Why do you want to bite your loved one? What is the name for the irresistible desire to bite a loved one or squeeze an animal?

One day, a relative who worked at the clinic came to visit and told me a story that happened literally before her eyes.

A young man entered the surgeon’s office. Left hand he was bandaged and blood was seeping through the bandages. The nurse carefully removed the bandages and invited the doctor. The doctor examined the wounds on his hand, shook his head and said: “Yes, the dog bit you badly!” The young man said in an embarrassed voice: “It’s not a dog, but a friend who bit me...”

Such cases in medical practice quite a lot, but is this phenomenon so widespread:

There is an opinion that men bite more often, and women usually scratch. However, scientists say otherwise:

Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it's probably female.

The most striking example of this is mosquitoes. Human and livestock Only female mosquitoes annoy with their biting, not males. This also applies to more highly organized animals. Females of predatory animals are always more aggressive than males - this is a fact. But what about people? Do women really love to bite, these cute creatures? It’s unfortunate, but this is so, although it’s rare that a woman is ready to admit it. For example, women I know indignantly and unanimously declared: “We don’t bite!” I just want to agree with them. But…

Dream books—books with the interpretation of dreams—have long been very popular among women. Regarding our topic, it states the following:

If a woman dreamed that she bit a man, then this signifies passionate love and a strong family. –

Wow!

WITH men's dreams things are completely different .

If a man dreams of a woman, then this is already a sign of impending troubles, and if this lady also bites, then in the near future all the troubles of the world will fall on his head.

Quite remarkable too!

Dream books have accumulated centuries of human experience, and I would not immediately reject what is written there, but think about it...

In the vault folk wisdom I found something else very interesting on our topic:

Parable about a Woman.
Once upon a time there lived a wonderful girl. No one found any flaws in her, she was Beauty, Grace and Perfection itself. One young man fell in love with her and decided to marry her. I came to woo her. The beauty gave her consent, but set one condition: “I will become your wife, I will love, respect and obey you, I will serve you faithfully and you will never know grief with me, and your life will be filled with joy and happiness. But promise me only one thing: once a month you will let me go from you for one night and you will never ask where I am going or what I am doing.” The young man thought that this is not so difficult condition and it doesn’t mean anything when Beloved is nearby, and, of course, he agreed. They got married and began to live in Love and Joy.

The woman became a faithful life partner for her Man. She surrounded him with attention and affection, bestowed him with the warmth of her heart and tender love. She served him faithfully and honestly, their home was a cup full of happiness, joy, bliss. Nothing darkened the man’s life and he did not know care and sadness. But, as agreed, every month for one night the Woman left home without telling her life partner, and he did not ask where she spent this time. This is how they lived for a long time, but a vague anxiety began to gradually take possession of the Man. And every time his wife left him, this anxiety grew and became stronger: “Where does she spend her time without me? What is she doing? Why can’t I ask her about this?” And finally, he decided to follow his Woman.

One night, when the Woman silently left the house, her Man quietly followed her. He saw her walk across the field, cross the river and go deep into the forest. In the forest she disappeared behind an old stump. And then, approaching the stump, the Man suddenly saw how his Woman threw off her clothes, turned into a snake and, curling up in a ring, began to hiss and bite her tail. Frightened, he screamed and revealed his presence. The woman, seeing her Man here, approached him and said: “What have you done? Just for one night you could not let me go without worrying about yourself. Didn’t I serve you faithfully, didn’t I love you? You didn’t know caring.” and sadness with me, and in return I asked for myself only one night a month. And now, since you have learned my secret, I no longer need to leave home and hide in the forest."

Since then, a Woman no longer hides from a Man in order to turn into a snake, hiss and bite. And the Man forgot what life with his Beloved is without care and sadness. And in pursuing his Woman, taking her as his wife, every Man dreams of life in paradise with a beautiful, caring, perfect Woman, but with her he receives a Snake, which now bites his Man instead of its tail.

In the year of the Snake eastern calendar This parable sounds especially relevant...

By the way, in Russian folk tale“The Frog Princess” is also a transformation beautiful girl, but not into a snake, but into a frog. If analogies with the parable about a woman are appropriate here, then I can imagine what a “happy” life Vasilisa the Beautiful arranged for her husband after her rescue from the clutches of Kashchei the Immortal! Poor Ivan Tsarevich!

Now let’s ask ourselves a question: why do women bite? Perhaps the reason lies in the nature of women. Or maybe men need to look for the root of evil in themselves?

