How to change your weak character. How to change your character beyond recognition
Transforming into better side
Some people's lives are full of hopelessness. They gave up long ago because they are unable to change anything and become happy. Helplessness, self-loathing and the inability to love life became their constant companions. They do not have a loved one and there are very few people around them who sincerely wish them happiness.
Even if all of the above does not apply to you, all the same, each of us is imperfect. Therefore, anyone periodically has thoughts that it would be good to change their character for the better. Some people want to do this for the sake of a loved one, others should become tougher for the sake of successful career. But in any case, the desire to change something is wonderful.
You will have to put in a lot of effort and tune in long labor. But in order for your life to change 180 degrees and stop resembling a bumpy path instead of an asphalt road, it’s worth doing.
Faina Ranevskaya said wonderfully, although rudely, about this: “If you expect to be accepted for who you are, you are a lazy mug. Because if you don’t change and work on yourself, you’ll die alone.”
The desire to change your character is the main sign of personal growth.
Reasons for wanting to change your character
Remember that it is your character that fully reflects your ideas about life. Personality traits grow and develop with you. Therefore, tune in for the best and always remember why you are doing this.
How to Know When You Need to Change Your Character
There is a very simple way to do this.Be sure to ask your loved ones for help. They will tell you what you don’t always see in yourself, but what really sometimes needs to be changed.
Steps to help change your character for the better
Step 1. Get rid of all complexes and fears that prevent you from living. Some people are subconsciously afraid of success and therefore do not want to change anything. Having received reasoned confirmation of this (in some cases from a specialist), you will be able to change some beliefs ingrained in childhood and subsequently adjust your character.
It is during childhood that a person’s character begins to be formed, starting from his innate qualities: temperament, heredity and type nervous system. Praise yourself every time you look in the mirror in the morning. This simple auto-training can energize you positive energy for the whole day.
Step 2. Start fighting with bad habits. Any problem not only harms (health or money), it also tends to accumulate and get worse. The habit of pleasing the stomach will first lead to to different degrees obesity, and then to diabetes, increased load on the heart and shorten life span.
It is difficult, and almost impossible, to be happy, knowing that it is not you who control your life, but alcohol or another passion. Living for the sake of indulging them is a dubious pleasure. Of course, it is impossible to change for the better in one day, but you can start working in this direction and gradually, step by step, you will succeed.
Step 3. Be sure to make a plan - for a year, for two and for five years. All projects must be very detailed and realistic. It is very important that the plan is constantly in front of your eyes, and that you re-read it several times a day. Analyze every deviation from the intended path, study what exactly prevented you at some point. 
Step 4. Analyze your behavior. Situations in our lives repeat themselves with enviable consistency, so in order to change your character, it would be good to start keeping a diary. Keep track of all your victories and defeats, and pay attention to your mistakes.
Step 5. Make it a rule to do good deeds. Volunteer or charitable activities will help you become softer. By letting goodness into your heart, you will only benefit from it. Firstly, you will immediately feel how your life will be filled with positive emotions; secondly, your self-esteem and the respect of others will grow before your eyes; and thirdly, it is simply very useful for karma (smiley).
Bring a heavy bag to an elderly neighbor, and help a young mother lower her stroller from the porch. It won't take you much time or require any effort, but you will really change for the better. This is worth living for - try it and you will understand how great it is to do good!
Step 6. Always be honest. In front of oneself, in front of others - for a positive person this character trait is very important. Lies are a very insidious thing, if only because they gradually destroy the personality. Plus, you won't have to memorize everything and be stressed to remember who you said and what.
Step 7 Try to keep your word. Previously, people died, but they tried not to deviate from what was said, because for a man of honor this was considered the only possible thing. Nowadays, people will listen to you (especially in business), the respect of others will increase by an order of magnitude, and you yourself will be proud of yourself.
Step 8 Work constantly on a strong rear. A family in which you will feel comfortable and secure or have a great relationship with your spouse is one of the components of a happy life. Try your best to live in love. It’s not for nothing that a person who loves grows wings behind his back.
If you don’t have a loved one yet, your family (parents, brothers and sisters) should become the outlet where you will always be supported and helped. A strong family has always been considered an indicator of a person’s success. In business, such people are always more trustworthy than unhappy and lonely people.
