Is monasticism an easy path? How they live in a monastery: confession of a nun.
We have published the first part of the notes of our correspondent Zhanna Chul, who lived in monasteries for five years. First, in the rich and famous Voskresensky Novodevichy in St. Petersburg. Then - in poor Ioanno-Predtechenskoye, in Moscow. Today we are finishing publishing this unique text about modern monastic morals.
Zhanna Chul
“Come back immediately!”
I left the Novodevichy Convent in St. Petersburg because I didn’t have the strength to endure such a life. The myth about the good mother abbess was dispelled by her. It took me a long time to gather my courage, I went through possible options care Chance helped.
On September 30, Mother Superior Sophia celebrated Angel Day. Usually this holiday - the day of the holy martyrs Faith, Nadezhda, Lyubov and their mother Sophia - was equated in solemnity with the arrival of the patriarch at the monastery. For several days, the sisters did not have a free minute: they washed, cleaned, and bought a lot of food for a sumptuous meal. Garlands were woven from flowers and huge flower beds were made. The temple was decorated festively. The guests walked in a long line. Those of lower rank were received by the abbess in the church and in the sisters' refectory. Government officials and businessmen were treated to delicacies and liqueurs in her own house. Mother Sofia also gave her sisters a gift on her angel day. I gave each one a set: a book, an icon and a pack of tea. I didn’t come to the festive meal: I was on duty at the temple. And I didn’t really want to. My relationship with my mother was already tense.
My gift was brought to the temple by nun Olga. But by mistake she took a set for another novice. She shouted that she was left without a gift. The next day, Mother called nun Olga and me into her office. “Why did you bring her a gift? Are you her cell attendant? (Servants of persons of monastic rank. - Author),” she asked the trembling Olga menacingly. Without listening to our answers, she announced her verdict: “I am removing the apostolnik (headdress in female monasticism) from Olga, and I am sending Joanna home.” I turned around and left. She didn’t even react to the abbess’s exclamations to me: “Come back!” Come back immediately." I went to pack my things. As a complete violation of human rights, as an act of distrust towards my sisters, I consider the fact that nuns are required to hand over their passports at the monastery. They are kept in an office safe: this gives the abbess a guarantee that the sister will not run away without a document. They didn’t return my passport for a long time. I had to threaten that I would come to the monastery with the police...
New monastery
At home I could not return to normal life for a long time. After all, in the monastery I was used to working seven days a week. Sometimes despite the pain and feeling unwell. Regardless of the time of day and weather conditions. And although she was physically and mentally exhausted, she continued to get up at six in the morning out of habit. To keep myself busy and somehow figure out what to do next, I went to Strelna, to the Trinity-Sergius Hermitage. Attended services. She helped clean the temple and worked in the garden. The soul needed peace and rest, some kind of change. And I went on a two-week trip to Israel. I visited Jerusalem and the main places in the life of Jesus Christ: Nazareth in Galilee, Mount Tabor, washed myself in the Jordan River... When I returned, rested and enlightened, the desert priest Father Varlaam, in response to my question, what should I do next, blessed me to go to Moscow to John -Predtechensky Convent. I've never heard of him before. I found the address on the Internet. Got ready to go. Mom was crying. Just as bitter and inconsolable as three years ago, when I left for the Novodevichy Convent...
It was with difficulty that I found this monastery in Moscow and circled around it for a long time, although it was a five-minute walk from the Kitay-Gorod metro station to the monastery. When the doorbell rang, a friendly, pretty sister in black monastic robes came out onto the porch. She took me to Abbess Afanasia. I arrived just in time: in half an hour the abbess was leaving for the hospital, where she was to spend three weeks. When they led me up the stairs, I noted to myself how much devastation and dirt there was all around. And, of course, in the future I also constantly compared my life in the first monastery and in the present one.
Wilderness near the Kremlin
The sisters rarely saw Abbess Afanasia: either during divine services, or if she called her to her cell. Mother was seriously ill - she even had difficulty walking. So she sat all the time in her cell. The abbess did not come down to the common meal because of her sore legs. Three times a day, a particularly close woman, who worked as a hired cook, came up to her with a tray of food. Over the years in the monastery, she found an approach to the abbess; they had long conversations behind closed doors. From Natalya, the abbess learned all the news of the monastery and was aware of the life of the sisters. When Natalya had a day off, she was blessed to bring food to one of the sisters. And the abbess took the tray with empty dishes into the corridor and placed it on an aquarium with goldfish.
Compared to the Voskresensky Novodevichy monastery, this monastery was much simpler. Although Ioanno-Predtechensky was located a ten-minute walk from the Kremlin, the poverty was as if the sisters lived in the wilderness of the forest. In Novodevichy I took a shower every day. And here they saved water. It came as a shock to the sisters and the abbess when they found out that I washed myself every day. As it turns out, a real monk takes a shower once a week (or better yet, twice!). The landline phone number was tapped. The same device stood in the dean’s cell, and at any second during the conversation one could hear the sniffling of the sister keeping order on the receiver: think about what you say and don’t be idle. The lights were turned off throughout the monastery before eleven o'clock in the evening. In Novodevichy, we had night lights burning in all the corridors. Of course, they called for careful handling of electricity, but not enough to check it at night. Abbess Sophia gave her blessing to hang a notice in the church: “The monastery has a debt for electricity of 3 million rubles. We ask parishioners to donate to pay off the debt.” But in Ioanno-Predtechenskoe they simply saved...
In the room with a high ceiling of three meters, where I was placed in the new monastery, rags of plaster hung down. The window was closed and half curtained,
as they do in the village, a gray, washed-out scum. The walls are smoked and
dirty. On the floor, between the rickety cabinets, there are heaters turned on at full power. Stale air: heavy smell burnt air mixed with the smell of sweat and old things. As nun Anuvia later admitted to me, all these tables and cabinets were picked up from the trash heap.
Besides me, there are three other residents. Two nuns - Mother Alexy and Mother Innocent (later we had a constant struggle with her for open window. Even in warm weather, she ordered it to be closed - she was afraid of catching a cold) and novice Natalya. The room is partitioned off with ropes on which identical large pieces of fabric, gray with dirt, hang. Each sister has a candle or lamp burning behind the curtain. In my nook there is a bed, on the wall there is a woven carpet with the image of the Mother of God “Tenderness”. A chair, a table with sagging drawers, a bedside table. In the corner there is a shelf with icons and a lamp. I sank helplessly into a chair. I couldn't sleep that night. Behind the curtain I felt like I was in a hole. There was no air at all. The bed creaked pitifully. And all three of my neighbors, as soon as they lay down and turned off the light, began... to snore! It was a real nightmare. Fancy shadows from flickering lamps flitted across the ceiling. I couldn’t stand it and cried quietly. I managed to forget myself and fall into a heavy sleep only in the morning. As soon as I dozed off, the bell rang: rise!
