How do the dead feel when they are prayed for? Do the dead see us after death: the connection between the soul and a living person.
When someone close to us dies, the living want to know if the dead can hear or see us after physical death, is it possible to contact them and get answers to questions? There are many real stories, confirming this hypothesis. They talk about the intervention of the other world in our lives. Different religions also do not deny that the souls of the dead are close to loved ones.
What does a person see when he dies?
About what a person sees and feels when he dies physical body, can only be judged by the stories of those who experienced clinical death. The stories of many patients whom doctors were able to save have much in common. They all talk about similar sensations:
- A man watches other people bending over his body from the side.
- At first one feels strong anxiety, as if the soul does not want to leave the body and say goodbye to its usual earthly life, but then calm comes.
- Pain and fear disappear, the state of consciousness changes.
- The person doesn't want to go back.
- After passing through a long tunnel, a creature appears in a circle of light and calls for you.
Scientists believe that these impressions do not relate to what the person who has passed on to another world feels. They explain such visions as a hormonal surge, the influence medicines, brain hypoxia. Although different religions When describing the process of separation of the soul from the body, they talk about the same phenomena - observing what is happening, the appearance of an angel, saying goodbye to loved ones.
Is it true that dead people can see us?
To answer whether deceased relatives and other people see us, we need to study different theories, telling about the afterlife. Christianity talks about two opposite places where the soul can go after death - heaven and hell. Depending on how a person lived, how righteously, he is rewarded with eternal bliss or doomed to endless suffering for his sins.
When discussing whether the dead see us after death, we should turn to the Bible, which says that souls resting in paradise remember their lives, can observe earthly events, but do not experience passions. People who were recognized as saints after death appear to sinners, trying to guide them on the true path. According to esoteric theories, the spirit of the deceased has a close connection with loved ones only when he has unfulfilled tasks.
Does the soul of a deceased person see his loved ones?
After death, the life of the body ends, but the soul continues to live. Before going to heaven, she stays with her loved ones for another 40 days, trying to console them and ease the pain of loss. Therefore, in many religions it is customary to schedule a wake at this time in order to spend the soul in world of the dead. It is believed that ancestors see and hear us even many years after death. Priests advise not to speculate about whether the dead see us after death, but to try to grieve less about the loss, because the suffering of relatives is difficult for the deceased.
Can the soul of the deceased come to visit?
When the connection between loved ones was strong during life, this relationship is difficult to interrupt. Relatives can feel the presence of the deceased and even see his silhouette. This phenomenon is called a phantom or ghost. Another theory says that the spirit comes to visit for communication only in a dream, when our body is asleep and our soul is awake. During this period, you can ask for help from deceased relatives.
Can a deceased person become a guardian angel?
After the loss of a loved one, the pain of loss can be very great. I would like to know if deceased relatives can hear us and tell us about their troubles and sorrows. Religious teaching does not deny that dead people become guardian angels for their kind. However, in order to receive such an appointment, a person must be a deeply religious believer during his lifetime, not sin and follow God's commandments. Often the guardian angels of a family become children who left early, or people who devoted themselves to worship.
Is there a connection with the dead?
According to people with psychic abilities, the connection between the real and the afterlife world exists, and it is very strong, so it is possible to perform such an action as talking to the deceased. To contact the deceased from the other world, some psychics conduct spiritualistic séances, where you can communicate with a deceased relative and ask him questions.
In Christianity and many other religions, the possibility of inducing a resting spirit through some kind of manipulation is completely denied. It is believed that all souls that come to earth belong to people who committed many sins during their lifetime or who did not receive repentance. By Orthodox tradition If you dream of a relative who has gone to another world, then you need to go to church in the morning and light a candle and help him find peace with prayer.
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In the memoirs of St. Nicholas, Alma-Ata and Kazakhstan, there is the following story:
Once, Vladyka, answering the question of whether the dead hear our prayers, said that they not only hear, but “they themselves pray for us. And even more than that: they see us as we are in the depths of our hearts, and if we live piously, they rejoice, and if we live carelessly, then they grieve and pray to God for us. Our connection with them is not interrupted, but only temporarily weakened.”
Then the Bishop told an incident that confirmed his words.
Priest Vladimir Strakhov served in one of the Moscow churches. After finishing the Liturgy, he lingered in the church. All the worshipers left, only he and the psalm-reader remained. An old woman enters, modestly but cleanly dressed, in a dark dress, and turns to the priest with a request to go and give communion to her son. Gives the address: street, house number, apartment number, first and last name of this son. The priest promises to fulfill this today, takes the Holy Gifts and goes to the indicated address.
He goes up the stairs and rings the bell. An intelligent-looking man with a beard, about thirty years old, opens the door for him. He looks at the priest somewhat surprised. “What do you want?” - “They asked me to come to this address to see a patient.” He is even more surprised. “I live here alone, there is no one sick, and I don’t need a priest!” The priest was also amazed. "How so? After all, here is the address: street, house number, apartment number. What is your name? It turns out that the name is the same. “Allow me to come in to you.” - "Please!"