Step 9 Create yourself in such a way that when you look in the mirror, you are always happy with your reflection. Recognize your right to uniqueness and love yourself.
Work on your figure and appearance. Dirty hair and dirt under the nails will not decorate anyone, not even the most positive person. And straight shoulders, a confident gait and clear eyes will definitely lead to the admiration of others, new friends and acquaintances. In addition, the principle of feedback works here - having changed externally, you will no longer be able to remain the same internally, and you will definitely correspond to your new self.
Nowadays people are greeted by their clothes, there is no escape from this. Choose several roles for yourself and try to change them, depending on your mood and upcoming events. By always being in shape, you will become a much more collected person, and, accordingly, change your character for the better.
Step 10 Be positive. Notice only the good in others. During the day we hear many complaints from others, and we notice that people’s thoughts greatly influence their behavior and feelings. Whatever you name the yacht, so it will float - this expression truly determines the quality of life of each of us.
If you have a rule of constantly feeling sorry for yourself and complaining about life, stop and remember what good things you have. Each of us can thank fate or God for something - for good health, a strong family or a loved one and loving person. Always remember this and appreciate what you have.
Eat good exercise, with which you can develop a new habit - put a money rubber band on your hand and every time a pessimistic thought appears, pull back the rubber band and hit yourself. And be sure to repeat that you are doing well and will get even better. The habit of not dwelling on the negative changes a person’s character for the better. In addition, it is much easier to live this way, and it is also healthier for the nervous system.
Step 11 Read specialized literature. These can be either books on psychology or some situations described in fiction. The main thing is that you can, based on the mistakes of others, avoid negative experiences.
Step 12 Learn to manage your emotions. In conflict situations, control your rage (for example, counting to yourself to 50): this will allow you to resolve all issues much more productively. Besides, by keeping your cool, you will only win the argument. Drive away all negativity from yourself - jealousy, selfishness, envy and you will immediately change your character for the better.
Remember that only optimists can be happy.
By changing your character for the better, you will live a happy life, which will be of much higher quality than that of an unhappy and dissatisfied person who was unable to find the strength to move forward.
Perhaps one of the most common and dangerous human misconceptions regarding a person is the belief that oneself, one’s personality cannot be changed. This faith rests on the conviction that there are qualities, abilities, tastes, habits and shortcomings assigned to us that represent the essence of our personality and cannot be changed. One often hears “Well, that’s the kind of person I am (lazy, without certain abilities, necessary qualities, etc.) I can’t do it any other way and there’s nothing you can do about it.”. Many people think so and carry this belief all their lives.
So is it possible to change your personality? If yes, then how can you change yourself?
Is it possible to change yourself?
Or, indeed, personality is something imperishable and unchangeable, and all the metamorphoses that can occur in it are, so to speak, cosmetic and do not concern its essence. I am sure that you can change yourself and for the better: get rid of personal shortcomings, acquire and develop certain qualities, change your character...
Anyone can, if they want, transform themselves beyond recognition: overcome “natural” cowardice and shyness by becoming strong character and confident, moderate the tendency to worry and worry, gaining strong nerves and equanimity. Yesterday's timid and downtrodden young man can become a sociable and young man simply by making some effort.
And it would be a mistake to believe that timidity and isolation are in this young man’s blood and that he is “naturally” tense and not adapted to communication. This mistake, this misconception is not harmless, from a practical point of view, of a nature, such as the misconception that Singapore is the capital of Africa (of course, provided that you do not take the final exams in geography at the institute, and if you fail, you will not be A lot of unforgettable impressions await you in the vast expanses of our homeland as part of an army unit).
This false belief is much more dangerous than the harmless geographical one, because, believing that you cannot change yourself, you give up, are afraid to make efforts to work on yourself and live with your shortcomings, which prevent you from living and poison the lives of those around you people.
Why am I so sure that Is it possible to change yourself?
Firstly, the human species is naturally equipped with a strong adaptive potential, the ability to change, adapting to the conditions of the surrounding reality. This makes a person flexible and gives him the opportunity to change either according to external influence or by controlling the conscious efforts of the will from the inside, commensurating this effort with the internal need to change the personality. (in the context of this resource, we are interested in the latter, namely conscious management of how we will change and whether we will change at all. We ourselves want to decide what we should become? Right?)