Soup for beggars
To begin with, they gave me obedience - to photograph (for some reason no one wanted to pick up a camera) all the events and the internal life of the monastery, to help the cook in the kitchen prepare meals, to wash the dishes in the evenings. Sometimes I also washed the stairs leading up to the sisters' cells.
Later, I was entrusted with feeding the beggars at the gate. It was a morally difficult obedience. By two o'clock in the afternoon a table was brought out to the gate. Homeless people began to flock from all sides. We already knew many of them by sight, but those who had found themselves in difficult times also came. life situation- for example, a person was robbed at a train station. At a strictly appointed hour, all these unfortunates hurried to the St. John the Baptist Monastery. This was also a huge difference between the two monasteries. In Novodevichy, despite all its luxury, those who ask will not receive a dry crust until they have worked. One day I was stopped by a ragged man who could barely stand on his feet from weakness. He only asked for bread. I turned to the sacristan for a blessing for this, who remained behind the eldest in the monastery while the abbess was away. She was inexorable: let him at least sweep the yard.
Beggars (they were affectionately called “poor people”) in the St. John the Baptist Monastery were given soup in a disposable plastic plate, two pieces of bread and liquid tea. Their hungry eyes lit up at the sight of food! The homeless were constantly in need of clothes and shoes. Therefore, a clothing circulation was established in the monastery. Parishioners brought unnecessary clothes. The beggars immediately snapped up the mittens, socks and hats they brought out, especially in the bitter cold of winter.
Massage for the rich
Various organizations rented premises at the Novodevichy Convent for a long time. In addition to the payment, they gave the sisters gifts for the holidays. The cosmetics company Rive Gauche, for example, supplied the nuns with shampoos and shower gels. When the lease expired and the organizations did not renew it, the abbess began to look for a use for the vacant premises. I wanted a family orphanage arrange it, but the sisters protested, fearing responsibility. Then, with the blessing of Patriarch Kirill, Sofia set up a bishop's hotel in these premises. Each cell rivaled the most expensive worldly hotel in its luxury of furniture and utensils. The floor is covered with a fluffy bright carpet. In the refectory, in a huge cell, canaries chattered merrily. On ground floor There is a sauna, a massage chair and even a swimming pool. The toilets in especially luxurious cells were illuminated and had washing and massage functions, even an “enema” function was provided... And in Ioanno-Predtechenskoye at that time there were not enough deep bowls for soup for all the eaters! And the toilets were from Soviet times - to flush the water, you had to pull a string.
The fate of a ballerina
Man is still an amazing creature: how much can he endure!? But, as they say, everyone is given a cross within their strength. The nun Eusevia, with whom I had to share both my cell and obedience during the first days, is a frail woman of fifty years old. At the time we met her, her monastic experience was seventeen years. It is interesting that in the past she graduated from the Leningrad Choreographic School named after A. Ya. Vaganova and was a ballerina of the Mariinsky Theater. She went to the monastery on the eve of the theater’s important long tour to Japan... Her main obedience was as a senior prosphora girl. I had the opportunity to work in the prosphora for the first month. Without exaggeration I will say: baking prosphora is the hardest work.
Those who have obedience there get up earlier than everyone else. On morning service If they don’t go, they light a lamp in the prosphora itself in front of the icon of Jesus Christ and read prayers. And only after that they start working.
We spent the whole day in the prosphora: from 6 am to 16-17 pm. All this time - on my feet. There is no time to sit down - while one batch of prosphoras is baking, another needs to be cut out of the dough. We had lunch hastily and dry. Here, perched on the edge of the cutting table. The small room is very hot and stuffy. The baking trays with the “tops” and “bottoms” of the prosphoras are heavy - made of iron. Future prosphora must be cut out very carefully, according to a strictly defined size, otherwise they will turn out lopsided, and this is a defect. Mother Eusevia was indispensable in this obedience. I wondered: where did she, so sick and fragile, get so much strength? After all, the list of her obediences was not limited to work in the prosphora. She was also an assistant cellarer (the head of the refectory), she helped in the sewing workshop, and she was assigned to do church work in the church (monitoring the candles and the cleanliness of the icons). After running through obediences, I was so tired that at the end of the day I fell on the bed in my cell and instantly fell asleep. And behind the curtain, Eusebius’s mother read endless prayers, canons, akathists, and lives for half the night.
Accident in the prosphora
There were also serious troubles: the sisters constant fatigue and lack of sleep became distracted and could break an arm or leg. Novice Natalya (I was surprised when I found out that she was only 25 years old: with a headscarf pulled right over her eyes, with rough skin, constantly frowning, she gave the impression of a grandmother over 60...) was preparing to become a nun, and the wait for tonsure is treacherous and full of temptations - this is so natural in the monastery that it no longer surprises anyone. One day, Natalya crushed her left hand in a prosphora while rolling out dough with a machine. Eusebius's mother was with her, and her story of what happened made her skin crawl with horror.
Mother Eusevia kneaded the dough: poured sifted flour, dry yeast, salt into a large vat, added Epiphany water. Suddenly, a heartbreaking scream was heard behind her. She turned around: her assistant was writhing in pain, and instead of a brush she had a bleeding piece of meat. Ambulance took Natasha to the hospital. The operation was urgently performed. The hand took a long time to heal. But something switched in Natasha’s head: she suddenly began to talk. The girl said terrible things: she either blamed her sisters for hurting her hand because of their witchcraft, or she assured that the treasurer’s mother, Anuvia, had overloaded her with work and “wants to make a boy out of her.” The older sisters noticed in time that something was wrong with Natalya. The tonsure was canceled, and the girl herself was sent home: “rest and restore your health.”
The treasurer and builder of the monastery, nun Anuvia, previously worked as an archaeologist and led expeditions in the near abroad. She constantly promised her sisters: next spring we will definitely move to a new building. Each will have their own cell! Spring came, followed by summer, autumn came... everything remained unchanged. The sisters lived in cramped conditions and dirt. Treasurer is a kind and cheerful woman. But she herself lived in her apartment on the outskirts of Moscow. With his son, his wife and three grandchildren. She did not live in the monastery for a single day - she came three or four times a week: she would serve at the altar during the service, walk around the monastery - and again into the world. She had a separate cell: she needed to store her things somewhere, gifts from parishioners, change from secular dress to monastic vestments for worship... I went to own car. Every year she promised both the abbess and the confessor: “ Last year I live like this! I’ll settle in the monastery for good.” advancing next year— the story continued.