The priest comes in, sits down, says that the old woman came to invite him, and during his story he looks up at the wall and sees a large portrait of this same old woman. “Yes, here she is! She was the one who came to me!” - he exclaims. “Have mercy! - the owner of the apartment objects. “Yes, this is my mother, she died 15 years ago!”
But the priest continues to claim that he saw her today. We started talking. The young man turned out to be a student at Moscow University and had not received communion for many years. “However, since you have already come here, and all this is so mysterious, I am ready to confess and take communion,” he finally decides.
The confession was long and sincere - one might say, for my entire adult life. With great satisfaction, the priest absolved him of his sins and introduced him to the Holy Mysteries.
He left, and during Vespers they came to tell him that this student had unexpectedly died, and the neighbors came to ask the priest to serve the first requiem. If the mother had not been concerned about the afterlife about his son, then he would have passed into eternity without partaking of the Holy Mysteries.
This is also a lesson that the Holy Church of Christ teaches us all today. Let us be careful, because we know that all of us, without exception, sooner or later will have to part with this earthly life. And we will appear before our Creator and Maker with an answer about how we lived, what we did in our earthly life, and whether we were worthy of our Heavenly Father.
Saint Gregory the Dvoeslov presents a remarkable experience of prayer and sacrifice for the deceased, a vow of non-covetousness, which happened in his monastery. One brother, for violating a vow of non-covetousness, in fear of others, was deprived of church burial and prayer for thirty days upon death, and then, out of compassion for his soul, a bloodless sacrifice was made with prayer for him for thirty days. On the last of these days, the deceased appeared in a vision to the survivor brother to his own and said: Until now it was bad for me, but now I am prosperous; for today I received communion (Conversations, book 4, chapter 55).
Chrysostom also teaches: “if the pagans, together with the dying, burn their property, then how much more should you, the believer, together with the believer, send his property not so that it turns into ashes, like that, but in order through it to bring greater glory to the deceased ; and if the deceased was a sinner, then so that God would forgive him his sins, and if he was a righteous person, so that he would increase his rewards... Let us try to provide through alms and offerings possible help departed, and this is very salutary for them, brings great benefit, for otherwise it would have been in vain and foolishness that the Church of God would have been established and betrayed by the wise apostles, so that a priest would terrible secrets offered a prayer for those who had fallen asleep in the faith, if the holy apostles did not know that great benefit, great good, would come from this.”
The deceased know and pray for us
What is the connection between us and our deceased brothers and sisters? Do they remember us? Are they even interested in us, still continuing the difficult battle of life? Without a doubt! Saint Athanasius the Great, however, notes that souls who have departed without repentance do not think about us, since they are absorbed in the punishment awaiting them. But who is given to know who remained unrepentant until the last moment of his life? To God alone. In any case, the God-bearing fathers, “those ancient and holy zealots Ancient Church, her caretakers, moved by God,” in agreement taught the following (“for without God’s help nothing is done by the chosen ones in agreement”): The Church triumphant in heaven “is not indifferent and not indifferent to the needs and troubles of the Church militant on earth.”
And since love for one’s neighbor is “the most important of the virtues,” it is natural that this love for “those who continue the struggle of life” is much more developed among those who have already departed to the Lord. Now this love of theirs is undoubtedly stronger than that of Christians, who are still fighting with us on earth with a good but difficult battle for the sake of virtue. We could even say that the bonds of love between our departed brothers and us living are now becoming closer, stronger and purer.
In the Old Testament there is evidence of the righteous who died before, praying to God for Israel. Judas Maccabee said that in a credible dream he saw the former high priest Onias, who, stretching out his hands, he prays for all the people of Judah, and the prophet of God Jeremiah - brotherly lover, which is a lot(page 407) prays for the people and the holy city. These great men, who died long before, invisibly led the people of God in their struggle against idolatrous enemies (2 Mac. 15: 11-16).
The New Testament also confirms that all of us who are still living on earth are surrounded by a large and dense cloud of witnesses faith. They humbly await the Second Coming of the Lord to be crowned with us, with patience passing the field before us faith (Heb. 11, 39–12, 1). If we take into account that among the names listed by the Apostle Paul in the 11th chapter of the Epistle to the Hebrews, not only the names of those who suffered martyrdom are mentioned, but also other saints who died natural death, then we can conclude that the word “witnesses” generally means all the righteous of the Old Testament. Thus, not only the Head of the Church, our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the only mediator, prays for us to God the Father. between God and people(1 Tim. 2:5), not only the Mother of God Mary, the Delighted and Queen of Heaven, who, as the Mother of God incarnate, has much boldness before the throne of grace, not only the holy Angels pray They rejoice over one sinner who repents more than over ninety-nine righteous people who do not need to repent.(Luke 15:7). They fervently and fervently pray to the Living God for us and the souls of the faithful who have fallen asleep. All of them, with love, lively interest and holy awe, so to speak, follow our spiritual haste: they rejoice at our virtuous life, grieve over our falls, and celebrate our victories. They are ready to welcome us and accept us with honor into another life, into the “Father's House.”