Secondly, there are many examples of how people changed either for the worse or for the better. One such example is myself, the author of these lines. By overcoming internal resistance, I managed to become more self-confident, disciplined, organized and sociable.
This has manifested itself in an improvement in my quality of life and the realization of significant life achievements. But before, I also considered laziness, a tendency to worry and depression, cowardice, shyness, the inability to control oneself and control one’s feelings as my primordially enduring qualities and did not believe in the possibility of changing them.
It seemed to me that I am who I am and will remain so. Reality showed that I was wrong: I coped with depression and anxiety and panic attacks without any pills or treatment, my mathematical abilities improved, (I previously thought that I had none at all), even my musical tastes changed (not just changed, but expanded very much) and much more, this list can be continued for a very long time.
The value of fighting with yourself
So I will insist that the reader of these lines, instead of ruining himself by believing in the immutability of his personality, still takes it and tries to work on himself and change. Even if he fails to become what he wants, his efforts will still be rewarded. Because struggling and trying to cope with the internal resistance that will definitely arise along the way if you want to change yourself always pays off!
By acting in spite of resistance, against your weaknesses and ingrained habits, you train your will and strengthen your character. The degree of control over your feelings increases and a sober understanding of what is happening inside you and what guides you comes!
And exactly the opposite. An individual who is accustomed to viewing himself as a collection of unchanging characteristic features, habits, shortcomings and pathologies always follows the lead of his character and weaknesses. He remains as he is.
His will is not tempered in the fight against feelings; he is controlled by his Ego, fears and complexes. Every day he capitulates to them: his will weakens, and his true essence begins to fade behind the abundance of shortcomings and habits.
Internal struggle and resistance and their value are the core of my system of self-development and self-improvement. The value of these things is not only of an instrumental nature (i.e., not necessarily only a means to achieve a certain goal: the fight against complexes in order to defeat them), but also carry great value in themselves. I will write about this more than once in more detail.
Can personality change?
You must understand that your true personality is not a collection of habits, upbringing and childhood traumas. All this is just tinsel and habits of the mind and feelings!. This is a profit, i.e. appeared as you grew and will also disappear as soon as you want it: after all, all this is not written in your genes. Personality is a dynamic concept, constantly changing, and not something predetermined forever!
Well, of course, there are some natural limitations, innate tendencies etc. Something that you have no influence on, and I understand that very well. At the same time, I see a general need to exaggerate the number of personality factors that supposedly cannot be influenced.
What is simply an acquired shortcoming, manifested as a result of laziness and reluctance to do something, is mistakenly perceived by many as a natural and once and for all defined personality trait! Perhaps this is just a psychological trick designed to relieve a person of responsibility for his character.
This is the same blatant misconception as “innate illiteracy”! (well, think about how it can be innate? We are all born without knowledge of language, our first words are the simplest syllables “MOM” “DAD”) In fact, there are many properties of our being that we fundamentally cannot influence due to natural, There are far fewer natural restrictions than we are all accustomed to believing.
And you will see this for yourself when, as a result of your self-development, you experience many positive personal metamorphoses that will affect those qualities of yours that you previously considered ingrained in you forever.
My experience of personal metamorphoses
I myself managed to overcome many internal negative character traits that had bothered me since childhood and would have continued to bother me and ruin my life (and I was very weak and sickly child, and then as a young man and had many shortcomings (and now I have them, but much less)). It’s a pity that I didn’t pay attention to them even then and didn’t start working on myself, gaining confidence that I was able to cope with it.
And practice only confirmed my confidence, giving me valuable results both in terms of developing my internal potential and in the context of improving factors of external comfort and order (relationships with people, financial situation, life achievements, etc.), as a reflection of personality changes.
Usually those who say “I am such a person and will remain so” have never tried to do something with themselves and change for the better. Then how do they know that nothing can be done?
How to change yourself? This big question and almost all materials on this site will be devoted to this. After all, self-development and self-improvement imply changing oneself and this is always the case. Therefore, this article is simply an attempt to destroy the established misconception and call for action and perhaps give someone hope that you can change yourself. And you can find specific recommendations now and later as they are published on the pages of this site - the topic is very broad.