The tiles in the shower were peeling, and the hatch was constantly getting clogged - the sisters kept falling out. long hair and hammered the bars. No one was in a hurry to clean up after themselves, much less after your sister, who was washing in front of you. The person in charge of the shower room cursed and posted notices admonishing sluts. One day, desperate to shout out to her untidy sisters, she hung a lock on the door for a couple of days. In the bakery, red cockroaches danced in circles at night. During the day, dough was rolled out on these tables for pies and baked goods, which were sold in a tent next to the monastery. I once went into a bakery late in the evening to read a book (in the cells the lights had long been turned off, you couldn’t even light a candle). Turned on the light. Cockroaches splashed into different sides…
It's harder to leave than to come
However, it was not the difficulties of everyday life that drove me from the monastery. When decisions have been made for you for years, and your job is small - to fulfill obedience without thinking, you lose the habit of thinking and feel powerless to coherently express your thoughts and desires. I started to get scared of myself - I realized that I was starting to think poorly. And I also wanted activity. And freedom. I have already expressed my desire to my sisters more than once. While leaving home on vacation, she voiced it and raised the issue for consideration by the monastery administration. Ten days later I received a phone call (in the St. John the Baptist Monastery, given the difficult living conditions, the sisters were allowed to use mobile phone and the Internet) a text message saying that they are blessing me to leave. It was necessary to collect things, hand over books and clothes to the library. The sisters said a touching goodbye. They invited me to come back in a year. Temporarily I moved to an apartment with friends. But whenever I entered the monastery, I was greeted warmly and even treated to lunch. I received calls throughout the next year. But seeing a familiar number, I didn’t pick up. I wanted to forget everything that happened to me. But it turned out to be not so easy. Even in my dreams I returned to the monastery.
The first days I didn’t believe my luck. I will sleep as much as I want! I can eat whatever I want (I lived without meat for five years and when I tried it for the first time after a long break, it seemed to me that I was chewing rubber). And most importantly, from now on I am my own abbess. My family at home welcomed me with open arms! But it took a whole year before I started to get back to normal. human life. Firstly, I couldn’t get enough sleep: no matter how much I slept, it wasn’t enough for me. Twelve, fourteen hours a day - I still felt tired and overwhelmed. I fell asleep in the theater during a performance, during lectures at a photography school (where I entered because I fell in love with photography in the monastery and wanted to continue this activity in the world), in transport - as soon as I sat down or even leaned against something, my eyes suddenly were closing.
The first months it was difficult to concentrate and even clearly formulate my thoughts. In the monastery, if we had a free half hour, we sat in the garden on a bench, silently with folded hands, breathing the air - rejoicing at the outstanding break. I had neither the strength nor the desire to read or talk. One of the nuns at the monastery taught me how to weave a rosary. And the monastery brought benefits (the rosary went for sale in the monastery shop), and all this was some kind of change in activity. This activity helped me out when I returned to the world: I took my wickerwork to church and even received some money for it. Some kind of help for life.
In a word, going to the monastery turned out to be much easier morally than leaving it...
When hearing the word “monastery,” many still imagine a stone cell, gloomy faces, continuous prayers and complete renunciation from the world. Or a personal tragedy that deprived a person of the meaning to live further, and he “went to a monastery.”
I tried to find out how nuns live in the 21st century and why they choose this path from my school friend, who has been living in a monastery for more than 10 years.
I was surprised to find that my school friend had practically not changed, despite the fact that we had not seen each other for fourteen years! Facial expressions and gestures, intonations, and style of speech remained the same. And character. Sister Alexandra (that’s Yulia’s name after her tonsure) willingly told me about her life in the monastery, about what brought her here, and what she actually found here.
To a foreign monastery
– How did you decide to go to the monastery? Have you been going to church since childhood?
“My grandmother took me to church, and in high school I started going with my girlfriends, but we also managed to go to parties, and even to nightclubs, although my mother was against it. When we graduated from school, everyone decided to enter theological school. Each of us was going to marry a priest in order to remain in the spiritual sphere. We met the teachers and began preparing for admission next year. I periodically went to this monastery, once I stayed for a week, I really liked it here. I even wanted to stay, but I had to return home and finish my business. You can't be obligated to something and come here.
In general, instead of getting married, I chose life in a monastery. We had the same goal, but everything turned out differently. I wasn’t going to join a monastery, but I know girls who were, but they have families now. Everything is the will of God, no one is immune from anything.
– There is an opinion that mostly people who have had a misfortune go to the monastery and they no longer see the meaning in life. Or are these some “downtrodden” girls who could not find themselves in the ordinary world. Is this true?
“There’s no hiding from grief here.” There is nowhere you can hide from yourself. Mostly those who like it here come to the monastery. All people are different: sad and cheerful, calm and active. I don’t agree that only the “downtrodden” come here.
(Two nuns pass by us, girls about 25 years old: rosy faces, smiles; which only confirms Yulia’s words.)
– How are those wishing to be accepted into the monastery? Are there any stages?
“People just stay and approach Mother Superior or the dean. They look at the new girl, how she prays and works. The main criterion is obedience. First, the girl puts on a scarf and long skirt. Before tonsure, a novice can live in a monastery from one to three years, but this is on average. Someone can live ten years and leave without taking monastic vows.
“A slave is not a pilgrim”
– What do nuns do? How does your day usually go?
– Each has its own responsibilities – work. When you come to the monastery, you submit documents - what kind of education you have, what skills and experience. Usually they try to distribute work according to education: with medical education they go to become nurses or become doctors, with economics they do accounting, and those who sing well join the choir. Although they can send you to the barn with two higher ones. The day begins and ends with prayer. We get up at 5.30 for the first service, work throughout the day, and read the lives of the saints at meals. After lunch back to work, then evening service, evening rule(prayer for the coming sleep), and we go to bed around 11 pm.
– Do you receive a salary for your work? Why do nuns even exist?
– In our monastery there are no salaries, although such a practice exists - in some monasteries I know for sure, they give out money on holidays. Somewhere a monastery cannot fully provide for nuns. We have housing, we eat here, we are given “work” clothes. But everything else... Some people get help from their parents, relatives, friends.
– What conditions do the nuns live in?
– Our conditions are normal, we live two or three people in a room, there is a shower and toilet on the floor. But in some monasteries they live very poorly, they heat with wood. And if the monastery is frequently visited, the nuns are arranged much better: each sister has her own house, which has a kitchen, bedroom, and hall. Guests come to them, whom you can invite to your place and give them tea.
– Can you leave the monastery and visit relatives?
