdust placed under the head.
• The eyes of the deceased should be closed, lips closed, hands folded crosswise, right hand on top of the left. The hands and feet of the deceased are tied (untied just before the body is brought into the temple).
• Must be worn by the deceased pectoral cross ik.
• Then the deceased is covered with a special consecrated veil (funeral veil) with an image of a cross, images of saints and prayer inscriptions (sold in a church shop).
• When the body of the deceased is washed and dressed, they immediately begin to read the canon called “The Sequence of the Exodus of the Soul from the Body”**. If it is not possible to invite a priest to the house, then the Sedition can be read by close relatives and acquaintances.***
• When the body is washed and dressed, a lamp or candle is also lit, which should burn as long as the deceased is in the house.
• A funeral cross is placed in the hands of the deceased, a holy icon is placed on the chest: for men - the image of the Savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God (it is better to buy in a church shop, where everything has already been consecrated).
• A chaplet is placed on the forehead of the deceased, which is a symbol of the deceased Christian’s observance of faith and his accomplishment of a Christian feat in life. The chaplet is laid in the hope that the one who has died in faith will receive a heavenly reward and an incorruptible crown from God upon resurrection.
• The coffin is usually placed in the middle of the room in front of household icons, with its head towards the images.
• It is advisable immediately after the death of a person to order in the temple or monastery Sorokoust **** - commemoration for Divine Liturgy within 40 days. (In churches where divine services are not performed daily, the deceased is remembered during 40 Divine Liturgies (see link 5). If desired and possible, you can submit notes with the name of the deceased in several churches. It is advisable to do this before the funeral service and burial.

If a person died not at home, and his body is not in the house

• After all the formalities have been completed and the body has been taken to the morgue, you must begin to read the canon in the red corner in front of the icons, called “The Sequence of the Exodus of the Soul from the Body”**, and then read the Psalter for the deceased. If it is not possible to invite a priest to the house, then the Sedition can be read by close relatives and acquaintances.***
• The next day you need to take clean and, if possible, new clothes and other necessary things to the morgue (you can read more here “What to do when a person dies”), as well as a pectoral cross (if the deceased was not wearing one), a funeral cross in the hands and an icon: for men - the image of the Savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God (it is better to buy in a church shop where everything has already been consecrated).
• It is necessary to ask the morgue workers to prepare the body for the funeral, taking into account Orthodox traditions (usually morgue workers know them very well).
• On the very first day after death, it is imperative to take care of the church commemoration of the deceased. It is advisable to immediately order at the Sorokoust temple or monastery **** If desired and possible, you can submit notes with the name of the deceased in several churches. It is advisable to do this before the funeral service and burial. But you should not forget to order Sorokoust**** even after 40 days.

FUNERAL

• If the funeral starts from home , then an hour and a half before the coffin is taken out of the house, “Sequence on the Exodus of the Soul”*** is read again over the body of the deceased. If the ritual starts from the morgue , then you can read “Sequence on the Exodus of the Soul”*** before the start of the ritual in any place (in the temple, at the morgue).
• The coffin is carried out, turning the face of the deceased towards the exit, i.e. feet forward. The mourners sing the Trisagion*.
• By church rules, contrary to existing superstition, the coffin with the body should be carried, if possible, by close relatives and friends. An exception exists only for priests, who should not carry the coffin of a layman, no matter who he is. If a priest is present at the funeral, he walks in front of the coffin as a spiritual shepherd.
• The deceased is placed in the grave with his face facing east. As the coffin is lowered, the Trisagion* is sung again. All mourners throw a handful of earth into the grave. If possible, cremation should be avoided (Read more about this in the article “On the attitude of Orthodoxy to cremation and the possibility of the resurrection of bodies”).
• The gravestone cross is placed at the feet of the deceased, facing west so that the face of the deceased is directed towards the holy cross.
• You cannot invite an orchestra to the funeral of an Orthodox Christian..
• The burial should not take place on the day of Holy Easter and on the day of the Nativity of Christ.