Is it unnatural to change for the better?
Once I ran into such an objection. “Like, yes, you can change yourself, but why do it? Isn't this unnatural? You are who you are, why show violence against a person?”
I asked counter questions: “Well, what do you think shaped your personality, what factors influenced its formation? Why are you the way you are now? It must be due to upbringing, parents, social circle and some innate parameters (heredity, natural predispositions, etc.).
Basically, all these factors are random, those that you could not influence. After all, parents are not chosen and social circles are not always chosen either. Not to mention heredity and genes. It turns out that you consider the development of you as a person under the influence of external, arbitrary factors that do not greatly depend on your will to be natural.
And attempts to consciously influence your character and habits, based on an understanding of who you want to become and the formation of what qualities in you meet your goals - does this mean unnatural? To be led by external circumstances, attributing everything to chance...
What is so right and natural about this? And why is conscious work on oneself, changing oneself for the better in order to achieve happiness and harmony perceived as violence against oneself?”
On the contrary, by independently determining the vector of your own development, you bring the order into your life that you yourself desire and do not allow external circumstances to completely decide what you will be like. This brings you closer to the implementation of your life plan, to satisfaction with yourself, your life and your environment, which you choose yourself, and are not content with what external circumstances have imposed on you.
Regarding the question “why change yourself?” I answer this question, perhaps, in a larger number of my articles, both explicitly and implicitly. I will answer again. Self-development is a dynamic process of continuous improvement of all the best human qualities.
The best and worst qualities of a person
By best qualities I mean such properties of nature that meet considerations of personal comfort and happiness, harmonious relationships with people, life success, overcoming difficulties, inner peace, order of thoughts, health, willpower and spiritual freedom.
Bad qualities are those that make us suffer, get angry, be torn by internal contradictions, complicate our lives and poison the lives of those around us, make us sick, dependent on passions and desires, weak morally and physically.
By developing good qualities and freeing yourself from bad qualities, you strive for happiness and freedom, but doing the opposite, you fly into the abyss of suffering and addiction. Self-development implies the first. When you promote development best properties Your nature changes, as new abilities appear in you and old shortcomings disappear. This is the meaning of self-development in these positive personal metamorphoses.
That, in fact, is all, no sophisticated philosophy or relative morality, everything depends on your personal happiness and harmony, and not on some abstract ideas. This is what I want you to strive for and what this site is entirely dedicated to.
I already said what terrible mistake is the belief that it is impossible to change oneself. But another more dangerous thing is the lack of need to change something in yourself. Many believe that they are already the crown of creation, the most worthy representatives of the human species, and they have seen all sorts of self-development sites in their graves.
It really happens that a person is really very developed, but most often he falls into the trap of his pride and pride, believing that he has nowhere to develop, because there is almost always the opportunity to move somewhere and improve something.
And besides, very often education and upbringing are not able to develop personal potential completely (and can even do harm in some places), leaving behind many gaping gaps, undisclosed abilities, hidden anxieties and complexes within the structure of individuality.
Therefore, in almost all cases, it is necessary to make an effort to make something out of oneself: after all, few people are so lucky that their educators and parents were able to give them the necessary harmonious development leap and solutions to all emerging internal problems and contradictions.
If you're wondering is it possible to change yourself?, it means you recognize the presence of such properties in yourself that need to be changed and do not consider yourself an ideal and a dead end of development and everything is not so scary, you are taking the first steps towards self-development, standing on the threshold of wonderful metamorphoses.
All that remains is for you, armed with the support that I will provide you with my advice and recommendations for self-improvement, to move on this difficult but bright path with a song.
How to change your character - Don’t be a “mean”!
What is character?
- What is character?
— Is it possible to change your temperament and how?
— Three steps to change your character
— Instructions for changing your nature
- Conclusion
Character – this is a set of stable mental properties and habitual standard ways of behavior. Very often, character is described through a set of “character traits.” Is it possible to change your character at all? The answer is yes, although this is not an easy task. Character is a secondary formation and depends on personal development.
