How to live on if you have no strength. What to do if you no longer have the strength to fight life’s circumstances

Every person experiences a state in his life when the meaning of existence is lost, unbearable melancholy sets in, the colors of the world fade, and he either wants to derail this world or erase himself from its face. The insidiousness of the blues is that it sucks you in like a swamp, and the more you wallow in it, the more it sucks you in. Blues turn into apathy, apathy turns into depression, and depression turns into an unwillingness to live. How to overcome this condition and stop mourning for yourself and your failed life?

There is a way out. Psychologists have in their arsenal proven methods of combating the consequences of the blues. But first, let's understand its causes and consequences. You need to know the enemy by sight. It is always easier to come to an agreement with acquaintances than with strangers. They will help you get out of the state of “weightlessness” special techniques, developed by practicing psychologists. They will teach you how to cope with depression and tell you what to do when you give up, lack energy and desire to live.

"Virus" of blues

Where does this weariness of life come from? Scientists say that the tendency to depression is inherited. However genetic predisposition can be traced only in 40% of cases, the remaining 60% are due to other factors. Fortunately, even hereditary blues can be treated. But before we begin to eliminate the consequences, we need to deal with possible reasons, generating them. Psychologists associate apathy towards life with six main reasons:

1. Stress.
2. Avitaminosis.
3. Diets.
4. Mental overstrain.
5. Taking medications.

Treatment of bad mood

WITH visible reasons figured it out. Most of them can be eliminated without resorting to the involvement of specialists. But what to do with unconscious provocateurs of depression that cannot be taken with your bare hands? They are the ones who most often set the weather and mood. In psychotherapy, there are methods that allow you to bring the subconscious to “ clean water"and manifest real reasons blues. Psychologists say that many people experiencing depression are stuck in a difficult life situation and see no way out of it. Practicing art therapist Elena Tararina has developed an original technique that helps you live through the negative history of your life without mental trauma and transform destructive feelings into creative ones.

Technique “Drawing depression with vegetable oil”

The technique consists of drawing your experiences, and not with the usual pencils or paints, but with oil. Regular sunflower oil. The uniqueness of this method is that drawing with a soft, transparent, plastic material allows you not to think about the quality and meaning of the drawing, but to completely immerse yourself in the experience. This technique is called art therapy and is used to treat depression. It allows you to find and neutralize the cause of the blues, decipher destructive feelings, improve your mood and even change your life. To draw feelings you will need thin sheets of paper, sunflower oil and cotton swabs.

1. Create an atmosphere that soothes your soul: light incense, play calm music, or turn everything off and turn on silence.
2. Allow yourself to go deeper into the negative state that deprives you of strength and vital energy. Live mentally and in great detail the situation that interferes with your peace.
3. Focus on your emotions. Let them speak, and speak up yourself (shout, swear, be indignant) if they demand it.
4. Transfer your experiences to paper and draw those “monsters” that give rise to all your destructive feelings.
5. Hold the drawing up to the window and scan it with your “X-ray” eye. This is a “snapshot” of the diagnosis of your sick soul.
6. Carry out a thorough diagnosis of the drawing: name it; describe what you see on paper; think about whether you can add details to the drawing that will reduce the tension in it. Correct or add something that will make the picture more positive.

Perform the technique every time you fall into an emotional trap and lose your strength and meaning in life.

Three Minute Awareness Technique

This technique will relieve anxiety, allows you to realize yourself “here and now,” and takes you out of meaningless “soul-searching” and a state when it seems that everything is hopelessly bad. You will feel changes in your mood after the first session. With systematic use of technology, your mental state completely normalized.

