Funny miniature scenes for Teacher's Day. Humorous and funny skits for Teacher's Day for primary and secondary schools
(The song “Hello School” is played to the tune of the song from the film “The Scarecrow-Meow”.)
(2-3 grade)
The morning begins, begins,
The children are waking up, waking up.
Put on your school uniform,
We all took our briefcases with us.
And with a cheerful smile
We flew to school.
I will learn to count and multiply.
And I will also learn to share,
Hello school!
The school is very cool, very great.
We learn a lot of new things, a lot of new things.
And we solved problems,
Essays were written
In English they spoke
They sang and taught poetry.
One, two, sun, three, four, five!
If you get five, you can play!
Lessons are over, I need to play.
Hello childhood!
ONE DAY
FROM THE LIFE OF A TEACHER
(4th grade)
1st student:
Morning. House. Family. Alarm.
Empty refrigerator.
Bag. Umbrella. The stamping of feet.
And the lesson began.
2nd student:
Cards. Globes. Adviсe.
Theorems and answers.
Discussion. Bottom line.
Unexpected call.
3rd student:
Competencies. Program.
Everything is urgent, like a telegram.
Deuces. Nerve. Corvalol.
Student looking at the floor.
4th student:
Contest. Holiday. Meeting.
Meeting for parents.
Puzzled father.
Entertaining ending.
5th student:
Points. Personality. Height. Problems.
Exercise. Method. Topics.
Here are notebooks, a heap, a mass.
Social class passport.
7th student:
Shop. Price. Cost.
Two weeks until payday.
Milk. Groats. Cheese.
Empty wallet.
8th student:
Night. Floor lamp. Sofa. Textbook.
The husband is already asleep, the child is dozing.
Teachers' council. Concert. Report.
Thesis. Federal State Educational Standard. That's it! Waste!
1st student:
We all love you very much
And we wish you a vacation!
All:
And Happy Teacher's Day
Congratulations!
Sketch (grades 5,6,7)
The song by V. Shainsky to the words of M. Plyatskovsky “What they teach at school” sounds. Three people take the stage: a girl and two boys (truants).
1st boy.
Where are you going?
2nd boy.
- I'm tired of school!
They will torture you with lessons again.
Girl.
- That's it, what should we do there?
It's better to just take a walk.
The rest of the students leave.
- Hello, guys! Why are you sitting here?
Is your watch slow today?
1st boy.
- And we decided not to go to school.
We know how to read, write – what else can we learn?
Girl.
- We won’t go to study anymore.
It’s better that we all find work.
Students.
- And who are you going to become?
After all, to work, you need to know a lot.
2nd boy.
- What? there to know? My dad is an engineer in an office,
Draws directly on cardboard.
This work is good
I don't need anything except a pen and pencil.
I’ll take and draw a house, a square...
Good job engineer!
1st boy.
- And I can be a doctor,
Cut something off or sew something on.
Then I’ll give everyone a newsletter, -
That's all! Free all day!
Girl.
Students.
-Are you laughing? To build a house
You can't get by with a pen and pencil.
You need to know the strength of materials and what is put into the concrete.
If you don’t know, this house will collapse.
- Do you want to be a doctor?
Children and adults - treat everyone -
You can't prescribe medicine.
You will harm, not help.
- And who will let you cut a person,
When you don’t know where the ear is and where the eyelid is.
- Well, what are you looking at, huh?
Your affairs are also bad.
About rings and earrings
You won’t even know a little!
— They’ll invite you to the podium in Paris,
And you don't speak French.
- Like a magazine, very fashionable,
Do you suddenly want to read it?
Oh, girlfriend, I feel sorry for you,
I wish you had the Primer in your hands.
- Yes, well, what can I say?
You don't have to be anyone here.
You'll come to the TV
But you won’t find it in the program
The film that is playing there.
And your number won't work.
- Look... you can’t buy
No candy, no pack of chips,
Neither cookies, marmalade,
And neither Fanta nor chewing gum.
- Well, what if you were a banker?
Does it get into your head?
You can't calculate the profit
No, that won’t do, brothers.
- You’re a cook - imagine now.
You can do it quickly, without loss
Read the recipe, cook -
Everything should be tasty.
- Now imagine another one,
The situation is like this:
So I bought a movie ticket.