A personality can, in its development, overcome those traits that are unacceptable to it, for example, as the author of the article writes, when “character is the reason for difficult relationships in the family or at work." Pay attention to the fact that there is a difference between personality, what a person lives for (what is important to him, what is indifferent) and character, which determines how exactly the process is implemented ecc interaction with the world.
Is it possible to change your temperament and how?
A person’s character is, first of all, his habits; it is his typical way of thinking, behaving and reacting. Character is not given to a person along with genes in a ready-made form from birth: it also depends on upbringing, environment, education and many other factors.
A person’s character changes naturally, on its own, throughout life, primarily depending on age. Childish spontaneity of response is replaced by youthful impetuosity, which after a dozen or two years calms down in adult prudence. Also, character tends to become less positive with age... and downright negative in old age (see Emotional Tone Scale).
In addition, a person’s character changes depending on the situation in which the person finds himself. The most melancholic person, at the sight of an approaching tsunami wave, will rush away from it with the cheerfulness of a choleric person. At work, a person may have one personality - for example, energetic and collected. At home, the same person’s character may change, concentration may change to absent-mindedness, energy to laziness. Even the most cheerful person, if something hurts, his character, as a rule, becomes somewhat lethargic and sad.
Character is a collection of habits, and habits can be changed. If you set yourself this task and start training calm reactions, you will succeed.
The ability to permanently and significantly change your character depends on several points. It depends on age: the younger a person is, the fewer fixed patterns there are and the easier it is to change one’s character. It also depends on individual, congenital characteristics. There are people who have an innate ability to easily change themselves and their character, and there are people who have an innately fixed character that can hardly change.
We are all different. There are a large number of people who do not change their character simply because they are convinced: “Character cannot be changed!” And the most important thing on what the changeability of our character depends is on the ability to change ourselves. Those who know how to change themselves change themselves more easily and more often.
Character, like habitual behavior, can be changed. How? Copying the behavior of other people is the simplest and most natural way. Since childhood, we learn by copying and imitating - we learn to walk, talk, react. It is complicated by the fact that there must be exactly the person nearby whom you want to copy - and this is not always the case. And if this happens and there is such a wonderful person next to you, take advantage of the opportunity!
You can start by copying the gaits of other people: the fact is that gait and character are connected. It’s easy to tell about many of a person’s traits based on their gait; on the other hand, by changing your gait, you can (and should) gradually change (improve) your character.
If it is difficult to find a person next to you whose character traits you would like to copy, look for the right types in books, films, and finally come up with one. Imagine and ask yourself more often, how should the ideal person for you behave in this situation? What will he say? What will he feel?
Again: character is a collection of habits, so your task is to acquire new, good habits to replace the old ones. And in general, study the topic “How to work on yourself.” You can do it!
Three steps to change your character
First step: positive thinking.
In fact, a bad character is like a bad habit, only it’s more difficult to get rid of it than, for example, to quit smoking. If you can control yourself and not buy a pack of cigarettes, then there will be nothing to smoke, but it will be more difficult to get unnecessary thoughts out of your head. Remember, your character is your idea of life. What you think about yourself will grow and develop within you. Therefore, always imagine what kind of person you want to become.
The first thing you need to do before changing your character is to learn to think positively. There is an interesting technique that can help you with this. Take a simple rubber band for money and put it on your hand. As soon as a negative thought creeps into your head, you immediately pull back the rubber band and “click” - you remember that everything is good, and it will be even better. The habit of controlling your thoughts and not letting yourself slide into the swamp of envy, resentment, scandals will make you an optimist, and happiness without optimism is impossible.
Second step: self-love.
The second thing without which you won’t be able to change your character is self-love. Every morning, when you wake up and sweetly stretch, go to the mirror, smile and say: “I love you.” Repeat to yourself as often as possible that every minute you become better, kinder, more confident. This kind of auto-training will set the right mood for the whole day, and once you have the right setting, you will follow it automatically.
Not loving yourself because you don't like your character is pointless. Until you accept yourself as you are, you will be filled with negativity towards yourself, and this only destroys. You, on the contrary, need to learn to create - to create a new person who will correspond to your ideas.
Step three: behavior analysis.
Character is a set of habits to react in some way to emerging situations. Considering that life consists of repeating moments, learn to analyze your behavior.
A great idea would be to start keeping a diary. Describe what happened to you during the day, how you behaved and what you should have done.