No, my brother, those in heaven are not indifferent to us who are still living in this life. “Earthly death, the separation of the soul from the body, does not break the connection of the believer with the Church, does not separate him from his birthplace and birthplace, does not separate him from his other “members in Christ.” Moreover, love is eternal, like souls, like God, who is love itself and the source of love. That is why, while every other connection between the living and the dead is broken, love abides and lasts forever.
Based on much evidence church history and Tradition we know that “there is mutual spiritual communication, solidarity, support and mutual assistance through love and prayer for each other between members of the earthly and heavenly Church,” for together we constitute one “community of saints.” All the departed and all those still living in this world are in a mysterious and incomprehensible communion of “life, prayer and brotherly love.” From the many testimonies, we will select some that will allow us to better reveal the truth that the souls of our departed brothers are praying for us, who are still “on the way” to the Heavenly Church, our constant and eternal homeland and city (Heb. 13, 14).
In one of the visions of the “Shepherd,” the pious Herma sees his beloved mistress, the recently deceased Rhoda, who gently reproached him, affectionately consoled him and assured him that from where she now resides, she supports him with God's help. This testimony of the book, written at the end of the 1st - beginning of the 2nd century after the Nativity of Christ, shows how strong the faith of Christians was in the prayers of the faithful who passed on to another life before them. From the Life of St. Ignatius the God-Bearer († 107; commemorated December 20/January 2) we learn that the Christians who watched his martyrdom committed all-night vigil. Kneeling down, they tearfully begged the Lord to inform them of the martyr’s afterlife. Suddenly, some of them saw the saint coming towards them with hugs, others saw him praying for them, others saw him standing before the Lord, while the saint was sweating, as if he had found himself there after hard work.
Origen, strengthening his friend Ambrose so that he could fearlessly go to torment and not lose heart because his children remained orphans, told him: “If you die for Christ, you will bring more benefit to your children than by remaining close to them. For in another life you will be able to love them more meaningfully and pray for them more prudently.”
The pagan soldier Basilides, who accompanied the martyr Potamiena to the place of her feat, heard from her in gratitude for his humane appeal to her: “When I go to my Lord, I will ask Him to quickly reward you and reward you in heaven.” And indeed - after some time Basilides became a Christian confessor! To those who were perplexed about his conversion, he answered that three days after his martyrdom, Saint Potamiena appeared to him at night. Having placed a crown on his head, she said that she had prayed for him to the Lord, who accepted her prayer, so that Basilides would soon be crowned with a bright martyr's crown.
Saint Gregory of Nyssa, composing his praise to the martyr Theodore, addresses him with the words: “Come to those who honor you, like an invisible friend. Intercede for your homeland to the common King,” Christ. Sorrows and dangers await us. The wicked, villains and barbarians the Scythians are already close and threaten us with war. You, Holy Martyr Theodore, “fight like a warrior” and like a martyr who sacrificed himself for Christ, use the boldness that you possess while standing at the throne of grace. For, although you have left this life, you know our hardships, sorrows and needs. Ask the Lord of peace so that the fierce barbarians do not trample and desecrate our temples and altars. If you need more fervent prayer, then gather all your other martyred brothers who are there and pray to God with them. Let "many righteous prayers"will liberate" people and nations from sin. Remind the Apostle Peter, ask the divine Paul and Saint John the Theologian (p. 411) to take care of the Churches they created, about the Churches for which they were chained, endured dangers and accepted death. Move them to help us, so that paganism does not overcome us, so that the thorns do not choke the vineyard, and the tares do not choke the wheat..."
Saint Gregory the Theologian, in a consoling message to the pious maiden Thekla, writes: “I am convinced that the souls of departed saints watch, think and worry about our souls.” The same father, turning to the Hieromartyr Cyprian, asks him to “look down from above” with compassion and shepherd or co-shepherd “this sacred flock”, to guide the other faithful on the path of virtue, to drive out the wild and fierce wolves (heretics) and to grant to the faithful “the most perfect and the bright radiance of the Holy Trinity,” which he now faces. During the burial of his father Gregory, also a bishop, he said: “I am sure that the deceased now consoles us more with his intercession than with his teaching. For now he is much “closer to God,” since he has freed himself from bodily bonds and filth that darkens the mind, and can contemplate face to face the purest, highest and perfect mind of God Himself, having been honored, if this is not too bold a statement, to receive the angelic state and boldness." And the saint asks his deceased father to safely rule “the whole flock and all the hierarchs,” whose “father” he was called. He especially asks to pray for himself, “who hastened paternally and spiritually” to accept ordination. The same father, in his funeral homily to Saint Basil the Great, convinced the faithful: “Now he (Basily) is in heaven and makes sacrifices for us (p. 412) and prays for the people, for, having left us, he did not leave us completely.” .
It is not difficult to understand that God hears all the saints, and especially the martyrs, praying for the living. Let the golden words of St. John Chrysostom express this: “Just as soldiers, showing the king the wounds inflicted on them by enemies in battle, speak to him with great boldness, so martyrs, carrying heads in their hands, can now easily achieve what they want.” .