YULIA MOROZOVA

Family and child psychologist in London, director of family documentaries

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed with feelings and emotions that we want not just to lick or bite our loved one’s ear, but to naturally eat him, swallow him. Absorb, as psychoanalysts would say. I dare to suggest two options why this happens:

1. The desire to merge completely and irrevocably. So that we become united as much as possible. Reality is not important here, I want the article to be a single whole, even in such an intricate way. This is a way to merge with him in the ecstasy of sensuality and physicality. In addition, a loved one usually smells very tasty - and this makes you want to lick, bite, and eat him. We have an unconscious desire to eat the most delicious thing we have. Small children are also very tasty to smell! And I want to take a bite. In this way we also try to cope with the power of emotions that covers us

2. A person experiences ambivalent feelings: love and hatred at the same time. We often find ourselves in dependent relationships that cause suffering. The partner is so close and, at the same time, far away that you want to destroy him. Swallow without choking

ANNA IZOTOVA

Jungian psychoanalyst

Everything needs to be considered on a case by case basis. From the point of view depth psychology, such a desire can be interpreted as the desire of the psyche to “accept” another person, some of his properties, qualities, character traits, in order to somehow operate with this “pill” in his life in relation to himself or to others. Or as a desire to understand this person more, to “digest” him, to make him “yours,” to find out “what kind of fruit this is.”

As, for example, among ancient peoples, and even among some modern civilizations, there are ideas that if you eat the heart of a lion, you will become brave; and not only a lion, another person too, if we remember cannibalistic societies.

If we are talking about the second, as the desire to understand another, then we can observe something similar in children when, at the appropriate age, they dismember everything: insects, bears, dolls, cars, pick at fruit, and so on.

The mechanisms of the emergence of concepts in the psyche are the same. But again, you need to consider each specific situation, track the person’s thoughts, feelings, and associations.

SASHA NOVIKOVA

User The Question

In Tagalog there is a word equivalent to this phenomenon.

Gigil (Tagalog, Philippines) - irresistible desire bite the object of your sympathy due to an excess of feelings.

In my opinion, this phenomenon is associated with human psychology and his moral attitudes. Each of us shows love in our own way, and psychologist such as Gary Champan describes this in his book “The Five Love Languages.”

And one of these languages ​​will be the language of “touch”. And, probably, when a person ceases to have enough of those static touches, he begins to show another form of tactile communication, namely bites.

EVGENY YAKOVLEV

psychologist-consultant, business coach

Uh... Communion... Body and blood... And they are not joking, and not about it symbolically - they believe that they are eating it for real (!!) (- such a sacrament) wikipedia.org.

This is the motive of fusion: to become one. Well, in love relationships, in contrast to the pious, is usually limited to psychological fusion, and only for a while. Because there are still two different people, and illusions, even the most healthy ones (your hand is my hand, your leg is my leg, my desires are your desires...) - illusions are destroyed by reality.

In general, it’s all about appropriating, attaching to yourself forever - both ritual cannibalism and eating your loved one.

VALERIYA SVIRENKO

Under-ecologist, under-arachnologist, under-perfumer.

I'll tell you more. There is even a special genre of porn associated with swallowing the object of sympathy - Vore.

EKATERINA NIKITINA

History, music, self-flagellation.

perhaps this is one of the echoes of the pyramid of needs. physiological need in food and sex (in this context we consider a loved one specifically as a sexual object) intertwine with each other, forming such a desire.

OLYA PRANTSKETIS

User TheQuestion


In this case, I always remember the cartoon, where - one daisy, two daisies, remember? Teddy bear was eating snowflakes in winter and suddenly a bunny comes up. The bear says: “I’ll eat you and you’ll always be with me”)))) Love... that’s how it is... I, too, always say: “I’ll eat you, swallow you and won’t let you go anywhere.”

VLAD FROLOV

KBI student. I'm sure psychology is interesting.

You have problems)) you urgently need to see a psychotherapist before anyone gets hurt) because if you asked about “bite”, it would be clear that in this way you were restraining your internal emotional balance, i.e. the expression of the strength of your emotions in an unnatural way.

EKATERINA ZATSARENSKAYA

bored linguistics student interested in cultural studies and psychology

Attraction to a desired and beloved object is explained by physiology and sexology. It's all about pheromones. Or the smell. Often, along with someone’s expression of lust, one hears the message that “they like the smell.”

Another factor that creates strong sexual attraction is the compatibility of sexual temperaments. If both partners are sufficiently excitable and hot, then they almost “eat” each other.

Have you ever had the desire, when you are communicating with someone you care about, to bite him? Most people have experienced this at least once in their lives. Scientists explain the reasons for this phenomenon different countries could not be found for decades. This mystery troubled the minds of many people until English scientists figured out the reason. So why do you want to bite a person?