FUNERAL SERVICE

• On the third day after death (in practice, due to various circumstances, it can be any other day), the deceased Orthodox Christian is awarded a church funeral service and burial. This rite is not performed only on the day of Holy Easter and on the day of the Nativity of Christ.
• The funeral service is performed for the deceased only once, unlike funeral services (see link 6) and lithium (see link 7), which can be done multiple times.
• The funeral service is not performed at the burial of the unbaptized (i.e., those who do not belong to the Church), heterodox (people of non-Orthodox faith).
• The Church also does not perform funeral services for those who are baptized but have renounced the faith. In this case, relatives and friends themselves should pray for them in home prayers, give alms for them, (More about this in the article “How to make a “bank transfer” to the next world to help the soul of a loved one”) repent in confession that they did not contribute to their conversion to faith.
• The Church does not perform funeral services for suicides, with the exception of special occasions(for example, in case of insanity of someone who committed suicide), but even then only with the blessing of the ruling bishop (see link 8).
• For the funeral service, the coffin with the body of the deceased is brought into the temple feet first and placed facing the altar, i.e. feet to the east, head to the west.
• When performing the funeral service, relatives and friends should stand at the coffin with lighted candles and pray intensely with the priest for the soul of the deceased.
• After the proclamation of “Eternal Memory,” the priest reads a prayer of permission over the deceased. This prayer forgives the deceased’s oaths and sins, which he repented of in confession (or forgot to repent due to forgetfulness or ignorance). But those sins for which he did not intentionally repent (or did not repent at all in confession) are not forgiven by the prayer of permission. The text of the prayer of permission is placed by the priest in the hands of the deceased.
• After this, the mourners, having extinguished the candles, walk around the coffin with the body, ask the deceased for forgiveness, kiss the aureole on the forehead and the icon on the chest. The body is completely covered with a veil, the priest sprinkles it with earth in a cross shape. After this, the coffin is covered with a lid and cannot be opened again.
• With the singing of the Trisagion* the coffin is carried out of the temple facing the exit (feet first).
• If it is not possible to bring the body of the deceased to the church, and it is also not possible to invite a priest to the house, then an absentee funeral service can be held in the church. After it, the relatives are given earth (sand) from the funeral table. This earth is sprinkled crosswise over the body of the deceased. If by this time the deceased has already been buried, then earth from the funeral table is sprinkled crosswise over his grave. (If the urn is buried in a columbarium, then in this case the consecrated earth is poured onto any grave of an Orthodox Christian, but it is not placed (scattered) in a cell of the columbarium).

WAKE

• After the funeral service in the church and the burial of the body in the cemetery, the relatives of the deceased arrange a memorial meal - this is a kind of Christian alms for those gathered.
• Such a meal can be held on the third day after death (funeral day), the ninth, fortieth days, six months and a year after death, on the birthday and day of the angel of the deceased (name day, name day).
• There should absolutely be no alcohol at the funeral table. Drinking alcohol at funerals harms the souls of deceased people. This is an echo of pagan funeral feasts.
• If the funeral takes place on fast days (see link 9), then the food should be lean.
• On weekdays during Great Lent, funeral services are not held, but are postponed to the next (forward) Saturday and Sunday. This is done because only on Saturday and Sunday are the Divine Liturgies of St. John Chrysostom and St. Basil the Great performed, and during the proskomedia, particles are taken out for the deceased, and memorial services are also performed.
• Memorial days falling on Bright Week (see link 10) and on Monday of the second Easter week they are transferred to Radonitsa. (see link 11)
• It is important on the days of remembrance of the dead and for 40 days to intensively distribute alms to the poor and needy in the name of the soul of the deceased. It is also good to distribute the deceased's belongings to those in need. But even after 40 days have passed, you should not stop this godly work, which greatly helps the soul of the deceased.

You can read more about the meaning and meaning of funerals in interview"Merry wake or How we harm the souls of the dead."

1. Full text of this prayer: Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.

2. “Following the departure of the soul from the body”. A special prayer, which is usually read immediately after death, is intended for such exceptional case. The service has an exceptional structure, different from a memorial service.

If death occurred within eight days from Easter to Tuesday of St. Thomas Week (Radonitsa), then in addition to “Following the Exodus of the Soul,” the Easter Canon is read. In the Orthodox Church there is a pious custom of continuous reading of the Psalter for the deceased until his burial. The Psalter is read further on days of remembrance, and especially intensively in the first 40 days after death. During Easter week (eight days from Easter to Radonitsa) reading in the Church Psalms replaced by reading Easter Canon. At home over the deceased, the reading of the Psalter can also be replaced Easter canon. But if this is not possible, then you can read the Psalter.

3. Following the departure of the soul from the body Not only priests, but also laity can read. It exists for reading by the laity.

4. Sorokoust- daily prayerful commemoration at the Divine Liturgy for 40 days. In churches where divine services are not celebrated daily, the deceased is remembered during 40 Divine Liturgies.

5. Liturgy(Greek λειτουργία, “service”, “common cause”)- the most important Christian service among Orthodox, Catholics and some other churches, in which the sacrament of the Eucharist is celebrated. Liturgy is a prototype of the Last Supper.

It is performed in large churches every day, in most others - every Sunday. The Liturgy usually begins at 7-10 o'clock in the morning; in churches where there is more than one altar, an early liturgy can also be celebrated.

6. Memorial service- a funeral service established by the Church, which consists of prayers in which those praying trust in God’s mercy, asking for forgiveness of the sins of the deceased and the granting of blissful eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. During the service of memorial services, the gathered relatives and acquaintances of the deceased stand with lit candles as a sign that they also believe in a bright future life; at the end of the requiem service (during the reading of the Lord's Prayer), these candles are extinguished as a sign that our earthly life, burning like a candle, must go out, most often before it burns out to the end we envision. It is customary to perform memorial services both before the burial of the deceased and after - on the 3rd, 9th, 40th day after death, on his birthday, namesake (name day), on the anniversary of death. But it is very good to pray at a memorial service, and also to submit notes for remembrance on other days. This greatly helps the souls of the departed and comforts those praying. In churches, memorial services are usually served on Saturday after the Liturgy.