– Yes, in every monastery there is a “vacation”, but everywhere different conditions. In some places, nuns may leave every year, in others more often, in others less often, depending on the circumstances. Some monasteries have certain days when you can leave. We are all human, even though we live in a monastery. I believe that vacation is a must. A slave is not a pilgrim.
Peace to the world
– By the way, how did your relatives and friends react when they found out that you had gone to a monastery?
- But I didn’t tell anyone. Only those closest to me knew, and it was hard for them to let me go. We told the others that I had gone to another place. There are just a lot of questions and speculation when people find out right away. And when this happens after some time, it’s easier to perceive. But many are preparing to leave openly.
– Did you have any doubts about the right path? What should a nun do in this case? And how do the authorities react if someone is about to leave the monastery?
– It’s hard to say how they will react; of course, it’s sad when they leave the monastery. Some discuss doubts with the sisters, others go to the abbess. Sometimes it can be very difficult... But I can only talk about the problems to a loved one. We live like a big family. There are quarrels and reconciliations. But if a person decides to leave because of something, it means that his internal state has changed. Why can't he accept certain things? Life in a monastery, like marriage, requires compromises to stay.
– Do you celebrate holidays and birthdays? Can nuns drink wine?
– We are celebrating Orthodox holidays. First is Christmas, the most joyful holiday: we sing carols and go from cell to cell. Then Easter... In some monasteries you can drink a little wine. We celebrate together, we fast together, it’s not at all boring as it seems. Some people celebrate their birthday, but more often it's angel's day.
– Do many new people come to monasteries now? And is there a place and work for them all?
– Every monastery needs new people. Now not so many come, about five people a year. The boom occurred in the mid-90s, and until about 2005 many people went to monasteries. This was probably due to the fact that in the early 90s the church began to revive.
– Is it possible in the monastery for promotion, so to speak, career growth?
– This is relevant for monasteries. In women's, you can become an abbess, but I don't strive for anything, I'm fine as is.
Monastic life is hidden from prying eyes and does not allow idle, curious intrusion. It's natural. Mythical stereotypes are often formed around what is unknown. This is understandable. Most often they have little to do with reality. This is a fact. So, figuratively speaking, let’s separate the wheat from the chaff.
The most common misconceptions.
1. Becoming a nun is as easy as shelling pears, just one desire is enough.
Of course, going to the monastery is a voluntary matter, which is based on the girl’s desire to leave the world and devote herself to monastic life. But between the time she first sets foot on the territory of the monastery and her monastic tonsure, a lot of time passes.
Often girls travel to different monasteries and get acquainted with their statutes, which, although not radically, are still different from each other. After the choice in favor of one or another monastery is made, the “candidate” turns to the abbess (mother superior) with a request to accept her. Most often, the girl is left to live in the monastery, but as... a pilgrim. She has the opportunity to attend sister services, a common meal (however, she sits at a special table for pilgrims), becomes more deeply acquainted with life in the monastery, and helps in general obediences. The sisters and the authorities at the monastery (no one hides this) are taking a closer look at the new girl.
If it becomes clear that the girl is not influenced by immediate circumstances, but shows diligence in prayer, listens to advice, forces herself to be humble, and so on, the abbess, together with the older sisters, decide to accept her into the monastery. She still attends the common meal, participates in sisterhood services, and is assigned constant obedience.
They remain as a novice for at least three years. After this (or more) time has passed, a petition is submitted to the ruling bishop and abbess for tonsure. The first degree of tonsure is monasticism (during which monastic vows are not yet pronounced). After it, the “form” changes again. The nuns wear a cassock with long sleeves, an apostolnik and a klobuk (a headdress with a black transparent “veil”). In monastic tonsure, a different name is often given, as this symbolizes the birth of a new person for spiritual life.
But the so-called mantle tonsure is actually monasticism. During it, three main monastic vows are publicly given: non-covetousness (not to have anything of your own), obedience, chastity (celibacy). In addition, the “newborn” nun dresses in a robe consisting of many folds. It means the protecting and covering power of God. And the fact that the mantle does not have sleeves means that the monastic, as it were, does not have hands for vain worldly activities, for sin. When walking, the mantle flutters like wings.
2. Everyone without exception is accepted into the monastery.
This is wrong. People who are married, as well as women with minor children, cannot enter the monastery. Moreover, it is desirable that children, even after reaching 18 years of age, so to speak, stand firmly on their feet. In some Greek monasteries there is a rule not to accept after 30 years. In Russian monasteries there is no such strict rule, but preference is still given to young people. This is due to the fact that with age it is more difficult for a person to change, it is more difficult to obey, it is more problematic to revise life principles, and to humble oneself. Let's say there was a woman in the world who was a specialist with a higher education, and in the monastery she was asked to wash the floor. She is perplexed by this. The example is conditional, but similar things happen in the life of monasteries.
As, however, the opposite also happens. Women enter the monastery at an advanced age, and then become an example for the sisters in obedience, diligence in prayer, and humility.
3. They pray in the monastery all day, from morning to night.
Life in the monastery is subject to a fairly strict routine, and more than six hours a day are devoted to prayer. But in addition to prayer, all sisters also perform daily obediences. Our Ekaterinburg Novo-Tikhvinsky convent can be called “industrial”. There are famous icon-painting, sewing workshops, Greco-Slavic and historical rooms here. In addition, the nuns perform singing obedience (by the way, they revive ancient chants, both Russian and Greek).
Smaller (besides the basic) obediences are distributed by the dean (special position). It is she who decides who will do the laundry today, who will sweep the yard, who will wash the floors...
They wake up at the monastery at 3.30. The monastery strives to dedicate the beginnings of the day to God: at 4 a.m. everyone gathers in the church for the morning service. The service ends at 7.00, and from that time the sisters free time, in which sisters can pray, read, and relax. At 9.30 the nuns go to the refectory for lunch, singing. After lunch, the sisters go to obediences, which they perform until 16.00 with a break for a short afternoon snack. Then Vespers is celebrated, after which the sisters again go to dinner with the singing of liturgical hymns. After dinner until 18.30 – free time. Next is Little Compline, after which the so-called silence begins, when everyone, without exception, remains silent. At 19.00 everyone goes to their cells, where they fulfill their monastic rule, devoting this time only to spiritual pursuits - reading and prayer.
The number of sisters of the monastery is increasing (today 150 people live here), but the living space has not yet been increased. Therefore, the nuns are forced to sleep on bunk beds, 5-6 people per cell. The exception is senior nuns and schema nuns, who have separate cells.
4. Nuns do not communicate with the outside world or with each other.
Idle talk, of course, is not welcome in the monastery. But the sisters communicate with each other constantly. Quarrels, of course, do not happen here, but disagreements - people remain people - sometimes do happen. But mutual grievances and misunderstandings are not a heavy burden to bear the next day; the sisters are reconciled before sunset. “Forgive” is one of the most important monastic words.