1. Sit up straight but relaxed. Feel confident in own body.
2. Concentrate on the thoughts, but don't worry about them, just watch them float one after another. This way you will create distance between yourself and your thoughts.
3. Become aware of your feelings in which you are stuck and are now experiencing pain, disappointment, anger, resentment, etc. Do not deny them or resist them. Recognize their right to be.
4. Feel your body. Notice how it feels at that moment. Accept them, even if it is unpleasant tension, tightness, weakness, nervous twitching, etc.
5. Explore your breath. Feel how your chest and stomach move while breathing, how the air passes through your nose, mouth and fills your lungs.
6. Focus on your body as a whole. Accept any discomfort, wherever it is - in the muscles, breathing, internal organs. Consciously relieve tension by “breathing” into it. new life and new energy. And as you exhale, let go of everything that brings discomfort. Repeat until you feel relief.
7. When implementing the technique, you don’t have to be tied to three minutes. It can last exactly as long as you need to relax. Most importantly, do not forget to use it when you feel powerless, pressured, stressed, or cannot get rid of obsessive negative thoughts.

The proposed techniques are a proven way to become positive when everything is bad. Don't be lazy to try them out for yourself. depressed state, and they will become your home psychotherapists, whom you can contact at any difficult moment of your life.

Hello. My name is Tanya. It's been six months since I have the strength to do anything.

Sometimes I just lie under the covers all day, I can’t even wash my face. It all started after I broke up with my boyfriend. I understand with my mind that this is not the end. I was even able to go to university abroad. I thought that studying would bog me down and I would be distracted by a change of scenery. But I’ve been in a new country for a whole month now, and every day I feel worse. I have no strength to do anything, I lie down, eat, watch TV series and cry. We need to teach new language, but I don't have the strength. Previously, sports, hobbies or books helped. And now I can't do anything. What's wrong with me?.. I'm 25 years old.

Dear Tanya. Your state is called apathy - indifference, lack of any desires and interest. It is caused by the loss of a relationship that is dear to you, from which you still seem to have not recovered. Do you even want to come to your senses?.. Why do I ask this: there are many ways to cope with depression, but for six months you simply remained in it. You may benefit from being indifferent. Feeling sorry for yourself so that they feel sorry for you, not starting a new relationship so as not to experience the pain of separation again, or making suffering the meaning of life, which is often characteristic of human psychology.

Look soberly at young man the person you broke up with. Who is he really? Describe it objectively, without embellishment. Assess whether there is something in it that you cannot live without? In the psychology of love and relationships, a person often experiences longing not for the qualities of others, but for what he himself has invested in the object of his passion. This is strength, physical and mental - perhaps you invested too much of it (did he ask you for this?..), wasted time, care, attention. When you clarify what happened, the state of “no strength for anything” will gradually pass: after all, its causes are psychological. Your thoughts will be organized and strength will appear. Admit it to yourself frankly: you really lost good man, or do you feel sorry for your own efforts?.. To figure this out, you can get a consultation with a psychologist online, or ask a psychologist a question for free, through the contact form of the blog site

There's another one good way how to get out of depression. Tanya, write yourself a letter. Express on paper everything you think about, how you feel, what you are afraid of, resentment, guilt or who you blame... Ask the question “what is happening to me?” And give yourself the freedom to give to paper everything that comes to mind without thinking. A person does not always know the answer at the level of consciousness, but the unconscious is always ready to give it 100%.

And say “thank you!” to your ex-lover. The situation with him encourages you to understand yourself, to understand why it happened that you constantly lack strength and energy, to draw the right conclusions so that the new relationship becomes a source of joy and pleasant sensations. I wish you good luck!

It's so frustrating sometimes! A lot of plans for life, I was going to do so much and suddenly... I give up. You feel like you have no strength. What are the plans? I don’t even have the strength to just get up and go do something.
We can make the most beautiful to-do lists for ourselves, but... at some point we may simply not have enough resources to even look at them. And this is where life begins to flow. We only do urgent and last-minute tasks. Here it is, an ominous cycle!

Does this happen to you too? You don’t want anything but to lie down and not have anyone touch you. A constant state of fatigue and all the time I just want to sleep. Do you think this is normal? Of course not! In fact, being energetic is very possible. You can be active and accomplish a lot. Take time for yourself, your children, your husband, your favorite business.

After reading to the end, you will find out where does your energy go? and how to save them.

Constantly feeling tired: is this normal?