7. Lithium(from the Greek “zealous prayer”) - in Orthodox worship Part all-night vigil. Nowadays the lithium, in addition to the pre-holiday all-night vigils, is celebrated in cases of public disasters or when remembering them, usually outside the church, combined with a prayer service, and sometimes with a procession of the cross.

A special kind of litia is established for prayer for the deceased, performed when taking him out of the house, and also, at the request of his relatives, during church commemoration of him at any other time in another place. Litiya can be read not only by priests, but also by laity. (). It is very good to read the lithium and pray when visiting a cemetery.

8. Funeral service for suicides is carried out only with the blessing (permission) of the ruling bishop (bishop). In order to receive this blessing, after suicide it is necessary to urgently contact the diocesan administration (in regional center) with a request to allow the funeral service (and church commemoration). To do this, you must submit to the diocesan administration necessary documents(certificates from a psychoneurological dispensary, drug dispensary, hospital, clinic, etc.) and evidence (from a psychologist, psychiatrist, neighbors, teachers, etc.) that could explain the suicide by insanity, mental illness suicides, affect during suicide, and other mitigating factors. You should also contact the bishop if there are doubts that the deceased committed suicide himself (for example, it could have been an accident, death due to negligence, etc. But relatives know that if the suicide committed suicide in the absence of factors that the Church recognizes as mitigating, then You shouldn’t try to get the bishop’s blessing through deception and manipulation. After all, even if the bishop, misled, gives permission, then God cannot be deceived. He knows exactly what was in the heart of the suicide and those people who misled the hierarchy. In this case, do not deceive, but pray intensely, perform acts of mercy for the suicide, give alms for him, fast, and also do everything that can bring comfort to his soul.

9. Fast days are the days of fasting, as well as Wednesdays and Fridays. Fasting is the abstinence of the body from food of animal origin, as well as from oversaturation and pleasure. lean food(it must be taken into account that fasting days vary in the severity of fasting. Information about the severity of fasting can be obtained from Church calendar. Fasting is a time for the soul to abstain from evil thoughts, deeds and words; a time of deep repentance and sobriety. Fasting is a means of combating passions and acquiring virtues.

10. Bright Week The 7 days of celebration of Holy Easter are called - from Easter proper to St. Thomas Week. During Bright Week, fasting on Wednesday and Friday is canceled, as well as prostrations. Morning and evening prayers are replaced by the singing of the Easter Hours.

11. Radonitsa- a day specially established by the Church to commemorate the dead, which takes place on the 9th day after Easter, on Tuesday of St. Thomas Week, which follows Bright Week. The day was established so that believers could share the joy of Easter with the souls of relatives and friends who died in the hope of the Resurrection and Eternal Life. On Radonitsa, unlike days Holy Week, it is customary to visit cemeteries where loved ones are buried, clean the graves (but do not have a meal in the cemetery) and pray.

The following publications were used in the preparation of this material:

1. “On the path of all the earth. Funeral service, burial and commemoration of the dead”, edition Sretensky Monastery Moscow.
2. « The last journey all the earth. Questions and answers about the burial rite”, publication of the Danilov Monastery in Moscow.
3. “Orthodox Commemoration of the Dead” edited by Melnikov V.G.
4. “How can we help the dead? The doctrine of posthumous fate. Orthodox rite burials. Prayers for repose”, society publication

span style=”text-decoration: underline;”You can read more about the meaning and meaning of the wake in

We are so accustomed to the fact that funerals take place on the third day that the slightest change in this custom raises many questions. But research into this issue leads us to unexpected conclusions.

Of course, we do not have church or state regulations that would regulate the order and timing of funerals. There is no such regulation in general Christian institutions. Therefore, we can use the available indications of death in chronicles and other sources. We can glean some information from the memoirs of Western travelers who described the customs of the Muscovites. But even if the day of death is indicated, only in a few cases do we have information about the time of the funeral itself. For the period XI-XVII centuries. there are just over forty of them. The appearance of this date was associated with some delay in the funeral due to the movement of the body, unrest, or other circumstances. Sometimes the date of the funeral was highlighted to add more detail to the narrative. But even from very limited material certain conclusions can be drawn. In most cases, the funeral took place shortly after the time of death, within a day, or the next day after death.

In other cases, the lengthening of time before burial is associated with the movement of the deceased to their burial place. Although there are other reasons for postponing the funeral. In 1473, the funeral of Prince Yuri Vasilyevich was postponed due to the absence of the grand ducal family in Moscow. Yuri Vasilyevich died on September 12, Saturday. The Grand Duke returned to Moscow on September 16, Wednesday. On the same day, immediately after the arrival of the Grand Duke, the burial took place. In 1175, the day after the murder, the body of Andrei Bogolyubsky was placed in the church, where it lay for two days and two nights, since the unrest in the city did not allow burial.