Indeed, there are no fascinating secular novels or televisions in the monastery. But not because it is FORBIDDEN. But because nuns have NO need for this. It is difficult for people living in the world to understand this. It remains to be taken for granted. The fact remains: if you put a TV, say, in the monastery foyer, and unfold it for public access newspapers, magazines and other secular literature, none of the nuns even raise an eyebrow, become interested or take a look. No one here has any heart for this.
But the sisters read spiritual literature greedily. There is even a queue for new books.
6. In the monastery they live on bread and water.
Despite the fact that the nuns observe all fasts, do not eat meat, and do not eat animal products on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, their diet cannot be called meager. The menu for the month in advance is approved by the abbess.
Of course, there are no snacks in the monastery. In the sense that, passing by the refectory, no one would think of grabbing something tasty. Simply because it is not accepted. But, when you get tired while doing obedience, you can drink coffee or tea. By the way, for those sisters who are on a diet for health reasons, separate dishes are prepared and they eat according to an individual schedule.
7. Nuns are prohibited from visiting doctors.
Medical assistance to nurses, if necessary, is mandatory. One of the nuns of the monastery is a doctor by profession. Healing is her main obedience. But, if one of the sisters requires a more in-depth examination, the monastery goes to the hospital. In some cases, doctors themselves come to the monastery. The monastery does not neglect any means of combating the disease. After all, as they say here, an illness distracts from the main thing and does not allow one to lead a normal spiritual life. Why endure fruitless torment if you have a headache, when you can take a pill and then have the strength to both pray and work?
Rada BOZHENKO
We thank the sisters of the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery for their help in preparing the material.
Abbess Victorina (Perminova)
Approaching the 700th anniversary of the birth of the Hegumen of the Russian Land, we are talking about the monastery, founded with the blessing of St. Sergius, with the abbess of the Nativity of the Mother of God stauropegic convent, Abbess Victorina (Perminova). How does the monastery live today? Does modern monastic life have its own distinctive features? Why do many people love God, but few become monks? This is what our conversation with Matushka is about.
Mother, bless! Tell us a little about your monastery: its history, nuns, how does the monastery live today?
The history of our monastery goes back more than six centuries. It was founded in 1386 by the mother of the hero of the Battle of Kulikovo, Prince Vladimir the Brave, Maria Andreevna Serpukhovskaya, with the blessing of her confessor - St. Sergius Radonezh. As you know, per day 
Christmas Holy Mother of God Victory was won in the Battle of Kulikovo. The monastery became a monument to this victory, which is why it is dedicated to the Nativity of the Virgin Mary. St. Sergius gave the monastery strict social regulations; the first sisters were widows and orphans of the soldiers who died on the Kulikovo field. Starting from St. blgv. Prince Dimitry Donskoy and St. Euphrosyne of Moscow, the monastery was patronized by great princes, kings, and representatives of eminent families. The wife of Vasily III was tonsured here Grand Duchess Solomonia Saburova - Rev. Sofia Suzdalskaya. The monastery survived Time of Troubles: he was protected by the surrounding residents under the leadership of Prince Dmitry Pozharsky, whose house was located next door, on Bolshaya Lubyanka Street. In 1812, one of the units of Napoleon’s army broke the gates and burst into the monastery, but the robbery and outrages were stopped by a miracle from the icon of St. Nicholas. The soldier, who tried to tear the rich frame from the icon, was so injured that he became numb and could not move. Fear fell on the invaders, and they no longer touched the monastery shrines and did not harm civilians hiding from the enemy on the monastery territory.
Before the revolution, the monastery flourished. It was led by the abbess, experienced in spiritual life, Abbess Iuvenalia (Lovenetskaya), whose confessor was St. right John of Kronstadt. Father John served in our monastery in 1906. The monastery was closed in 1922 by the atheistic authorities, but the spirit of the monastery did not fade away. Some sisters were able to remain as tenants on the monastery territory. Unfortunately, they did not live long enough to see the opening of the monastery. In 1993, on the day of remembrance of the Radonezh saints, which is significant for us, Holy Synod decided to revive the monastery. The ever-memorable His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II blessed to be the confessor of the monastery of Archpriest Boris Nikolaev (1914-2005) - a confessor who suffered persecution for his faith, went through prisons and a camp and had colossal spiritual and life experience. The monastery owes its formation to him. We are very grateful to His Holiness Patriarch Kirill for his kind, fatherly attitude towards the monastery.
Through the prayers of the Hierarchy, our mentors and predecessors, the monastery is being revived today and its nuns are living. There is a place for prayer and work in their lives, and their inner work, of course, is hidden from people. It can be partly evidenced by our attitude towards the world around us. If we talk about the external activities of the monastery, then it has Sunday schools for children and adults, church singing school, social center “Merciful Samaritan” for help low-income families and homeless people, meeting clubs for Orthodox youth “Molodezhka” and “Rovesnik”; the monastery has an official website.
- Please describe the life of a nun in your monastery, the monastic way of life.
The day begins with prayer. From 5 o'clock in the morning the sisters pray at Midnight Office, Matins, and Liturgy. Then follows a short rest and 
breakfast, then the sisters do obedience. At 3 p.m. there is lunch, then the ninth hour, vespers, compline, and sisterhood are celebrated. After the rule, the sisters go to their cells, read and do handicrafts; those who do not have time finish their work in obedience. On the eve of Sundays and major holidays, at 5 p.m. the sisters go to the All-Night Vigil, and the next day at 7 or 9 a.m. to the Liturgy. During obediences, the nuns of the monastery work in churches (there are 4 churches in the monastery), in the refectory, candle room, on the choir, in the prosphora, bakery, in the monastery garden, sewing room, office, Sunday and church singing schools at the monastery, social center. The monastery also has a farmstead in the Volokolamsk region, where agricultural work is carried out. Each nun has many different tasks and responsibilities. The most important thing is not what exactly the sister does, but how she does it and what her internal state is. Ideally, the life of a nun is a life before God. This inner life. Everything begins within us: both the Kingdom of God and hell. The Holy Fathers advise cutting off and rejecting sinful thoughts at the very beginning, and gradually eradicating those passions that, unfortunately, have already developed, with the help of repentance and opposite good deeds, thoughts, and feelings. This is the main, main monastic work. The nun’s goal is union with God, which is the highest happiness not only for her, but also for those for whom she prays. The spiritual perfection that a nun strives for is the depth of humility and sacrificial love, when a person becomes like Christ. The path to perfection runs through sorrows and difficulties. However, monastic life, if it is carried out correctly, is full of joy, because its essence is repentance, and in true repentance there is no place for despondency. Of course, nuns are not angels, but people who strive to serve God. We sin like all people, and we worry about the same things as everyone else. But the monk worries more and more acutely, because he understands that every sin alienates a person from God, and he has compassion for everyone from the bottom of his heart. To the best of our ability, we try to follow the rules of the monastic community so that it is not a formality and we understand what we are doing and why. Of course, if a sister is sick or has an urgent matter in the monastery or outside it, she may deviate in some way from the general routine. The main thing is that this is done with the blessing, that is, with the permission and knowledge of the abbess or older sisters.