So, the martyrs and all the saints, together with our pious brothers who have died and are waiting for us in Heavenly Jerusalem, pray for us. They are our heavenly fellow citizens, with whom we are united by unbreakable bonds of love, faith and prayer. They observe our efforts and struggles, our victories and defeats, exploits and experiences, and stand before God together with Christ and through Christ as our true comforters and our strong defenders from enemies, since we are members of the Church militant on earth. These acts of their love are not at all in conflict with the intercession of the Mediator, our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Tim. 2:5). That is why “we call the saints who rested in God not intermediaries, but intercessors and intercessors for us to God,” for they act as a kind of messengers. The saints intercede for us before the Trinity God. Therefore, God's chosen host of fathers VII Ecumenical Council taught that the saints were given “grace to intercede for the world.” One could even (p. 413) say that “the entire existence of saints after death is one unsilent prayer, one unceasing assistance” to the world, since love is totality of perfection(Col. 3:14). And if the prayer of the pious, holy fathers, saints and all saints is fervent for the whole people and the whole world, then it is quite natural that it becomes even more fervent now that they are near the throne of grace.
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Hello. I encountered death for the first time loved one. On October 26th it will be 40 days since grandma has been gone. Tell me, please, what needs to be done? I don't understand anything about this at all. Thanks in advance.
Hope
Hope, first of all, the deceased need our prayerful support. Most likely, after the death of your grandmother, you have already ordered a magpie for repose (that is, commemoration at the Liturgy for forty days). Now, if you have the desire and opportunity, you can order a liturgy for a year or six months. On the fortieth day, come to the temple, pray for your grandmother at the liturgy, order a memorial service. Visit the cemetery and then have a memorial meal. The meal usually includes pancakes with honey and kutia - rice with honey and raisins. It is better to give up alcohol.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
Question to Father Alexander Hello, father. How can the deceased not see us and not hear our prayers if they are alive even after death, and am I right in thinking that they know what is happening with us, in this world?
Catherine
Hello, Ekaterina. Why guess, you and I will each find out in due time what it’s like “out there.” Just like we are in our present natural state We do not see souls - neither living nor dead, and the souls of the dead do not see us. And our prayers affect the souls of the departed not directly, but through the mercy of God, who accepts our work for the sake of loved ones and eases their lot. The fact that we hear reports of some phenomena of an “otherworldly” nature does not violate this rule, but refers to a different kind of reality. Some saints, who make up one millionth of all humanity, had certain visions, about which the Apostle spoke very well: “I know a man in Christ, who fourteen years ago (whether in the body - I don’t know, whether outside the body - I don’t know: God knows) was caught up to the third heaven. And I know about such a man (I just don’t know - in the body or outside the body: God knows) that he was caught up into paradise and heard unspeakable words that it is impossible for a man to tell" (2 Cor. 12.2- 4). I saw, but there was nothing to say. Another reality cannot be described by our concepts. And what is described by our concepts belongs to our world, i.e. earth, and we know that the devil and his angels were cast out to earth. Let's leave...
Priest Alexander Beloslyudov
Due to certain circumstances, the funeral service for my brother was not performed (he died on August 17). The body could not be kept in the morgue for a long time, because... It was hot and there were a lot of dead people. I know that you need to “seal” the land for up to 40 days, i.e. until 25.09. I'm afraid to go to the cemetery, because... There is a checkpoint on the way that is periodically fired upon. What can I do in this situation? How to follow all the rules in such an environment? The cry of the soul. Help!
Natalia
Dear Natalya, it is not necessary to pour the soil from the absentee funeral service onto the grave of the deceased before forty days. No earthly action can hinder or contribute to the action of God's mercy. What the departed really need is our prayer. When peace is established, then you can go to the cemetery and finish what you can’t do now. God bless you.
Priest Sergius Osipov
Hello! My story began when my father began to get sick. His illness frightened me greatly. His suffering was painful not only for him, but also for me. And I started going to church often to pray for his health. But the Lord took my daddy. My life has turned upside down. It is so important to me that my father sees my love for him. Not just when he was alive. My greatest fear was that my father would not be able to see Paradise. During his life, he was not a strong believer, but he often said that angels came to him, and then he confessed and received communion on the eve of his death. I know that on the 40th day after death, God will determine his soul. But I want to influence his fate. I love my father so much that every day I come to church and order proskomedia, memorial services... It is important to me where his soul will dwell. His bodily pain is emptiness compared to hell, there is no death there... I am very worried about my father. I can’t find a place for myself because I’m afraid that dad will go to hell. I so want to make him happy, I so want him to rejoice forever, to go to Paradise, where there is no pain and sadness. I know that I must pray for him all my life. And through your deeds show your love for God. But I have a question. Can the dead see us? Are our prayers felt? Does my father know how much I love him? And should I believe dreams? After all, he comes tenderly into my dreams. Today is 40 days. My soul hurts and rejoices, I don’t want to cry, because my dad is next to the Lord, but I want to see him so much. I'm afraid that after 40 days Eternity will come, and I don't know what it is. I don’t like going to his grave, because there is only a symbol there - victory over death. I wish my father to live forever in my prayers. And only in the temple I feel a dialogue with him, I feel how he looks. I know that today is a very important day, today he will rise again before God, but I sincerely hope that the Lord will have mercy on his soul and I will find peace with my dad.