Maybe you console yourself with the fact that being tired is normal? On the one hand, yes. After active work I need to take a breath and recover. But this has nothing to do with the apathy and constant lethargy that does not leave us for weeks. Periods of activity and rest should alternate. And often we see action through force, and rest, which does not provide complete recovery.

So, it's normal to be tired. But at the same time, inside you still feel joy and upliftment. And the thought: “I’ll just rest a little, and then move on.” Do you see the difference between this pleasant fatigue after the work done and a chronic lack of energy? That's it... So let's figure out why we used to have enough strength and energy for a lot, and then they suddenly (or gradually) disappeared somewhere.

Why do we need strength, maybe this will do?

It is, of course, understandable that everyone has a different temperament. And you already know roughly how you carry yourself through life. You flutter, rush or stroll leisurely. You get used to your individual rhythm of life. And suddenly something changes. No, no one has yet become upset from increased activity, but people quickly notice the transition to a passive state. Of course, this is immediately felt. Previously, I had energy for work, leisure, and fitness, but now all this comes with great difficulty. It's easy to notice. In this case, it is easier to identify the situation that contributes to energy loss.

It is enough to look back and note what drastic life changes have happened to you recently. Moving, pregnancy, job change? And deal with a specific situation. Positive changes can be experienced, experienced, and become accustomed to new role. But work through the negative ones, and maybe even remove them from your life for good.

But more often, vitality fades away gradually. It’s just that, looking back, you suddenly realize that you’ve begun to accomplish much less and get tired many times faster.

And, of course, this greatly applies to mothers of all ages and with any number of children. It's not for nothing that everyone talks about emotional burnout. It definitely exists, I can confirm. After the birth of my second daughter, I even attended a group training for such women in my city.

Maybe you think this state of affairs is natural? Every year we have less and less strength... Is this really how it should be? Do you really have to put up with this? After all, if the problem is “incurable”, we have every right give up on it and continue to be content with the crumbs of strength that remain for us.

Why try to change something if we see with our own eyes how people become decrepit over the years and this seems to be normal? Why make the effort if this is what it all comes down to?
In fact, this is an illusion that many people live in.

It is this dangerous position of the majority that prevents us from seeing that things can be different. What is huge amount aged people (and even very elderly) who lead an active lifestyle, travel, enjoy every day and have a large family. Of course, there are fewer of them than “ordinary tired people.” But this does not mean that it is impossible to be active throughout your life!

Do you want to wake up not tired, but full of energy? When you want not to walk, but to run, when plans and ideas flow? When do you infect others with your energy? Believe me, I really love this state too!
What if all this is already inside each of us?

What if you simply lose your legitimate energy somewhere? Do you give it away without having time to use it for your own purposes?

What I really am is my true energy level.

But before we go directly to reasons for energy loss, let's find out what our own level of energy and activity really is. What are we capable of?

Do you think it's difficult to know your true potential? It couldn't be easier! To do this, you just have to remember a little. There have probably been moments in your life when energy splashed over the edge, when everything was joy, when there was drive. There were no problems with desires and dreams. Everything came easy. Remember these situations.

Most likely, you were burning for something, some idea, some goal. The soul sang.

Do you remember? Immerse yourself in these memories. Do you enjoy these sensations? It was you! Even if it was ten years ago. So understand now, this is yours normal condition. That's how you should feel. But the fact that reality does not correspond to this suggests that your energy is being spent on completely different purposes.

There can be quite a lot of these “consumers”, these leaks. Here we will look at those that concern almost everyone; everyone knows them by sight. If you are interested in learning more,... There I analyze as many as 21 reasons why women lack strength and energy.

6 reasons for the leakage of vitality.

So, let's figure it out. If we regularly fill ourselves up, eat, walk, and rejoice, then why does the energy we receive run out so quickly? What holes does it leak into?

So, if there is no strength and energy reasons in women, of course, may be different.

Here I want to mention the 6 most typical reasons energy leaks that absolutely every woman has.

Reason #1. Constant comfort zone

This is a swamp, and leaving it is becoming more and more difficult every time. At some point, overcoming oneself begins to consume so much energy that people stop making such attempts. The result is constant stress from the slightest changes.

