How to survive a big disappointment. How to deal with disappointment
No person allows himself to be fully known, hiding vices, unpleasant thoughts and unpresentable character traits.
Therefore, we have to accept everyone as they seem to us, sometimes creating ideal images in our heads instead of real characters.
This inevitably leads to disappointment in people: none of them is a standard, and therefore cannot live up to our expectations.
Experience disappointment in a loved one not easy. This is an extremely painful and personal moment. That very case when the truth stings not only the eyes, but also the heart.
However, this can be overcome: many of those who are disappointed in people continue to live happily, with hope and optimism.
Important Steps on the Path to Healing
The feeling of disappointment is devastating and instills uncertainty. It leads to many negative consequences, from loss of trust to awareness of the meaninglessness of life as such.
A person feels depressed, helpless, abandoned, unnecessary. He loses hope and faith and becomes a pessimist. 
The fact that a loved one turns out to be different is regarded as betrayal and deception.
You forgave, believed, hoped, but nothing changed - and finally, your eyes were opened. Remember four important things:
1. Firstly, disappointment in one person, even very strong and painful, cannot affect your entire life.
Fight your anger, resist the surging depression, but don’t let yourself be drowned.
It is allowed to cry and worry; for some, tears help to let go of the situation.
Chat with friends, look for new hobbies, dance, hit a punching bag - any means are good when you need a distraction.
2. Secondly, revenge is the worst way out of the situation. Pain for pain, an eye for an eye - this is all unproductive nonsense that will only worsen your internal conflict.
3. Thirdly, disappointment can be useful and sobering. It gives a lesson in life psychology.
Next time, you will not blindly trust the first impression; you will be more careful in opening your heart. Or maybe you decide to get rid of illusions forever and learn to evaluate people realistically?
4. Fourthly, you most likely noticed for a long time that something was wrong with this person. You had doubts, suspicions, but you tried to ignore them.
There were a million prerequisites for his final bad act, which became a critical point. Therefore, this is also your fault.
This is normal, we prefer not to notice what is unpleasant to us. Like little children believing in Santa Claus, we hope for a miracle: maybe it just seemed like it?
But now you have to admit that the chosen one is far from ideal, has a hundred minuses and unacceptable qualities.
Getting sober is unpleasant, it awaits you severe hangover, and you don’t have to fight it alone.
How to live after being disappointed in a friend
The more hopes we place on friends and loved ones, the greater the disappointment when they are not met.
And this is the whole root of evil: like a young dreamer, you first look at the world through pink glass glasses, and then you suddenly pull them off - and everything around seems gray and dull.
Perhaps you expected too much from your partner or girlfriend, setting the bar high to achieve the mythical ideal of a relationship?
Disappointed in your loved one, realizing that he is far from a fairy-tale prince, you are ready to withdraw into yourself and break all ties.
Stop: are you in no hurry? Sometimes, when you shake off the glitter and sequins from your fictitious ideal image, you can find a completely normal person underneath. 
With complexes and vices, with an army of cockroaches, nervous tics and bad habits - but his own, beloved and dear.
Think about the reasons for this feeling - are they so serious? Of course, if the guy turns out to be a maniac, an alcoholic and a fighter, you should end all relationships and forget about him as soon as possible.
But you will be surprised: some ladies are disappointed in their life partners because they express themselves illiterately, inaccurately add up underwear or smell bad after the gym.
A frank conversation helps: explain yourself to the person who caused you pain by his actions. What if he repents and is ready to become an ideal for the sake of your relationship?
If the disappointment is too great, the best thing you can do is forgive. Try to accept this new experience as a life lesson.
Thank fate for making you stronger. And continue to believe in people - they know how to pleasantly surprise.
Each of us has people whom we love and trust. We give them our heart and open our soul, but no one expects that we can be deceived or betrayed. At such moments, disappointment replaces love and trust, and you absolutely do not want to have anything to do with such people anymore. But it also happens that a feeling of disappointment overcomes us in relation to ourselves.
This happens when a person has made many mistakes in life, when he is overtaken by depression or has a mental crisis. Scientists say that this phenomenon is normal for humans, and in some cases even useful. There are several ways to better cope with self-disappointment and make the most of it.
Find the reason
In order to determine this delicate issue, it is not necessary to delve deep into your subconscious. The usual and only reason for disappointment in oneself is too much overestimation of one’s own strengths and capabilities. All this may have been instilled in us since childhood by our parents and acquaintances, or it may have been formed by us personally. Despite the fact that such an opinion is wrong, a feeling of disappointment will help to gradually correct and restore everything.
Appreciate the benefits of disappointment
As soon as this feeling comes to you, it should please you as much as possible, and not bring bitterness. After all, this is the only way you will understand what you did wrong and what you shouldn’t have done in this or that case. Frustration will help you get on the right track and start new life. You will be able to re-evaluate all your behavior and actions. The benefits of this feeling are quite great. At such moments, a person comprehends his past mistakes and learns enough from them to learn to look at the world and the people around him completely differently.