Olesya
Hello, Olesya. Please accept my condolences. Death is the common destiny of all people. And you and I will be sung and buried. But he who does not die cannot be resurrected. The Lord defeated death by death. Physical death puts an end to the existence of sin. Continue the remembrance of the deceased. Your prayers help your father. He does not see or hear you, but the connection between you remains - this is prayer. Don’t pay attention to dreams, you don’t see your father, but your memory of him. We ask the Lord to give eternal memory to the deceased, behold, the Lord fulfills our requests and does not allow us to forget our loved ones. We remember them, so we pray for them and see them in our dreams. The saints called sleep a delirium of the soul. This is how you feel about dreams. These are not revelations or phenomena, just a natural reaction of the soul. God help you.
Priest Alexander Beloslyudov
Hello! My mom and dad died. Mom is one year old on September 7th, and dad is 40 days old on September 11th. Is it possible to do everything in one day? And when exactly?
Irina
Irina, you can have a memorial meal on any day convenient for you. But on the very days of remembrance of your parents, go to church, order a liturgy of repose and a memorial service. Prayer is the main thing that the departed expect from us.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
Hello, father! Tell me, please, before the birth of Christ, did all people go to hell? Did I understand correctly? I read the Law of God, it is written there, “When the body of the Savior lay in the tomb, He descended with His Soul into hell, to the souls of people who died before His suffering and death. And He freed all the souls of righteous people who were waiting for the coming of the Savior from hell. " This means that all righteous, holy, pious people went to hell for the slightest sin? Please explain! And another question, my husband and I are not married, he doesn’t want to, the marriage is registered, is our life fornication? Do I need to confess this sin constantly? What if my husband never wants to get married? Thank you.
Valentina
Valentina! 1. Before the coming of the Savior, the departed righteous were in Abraham’s bosom. According to the teachings of the Orthodox Church, this is a place in hell where the souls of the Old Testament righteous went before the Resurrection of Christ. There was no hellish torment in this place, but there was no heavenly joy either. Abraham indicates the state of man in this place when he speaks of Lazarus: “Now he is comforted here” (Luke 16.25). He does not “enjoy”, as in heaven, but is only “consoled” by the fact that, unlike the merciless rich man suffering in hell, he escaped hellish torment; that I found here communion with the ancestors and forefathers of the Jewish people; that from their lips I received confirmation of the ancient promise of the future coming into the world of the Messiah, who would save the human race and bring the souls of the righteous from hell to heaven, which happened after the Resurrection of Christ. 2. Orthodox Church recognizes the legality of a marriage registered in government agencies. Such a marriage is not a prodigal cohabitation. Just pray for your husband, so that he will come to faith and realize the importance of the sacrament of wedding for Orthodox spouses as God’s blessing and His gracious help on the path of family life.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
1. In my prayer book, in the prayer for the living, it is written: “...save, Lord, and have mercy on the Most Holy Ecumenical Bishop (name),” etc. What is the name of the Ecumenical Bishop? 2. Is it necessary to be baptized at the entrance to the cemetery, at the exit and at the grave? Do I need to read some kind of prayer?
Tatiana
1. Here we mean the Ecumenical Patriarchate, also known as the Patriarchate of Constantinople. In our time, Bartholomew is the Patriarch of Constantinople. 2. And this is a matter of your will and desire: if your soul asks, why not cross yourself, give yourself this joy. There are no special prayers at the entrance to the cemetery, however, out of pious feeling you can read the troparion “Rest with the Saints” or, given that now is Easter days, “Even if You Descended into the Grave, Immortal”, “Flesh Asleep” and other hymns Easter. Yes, and “Christ is risen” can be said to the departed. The lives of the saints speak of the Kiev-Pechersk saint, the Venerable Dionysius, who once descended into the caves to his departed brethren and exclaimed to them: “Christ is risen!” And the departed brothers answered him: “Truly he is risen!” At that moment, such grace overwhelmed the saint that he asked the abbot’s permission to never leave the caves again and spent the rest of his days there in asceticism and prayer.
Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Hello, father! Christ is Risen! My dad died unbaptized. I know that you can remember him in home prayer. And in church, when a memorial service is being served or the deceased are remembered at the liturgy, can I silently pray for his repose?
Tatiana
Yes, Tatyana, it is possible, and even very good! The Lord is merciful and will accept your prayer as a favorable sacrifice, pray!
Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Hello! My dad died, he died suddenly, the shock and grief is indescribable. But the most important thing that torments me greatly is that I did not have time to tell him the main words about how much I love him, I could not ask for forgiveness for some insults and misunderstandings. Now I’m crying, asking for forgiveness, praying for his soul. Does he hear me, has he forgiven me?