Do you think monks from different eras are similar to each other or do modern monasticism have its own distinctive features?
- Monasticism and its ideals in the 21st century remain the same as before. The Spirit of God acts in the Church just as in ancient times. About the differences Venerable Seraphim Sarovsky said that the monks of modern times do not lead the same life as their predecessors, because they do not have the determination to strive. The lack of determination to live according to the Gospel commandments and the rules of the Holy Fathers is a stumbling block for modern monks. But we can also talk about the loss of spiritual and moral guidelines in our days. People come to the monastery from the society in which they were raised and live. Many of them are morally crippled, have no concept not only of Orthodoxy, but also of normal life in general (not to mention spirituality). Therefore, modern mentors have to be, to some extent, merciful Samaritans. Every soul is a Christian by nature. At any time, what is important is a person’s desire to follow the path of God, and God, seeing this desire, helps him.
- Who can become a nun in your monastery?
An Orthodox Christian who really has a desire to live like a monk - not only to observe the monastery rules, but also to be a nun in her soul. And, of course, it is possible to be a nun if there are no obstacles, such as, for example, serious mental illness, which requires different living conditions, a different daily routine. Marriage, small or minor children, and so on are also obstacles. Each case is individual - there are pros and cons. The will of God is open to people of high spiritual life, but we can only partially cognize it in our everyday life, in the most ordinary affairs and circumstances. And in contact with a person, the will of God is also often revealed, and it becomes clear whether he needs to be in a monastery or not.
Let's imagine this situation: an Orthodox girl decided to devote her life to God, wanted to become a nun and came to you for advice. What will you tell her?
I think that I would advise first to take a closer look at monastic life, attend divine services, the sisterhood, and attend obediences in a monastery. First of all, a person must feel for himself whether his soul is disposed towards the monastery he is visiting, whether he likes it in the monastery or not. If a girl wants to enter our monastery, then I would ask about her concepts and ideas, the circumstances of her life, I would tell her briefly how our monastery lives, what is important in monasticism, in Christianity. I would talk to her about how God needs our heart, our inner disposition, and about how monastic rules can support and preserve a good dispensation of the soul, and why it is important to observe them. I would recommend that she read the Gospel, the Apostolic Epistles, and interpretations of the Gospel and Apostolic readings more carefully. In a word, the person who comes must become acquainted with the correct view of monasticism and Christianity.
If you agree, what should a potential novice learn and tune in to before becoming a sister of the monastery? Is there a generally accepted form of entering a monastery or is an individual approach required in each case? Do you need Moscow registration to apply?
It will be easier for a sister to live in a monastery, and wherever she happens to be, if she learns to trust God. Trust in God 
acquired through obedience. Since God will not appear to us Himself and tell us what needs to be done, there is a Hierarchy and a specific spiritual mentor. In the monastery, the spiritual mother of the sisters is the abbess. We give the sister a cell, and I determine her obedience; my sister consults me if she has questions. When you manage to establish not only business contact, but also an internal, spiritual connection, this is very good. Then I will know what is happening to my sister and how I can help her. When being accepted into a monastery, of course, an individual approach is necessary, but there are also some general principles. First, a person must take a closer look at monastic life while still living in the world. Then, those who wish to enter the monastery can live in it for some time, at least a year. During this period, we can take a better look at her, and she at us. If she and we feel that her place is in the monastery and no obstacles will arise, a petition is written addressed to His Holiness Patriarch. Moscow registration is not required.
What difficulties might a novice encounter in the first days of life in a monastery? What temptations await her? Is there something special that a person from the world is not prepared for when coming to the monastery?
It is difficult to cut off your will and overcome pride, pride, selfishness, which modern people highly developed. The winner is the one who obeys the monastic rules, obeys the abbess and elder sisters, and tries to live not for himself, but for God and his neighbors. I can’t say anything new about temptations: they come from the world with its temptations, human nature infected with sin, and the enemy of our salvation - the devil. The Apostle John the Theologian named the main causes of temptations found in ourselves and in the world around us: “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life” (1 John 2:16). It is no coincidence that the first step of the spiritual ladder is St. John Climacus is a renunciation of the world. The world here is understood in the sense of sin, but it also means everything through which sin can act. Therefore, monastics leave home, family, friends, property and everything that connects them with the world. Separation from the world is not painless, but it is necessary for monastics. The Savior said: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the Kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62). This does not mean that the monks do not love their loved ones - they love them very much and pray for them. It is important that natural, kindred love, old habits and attachments are not extinguished spiritual aspiration person. As a person grows in God, a person’s love will acquire a different quality, becoming spiritual and all-encompassing. The Holy Fathers also warn that “newbies” and inexperienced people have temptations from the “right” side. Through pride and self-rule, a person begins to strive for high feats and great works that exceed his strength. Here we can offer a tried and tested remedy - obedience. What might a person coming from the world be unprepared for? I am often convinced that he is not ready to see and accept himself as he is: fallen, sinful and weak. Not ready for it to fall away" rose-colored glasses", through which he saw himself as good. He is afraid of his real self, but there is no need to be afraid. Knowing yourself is the goal of spiritual life. Real, not dreamy, spiritual life begins with self-knowledge. Once Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, took an exam at a theological seminary. He asked the seminarians the same question: “How can one be saved?” One student responded, “Humility.” “Oh, you proud man! – the Lord responded. “Do you think you have humility?” The second seminarian wanted to get “in tune” and said: “With your prayers.” “What a sycophant,” the examiner said. And the third answered with tears: “With my sins - only by the grace of God, Master.” They say that the Metropolitan hugged that seminarian and gave him the highest score. This simple story helps us understand one of the main laws of spiritual life: by knowing ourselves, we understand that we are saved only by the grace of God. And in a humble state, a person will bypass all the snares of the enemy’s temptations, as was revealed to St. Anthony the Great.
- What obediences await the nuns in the first years of life in the monastery?