“And so he laid him in the porch, covering him with a cloak, and the body lay there for two days and two nights. On the third day, the Kozmodemyansk abbot Arseny came and said: “Although we have been waiting for the senior abbots for a long time, how long will this prince lie like this? Open the church for me, I will sing him and put him in a coffin. And when this turmoil subsides, they will come from Vladimir and transfer the prince there.” And the Bogolyubsky kliroshans came, took his body, brought him into the church and put it in a stone coffin, singing funeral songs over him with Abbot Arseny together.” (The story of the murder of Andrei Bogolyubsky).

In the tradition of the Kiev-Pechersk Monastery, the speedy burial of the deceased was considered important. So Theodosius of Pechersk, early in the morning of May 3, 1074, just before his death, considered it necessary to indicate to the brethren of the monastery: “Bury my body at night,” which was done by the monks. And in the Patericon of this monastery there are several stories about miracles associated with the time of the funeral. The first story talks about Athanasius the Recluse. Athanasius himself was a monk of strict life, but he fell ill and died. His body was washed and prepared for burial, but since he was very poor, the monks neglected to bury him, leaving him to lie in his cell. So the deceased lay there for two days without burial. At night, the abbot of the monastery had an apparition - he heard a voice that said: “The man of God Athanasius has been lying unburied for two days, and you don’t care about it.” As soon as morning came, the abbot and his brethren hurried to the deceased to correct their mistake and perform his burial, but suddenly they saw him resurrected.

Another story, about the Monk Mark the caveman, tells of two cases when this holy ascetic did not have time to make a place for the burial of the deceased brethren of the monastery on the day of their death. In the first case, the grave was so narrow and unexpanded that it did not allow either adjusting the clothes of the deceased or pouring oil. Then Mark said to the dead man: “Since this grave is small, brother, sprinkle it yourself: take the oil and pour it on yourself.” The dead man, having risen a little, stretched out his hand, took the oil and poured it in a cross shape on his chest and face, then he gave the vessel and straightened his clothes in front of everyone, lay down and died again. The next time, the same monk Mark, not having time to finish his work, asked the dead man to rise again and live another day.

Then the other brother, after a long illness, died. One of his friends wiped his body with a sponge and went into the cave to see the grave where his friend’s body would lie, and he asked the blessed one about it. The Monk Mark answered him: “Brother, go tell your brother: “Wait until tomorrow, I will dig a grave for you, then you will retire from life.” The brother who came said to him: “Father Marco, I have already wiped his dead body with a sponge, who do you tell me to tell?” Mark said again: “You see, the grave is not finished. And as I command you, go and tell the deceased: “The sinful Marco says to you: brother, live another day, and tomorrow you will go to our beloved Lord. When I have prepared a place to put you, I will send for you.”

The monk’s brother, who came, listened to him, and when he came to the monastery, he found the brethren performing the usual singing over the deceased. He, standing before the dead man, said: “Marco tells you that the grave has not yet been prepared for you, brother, wait until tomorrow.” Everyone was surprised at these words. But as soon as the brother who came had spoken them in front of everyone, the dead man immediately opened his eyes and his soul returned to him, all that day and all night he stayed with his eyes open, but did not say anything to anyone.

The next day, the brother who went to Mark went to the cave to find out if the place was ready. The blessed one said to him: “Go and tell the deceased: “Marco tells you - leave this temporary life and move on to the eternal, now the place is ready for receiving your body, surrender your spirit to God, and your body It will be laid here, in the cave, with the holy fathers.” The brother came and told all this to the man who had come to life, and he, in front of everyone who came to visit him, immediately closed his eyes and gave up his ghost. And they laid him honestly, in the place designated for him in the cave. And everyone marveled at such a miracle: how, at one word of the blessed one, the dead man came to life and, at his command, died again.

We find a similar plot in “The Tale of Princes,” a work of the second half of the 12th century. According to this text, after the death of Prince Davyd Svyatoslavich, he was moved to the Church of Boris and Gleb, built by him. The bishop performed the burial service for the prince, but his coffin was not yet ready. Then the bishop said: “The sun is already setting; tomorrow we will bury him.” Hearing these words, those sitting with the prince left and, returning back to the church, told the bishop: “The sun does not set, but stands in one place.” The bishop marveled and praised God. When the stone was leveled and the prince was placed in a coffin, then the sun set.

As we can see, these miracles are performed in order to observe the daily period between death and burial. At the same time, the period itself is perceived as a certain norm, and cases of a long gap between death and funeral are perceived as deviations from this norm. It remains to ask the question on what could it be based this norm. It must be said that quick funerals are inherent in various religious traditions. This reflected an archaic fear of death and dead person, as well as basic precautions, especially in hot countries where the body of the deceased quickly began to decompose. But for a Christian there is a model that sets a guideline in the life of a believer - this is the earthly life of Jesus Christ. The death of the Lord on the Cross is a key event in world history and the orientation towards it can be traced in many works of both general Christian and ancient Russian literature. The burial of Christ's body took place in accordance with the requirements of the Jewish religion, on the day of his death, that is, less than 24 hours later. It is possible that it is precisely the orientation towards this significant pattern that causes the perception of a short burial period, within 24 hours, as the norm.
Creator new tradition The three-day period between death and burial is Peter the Great. On January 28, 1704, the emperor issued a decree on the procedure for burying the dead. It said:

“The dead of all ranks, male and female, who are to be buried in the holy churches, should not be buried until three days, but taken out of their houses to the church, and on the third day they should be buried as usual.”