Natalia
Natalya, very often after the death of loved ones we realize how much we did not have time to tell them in time. Now your love for dad should be manifested in fervent prayer for him. The deceased feel our prayer; it greatly facilitates their posthumous fate.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
Hello. Please tell me, my grandmother died the day before, and in a month it’s my birthday. Tell me, can I celebrate or not?
Alexander
Alexander, there are no special rules on this issue. But personally, I think All Souls Day is more important than birthdays. The deceased cannot pray for themselves, and therefore they rely on ours and church prayer. So my advice is that until 40 days have passed, there is no need to celebrate your birthday. During this period, it is better to pray intensely for your grandmother and order a memorial for her in the Church. And celebrate your birthday later - a little late, but that’s okay.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Dear priests, in the Old and New Testaments, in the lives of saints, we often find that signs and revelations come to people in dreams. But at the same time, many spiritual books say that dreams cannot be trusted, because we are sinful people and are not able to recognize the nature of these phenomena. How should we deal with this? modern people? After all, sometimes we dream about our dear departed ones, or we see some events “as if in reality.” Thank you for your answer.
Tatiana
Tatyana, notice how many such significant ones are described in the Holy Scriptures, prophetic dreams? Just a few. How much do we dream about? A whole stream! So, dreams from God are a very, very rare thing, and the Holy Fathers teach to recognize them this way: if a dream brings you into a deeply repentant feeling, into the consciousness of your sins and your disastrous spiritual situation, then perhaps it is from God, although it is possible that not. And in all other cases, even when we dream of deceased relatives, but the dream does not change us spiritually, it has nothing to do with God.
Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Hello. Tell me, is it necessary to hold a wake for the deceased, 11 years old?
Elena
Elena, you need to pray for the deceased no matter how old he is or how long ago he died. The deceased are always waiting for our prayer for them. On the anniversary of the deceased, you must definitely pray for him in church, and at the end of the service, ask the priest to serve a memorial service. The funeral table is another matter - it is far from so important, although it will not be superfluous.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
How to count 40 days? Since the day of his death?
Yuri
Yuri, the day of death is considered the first day, from which you need to count 3, 9 and 40 days. It is extremely important to remember that the departed need prayer. They can no longer pray for themselves, so we, the living, must pray for them. Days 3, 9 and 40 are special memorial days for the deceased. On these days, you need to strictly pray for them, serve memorial services and order church commemoration for the baptized deceased. The most important day is the 40th, when it is determined where the soul will go, to heaven or hell.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Good afternoon On August 10th I ordered the magpie for my dad, there was a liturgy and a memorial service, but my dad will be 9 days old on August 14th. I was told at the church that you can order in advance. This is right? Did I make a mistake? I’m very worried.
Elena
Elena, commemorating the newly deceased is very important for his soul. The deceased cannot pray for themselves. Special memorial days are 3, 9 and 40. These days should not be transferred to another date. It is necessary to remember these days. The most important day for the deceased is the 40th day, when his posthumous fate is determined. Therefore, stick to the exact date.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Hello, dear father! On June 29 it will be 1 year since my mom died. We do funerals at home, please tell me, are they meatless or meatless?
Svetlana
Svetlana, more attention needs to be paid not to the feast, but to the prayerful remembrance of the departed. The deceased cannot pray for themselves; they really rely on us, the living, and on church prayer. June 29 will be Saturday, on this day you need to pray in church during the Liturgy and remember your mother, after the end of the service you need to serve a memorial service. Peter's Fast begins on July 1, there is no fast on June 29, and therefore any food can be placed on the funeral table, including meat.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Is it possible to celebrate a wedding on the death day of a long-dead grandfather?
Lyudmila
Lyudmila, in principle, you can, but don’t forget that your grandfather needs prayer - and who else will pray for him if not close relatives? The deceased rely on our prayer for them.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Is it possible for a husband to go to his grandmother’s funeral if there is a newborn in the house?
Alena
Alena, what does this have to do with a newborn?! All these are some kind of superstitions. Your husband can go to his grandmother’s funeral without any doubt. But you need to pray for the departed, both at home and in church. Commemoration of the dead is our direct responsibility to our deceased relatives. The deceased cannot pray for themselves, and therefore we must help them with our prayer.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Hello, fathers! Why did it happen that you need to remember the dead and go to the cemetery on Radonitsa? And about the rest of the days of the year special commemoration deceased. On this day, are we better seen and heard by our loved ones? But on other days they don’t see and hear? And why exactly is it customary to go to the cemetery? Is it where our loved ones see us, but not in another place? I thought that in the sky they see us everywhere. Then why do these days lead us to the cemetery? And I wonder how they actually see and hear us - just like we, the living, here? Or is this done more for us living people, so that we remember our loved ones and pray? But, as they say about the painful music that accompanies last path, - those who cry bitterly and so, and those who don’t care - and music will not change anything. After all, people who are close in spirit, and not just out of duty, constantly remember and pray.