If you do not experience discomfort in communicating with other people and live in harmony with yourself, perhaps you do not need change. You should not rely on the opinion of one person who doesn’t like something about you.
Regardless of what character trait you decide to fight, you will need to follow a simple plan. First, determine what exactly is hidden behind this problem, what caused it, and what you want to replace it with.
Research has shown that a habit is formed within 30 days. This means that if you control your emotions for a month, then after this time the changes will be obvious. If the list of what you want to change is quite extensive, highlight the main points (1-2) that you will work on first.
Instructions for changing your nature
Rule 1. Find a role model.
If you can’t control yourself on your own, choose an idol or role model.
At moments when you want to get angry or start making trouble, stop and think about what your idol would do in your place.
Rule 2. To change your character, you need to want it.
This rule is the most important basis for changing character.
If your environment does not like your character, but you are completely satisfied with it, then it is better to change your environment, not yourself. After all, until you yourself want to change, you cannot do anything.
Rule 3. Take a systematic approach.
Once you start changing your character, develop a system.
First, write down on paper all your character traits that could use some tweaking. After that, next to each trait, write the reasons why you want to change it. Seeing the full picture, in the future it will be easier for you to change and easier to control yourself.
Remember, in changing your character, you first need to develop a habit. And this is the most difficult thing. After all, if you are used to yelling at every little thing, it will be extremely difficult to restrain yourself at first. However, having overcome the initial barrier, it will be easier to further change your character.
Rule 4. To change your character, start controlling yourself.
Having decided to change your character, begin to control yourself and your emotions. For example, if your negative trait is temper, then there is only one way to deal with it. The next time you want to lose your temper or start screaming, take a break, close your eyes and slowly count to 10. I am sure that after this, in 90% of cases you will no longer feel like screaming.
Rule 5. Find your soul mate.
IN in this case you have to find a person who is just like you, quarrelsome and angry. Perhaps you will quickly find a common language with him. But besides this, you will quickly realize what not to do and begin to subconsciously change your character.
Rule 6. Do a good deed.
Moreover, it will not matter at all what kind of good deed you did. The act of showing kindness is important. Good deeds make us better, develop responsiveness and compassion in us.
To get started you can:
1) help grandma cross the road,
2) pick up a stray kitten,
3) help someone in need with money.
Conclusion
I bet a lot of people are unhappy with their character. I have no doubt that this applies to you too, since you are reading this article. However, only a few are ready to act to change it.
Our character is constantly changing due to current circumstances. We just don't always notice it. But some of his features remain unchanged since childhood. They are the ones we most often dislike the most. And these are the ones we dream of changing. This could be shyness, lack of restraint, outbursts of causeless anger and much more.
It is almost impossible to change immediately. But, if you constantly monitor yourself, even if not immediately, your character may change. The main rule is to want to change for yourself, not for the sake of others. Until you yourself want to become a different person, nothing will work out for you. And to speed up the process, you must constantly keep before your eyes the image of who you want to become.
I wish you good luck!
The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site
Throughout life, many people think about the question: How to change your character? In this article you will get answers to your questions and learn how to change your character.
As you know, every person is a unique being who has his own inimitable character. People have different personal values, hobbies, worldviews and perceptions of the world, and respond differently to external changes. A person’s character is reflected in his behavior and actions, from which his whole life is derived. However, the heavier and worse character person, the more difficult it is for him to realize himself and his needs in society.
Is it possible to change a person's character?
It’s worth starting with the fact that only half of our character traits are inherited. The other half is formed using accumulated life experience and formed habits. In this regard, it becomes obvious that your character can and should be changed.
1. Analyze and control your character
Before you change your character, you need to find out what it is like now. It is unlikely that you will be able to change something that you yourself do not fully know. Divide a sheet of paper into 2 parts. In part 1, write down the character traits that you don’t like about you, and in part 2, write down solutions. For example: you don’t like that you always say yes and absolutely everyone takes advantage of this, throwing all the work onto you. The problem is that you cannot give a negative answer to various requests. Next time h If you ask about it, just politely refuse.