- Thank God, in the monastery there is no such thing as career growth, there are no “clean” and “menial” jobs, “honorable” and “low” obediences. All obediences are equal before God. There are no easy crosses, and you don’t choose your cross. Physical labor is useful because it involves necessary for a person movement and stress, tires the young and healthy body and directs his energy in the right direction. As St. John Chrysostom said, iron rusts and water stagnates if they are not used - approximately the same thing happens today to a person who avoids moderate physical activity. It happens that sisters’ obediences change, and this is useful, as it helps you feel in the place of another person, not judge him and at the same time realize your weakness. Both a novice and a nun who lived in the monastery for many years, they know the word of the Lord: “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). Let each sister prepare herself to serve God and her neighbors where she will be placed, and remember that the Lord is merciful: He will not give labor and will not allow temptation beyond her strength.
Can you imagine the following situation: You observed a new novice and realized that she was not of the monastic spirit? How will you tell her about this?
From the first days of meeting the candidate, together with her we try to figure out what the purpose of her entering the monastery is. You can think and say one thing, but mean and feel something completely different. If the goal is wrong, for example, a person is looking for fame, power, a life without worries and similar things that are very far from monastic ideals, then we look at whether there is a desire to change the goal and priorities. If there is desire and repentance, we will, with God's help, direct joint efforts towards new goal. With the ardent desire and zeal of a person, the Lord will help him acquire a monastic dispensation and in an incomprehensible way will change his soul, consciousness, and concepts. If the candidate does not want to live like a monk, then she herself feels it, and we can begin a calm and confidential conversation about the advisability of her stay in the monastery. One cannot help but say about those who have already been accepted as nuns and live in the monastery. In any monastery, as in the first apostolic community, there are no identical personalities, but there are their own Peters, and Pauls, and John the Theologians, and they also have their own Judas. Until the last moment, the Lord Jesus Christ turned to Judas and saw the possibility of his salvation. However, He did not take away the gift of freedom from Judas, just as He does not take it away from each of us. Even someone who has lived in a monastery for a long time can lose the spirit of Christ if he indulges in passions and negligence. And our first concern is to warm up and support the monastic spirit in every possible way so that it does not fade away in us.
- What are you guided by when giving your sister this or that obedience? Does her education and professional skills (if any) matter? 
Here, I think, an individual approach is needed, because the most important thing is the salvation of the immortal human soul. You have to think a lot, pray, observe how useful or unprofitable it is for a sister to engage in this or that activity. Both skills, education, and abilities can serve an excellent service in the cause of God and benefit the monastery. But it also happens that, according to the words of the Apostle, “knowledge puffs up” (1 Cor. 8:1), but in reality love and humility edify everyone and bring benefit.
- Do the nuns of your monastery receive spiritual education? How does this happen?
The sisters receive spiritual education: the monastery holds weekly classes for them in the subjects “Fundamentals of Faith” and “Liturgics.” I consider this useful for the sisters and for myself personally, and I am glad that we have the opportunity, without leaving the walls of the monastery, to improve our educational level. This helps not only to give correct, competent answers to those who ask, but also to understand what kind of God we believe in. After all, often, due to their passions, people think incorrectly about God. Learning about the properties of the Lord and His economy, delving into His Commandments, into the meaning Orthodox worship, man makes up correct concepts, which boil down to the fact that “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:16).
- Your monastery is located in the very center of Moscow, are there many pilgrims to the monastery? Are you happy with them?
- Both pilgrims and excursion groups visit the monastery. We try to welcome everyone with love and joy. Groups wishing to have the sisters give a special large excursion will make arrangements in advance. But no matter who comes and when, we try to help everyone in any way we can, tell them about the monastery, and lead them to the monastery shrines. Behind the candle box, the sisters have special literature about the monastery. We keep a book of reviews: the reviews are good. There are pilgrims from abroad: for example, this year we were visited by large group pilgrims from Romania, several groups of pilgrims from France, one of them from the convent of the Transfiguration of the Lord in Terrassona, led by the monastery’s confessor, Archimandrite Ilia (Rago). When Father Elijah was visiting us, he talked with the sisters, answered our questions and spoke very well about repentance and the essence of monastic life: “True repentance lies in a person realizing sin, having the determination to correct himself and firm hope for God's mercy. For He who commanded people to forgive “seventy times seven” is always ready to forgive those who repent. And, no matter what the fall, despite the fact that the temple of the soul is devastated by sin, repentance brings down grace and Divine light, which illuminates the soul and changes a person’s life in an indescribable way. The most important thing in monastic life is, following the example of our Savior, to subordinate one’s own human will to the Divine Will.”
Nowadays, a lot of unusual things are happening in monastic life: the Synodal Department for Monasteries and Monasticism holds conferences and readings covering issues of monastic life, and the Department’s website is working. Do you introduce the sisters to current events and topics of reports? Do monks need all this, in your opinion?
Our monastery has a tradition of holding spiritual conversations. Usually the topics of conversation are what concerns us: pressing issues of the sisters, problems common to all concerning the fight against passions, difficulties in acquiring virtues, fulfilling the Gospel 
commandments, relationships with neighbors. During the conversations, we not only read the Holy Fathers, but also get acquainted with the materials of conferences and readings held by the Synodal Department for Monasteries and Monasticism. I read reports to the sisters, they ask me questions, we discuss what we read together, try to benefit ourselves, think about what and how we can apply it in our lives. I also read to the sisters (or let them read on their own) the sermons of our High Hierarch - His Holiness Patriarch Kirill, the words of Archbishop Theognostus of Sergiev Posad, which I manage to write down or find, the conversations of Metropolitan Athanasius of Limassol on different topics and much more. We take many of the materials for discussions from the website of the Synodal Department for Monasteries and Monasticism. I consider the holding of conferences, readings and the work of the Department’s website to be very necessary and important for the life of the Church, useful not only for monastics, but also for the laity. True monks are laconic, and if they speak or write, it is about “the only thing needed” (see: Luke 10:42). The word from experience is effective: even far from church life it reveals to people simple truths that spiritual life is possible, real, that it is lived by people just like us, and... Why not, in fact, try to live like this?
Mother, please tell us why you wanted to be a nun? How can a person recognize this desire in himself? Many want to be with God, but few become monks - why?