This decree prescribes not to bury the dead before the third day. This requires finding the body of the deceased during the interval before the funeral in the temple. As you can see, Peter I legally introduces a new norm, departing from the previous custom, to bury the body within 24 hours after death. The decree itself does not explain in any way the reasons for its appearance. But we can say that the tsar did not strive to observe the traditions of Russian Orthodoxy. The purpose of this decree was different. It is possible that later stages of lawmaking will help to find out the reasons for this innovation of Peter I. In the “Code on Criminal and Correctional Punishments” - the first criminal code Russian Empire, signed by Emperor Nicholas I in 1845, Article 1081 also introduces a three-day period between death and funeral as mandatory. The text of the article explains the reason for such strict regulation of the funeral period. If a person is buried before three days and: “... it later turns out that the person buried in this way was in lethargic sleep or in a fit of stupor, mistaken for death, and died from premature burial, then the person guilty of this is sentenced...” and then a list of punishments is given.

The explanation for the norm of burial on the third day is the fear of burying a person who is still alive. It seems that it will be fruitful to compare this fact with the observations of the French researcher Philippe Ariès. He notes that already from the second half of the 17th century, and especially in the 18th - first half of the 19th century in Western Europe, minds were seized by, according to his definition, “general panic,” “the fear of being buried alive, of waking up from a long sleep at the bottom of the grave.” Many stories about revived dead people begin to spread in society. These fears have also penetrated into Russia. It is known that the fear of being buried alive haunted N.V. Gogol. “Imaginary death” as a literary motif is used in such widely known and seemingly distant works from our topic as the fairy tale “The Sleeping Princess” by V.A. Zhukovsky, “The Tale of the Dead Princess and the Seven Knights” by A.S. Pushkin and others. Lethargy has become " commonplace» culture.

The above text of the “Code of Punishments” allows us to assert that it was this phobia that swept across Europe that became the reason for the strict regulation of the funeral period in Russian legislation in the mid-19th century. The period of three days goes back, of course, to the above-mentioned Decree of Peter I of January 28, 1704. But it is possible that this decree itself was caused by the same reasons. And the three-day period before the funeral was aimed at clearly seeing that the person had died. By the third day, irreversible changes in the body of the deceased will be clearly visible. And it is precisely this fact that irrefutably indicates actual death. And here the decree of Peter I was almost a century ahead of the appearance of morgues, special storage facilities where the bodies of the deceased remained until decomposition began. Thus, the church performed not only the functions of modern registry offices, but also morgues.

However, to end of the 19th century centuries, fears of imaginary death faded away, but the process of sacralization of the three-day funeral period went so far that it became an generally accepted norm.

- Until the deceased is carried out, household members cannot see their reflection.

For some time after the death of a loved one, you should avoid saying his name out loud.

Relatives should not carry the deceased.

Before lowering the coffin into the grave, you need to throw a coin there (the ransom from the coffin) - this is the first thing that close blood relatives do, and then the earth is thrown.

If there is a deceased person in the apartment, before the funeral you should not use sharp metal objects (knives, needles, nails, blades, axes, etc.) and keep them in the open.

While the deceased is in the house, a cup (new white saucer) of water should be placed on the windowsill (to “wash the soul”). After removing the body, the bowl (glass) must be taken out of the house, the water should be poured out, and the glass should be thrown into the river.

If a dead person is in the house, you cannot clean up and take out the trash, otherwise the rest may die.

When nailing down the lid of a coffin, care must be taken to ensure that the shadow of a living person does not “get into the coffin.” Likewise, care must be taken to ensure that the shadows of those present do not fall into the grave before lowering the coffin.

During a funeral, you need to make sure that there are no knots or rings on the deceased; buttons should be undone.

Don't forget to untie the deceased, otherwise someone else will die soon! If, by chance, the deceased was not untied, his relatives need to put scissors in someone’s coffin as quickly as possible. (how to do this if, having read everything, they guard the coffin of the deceased like a chest of belongings, and they will stone you at any moment, thinking that witchcraft is being performed, hmm...)

Until the 9th day it is necessary to wash and iron all his things, carefully fold them - as if to prepare everything. None of the deceased’s belongings are given away until the 40th day, no rearrangements are made in the house, etc.

It is necessary that relatives in the house are not left to spend the night alone for 9 days. We need friends and relatives to live through this time. Thus, the soul, staying at home for 9 days, calmed down that his loved ones were not abandoned and he had someone to leave them with.