The road to a bright life
Disappointment in yourself will naturally bring a little pain at first, because this is what always happens when invented illusions collapse. But every person is able to cope with all this. First, it is very important to free yourself from the guilt that gnaws at you for past mistakes.
Remember, everything is in the distant past, and it is no longer possible to return it. If you want to live in a bright future, you should forget about that disappointment that happened a long time ago. The sooner you throw all this out of your thoughts, the faster you will begin to live a new and happy life.
Find all your strengths and talents
Many people who are disappointed in their own abilities often see themselves only bad qualities and absolutely do not want to pay attention to their merits. All this can only make things worse mental state and lead to protracted and nervous breakdowns. To prevent this from happening, it is important to remember your talents and advantages. Once you start developing them, you can quickly overcome feelings of disappointment and properly form self-esteem.
Never let despondency get the better of you. Finding mistakes in yourself does not mean that you are a bad and hopeless person, ideal people doesn't happen. If something didn’t work out for you, then you were moving in the wrong direction. Think about what you like best and what you are best at. Look for yourself in various fields, and you will definitely find something that will help you and your goals.
You feel a lump in your throat and find it difficult to breathe. You just had to experience great disappointment and you don't know what to do next. But life doesn't stop.
IN disappointment there is also a positive side. You learn a lesson from what happened, realize your mistakes and understand how to act so that it doesn’t happen again.
Often for this you need to change some of your habits, your behavior and your way of thinking. For example, give up high expectations, illusions that often replace the real image of a person.
Sooner or later illusions are dispelled, and reality, as they say, comes into its own. And then disappointment arises.
And this helps to better understand your own, understand them.
For example, you may realize that you have a misconception about someone. That it is very different from his real essence.
When you talk about your feelings It's easier for you to regulate your emotions. It is as if you are “present” at their origin and development.
We need to learn to recognize, identify and, most importantly, express them.
You will feel much better when you speak out and express your feelings.
2. What lessons have you learned?
Every experience, good or bad, makes us more mature and helps us grow as a person. Disappointment too. Therefore, you need to not try on the role of a victim, but try to learn from this experience.
Worrying different situations, you will learn more about yourself and others.
For example, you begin to understand how you were wrong about some people, how you idealized them.
You realize that excessive expectations in this are often unjustified, that they can be compared to a lottery.
People may turn to you in a completely different, unexpected way. If you don't expect too much from them, you will avoid a lot of disappointment and even...
3. Don't lose faith in people
This moment is the most difficult, but also the most important. To trust again in someone who may very well let you down again.
Everyone is different and they can change. Anyone can suddenly begin to behave differently.
This happens quite often. The problem is that we continue to expect behavior from him that we would like.
You have to try treat people with trust, but also taking into account the experience that we have learned from communicating with them. And don't idealize them. Open your eyes wide and don't lose touch with reality.
This is difficult, but quite achievable.
The wisest thing to do is to enjoy the present in, but it is very difficult.
Often we indulge in dreams of a wonderful future, paying little attention to the people who bring us joy right now.
They will not let you down and will always come to your aid.
Perhaps you for a long time"were wandering in the dark." Now it's time to get back to reality. Frustration can be avoided if your eyes are wide open from the start. If you did not indulge in illusions, but saw reality.
In general, disappointment - quite normal phenomenon , which forms an integral part of the school of life. It helps us not repeat our mistakes and makes us stronger.
Disappointments are an integral part of life. From time to time, each of us faces personal or professional failures. The ability to overcome disappointment is very important for success and personal happiness. You need to develop strategies to deal with the immediate consequences of disappointment, and then change your perspective on the situation and move on.
Steps
How to survive the moment
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Don't take disappointment personally. Very often people perceive negative events as consequences of their personal shortcomings. You feel that the employee is not agreeing to meet with you after work because of your personality. You believe that the magazine rejected your story because you are a bad writer. In reality, there are an infinite number of reasons that could have influenced the situation.
Change your rules. Many people set internal rules for themselves. For example, you might have a mental list of standards that, when met, make you feel happy, successful, and fulfilled. The idea of having a sense of purpose in life is useful, but sometimes we are dependent on circumstances. After experiencing disappointment, you need to rethink your rules and understand how true they are.
Examine your expectations. Take a look at your expectations in a specific situation. It is possible that you have set yourself unattainable goals or standards, and this is a recipe for disappointment.
Strive for optimism. After a strong disappointment, it is very difficult to remain optimistic. However, you must strive for it. This way you can understand that this failure is not the end at all, you can easily move on.
Take a look at the global picture. Self-awareness is important for mental health. After experiencing disappointment, try to see everything that happens with this event. How have you changed and grown since your experience? What have you learned about yourself? Don't focus only on disappointment. Look at it as a link in the chain of events that shape your personality.
Feel the emotions. After experiencing disappointment, it is important to feel the emotions caused. At a difficult moment in life, you simply need to be aware of your emotional reaction, even if it is very painful or difficult.