We need to start with the fact that different people feelings manifest themselves in different ways. Some cannot restrain themselves and literally rush into the arms of their loved one, while others, on the contrary, are very restrained and do not show their true intentions. This is explained different quantities happiness hormones: dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline, endorphins, oxytocin and vasopressin, which are released in the human body. Those who are more active in relationships have more of them, those who are passive have less. This difference has been a problem for many couples, often leading to divorce.

The methods of showing your affection are also different. For example, hug, kiss, just touch any part of the body. This is a completely ordinary manifestation of tenderness towards another. But what if, instead of tenderness, slightly unusual methods appear, such as the desire to bite a person? Doesn't this mean lack of feelings or perversion? Scientists from Yale University have found out the reason.

The fact is that our brain is very complex and confusing. Depending on many factors that influenced the person before the event, the reaction to it may be different. For example, when we win the lottery, we may cry with happiness, laugh, or want to hit someone. This is normal, this is just the variability of our consciousness. And, depending on the internal state, the action that we do in order to show emotions will also change. This characteristic feature humans, because there are a very small number of creatures that show one reaction in different ways.

And now main question: « Why do you want to bite a person?" This needs to be broken down into several subcategories so that to the fullest understand the whole point. In total, a similar phenomenon manifests itself in relation to a person in two interpretations: between individuals of the opposite sex and from a mother to her child.

In the first case, everything is quite simple. We feel attracted to our loved one, trying with all our might to show them. Ordinary words seem like too little manifestation to us, so we use the language of “touch” described by Gary Champan in the book “The Five Love Languages.” Among others, this method is the most sensual and shows great affection. One of the forms of manifestation of “tactile” communication is bites. By doing this, we are trying to show all the emotions that are seething within us. But sometimes all this is so strong that you want to literally eat your other half completely. There is a theory why this happens. Psychoanalysts explain everything by saying that this is how a person tries to “merge in ecstasy” with his object of desire. In addition, we subconsciously choose the soul mate who personally smells most attractive to us. What do people do with something that smells delicious? That's right, let's eat. But the second theory is based on the inconsistency of the feelings that we experience. At the same time there is both love and hatred for the beloved. That is, we want to hug and touch as much as possible, because we love, and we want to destroy the object of desire, so as not to experience suffering due to the fact that we cannot fully connect, because we hate. It is because of this confrontation in our minds that thoughts arise to bite or swallow our neighbor.

In the second case, everything is much more complicated. Now this is connected not with human psychology, but with instincts and evolutionary processes. The fact is that mothers experience a certain feeling for their child, similar to hunger. That is, when they see their baby, their emotions are similar to what a starving person feels when looking at delicious food. This has nothing to do with cannibalism, but a completely different phenomenon. The explanation for this phenomenon is very complex and confusing, involving many mechanisms of evolution that have helped us survive. Therefore, all you need to know: such a desire is quite normal, this is not a disease, but only natural processes in the body, during which enzymes necessary for the functioning of the body are released, which force it to act this way.

An interesting assumption on this topic is another theory of the origin of such a feeling. If we like a person for some character trait, we try to absorb it into ourselves like a sponge. Sometimes in a rather drastic way. Like the ancient people, who considered the lion to be a brave animal, and wanted to eat its heart to gain courage. And not only animal organs could end up on the dinner table. Some tribes of cannibal aborigines even had a tradition of eating the heart of the most worthy member of their family. No one refused this fate; it was considered the most worthy death. They themselves wanted this, since such an event was considered the highest manifestation respect. They also believed that thanks to this the gods would notice them and take them into their personal retinue.

There is another theory worthy of attention. It is based on the fact that we are interested in finding out what is inside a person so dear to us, to consider everything in more detail. An example is the desire of children to disassemble, break or tear something, even a living one. This is done out of pure curiosity, there are no evil intentions, it’s just something I wanted to do. This is the case because people are quite inquisitive by nature.

From all of the above, it turns out that you shouldn’t be afraid to express your feelings for your loved one with a bite; this is quite natural. Even if you want to completely eat your loved one, you don’t need to avoid it. It’s better to show your love in this way than without any emotions at all. Although sometimes you need to restrain completely sadistic desires, such as beating a person, or worse.

What is the name of the strongest impulse of love, accompanied by a terrible desire to squeeze and squeeze? What is the irresistible urge to bite a loved one called? Why do these emotions arise towards loved ones and cute animals?

That irresistible feeling when you want to hurt someone out of love and just kiss them is called gigil. This unusual word fully describes the colorful emotion caused by an overabundance of feelings. Sometimes, in a rush of gijil, we actually deliver painful sensations beloved. Extremely relevant with small children and animals.