The things in which the deceased is buried must be new; if this is not possible, then clean, freshly washed, without traces of blood and dirt, carefully ironed. They are buried in clothes appropriate to the season. That is, in winter they don’t bury just one shirt! Shoes - very important point. You need to buy soft, comfortable and, if possible, beautiful slippers. necessarily with a backdrop (not flip-flops).

If a very young, fashionable person dies, they are buried in comfortable soft shoes, women - always in soft shoes without heels, but then - these slippers are still put in the coffin! The coffin must be tight by all standards.

By the way, many, when buying a place in a cemetery, try to grab a larger plot - this cannot be done. The area should be small, cramped - only the most necessary things.

If the deceased is baptized, it is necessary to perform a funeral service for him in the church. It is better to buy new icons, which are placed on the chest during the funeral service.

Until 40 days, nothing is given away from the house of the deceased - no chairs, no dishes, or anything else. They don't even lend money.

Even if the deceased was in the morgue, he is brought to the house before the funeral service and stays there for some time.

As soon as the car with the coffin drives away, the floor in the house needs to be thoroughly washed. This cannot be done to blood relatives!

If you go to a funeral, take everything you bought for this occasion out of the house. Let’s say you bought flowers - everything needs to be taken away (if a part is broken, damaged, etc., you can’t leave it - everything needs to be taken out.

Also, on the way, you cannot enter anyone’s house, much less ask for something from that house (water for flowers, etc.). If they come to you with such a request, always refuse.

Everyone probably knows that they don’t go ahead of the coffins and even overtake funeral cars...

Flowers scattered on the path of a deceased person are not picked up or stored.

People ALWAYS enter the cemetery only through the gate, and the body is taken through the gate. You can go back through the gate. They also don’t go ahead of the dead man.

And during the funeral service, relatives need to carefully watch next to the coffin. But there is a lot going on at a funeral. Make sure that nothing is placed in the coffin and that nothing is taken from the coffin. (we were just talking about scissors) When leaving the funeral service, you must say goodbye to the deceased.
Touch his legs and arms. If something turns you off, don't kiss him on the crown. Hypocrisy is unacceptable here. Having said goodbye, they move away from the coffin and leave the church without turning around. If you have suspicions or fears, when you come up to say goodbye, you need to hold on to your shoes and say to yourself - goodbye! We will come to you, but you don’t come to us!

By the way, if the deceased had poor vision in life, they give him glasses, if he was limping - a cane, etc.

If the deceased was married, in wedding ring they don't bury. And it is better to bury without jewelry.

It is better to nail the coffin in a church, sprinkled with consecrated earth.

Before lowering the coffin, it is better for relatives to silently ask for forgiveness from the “neighbors” for disturbing the earth and their peace!

Living flowers are removed from the coffin before being nailed up.

Icons are not buried; they must be removed from the coffin before the lid is hammered in; they are taken to the temple and left there

You can't have fun in a cemetery, laughing is very bad omen. This is one reason not to take children with you!

Pregnant women are also not allowed to visit the cemetery - only before the funeral service.

When burying a dead person, one does not drink in the cemetery.

After the funeral itself, you should definitely go in and remember the deceased.

The following must be present at the wake: kutia (rice with raisins) - it is mandatory to eat it. You need to put in a little, because you can’t leave half eaten.
Compote or jelly (better), bread, something fishy, ​​hot - soup. It's good when pancakes are baked.

Memorials are not held in restaurants and pompously (no matter the status of the deceased). Traditionally, people get drunk now. You can't do this! This is an insult to the dead. Moreover, there is a sign - whoever gets drunk at a wake will have incurable alcoholics in their family! It is also a bad omen if a wake turns into fun and a farce. Relatives must keep an eye on everything.

Scarves are distributed to everyone present; extra ones can be distributed in the courtyard to everyone.

At funerals, a glass of water and bread are always provided. Nowadays they often pour vodka, but this is wrong. After the funeral at home, they also pour a glass of water (buy a new one), cover it with bread and pour a little salt into a small dish. All this costs 40 days. We need to clean it all up so that no one spills or spills it, otherwise there will be trouble. So be careful with children.

They are also commemorated on days 9 and 40.

After the funeral, the next day they gather early at the fresh grave. It is believed that the deceased is waiting for everyone.

Drinking in a cemetery in general (alcoholic drinks) is very bad, try to convince everyone to drink jelly and compote. It’s good to burn candles on the grave and leave food for people and animals.

Every time they leave the cemetery, they don’t look back. You can say to yourself - We will come to you, but you don’t come to us!

Take into account the wishes - many elderly people prepare their lives in advance - it is better to fulfill their will.

About monuments. Nowadays it is fashionable to install large, heavy monuments - this is also undesirable. Many dead people may then complain in their sleep that it is very difficult to lie down - the monument is pressing, suffocating. That is, it is better not to overdo it.

After the 40th day, at least some of the deceased’s belongings are given to friends and acquaintances as souvenirs. It is not advisable to sell these things.