Take time to grieve. It is quite unreasonable to expect that you will quickly recover from your disappointment. You need to feel grief in order to comprehend what happened.
Be kind to yourself. In moments of frustration, many people are too hard on themselves. Treat yourself kindly, try to break out of the circle of self-flagellation and self-hatred.
Speak up. Holding emotions inside after disappointment is unhealthy. You need to talk to a sympathetic friend or relative and express your feelings. Choose someone who can listen without judgment. Make it clear right away that you are not asking for advice, you are just trying to “digest” your feelings.
How to change your perspective on a situation
“Not life, but complete disappointment” - this is what many often say. What is disappointment? And disappointment is a feeling, a feeling of dissatisfaction, when something did not come true or there was a destruction of faith in someone or something. This happens when a person dreams of changing something in life, makes plans, hopes, and counts on results. And then everything collapses overnight, leaving no stone unturned from past plans and hopes.
At first, a person experiences resentment, anger, even hatred towards the culprit of the destruction of plans. And then comes disappointment in life. This feeling is very dangerous, as it carries a self-destruction program, so it can lead to very serious illnesses. For example, it can provoke the development cancerous tumor or tuberculosis.
A separate line is disappointment in family life. If a man is disappointed with the woman he loves, he may experience impotence. If a woman is disappointed in a man, she may have problems with her genitals.
This feeling is nothing more than a feeling of complete helplessness over the prevailing circumstances and the impossibility of overcoming them. Therefore, we need to understand that disappointments in life are an integral part of it, but at the same time, they are a test given to us that we need to overcome and cope with with dignity. Therefore, we need to treat it not as an unfair punishment, but as a test that we can overcome.
People who experience this feeling can be easily noticed by certain symptoms, and it is also possible to determine the degree of disappointment they feel. at the moment experience. Let's look at these symptoms and then look at how to deal with disappointment. Perhaps, having learned them, we ourselves will become more tolerant and more attentive to people experiencing disappointment in life. Or we will notice them in ourselves in time, so we can quickly take the necessary measures.
Anxiety
A person begins to feel anxious when his nerves are tense, he himself is worried or is depressed under the influence of some kind of difficult situation. Anxiety is a premonition of future disappointment. This is a signal from our subconscious that the situation itself and our reaction to it urgently need to be changed.
Disagreement
A person feels it when he tries to resist or deny the obvious. He clings to the last, illusory arguments, trying to convince himself that nothing is happening. Disagreement with circumstances very often leads to disappointment when suddenly “your eyes open.” That's when the house of cards that was built begins to collapse.
Indignation and bitterness
They often accompany a disappointed, despairing person. A person strives to express everything to his offender, to restore, as it seems to him, justice. At the same time, he experiences indignation and bitterness. There is no need to judge such a person; it is better to treat him with understanding. Perhaps in this way you yourself will someday be able to avoid this condition.
Avoiding the problem
Care is an understandable desire of a person to get away from a negative situation. At the same time, this is also one of the symptoms of disappointment in life. After all, so often experiencing bitterness, we try to get away from the problem, do not solve it, and give up. At the same time, we run away not only from the problem, but also from people who can help us.
Losing faith
Loss of faith in one's own future is another symptom. Very often, when communicating with the closest people, a certain detachment and detachment suddenly comes over a person. Moreover, this happens just when faith is especially necessary for him, and he really needs to communicate with loved ones and family.
In turn, relatives, friends and relatives, having noticed such manifestations, themselves should try to alleviate the experience as much as possible and not allow the person to move to the next stage - rebellion and bitterness. But, of course, the most important thing is to learn to identify this symptom in yourself, because in life there are often situations that can lead to it.
You need to be able to notice the listed symptoms in others and yourself. This skill can help prevent extreme manifestations of frustration - suicide or murder.
How to overcome disappointment?
When we experience this feeling, the most big problem is to believe in the good and bright again. We are especially disappointed in people. These wounds remain in the soul for for many years, causing deep wounds to the heart.
But even then you need to remember that life is still beautiful! Every day that comes gives us hope and new opportunities. You just need to notice them and use them to your advantage. Of course, you can give up and complain about fate and circumstances for the rest of your life, instead of trying to change everything and rebuild your life.
Yes, perhaps not everything is in our power, but daily affairs and events are within our power.
To overcome disappointment faster, look at the situation from the outside, notice not its negative, but its positive sides. After all, no matter what, you have acquired a priceless life experience, or maybe met new people, acquired some new skills. Learn to forget the bad and remember only the good.
You shouldn’t constantly feel sorry for yourself and worry that everything around you is unfair. Believe me, this will not lead to anything good. Most likely, you will only lose faith in own strength. By the way, this greatly reduces self-esteem.
And you don’t need to think about how to deal with disappointment. Have a simpler attitude towards life and people. If this happened, then it had to happen. Don’t focus on problems, ignore them, then life will become simpler and easier. Not instantly, but over time it will be so and the problems will disappear altogether.