What is gijil and why does it occur?

This question still does not have any precise scientific explanations. One thing is known: when gijil emotion arises, it is released into the human bloodstream. huge amount adrenaline and endorphin. Moreover, the latter is produced in quantities commensurate with the production during passionate kiss or a gentle hug.

Some scientists suggest that gijil and the construction of this sensation are nothing more than an innate reflex that has been going on for a long time.

If you pay attention to animals, you can also notice that some individuals show something similar to their own, for example, kittens.

This feeling especially often overcomes females. Due to their emotionality, they most often manage to feel this positive experience. The most striking thing is that men's gijil manifests itself with exactly the same force as women's. By the way, usually their perception of emotions is somewhat weaker.

Is it possible to control gigil?

No, this emotion cannot be controlled. Whenever an “object of passion” comes into view, a feeling will inevitably arise. Of course, like any other manifestations of tenderness or passion, you can keep them to yourself.

Surprisingly, the feeling of gijila does not last long - it has a cumulative effect. As soon as the target that you wanted to squeeze and bite from the overflow of emotions will always be next to you, the feelings will fade away. One has only to part with the “victim” - the desire to experience gijil will return.

Faktrum I wondered: why do we do strange things and what is behind this behavior?

1. Reluctance to change toilet paper roll

On the list of difficult things we have to do every day is replacing an empty roll. toilet paper will take last place.

But for some reason, many of us find it difficult to complete this simple procedure. Why? According to psychologists, the reason is not our laziness, but the fact that replacing the roll does not offer us any internal reward for the effort.

Similar household chores, such as taking out the trash or washing the dishes, are almost as boring and there is no special motivation for them either, but at least they give us inner satisfaction, because after completing these tasks the house will stop smelling. there will be no rodents.

Psychologists say that a truly motivating task must include three elements: competence, autonomy and relatedness.

Hard work should be challenging enough for us to feel competent when we finish it. We also need to feel that we have some control over what we do. Plus, this work should give us the feeling that by doing it, we are improving our relationships with loved ones.

2. The desire to bite cute things

Every time a child appears nearby, someone always tells him (always in a cutesy voice) that he will “eat him”, “bite him on the finger” or on some other part of the body. Similar conversations also arise when there are puppies or something else equally cute nearby.

So where do we get this desire to eat cute things as a joke? Scientists have two theories about this. The first is that the “wires” in our brain that are responsible for pleasure “short circuit” in moments of emotion.

When people (and especially women) see a newborn baby, they get the rush of dopamine that occurs, for example, when a person eats a tasty meal. This overlay of meanings makes us subconsciously want to put a cute thing in our mouth.

Another theory is that biting is a form of play seen in many mammals and that it is a manifestation of our animal side. Many animals lightly bite each other and playfully fight among themselves. It is not yet clear why they do this: to hone their fighting skills, to improve motor coordination, or just for fun.

3. Inappropriate laughter

Many of us tend to laugh at completely inappropriate moments - for example, when we see someone fall and hurt themselves or when we convey bad news to someone.

And although we know perfectly well that there is nothing funny about the death of our grandmother, we struggle to contain our fits of laughter at her funeral. Laughter in similar situations doesn't fit in at all social standards, but this happens quite often, and there is a reason for it.

When we laugh in a solemn atmosphere, it does not mean that we are heartless and do not respect others. This is probably a sign that our body is under the influence of a huge emotional stress uses laughter to relieve tension and discomfort.

And the giggle we make when someone falls or otherwise hurts themselves is an evolutionary function that lets the tribe know that although the person may be embarrassed or slightly hurt, there is no serious cause for alarm.

In general, laughter is rarely a reaction to something “legitimately funny.” Neuroscientist Sophie Scott says laughter is the most commonly used method social association, in order to let people know that we like them, that we agree with them, or that we are in the same social group with them.

4. Fascination with psychopaths

Many people are attracted to creepy things, especially psychopaths. Late-night TV shows are filled with crazy killers, and for some reason we find them interesting. What arouses our interest in the most vile type of people?

There are three theories to explain this obsession. The first is that observing psychopaths allows us to temporarily leave our law-abiding lives and imagine ourselves in the shoes of someone who thinks only about himself and does not do anything that we do every day - for example, does not worry about justice or about the feelings of others.

The second theory is that psychopaths are a type of predator, and when we hear about them, it takes us back to the basics of our existence, where there is always a hunter and a prey. Stories about human predators allow us to touch our animal essence without real threat life.