Lyudmila
Lyudmila, whether the deceased see us or don’t see us - there are many opinions on this, but now, living on earth, we cannot say for sure. Only one thing is clear: an invisible spiritual connection, of course, always exists. Regarding why after Easter it is customary to go to the cemetery only on Radonitsa, we can say that this tradition is of a statutory nature: for the sake of the triumph, joy and greatness of Easter, for some time the Church does not perform public prayers for the dead, but only secret ones, in the altar. But on Radonitsa we all go to cemeteries in order to proclaim Easter joy to the departed with the greeting “Christ is Risen!” This tradition is not connected with the fact that the deceased, as you say, see us better on this day than on other days, no, this is done to emphasize the solemnity of the holiday. But we must always remember our dead, and Orthodox Christian, taking an example from the Mother Church, which commemorates the departed every day, also daily, even in Easter period, at home in prayer he remembers his deceased relatives.
Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Hello! My daughter’s birthday (1 year old) is May 12th, is it possible to celebrate it? Or is it not possible for a week after Easter (before the remembrance of the dead)? Thank you!
Olga
Olga, May 12 will be Sunday during St. Thomas Week. And it’s very good to celebrate your birthday on this day. There is no fasting on this day. There is no need to connect this with the remembrance of the dead. We all have deceased relatives for whom we are obliged to pray, and on May 14 there will be Radonitsa. Radonitsa is Easter joy for the departed. Don’t have any doubts and celebrate your birthday calmly.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Hello, father! My grandfather recently died. He was not a believer, but he was buried as an Orthodox Christian and prayers were read. I began to worry very much about how he would go through the ordeal in the air... I read on the Internet that in order for my prayer to be pleasing to the Lord, I must impose certain restrictions on myself and perform a spiritual feat. I was tormented by prodigal thoughts all the time, but here I decided at all costs to stop thinking about them for 40 days. I found a huge prayer for the deceased on the Internet (“Akathist for the One Who Died”) and every day for two weeks I tried to read it without distraction. But recently I became very ill, and lustful thoughts enveloped me with renewed vigor. But as soon as I feel better, I hope to pull myself together again and continue praying. But I’m worried about whether such a prayer will be pleasing to God after a seven-day break? Will I be able to help my grandfather through the ordeal with such a prayer? If, God forbid, a soul ends up in hell, is it possible to beg it out of there? And also, is it possible to pray for a soul after 40 days, and will this help it?
Anna
Anna, that’s why the Church exists, so that people come and repent of their sins. Sins can be cleansed only during life, through repentance. After death there is no repentance; after death there is the reward that a person receives for his life. As it is said in the Gospel, “the righteous are barely saved,” but what will happen to the sinner who died without repentance? Of course, you can pray to your deceased relatives, but for this it is not enough to pray for only 40 days. You need to devote your whole life to this. You need to renounce all sinful endeavors, lead your life piously, go to church regularly, confess and receive communion, pray for your departed and for yourself. And so all my life. If you live like this, you yourself will be saved, and through your prayer the Lord will have mercy on your grandfather too. The deceased cannot pray for themselves; they rely on us and church prayer. God always hears us when we sincerely pray. Even if there is a break in prayer, you should not give up, you must continue.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
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Valentina, Voronezh
Do the dead really see us and feel prayer?
Father, I read that the dead see us and feel prayer. But why is there no news from them until 40 days? Due to the fault of the neurosurgeon, after the operation I lost my only son, Alexander, 39 years old. I grieve very much for him, I calm down when I read the Psalter, the rest of the time there are memories of him, despondency and tears. I read the Bible - Ecclesiastes, ch. 9 (4-10). God says: “Ask and it will be given.” I pray for my son, but from there there is silence, there is no answer to my prayers, requests and questions. And I have such pain and longing in my heart. I order masses of repose, memorial services, I ordered several sorokousts for churches and monasteries, the Psalter is read about him in the monastery, I pray myself... And no answer. Why? Please answer, father, I don’t understand anything.
Good health, Valentina. First of all, I would like to humanly try to calm you down, at least through an answer to help you drive away despondency and melancholy. You, being a Christian, probably know very well even without me that the Lord controls everything in this world. There is a lot of evidence of this, and the very first is in the Creed: “I believe in one God, the Father Almighty.” Without His will, nothing can happen either in this or in the next world. Also in the Gospel there are many places about birds that will not fall without the will of the Heavenly Father (Luke 12:6-7).
Based on the evidence presented, we cannot say that your son died due to a neurosurgeon’s mistake. He died primarily because the Lord allowed him to pass from this world to another. And directly on earth, the neurosurgeon’s mistake was only an “instrument” in the hands of God’s wise providence. If you look from this angle, then a person will inevitably humble himself before God’s providence (after all, God wanted and allowed this, not man, God, who is Love, who never makes mistakes and knows exactly what is good for us and when), and therefore, calm down a little. Having calmed down, a person will begin to think more clearly and pray more soberly, without wandering thoughts. This is the first and very important point, which I would like to tell you about.