It is good to order a commemoration for several years at once in different churches.

Also, you can’t visit a young grave very often.

It is very good to remember with alms - change and food. (it’s bad when alms are perceived as a handout of change, detachable) If the deceased is not buried, then this is the only way to remember him.

The widow must burn hers mourning scarf on day 40, if she does not expect to be alone in the future. People often ask for this scarf - it has power.

We are so accustomed to the fact that funerals take place on the third day that the slightest change in this custom raises many questions. But research into this issue leads us to unexpected conclusions.

Of course, we do not have church or state regulations that would regulate the order and timing of funerals. There is no such regulation in general Christian institutions. Therefore, we can use the available indications of death in chronicles and other sources. We can glean some information from the memoirs of Western travelers who described the customs of the Muscovites. But even if the day of death is indicated, only in a few cases do we have information about the time of the funeral itself. For the period XI-XVII centuries. there are just over forty of them. The appearance of this date was associated with some delay in the funeral due to the movement of the body, unrest, or other circumstances. Sometimes the date of the funeral was highlighted to add more detail to the narrative. But even from very limited material certain conclusions can be drawn. In most cases, the funeral took place shortly after the time of death, within a day, or the next day after death.

In other cases, the lengthening of time before burial is associated with the movement of the deceased to their burial place. Although there are other reasons for postponing the funeral. In 1473, the funeral of Prince Yuri Vasilyevich was postponed due to the absence of the grand ducal family in Moscow. Yuri Vasilyevich died on September 12, Saturday. The Grand Duke returned to Moscow on September 16, Wednesday. On the same day, immediately after the arrival of the Grand Duke, the burial took place. In 1175, the day after the murder, the body of Andrei Bogolyubsky was placed in the church, where it lay for two days and two nights, since the unrest in the city did not allow burial.

“And so he laid him in the porch, covering him with a cloak, and the body lay there for two days and two nights. On the third day, the Kozmodemyansk abbot Arseny came and said: “Although we have been waiting for the senior abbots for a long time, how long will this prince lie like this? Open the church for me, I will sing him and put him in a coffin. And when this turmoil subsides, they will come from Vladimir and transfer the prince there.” And the Bogolyubsky kliroshans came, took his body, brought him into the church and put it in a stone coffin, singing funeral songs over him with Abbot Arseny together.” (The story of the murder of Andrei Bogolyubsky).

In the tradition of the Kiev-Pechersk Monastery, the speedy burial of the deceased was considered important. So Theodosius of Pechersk, early in the morning of May 3, 1074, just before his death, considered it necessary to indicate to the brethren of the monastery: “Bury my body at night,” which was done by the monks. And in the Patericon of this monastery there are several stories about miracles associated with the time of the funeral. The first story talks about Athanasius the Recluse. Athanasius himself was a monk of strict life, but he fell ill and died. His body was washed and prepared for burial, but since he was very poor, the monks neglected to bury him, leaving him to lie in his cell. So the deceased lay there for two days without burial. At night, the abbot of the monastery had an apparition - he heard a voice that said: “The man of God Athanasius has been lying unburied for two days, and you don’t care about it.” As soon as morning came, the abbot and his brethren hurried to the deceased to correct their mistake and perform his burial, but suddenly they saw him resurrected.

Another story, about the Monk Mark the caveman, tells of two cases when this holy ascetic did not have time to make a place for the burial of the deceased brethren of the monastery on the day of their death. In the first case, the grave was so narrow and unexpanded that it did not allow either adjusting the clothes of the deceased or pouring oil. Then Mark said to the dead man: “Since this grave is small, brother, sprinkle it yourself: take the oil and pour it on yourself.” The dead man, having risen a little, stretched out his hand, took the oil and poured it in a cross shape on his chest and face, then he gave the vessel and straightened his clothes in front of everyone, lay down and died again. The next time, the same monk Mark, not having time to finish his work, asked the dead man to rise again and live another day.

Then the other brother, after a long illness, died. One of his friends wiped his body with a sponge and went into the cave to see the grave where his friend’s body would lie, and he asked the blessed one about it. The Monk Mark answered him: “Brother, go tell your brother: “Wait until tomorrow, I will dig a grave for you, then you will retire from life.” The brother who came said to him: “Father Marco, I have already wiped his dead body with a sponge, who do you tell me to tell?” Mark said again: “You see, the grave is not finished. And as I command you, go and tell the deceased: “The sinful Marco says to you: brother, live another day, and tomorrow you will go to our beloved Lord. When I have prepared a place to put you, I will send for you.”

The monk’s brother, who came, listened to him, and when he came to the monastery, he found the brethren performing the usual singing over the deceased. He, standing before the dead man, said: “Marco tells you that the grave has not yet been prepared for you, brother, wait until tomorrow.” Everyone was surprised at these words. But as soon as the brother who came had spoken them in front of everyone, the dead man immediately opened his eyes and his soul returned to him, all that day and all night he stayed with his eyes open, but did not say anything to anyone.