2. Accept yourself and your character
By accepting yourself and your character, you consciously approach the task of changing it. You must get used to your disadvantages. However, do not forget that you also have advantages. Love yourself and constantly engage in your development and self-education. By renouncing your real character, you will never be able to improve it, much less change it.
If you want to change certain character traits, then it is worth learning from those who already have these qualities well developed. Read books, carefully study people with the right character traits, ask them questions and apply the acquired knowledge in practice.
Imagine your ideal self. Try to capture these emotions. Ask yourself questions: What will you do if you change your character? How will you feel? Where will you be? This tool will help you understand exactly how you see yourself and will give you additional motivation and desire.
There is also such a thing as affirmation. It consists of daily reciting short sentences (mantra) for your own programming. Create such a mantra for yourself. For example, you want to become more confident in yourself: every day I become even more confident, even more beautiful, even stronger.
In order to change your character, try changing your social circle for a while. In a new company, show yourself as you wanted to become. Strangers they can believe in your new image and you yourself will not notice how your character will change.
"Tell me please, ? I'm 20 years old and I can't control myself. I can be either angry and aggressive or seemingly normal and calm. And then I start snapping at everyone again, I can be rude and slam the door. I often get offended over trifles. Sometimes I try to hold back, but it doesn’t last long. I hate myself like this. I have almost no friends. What should I do with myself?
Victoria Vinnikova, teacher, answers:
Hello Anna. We all dream of becoming better. Someone is tired of being irritated and snapping at others, another wants to become decisive and self-confident, a third is tired of being rude and offended. More often we're talking about about sustainable habits, but at the same time we all want to change our character.
In this article we will show 5 simple steps to understanding what character you are given and how it can be corrected.
1. Everyone has their own character and special temperament
Obviously, everyone is different. One person is nimble and agile from birth, and more calm person It may seem that the nimble one has such a restless character. The other is slow and thorough, prone to systematization and analysis. And then the smart person can say that the first one has a boring character.
Some are overly emotional, others are more withdrawn. We all have our own characteristics, and when characterizing a person, we add different epithets: hysterical, emotional, artistic, withdrawn, etc. So what - all these people need to change their nature and quickly ask the question: how to change their character for the better?
The scientific answer lies in the area of the unconscious, which is studied and revealed by System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
When we want to change our character, we first need to understand what exactly we want to change in it, that is, understand what exactly is stopping us from achieving desired result or makes you suffer.
System-vector psychology gives a clear answer to why this or that does not work out in life and how to fix it: at the same time, use your character correctly.
As in the famous proverb: if you sow an action, you will reap a habit, if you sow a habit, you will reap a character, and if you sow a character, you will reap a destiny.
2. Character - innate or acquired?
We are all different from each other, but at the same time our desires, properties and aspirations can be combined into groups, which the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan calls vectors.
So the character of each person is determined by his innate vectors.
You can sulk at your character, but it won't change anything. It’s better to figure out how everything works and fix what can be changed.
3. Habits are formed from childhood
It is obvious that character is formed from childhood. It is there that we take our first actions, which then become habits. Whether they are good or not is another question.
All our actions are dictated by unconscious desires for pleasure, according to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Therefore, the basis for the formation of childhood habits is the child’s desire to obtain pleasure or avoid suffering.
When, for example, the innate desire of a person with a skin vector - naturally fast, dexterous, constantly in motion - is suppressed in childhood and he is forced to “sit straight and not twitch,” then as a result he develops a habit of fuss and flickering.
And if a child with an anal vector, who is by nature thorough and unhurried, is constantly urged and hurried, then from childhood he develops such a character trait as stubbornness, which outwardly looks as if he falls into a stupor on any occasion.
“...During the training, I became the winner of the professional competition “Teacher of the Year.” I allowed myself to improvise on stage (I was afraid before). There was confidence, courage, and a desire to experiment. There is no irritability or nervousness. At least I learned to control myself. Now there is more energy and desire to act.
Thanks to SVP, I live and devote myself to life with all my passion, without saving. I allow myself to be filled (in selfishness!), because I want to give more to others. I used to consider it an “honor” to be a “martyr” and bear the “cross.” Now I have allowed myself to peel off a layer of culture and feel my nature. It’s a great pleasure to feel yourself!..”
The famous inner smile appears already in the free online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
The article was written using materials from online training on System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan
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