It doesn’t matter who you go with.
- You decided to call Masha.
You need to write a note.
How will you write a letter?
How will you buy her flowers?
- The girls care.
And you will go to the cinema alone.
- That's right, we need to study.
For effort and reward.
You will know everything, you will read everything,
Everything you need, you will find everything.
1st boy.
- Listen to you, decide -
Go to school every day.
2nd boy.
- Listen, cool, you and I
Let's buy the book "Battleship".
1st boy.
- Yes! And we can find out everything
Read about battleships...
1st boy.
- And about the yacht, that one, remember?!
Where you can’t catch up...
2nd boy.
- And about the boat, which...
(three of us)
- Yes-ah... learning is just great!!!
Girl.
- Well, I can read it
About hairstyles, shoes, colors...
Yes, you can’t count everything.
Students.
- So what, have you been convinced?
And to comprehend everything at the right time,
will help you(all together) TEACHER!
Children sing the song “Congratulations” to the tune of V. Shainsky’s song “What They Teach at School.”
______________________________________________
New Russian grandmothers. (8 classes)
1. Hello, dear ones!
2.I was assigned..
1. Spend today...
2. Don't interrupt me! I was assigned...
1. Spend today...
2. Don't interrupt me! I was instructed (look at 1 grandmother) to conduct... (look again).
1.Hold today's concert..
Pause
2.Why are you bothering me?
1. Because you don’t know how to conduct a concert. If, for example, a singer is performing now, how will you announce her?
2. I’ll say that he will speak now...
1.I'll tell you! ..The singer must be announced by singing. (sings.) Now a singer will perform, she will sing for you...
2. Ha ha..! Interesting! And if acrobats perform, how will you announce them? Over your head? Somersault?
1.But you will announce the acrobats.
2. No, I’ll announce everything.
1.Why?
2. Because the concert must be conducted by a savvy and decisive person.
1.You speak as if you are going to lead not a concert, but a ship in a storm. Just think, captain!
2. The captain is a man! And I am a woman!
1.Oh-oh, hold me... Woman... Look at you, sand is falling off you...
2.Look at you, this garden scarecrow...
1.No, look at her, she’s an old nag
(pushing each other)
2. Okay, that's enough, that's enough. People are looking at us.
1. Oh, really, chavoy, we’ve completely gone crazy old people.
2.And now the song……………….
Song
In your big eyes there is anxiety and sadness,
After all, we again don’t have enough paint for repairs.
You want to send everything into the lilac distance!
Into the lilac distance - whitewashing and painting,
Into the lilac fog - water tap,
In the lilac fog - window putty.
And your vacation floated away into a lilac fog!
In the lilac distance are the Canary Islands and Hawaii.
I would like to leave for a year, or maybe two...
Or maybe you dream of leaving forever.
You dream, but you can barely get there!
The lilac fog over our school is melting,
The director sits in it, and it’s not easy for him -
He is in no hurry to go home, the director understands:
You will have to solve all the questions yourself!
2. Matryon, look, your whole back is white.
1.Where (looks around)
(2nd laughs)
2.I was joking.
1. Fuck you! You're all hee-hee, yes ha-ha.
2. Today we need to laugh and cheer up our respected people. Otherwise they laugh once a year.
1.Why 1?
2. The first of July, when they go on vacation.
1. Let's tell jokes.
2. I'm first.
1.Go ahead.
2. Vovochka received a bad mark in physical education.
Father asks:
Why did your teacher give you a bad grade?
“And he asked to cover the goat with mats.”
Well, I covered it...
1.Now I..
The teacher says to the student:
Let your grandfather come to school tomorrow!
Do you mean father?
No, grandpa. I want to show him what mistakes his son makes in his homework.
2. You should just invite your grandfathers...
1. This is a joke (offended)
2.Okay, okay, announce the musical number
1. (singing) I’ll sing for you...
2. It’s not you who will sing, but the guys.
Musical number
All students line up on stage and sing to the tune of the song “Smile” from the movie “Carnival Night”)
If you sometimes feel sad and sad,
If someone is being naughty in class,
This is not on purpose or on purpose,
Our energy is just bubbling.
So let's all the excitement
Let's forget at this hour.
And good mood
Will not leave you again.