Solution: Stop living by inertia. Constantly challenge yourself to “go beyond”, even in small things. New dish new route. be against stagnation! Look for inspiration, learn new things, communicate, don’t sit still for too long.

Reason #2. Fussiness

When we take on a hundred things at the same time, we really accomplish little, but we actually lose a lot of strength.

Solution: let's live consciously. Larger strokes. Stop for a moment, assess the situation and continue moving at a measured pace, doing only what is needed, and not everything. Time management is indispensable here, in its various manifestations. Making a plan for the day or ticking off what has already been done. If you make a plan that is not overloaded, then you will have time to complete your tasks and will have time for yourself. And thanks to your notes, you will be able to track how much you accomplished during the day, and you will have something to praise yourself for.

Reason #3. Lack of contact with nature

Whatever one may say, man is part of nature, and the more he brushes it off, the harder it is for him. Nature takes on some of our negative energy, and in return gives it pure, pristine energy.

Exit: start getting out to the islands of nature available to you. Even if it's a small park or lake. Each time it will come easier and with more pleasure. You will begin to desire these meetings and get the most out of them. It's time to remember that man is also a part of nature.

Reason #4. Envy

When we see in another what we want for ourselves, we hear a bell. Envy will plague you and come up with various arguments why you will never succeed.

Exit: Direct the energy of envy in the right direction. Instead of thinking about the bad, think about what exactly you want. After all, finding your true desires is very difficult! And envy will never deceive you. You will never envy something that you do not want yourself; you will simply pass by indifferently. Grab this desire by the tail! Spin it up! Dream, make plans. Take your first steps.

Reason #5. Life according to the “should” principle

ABOUT! How easy it is to fall into this hole! Look around: a huge number of women do not even suspect that this is an optional program. Of course, life is full of things that we have to do. But they are not 100%!

If you are busy only with what is necessary, you, unfortunately, forget about the most
the most important person in your life - about yourself. But it is with yourself that you spend the most time. Which person’s company do you enjoy more: the one who trudges through life under pressure? Or someone who knows how to find time for favorite activities and prioritize in their favor?

Finally, remember your desires. Say “no” more often if the world doesn’t collapse if you refuse.
Do yourself a favor, remember and write down your goals. Dream on!

Reason #6. Lack of self-care, little joy.

Man is a single organism. To feel harmonious, it is worth remembering that we have a soul, a mind, and a body. Our body also needs our attention. By forgetting about it, we miss a very important component of our integrity. And this is already a hole. This hole is especially destructive for women.

When she loses reasons to admire herself, she loses energy.

Wash your hair on time, tidy up your nails, and do waxing. This is not a whim, this is a real contribution to your energy capacity!

So where do you get the strength and energy for life?

Do you recognize yourself? To some extent, each of these 8 reasons concerns us all. The best part is that having learned these reasons, we have already taken a step towards getting rid of them or at least minimizing them. Knowing the enemy by sight, we are armed. Now you understand that it is time to wash your hair if you have crying baby in your arms, this is not a whim, but a necessity. What nap with a child (and all matters are abandoned!) this is not selfishness, but turning off the tap with leaking energy. Yes, you can do so many things later if you just get some sleep!

I hope it's clear? Knowing these kidnappers by sight, we can turn all these situations to our advantage. Turn minuses into pluses! If you are jealous, start dreaming, develop your desire. Come alive!
Knowing that permanent zone comfort pulls you into the swamp, coloring your life with new impressions. Everything is in our hands! We can pour all our strength into these energy holes, or we can make lemonade out of lemons!

If you feel that you have very, very little strength and only have enough for the “living wage,” then I strongly recommend working on this topic more deeply, because living at half strength is very sad.

Especially to help understand this issue, I created a transformational video course “Energy holes in a woman’s life.” You can find out more details

I hope that the information in this article will find practical application in your life. I wish you success. Live to the fullest!

THERE ARE MOMENTS….

When you just need to stop.