The third theory is that we are attracted to psychopaths for the same reason we are attracted to roller coasters and horror films. Sometimes we just want to be scared, and stories about maniacs can fill that need. And all because fear causes a surge of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which, among other things, is responsible for the feeling of pleasure.

5. Visibility of awareness

Many of us have probably been in a situation where someone randomly asks, “Hey, have you heard of so-and-so?” And we automatically answer: “Yes.” Although if we had time to think about the answer, we would realize that we actually don’t even understand who we are being asked about.

In addition, some people feign knowledge although they know nothing about the subject under discussion. Scientists have studied this psychological crutch and found that most people use it to express their individuality and simply because it is convenient.

Many of us don't have a clear idea of ​​what we really know and what we don't, and so when asked, we may unconsciously falsify our own knowledge.

Another, perhaps more obvious reason The reason why people feign knowledge is because they like to feel like know-it-alls. But why? Scientists say that our society glorifies knowledge, and being knowledgeable in some area is a plus. social status, especially if your parents were also know-it-alls.

6. Crying

Crying seems quite common, and no one would think of calling it strange. But if we dwell on it in more detail, then what is happening is salt water dripping from our eyes into some special emotional moments, - looks a little quirky.

How are eyes, emotions and tears connected? Psychologists argue that crying is primarily a social signal, evolutionarily related to danger signals.

Young animals may make a specific distress call to let other animals know they need help. It has been suggested that crying arose as a way for humans to show their suffering without giving off alarm signals that would make others wary.

WITH evolutionary point From a perspective, this may have been a smart move, since it meant the other members of the tribe only had to look at the crybaby to know he wasn't in trouble. Interestingly, humans are the only species that produces emotional tears. Most other animals stop making danger warning sounds when they become adults.

7. Twitching when falling asleep

70% of people experience involuntary twitching of their limbs when falling asleep. Unfortunately, scientists still do not know why these spasms occur, but they, of course, have certain assumptions.

Some researchers believe that these twitches are nothing more than random reactions that arise due to the fact that our nerves malfunction, moving from a state of wakefulness to a state of sleep.

This is because our bodies don't have switches to press before we go to sleep. Instead, we gradually move from a state where our reticular activating system (the one that regulates the main physiological processes) works in full force, in a state where the ventrolateral system begins to work (it is this system that causes drowsiness and affects sleep cycles).

We can be between these states, for example, when we really want to sleep, or we can begin to fight, firmly positioning ourselves in one state or another. It is because of this struggle, as scientists believe, that malfunctions occur in our “ignition system”, leading to twitching.

8. Gossip

Women are usually considered gossipers, but men are just as guilty of this social transgression. At least one study suggests that men gossip 32% more often than women throughout the day. What is the reason for this?

The fact is that most people have an innate desire to immediately become close to others. And this desire may well outweigh any moral obligations.

We want to form social connections with those who are nearby and gossip not only gives us a reason to talk about something, but also creates a feeling of trust, which begins with a series of signals that the talker gives to his interlocutor.

The interlocutor, in turn, shares the proposed secret, and thus contact is established. Gossip also gives us a feeling of superiority, it can cheer us up and brings some excitement to boring situations.

9. Love for sad films

Every day all sorts of nonsense happens to us, we are haunted by sorrows and failures, so it seems strange that some of us want to spend our leisure hours in even greater sadness. And despite this, we regularly sit down to watch melodramas.

This may seem paradoxical but the reason is that contemplating tragedies actually makes us feel happier. Watching tragedy on screen makes people explore them own lives and look for the positives in them.

However, the researchers point out that this reaction is somewhat different from the reaction of a person who watches a tragic movie and thinks, “Damn, at least I don’t have it as bad as that guy.”

Such viewers have a more selfish outlook, they are focused on themselves rather than others, and therefore do not feel happier after watching the film.

In addition, watching melodramas or listening to sad stories makes us feel empathy and causes our brain to release a special hormone that increases our sense of caring. Scientists call oxytocin the “moral molecule” because it makes us more generous and compassionate.

10. Awkward silence

Whether we have anything to say or not, many of us feel the urge to fill every moment of silence with conversation. Why does prolonged silence make us feel so uncomfortable?

Like many other things in our behavior, it all comes down to the desire to fit perfectly into social group. According to psychologists, when a conversation stops flowing smoothly, we begin to think that something has gone wrong.

We may begin to think that we are uninteresting and that what we say is irrelevant, which makes us worry about our position in the group. If the dialogue goes as expected, we feel confirmation of our social status.

However, not all cultures consider silence in conversation to be awkward. For example, in Japan, long pauses in conversation can be a sign of respect, especially if the conversation is about some serious issue.

Alexey Stepanov06.05.2015

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