If we don’t answer well in class,
If we forget to learn formulas,
We also get what we deserve,
But we know how to hide our grief.
money
2. Once I was riding in a minibus, I read the inscription “Whoever slams the door will become a beneficiary!!!”
1. You laugh at the old and sick..
Listen to the story:
And for the third time the old man came to blue sea, and had mercy on him Goldfish and gave him Raskolnikov’s address...
2. (dreamy)
And the sun is shining brightly, and the landscape is beautiful when C2H5OH is splashing in the stomach (ts 2 as 5 oas)
1.Are you crazy, Flower, you’re at school.
money
1. Little flower, let’s talk about love.
2.What kind of love do you like at your age?
1. Well, you can dream...
2.Now you will see about love with your own eyes, how Othello loves Desdemona
Sketch of Othello and Desdemona
Othello (4 grades)
(rushes towards her)
I hear steps. Finally home
My wife. And cook me lunch.
I'm fucking hungry, Desdemona!
Desdemona
Othello, I don't have lunch.
Othello
I really have no time for jokes, my dear,
Our refrigerator has been empty for a long time!
I'm just dying of hunger...
Desdemona
But I was working, not at the cinema!
Othello
What's in your bag? Notebooks again!
Did you bring it home?! Woe is me!
Desdemona
I see that your nerves are not all right,
You even screamed more than once in your sleep.
(Sits down to check his notebooks.)
Othello
Listen, Desdemona, really
It would be nice to have a snack now!
Desdemona
Othello! We already ate today!
And it’s even harmful to eat at such a late hour.
But if you really want, you can, honey,
Fry the eggs, just do it yourself.
Don't distract me, please, my love!
There are three eggs left, that's enough for us.
Othello
What three? I ate two yesterday.
Desdemona
OK then. Fry yourself one.
Othello
But the refrigerator is empty!
Desdemona
Well, I don’t know where it could suddenly disappear?!
Othello
Listen, I have a job too,
But I can’t think of anything because I’m hungry!
Desdemona
Oh, darling, come on, really, think of something...
Do your homework! And hunger will disappear.
Othello
My hunger will not be satisfied. Really
Is it so difficult for you to go to the store?
Desdemona
I thought I'd come by at the end of the week,
But you could buy something yourself!
You're disturbing me, honey. By the way,
So little time left, dear!
I will be on duty at school until nightfall:
My class is walking at the disco.
Othello
What disco?! What kind of joke?
Our family is about to be destroyed!
Desdemona
Oh, you know, there's not a minute left,
My class is already waiting for me there, go.
Othello
Like hell from incense, you run away from home.
You work is more important, not family.
Have you prayed at night, Desdemona?
Die, unfortunate one! Die, my love!
__________________
(9th grade)
Teaching is not work, but renunciation,
The ability to give your all,
Leave for a long feat and torment,
And in this we see light and grace.
Teaching - when in the eyes of cold
The dawn of understanding will light up,
And you will understand: I tried not in vain
And it was not in vain that he scattered his knowledge.
Showered with colored rain of bouquets
And illuminated by the brilliance of hundreds of eyes,
Accept, teacher, not a word of greeting,
And part of the soul is from grateful us!
Song to the melody of “Closing the Circle” (end, everyone sings)
1. Here is one of those stories
Which we are arguing about here
And not a day, not two,
And for many years.
It’s not easy at school,
We ask questions here
And the teacher will answer them.
Why does one strive for knowledge?
Graduate and first grader
Why do we rush to class like a river?
How the teacher comes to class
And he teaches us a lesson,
We all want to know for sure
Chorus:
Stand here in a circle
Student, teacher, friend.
The light shines in the windows of knowledge,
Leaving a mark on the heart.
Let the years go by
The school is always with us.
There are a hundred roads before us
The school has grown a sprout.
2.Opening the doors of life
We all trust you, teacher,
We believe in what lies ahead.
Many songs have been sung about you
Forget sadness, our circle is small,
And call us again to the world of knowledge.
Chorus.
3.If knowledge is in the palm of your hand,
Then you won't drown in dreams,
You are not lost for days.
We remember you, teacher.
We go into life with knowledge
The teacher raised people in us.
Each bird has its own motive,
Each song has its own motive,
The school also has its own motive.