The second thing I would like to draw your attention to is the question of the existence of the soul outside the body. In your question you quote Scripture and, internally agreeing with him, you make a serious mistake. An equal sign was placed between the Old and New Testaments. The Old Testament is the time when they were waiting for the coming of the Messiah; a time in which there was no clear understanding of either salvation or the fate of the soul after death. In a conversation with a Samaritan woman, this was expressed very well: “When the Messiah comes to tell us everything” (Gospel of John, chapter 4, verse 25). The very name Dilapidated already speaks for itself - that is, decayed, out of use. In his commentary on the Gospel of John, Theophylact of Bulgaria writes: “By “wine” you can understand the gospel teaching, and by “water” everything that preceded the Gospel, which was very watery and did not have the perfection of the gospel teaching. Let me give you an example: the Lord gave man different laws, one in paradise (Genesis 2:16-17), another under Noah (Genesis 9), a third under Abraham about circumcision (Genesis 17), a fourth through Moses ( Ex. 19; Ex. 20), fifth - through the prophets. All these laws are watery in comparison with the accuracy and power of the Gospel, if anyone understands them simply and literally. If someone delves into their spirit and understands what is hidden in them, he will find water transformed into wine. For he who discerns spiritually what is said simply and is understood literally by many will, without a doubt, find in this water excellent wine, which is subsequently drunk and preserved by the bridegroom Christ, since the Gospel appeared in last times(John 2-10), another one reminds of the serpent and ancient history(Num. 21:5-9), and thus at once, on the one hand, teaches us that the ancient is akin to the new and that the same Lawgiver of the Old and New Testaments, although Marcion, Manes and the rest of the collection of such heretics reject the Old Testament, saying that it is the law of the evil demiurge (artist); on the other hand, it teaches that if the Jews avoided death by looking at the copper image of the serpent, then much more will we avoid spiritual death by looking at the Crucified One and believing in Him. Perhaps compare the image with the truth. There is the likeness of a serpent, having the appearance of a serpent, but not having poison: so here the Lord is a Man, but free from the poison of sin, coming in the likeness of the flesh of sin, that is, in the likeness of the flesh subject to sin, but He Himself is not the flesh of sin. Then those who looked on avoided physical death, and we avoided spiritual death. Then the hanged man healed the stings of snakes, and now Christ heals the wounds of the mental dragon (John 3-15).”
The Old Testament promised long life to those who pleased God in it, and the Gospel rewards such with life not temporary, but eternal and indestructible (John 3-16). It is a grave mistake to live according to the Old Testament; you must try to get away from this.
The third thing that needs to be said is the problem of Faith and Knowledge. Believing that your prayers, tears, sighs, heartache, all those services that you order are beneficial and help the soul of your son Alexander to purify - this is one thing. But knowing is another thing. We really want to see the results of our deeds right away. Where knowledge reigns, there is still very little faith. Such a person is not yet solid; he hesitates, sways, and is ready to fall. He who firmly believes does not need any phenomena from the other world. In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, at the very end, the rich man asks Abraham: “Send Lazarus to my father’s house.” Abraham objects: “They have the scriptures, let them believe them.” The rich man replies: “No, they won’t believe the scriptures, but if someone rises from the dead, they will.” Then Abraham said to him: “If they do not listen to Moses and the prophets, they will not believe even if someone were raised from the dead” (Luke 16:31).
There are still people like this, who say: “Who has seen what is happening in hell? Who came from there and told us?” Let them listen to Abraham, who says that if we do not listen to the Scriptures, we will not believe those who would come to us from hell. This is obvious from the example of the Jews. They, since they did not listen to the Scriptures, did not believe even when they saw the dead risen, and even thought of killing Lazarus (John 12:10). In the same way, after many of the dead were resurrected during the Crucifixion of the Lord (Matthew 27:52), the Jews breathed even greater murder on the apostles. Moreover, if this resurrection of the dead were useful for our faith, the Lord would have done it often. But now nothing is more useful than a careful search of the Scriptures (John 5:39). The devil would have managed to resurrect the dead (although) in a ghostly way, and therefore would have misled the foolish, instilling among them a doctrine of hell worthy of its malice. But with our sound study of the Scriptures, the devil cannot invent anything like that. For they (the Scriptures) are a lamp and a light (2 Pet. 1:19), by the radiance of which the thief is discovered and revealed. So, the Scriptures must be believed, not demanded raising the dead(Gospel of Luke, chapter 16, verses 19-31).
We do not need to look for visions and phenomena to confirm our knowledge. We need to direct all the strength of our soul and body to acquiring faith. God deals with every person in the best possible way from the point of view of his salvation and fate in eternity.
It’s very difficult and painful for you now, it’s difficult to survive this grief. It seems to me that you may be strong mother's love they could even without noticing it, love the creation more than the Creator, that is, the son more than God. This very attachment hurts you and hurts you. Please look at the Gospel of Luke, chapter 14, verse 26. If you look calmly, we will see that God exists as he was, and you are alive, and the soul of your son Alexander is alive. Patience to you, spiritual strength, faith and hope in God.