Stop to look around and determine where the chosen map of life has taken us. Stop to take a breath fresh air and decide whether to continue on the old path or take a different route.

Have you ever heard the phrase: “Plans are written in sand, not carved in stone?”

I first heard it in 2013 at one of the motivational trainings. I took practically nothing from it into life: external motivation in the style of “get yourself together, dude, you can do anything” was enough for a couple of months, and I returned to my usual way of life again.

But I remembered that phrase for a long time.

Probably in order to remember her now when I am writing this article. Or in order to make a paradoxical discovery three years later - the most big changes happen when we agree with our powerlessness to change something.

Many believe that achieving your goals requires iron will and discipline.

Tell me honestly, how many of your goals died before they were born?

How many task lists are left without the “done” checkbox?

How many desires have you given up because you convinced yourself they weren't important or timely?

I personally have about a dozen, but I won’t say anything about the lists of unfulfilled tasks.

It's not a matter of willpower or lack of motivation.

We begin to do something either because of strong arousal (desire) or because of strong frustration. More often, precisely because of frustration, when there is no longer a single opportunity to postpone making a decision. When, like a blind kitten, we poke our muzzle into the void and expect indulgences from the world. We beg, cry, call for help, vow to be obedient and remember all the missed opportunities. We are ready to do at least something, just not to stay where we are now, we are ready to grab any help like a straw for a drowning man... but it once again breaks off from our bulldog grip.

At such moments, it seems to us that we cannot question ourselves, we need to try our best and do what we must: swim against the tide, prove to everyone that we are stronger than circumstances, that we are ready to take a blow. We tell ourselves that we need to go, but we no longer have the strength or desire to take even a small step.

There are moments...

It’s as if we are stuck in two dimensions: we can no longer do the old way, but we don’t know how to do the new one.

Dead end. Stop.

Those of us who are accustomed to hiding behind the illusion of stability, scolding ourselves for inaction, begin to fussily look for a way out of the impasse. They launch an endless stream of self-accusations, excuses and continue to bang their foreheads against the concrete wall. They mobilize the remaining strength, bend over backwards, make new attempts with old meanings and come to a logical result - another dead end.

Poor forehead. How many concrete walls will it take to understand that it is stronger?

Sometimes our strength lies in the ability to refuse to do what doesn’t work in time, admit our powerlessness and keep our forehead intact. Throw the white flag in the face of life and agree with the obvious: we are people, not gods.

We are wrong.

Not because they are stupid and funny, but because it is normal to make mistakes. It is not normal to turn a blind eye to your mistakes, continuing to do what inevitably brings you closer to the abyss. It is not normal to continue doing the same things while expecting new results. And it’s completely abnormal to pretend to be an iron man, wasting what remains of your vitality.

Perhaps we were not swimming in our own waters; you persistently continue to row further from your native shores.

It happens...

Give yourself permission to be powerless. Give yourself permission to stop. Look around, feel the flow of life, feel the direction of the wind. This is only possible from a state of peace, when neither thoughts, nor emotions, nor, especially, actions distract you from the point “here and now.”

Stop to let in the experience you have gained, listen to the promptings of your soul, look at the new area, do not push yourself.

Stop at red lights, don't take risks. After the red signal, yellow and green lights always light up. It is only important to wait for them, and until then, allow yourself to stop.
Perhaps this pause is what you need in order to gain strength and start doing what is truly dear and important to your heart.

It happens...

The most pivotal events in my life and career happened when I accepted my powerlessness and paused. No plans, no work, no decisions.

From a point of peace, I returned to psychological practice.

From a point of peace, I decided to study systemic family psychotherapy

From a point of peace came a long-awaited pregnancy and an easy birth.

From a point of rest, I changed the vector of the business and created the Anti-Goodness community.

Money came from the resting point.

I often see people getting scared by traffic stops. How they scold themselves for periods of inaction and lack of desire to do what is needed.

Prohibitions on pauses and stops take us back to childhood. You can probably classify yourself as one of those children whose parents tried to occupy every free minute with “useful activities.”