The fact that I wanted to become a nun is not my merit. My childhood and youth passed under the stern and loving gaze spiritual father- Abbot Isaiah (Budyukin). He began his monastic path in the Svyatogorsk Holy Dormition Monastery, where the monks lived according to the Athonite Rule. Hegumen Isaiah was a real monk: seeing his life, love, feat, I wanted to imitate him. Foreseeing the future, he gradually prepared me for monasticism, and now, through his holy prayers, the Lord gave me the happiness of being a nun, although I understand how far I am from the ideal. How to recognize the desire for monasticism in yourself? I think that there is no need to specifically recognize anything in yourself. The grace of vocation acts in a person in such a way that his heart sometimes gets ahead of what we call “logic”, “reason”. With God's help, he overcomes all difficulties and obstacles and decides to cross the threshold of the monastery. And then the Lord continues to lead this man along the monastic path - this is obvious both to his spiritual mentors and to himself. The monastery is a university of spiritual life. But even at the university you can study very well and drop out without getting a profession, or you can be an underachiever, but strive for knowledge, improve and become an excellent specialist and even a teacher, the main thing is desire. Anyone who wants to become a monk must trust God, on whom the success of every undertaking depends, and ask for His help so as not to stray from the narrow and thorny path of monastic life. It is no coincidence that the Lord said that the path is narrow and the gate that leads to life is narrow, so few follow it. Monasticism is also called bloodless martyrdom, because a person cuts off his passions, which have become akin to him and have become his second nature, and suffers for other people. As one ascetic said: “Praying for people means shedding blood.” I am deeply convinced that no one should be attracted or invited to the monastery. Let the monastery begin with a few, but true monks. But they will become an example for many, and thousands will be saved around them.
Photographer: Vladimir Khodakov.
Yesterday, the portal “Orthodoxy and the World” published an article about the Virgin Mary of the Nativity from. Today we bring to your attention an interview with the abbess of this monastery.
Abbess Feofila (Lepeshinskaya) believes that there should be no secrets in a good monastery.
—Which pilgrim do you think is “right”? What is the general meaning of a pilgrimage to a monastery?
— The correct pilgrim is the one who comes to pray. It is to focus on this life. I am convinced that a Christian who loves God certainly loves monasticism and secretly yearns for monasticism. I know a lot married women who would like to go to a monastery. It is clear that this will never come true, although the Lord sees and kisses all our thoughts. The pilgrim should be attracted to this very thing - to live in the fullness of the Divine presence, a monastic life.
But still, more often than not, people come to the monastery simply to piously and relax for free. fresh air. Or just out of curiosity.
- What can a pilgrim do for short time learn about monastic life?
— In monasteries it often happens like this: nuns walk along their own paths and do not communicate with anyone. We do not intentionally separate pilgrims from sisters. We do not have a separate refectory, individual products. Monks live not to save themselves, but to give light to the world. We ourselves do not go out into the world, but if the world comes to us, it must receive something from us. Therefore, our pilgrim, if he is really interested in it, can understand everything. We do not prohibit any communication, we do not prohibit movement around the territory, we have a common meal, the same obediences. The dean doesn't know what job to put her sister in and what job to put the pilgrim in. We have no secrets - there shouldn't be any in Christianity. There is a mystery - it is Christ, but there can be no secrets.
—Can monks do what they love or do they have to go through the “cowshed”?
- If we talk about the cowshed, then from the first day this obedience has been carried out by the same sister. I've tried many times to replace her, but she doesn't want to. Firstly, she loves it, and secondly, she really likes that no one bothers her there, she lives “according to her own rules.” So you are wrong to be dismissive of the barn.
We do not have the goal of taking a monk through all the obediences. It would be good if it were so, but now city people come to the monastery, often already sick. There are sisters who can do everything, but there are also those who cannot do many obediences. I guess I would like to let everyone go through the kitchen, because the kitchen is a simple thing, a woman’s task, everyone should be able to do it. But this doesn’t always work out. Modern man little can. And there is obedience in the monastery for everyone. The Psalter, for example, can be read by even the sickest. We have reading 24 hours a day.
In our monastery, four hours a day are allotted for work, and I ask everyone to work conscientiously, as for the Lord. From lunch until the evening service the sisters have free time, everyone goes to their cells - some read, some pray, some rest. This is important. There must be moderation in everything.
— What else do monks do besides prayer and obedience?
- You definitely need to study. Monasteries should be lights, models. There is such a tendency in convents- do not read more than what is given at the meal. It is believed that if you have the strength to read, it means you are underworked - go work! But, in my opinion, a person should work so much that he still has the opportunity to pray, study and simply remain human. A very tired person is incapable of anything.
On Sundays we all study, from September to Easter, according to the seminary program. We gather in the evening, distribute topics for reports, prepare abstracts, and give a speech. Sometimes we invite lecturers. We have already gone through the liturgy, moral theology, Biblical history, Greek, Christian psychology. This year we will begin to study the patristics - the holy fathers. I also have a plan to organize a course of lectures for the sisters on world literature, Russian literature, the history of painting and the history of music. Literature is an opportunity to see in living examples what we read in the catechism.
Saint Basil the Great wrote in his wonderful article “On the Benefits of Pagan Writings for Youth” that reading expands the soul. The soul must be juicy, imbued with the juices of culture. Our library has a lot fiction. I even bought Joyce. To be honest, I don’t think that the sisters will read it, but let them have the opportunity. Our sisters also read the Iliad. Even some kind of postmodernism, this longing for God, is also interesting.
—What should not be in a good monastery?
— The monasticism that we lost in the 19th century was much worse than that, what is now. There was social stratification - poor monks worked for rich monks. To “buy” a cell, it was necessary to make a large contribution. And those who could not contribute worked as maids for wealthy monks. This should not happen in a monastery. Maybe it's good that we are now starting from scratch.
We all have Soviet genes in us - we are completely devoid of respect for the individual. When the revival of the monasteries had just begun, there was no one to appoint as leaders, and it so happened that the heads of the monasteries were people who were very immature spiritually. And so some worldly woman becomes an abbess, everything is served to her, her laundry is done, she has three cell attendants, and she only humbles and educates everyone. For some reason, it is believed that the boss should humble the monks, that it is useful for a person to be oppressed, trampled, and humiliated. It's not really helpful to anyone. A person is designed in such a way that if he is broken, he will dodge, and this is the worst thing for a monastic soul. It should be simple, truthful.
—What should a good monastery have?
— I think a good monastery is where people smile, where they rejoice. The Lord found us all in the trash heap, washed us, cleaned us and put us in His bosom. We live in Christ's bosom. We have everything. Even a lot of unnecessary stuff. So we burned out, and even that turned out to be for the better. How can we not rejoice?
Another sign of a good monastery is if no one wants to leave it. There are monasteries where the monks are always on the move - either in Greece, or in Italy, or at holy springs. You can’t get our sisters out of the monastery anywhere. I haven't been anywhere myself either. We don’t even have vacations—what kind of vacation could a monk have? What should he rest from - from prayer? There is no compulsion in this - it just happens. The sisters don't even want to go home. And this is a good sign!