The next day, the brother who went to Mark went to the cave to find out if the place was ready. The blessed one said to him: “Go and tell the deceased: “Marco tells you - leave this temporary life and move on to the eternal, now the place is ready to receive your body, surrender your spirit to God, and your body will be laid here, in the cave, with holy fathers." The brother came and told all this to the man who had come to life, and he, in front of everyone who came to visit him, immediately closed his eyes and gave up his ghost. And they laid him honestly, in the place designated for him in the cave. And everyone marveled at such a miracle: how, at one word of the blessed one, the dead man came to life and, at his command, died again.

We find a similar plot in “The Tale of Princes,” a work of the second half of the 12th century. According to this text, after the death of Prince Davyd Svyatoslavich, he was moved to the Church of Boris and Gleb, built by him. The bishop performed the burial service for the prince, but his coffin was not yet ready. Then the bishop said: “The sun is already setting; tomorrow we will bury him.” Hearing these words, those sitting with the prince left and, returning back to the church, told the bishop: “The sun does not set, but stands in one place.” The bishop marveled and praised God. When the stone was leveled and the prince was placed in a coffin, then the sun set.

As we can see, these miracles are performed in order to observe the daily period between death and burial. At the same time, the period itself is perceived as a certain norm, and cases of a long gap between death and funeral are perceived as deviations from this norm. It remains to ask the question on what this norm could be based. It must be said that quick funerals are inherent in various religious traditions. This reflected both the archaic fear of death and a dead person, as well as basic precautionary measures, especially in hot countries where the body of the deceased quickly began to decompose. But for a Christian there is a model that sets a guideline in the life of a believer - this is the earthly life of Jesus Christ. The death of the Lord on the Cross is a key event in world history and the orientation towards it can be traced in many works of both general Christian and ancient Russian literature. The burial of Christ's body took place in accordance with the requirements of the Jewish religion, on the day of his death, that is, less than 24 hours later. It is possible that it is precisely the orientation towards this significant pattern that causes the perception of a short burial period, within 24 hours, as the norm.
The creator of the new tradition of a three-day period between death and burial is Peter the Great. On January 28, 1704, the emperor issued a decree on the procedure for burying the dead. It said:

“The dead of all ranks, male and female, who are to be buried in the holy churches, should not be buried until three days, but taken out of their houses to the church, and on the third day they should be buried as usual.”

This decree prescribes not to bury the dead before the third day. This requires finding the body of the deceased during the interval before the funeral in the temple. As you can see, Peter I legally introduces a new norm, departing from the previous custom, to bury the body within 24 hours after death. The decree itself does not explain in any way the reasons for its appearance. But we can say that the tsar did not strive to observe the traditions of Russian Orthodoxy. The purpose of this decree was different. It is possible that later stages of lawmaking will help to find out the reasons for this innovation of Peter I. In the “Code on Criminal and Correctional Punishments” - the first criminal code of the Russian Empire, signed by Emperor Nicholas I in 1845, in Article 1081, a three-day period between death and funeral is also introduced as mandatory. The text of the article explains the reason for such strict regulation of the funeral period. If a person is buried before three days and: “... it later turns out that the person buried in this way was in a lethargic sleep or in a fit of stupor, mistaken for death, and died from premature burial, then the person guilty of this is sentenced...” and further cited list of punishments.

The explanation for the norm of burial on the third day is the fear of burying a person who is still alive. It seems that it will be fruitful to compare this fact with the observations of the French researcher Philippe Ariès. He notes that already from the second half of the 17th century, and especially in the 18th - first half of the 19th century in Western Europe, minds were seized by, according to his definition, “general panic,” “the fear of being buried alive, of waking up from a long sleep at the bottom of the grave.” Many stories about revived dead people begin to spread in society. These fears have also penetrated into Russia. It is known that the fear of being buried alive haunted N.V. Gogol. “Imaginary death” as a literary motif is used in such widely known and seemingly distant works from our topic as the fairy tale “The Sleeping Princess” by V.A. Zhukovsky, “The Tale of the Dead Princess and the Seven Knights” by A.S. Pushkin and others. Lethargy has become a “common place” of culture.

The above text of the “Code of Punishments” allows us to assert that it was this phobia that swept across Europe that became the reason for the strict regulation of the funeral period in Russian legislation in the mid-19th century. The period of three days goes back, of course, to the above-mentioned Decree of Peter I of January 28, 1704. But it is possible that this decree itself was caused by the same reasons. And the three-day period before the funeral was aimed at clearly seeing that the person had died. By the third day, irreversible changes in the body of the deceased will be clearly visible. And it is precisely this fact that irrefutably indicates actual death. And here the decree of Peter I was almost a century ahead of the appearance of morgues, special storage facilities where the bodies of the deceased remained until decomposition began. Thus, the church performed not only the functions of modern registry offices, but also morgues.

However, by the end of the 19th century, fears of imaginary death faded away, but the process of sacralization of the three-day funeral period went so far that it became the generally accepted norm.