I am one of those children myself.

As a child, I really loved to lie on my bed with my feet up on the wall and dream about how I was performing on stage in front of the audience. I imagined myself as a singer, humming songs and moving my feet along the wall, which created noise in my parents’ room next door. Not strong, but still. My father immediately came into the room and told me to do “something useful.” He did not specify what exactly, but it meant some socially useful activity, for example, cleaning.

And although in my time there was no such thing large quantity development centers, sections and fashion for tutors, but even this mitigating fact did not prevent the conviction from settling in - “you always need to be busy with something.”

Now I'm not afraid to stop. On the contrary, I watch myself at the point of rest with interest, because I know that in the end something very unusual will be born. Not new version old, but a radically different solution.

Does it guarantee me results?

There will be a path, there will be travelers, passes and overnight accommodation. Climbing the mountain and descending the mountain. Perhaps, having descended to the next life plateau, I will see that I was going in the wrong direction. Of course, I will be upset, feel powerless, and regret the lost time. It's natural. It is not natural to continue down a dead-end route in order to avoid facing your difficult feelings. I would rather meet them now than later, when the only motivation remains deep frustration. It’s better to stop now than to wander pointlessly into the jungle of misunderstanding and lack of meaning of what and why I’m doing.

Friends, don't be afraid of stops. Don't be afraid of doing nothing and pausing.

Nature itself demonstrates to us this natural cycle: life - peace - life. To be born healthy baby, you need to wait 9 months. If you force events, then life will not happen. For spring to come, you need to experience the peace of winter. To meet the dawn, you need to be able to wait out the worst dark time days.

The fact that we change the vector of movement does not mean that we are unfocused, weak or undisciplined. This suggests that life is not a frozen structure. She changes, we change along with her. Every new turn in life changes our horizons and opens up new horizons. We learn to notice new routes, we are fascinated by other goals. This is fine. Every new period life presents us with new development tasks, new spiritual goals and opportunities that we constantly discover in ourselves.

Friends, take breaks, listen to yourself. Your plans are not carved in stone - write them in the sand in order to promptly hear the wind of change, which always strives to burst into the life of a truly passionate person. Perhaps it will turn out to be a passing one and will lead you to your goals on an easier road.

IN modern world a person has much more free time than his fellow man, for example in the 18th and 19th centuries, this prompted the so-called mental view of the world around him.

Previously, a person did not have any extra energy left for nonsense, such as thinking about the meaning of life, about the meaning of existence, but now, please, think as much as you want. As a result, a person became dissatisfied with the benefits that he had, he began to want to have something more, but he does not understand what he wants. Paradoxically, the person did not begin to have more energy and enthusiasm as a result of the freed up free time; on the contrary, due to its excess, he became much weaker, largely due to depression and apathy caused by mental reflections about life. Yes, this is precisely the situation in which most representatives of the human race find themselves.

Is there a solution to the problem?

Of course, there are two types of solutions to this difficult problem. The first method is short-term, but short-lived, and the second is the opposite.

In the first case, it is enough for a person to give up all the benefits he has for a while. It would be just right to buy a tent and go hiking. Just don’t take food and water with you; in this situation of loss of vitality, you absolutely don’t need these aspects. After 1-2 days spent in a cold forest, hungry and thirsty, you will probably rethink what you had before. You will find energy and a goal to strive for, I guarantee that. Is it true this state won't last long and you need to do something similar again. How can I say anything, this is some deprivation, fear. For example, you can jump from a parachute or engage in extreme sports.

Now it’s worth explaining the second method, which, as already mentioned, is long-term. Do you need to find your one and only hobby, or interesting activity if in Russian. This could be studying astronomical bodies with a telescope, biking, picking up trucks, rummaging through antiquities with a metal detector, knitting, professional cooking, or any other activity. Here everything depends only on your fantasies, listen to yourself, remember what you wanted to do as a child, and make them come true real world. As psychologists have established, a hobby helps a person gain energy, meaning in life, and a desire for life. You will not have free time to think about bad things, you will be busy with something exciting for you.