Everything we know will be useful
You, teacher, will be in my dreams
The kids are all grateful to you.
Chorus.
_________
(1st grade)
1. What student is without mistakes?
Without a deuce? - Well, what can I say?
But still your smiles
We remember and will appreciate.
2.And every kind word
Will remain in our hearts
And we are ready to bow
In deeds, not in words.
3.We ourselves and our parents
Now we understand more clearly
How difficult it is for a teacher today
Cope with your task.
4
.Teacher - as if it’s not fashionable.
Other professions honor...
Thank you for your noble
And selfless work!
“Golden Wedding” (“Cuckoo”) (grades 1,2,3)
It's a holiday, a holiday at our school.
We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts.
How nice it is for us to look at you.
And smiles are everything for you.
Ave.
Oh, the student and the teacher
Life at school is great!
Oh, the student and the teacher
May fate smile on us!
Oh, the student and the teacher
So many years, so many years together.
Ah, the student and the teacher,
May we live for two hundred years!
This holiday is only once a year.
But we always love you very much.
May you and we be lucky in life
And we drink milk for you today!
Musical number to the melody “What is autumn?” (beginning, everyone sings)
What's going on at school today?
We will answer your question directly:
It's a holiday here with us,
Here we have
Teacher's Day, the very same!
Chorus
Happy to see you all now
At this most exciting hour.
Happiness, smiles, light, kindness
Adults and children wish you well.
A teacher working at a school
The best teacher in the world,
Because he has his big heart
He gives it to all the children without any reserve.
Chorus
1 grandma:
Let in this hall, at this hour
The lights are burning brighter!
And again we congratulate you, our teachers!
Our junior classes' loud laughter is the best reward!
The kids will be very happy to congratulate you.
Ave. (repeat)
Performing a song to the tune of “Forward, midshipmen”(to parents)
By the will of fate it happened
Or is this the cross you have?
And all my strength was given to the school,
And going to class is like going into battle.
And at night you dream about the board,
And you have no other worries,
As soon as tomorrow what happens,
And will the class understand the task?
Chorus
Keep your nose up, dear teacher,
Is life hard or good?
Knowledge and soul are one,
Knowledge and soul are one.
The love for students is the same!
Years will pass, centuries of shadow
They will disappear, everything will close in a circle.
But the warm word is “teacher”
Suddenly our hearts will be troubled.
Will always make you remember something
Dear, close to you
In the twentieth century and in the two hundredth -
The teacher is eternal on earth!
Chorus
Keep your nose up, dear teacher,
Is life hard or good?
Knowledge and soul are one,
Knowledge and soul are one.
The love for students is the same!
|
2 -3 grade |
|
"If teachers disappear, What will happen in the world then, friends? Rudeness and ignorance will destroy souls, there will be no joy in people's lives. If the teachers disappear, the earth will be unhappy and poor, should we let this happen? If the teachers disappear, who will tell us that the Earth is eternal? Eternal Earth! So the Teacher is eternal! Isn’t that what you want, friends? No, we won't let this happen so that the word “teacher” disappears! Through the centuries, through the centuries your profession will last forever!” Musical number based on “Hope” (parents) 1.What once brought you here? You didn't look for easier ways. Mind and heart, soul and warmth They gave to the younger generations For the sake of affirming kindness Through all the doubts and worries Brought high dreams And they knew the joys and ups. CHORUS: The school is calling you, My heart still breaks for her. And in the heart of that young people, What is called your hope. May our hopes come true, Everywhere on earth there is such a share. Your ideals come to life now Embodies the young tribe Years of separation are not a problem, Memory will pave the right path to childhood. You are everyone's teacher forever The most important, the very, very first. CHORUS. 2 grandma Teacher's Heart...Well, what can you compare it to? With a cosmic Galaxy that has no boundaries? Or maybe with the bright Sun, which gives light for people? With the depths of the sea, which sleeps for hundreds of years? No, we won’t compare! But we will say: “Knock!” Teacher’s Heart - HOPE, BELIEVE, LOVE!” |
Opened up like the soul of a child.
Why have we gathered together again?
What are we going to talk about and very loudly?
Leading.
By what craving we are united,
That we call everyone in the hall friends,
And what are all hearts full of today?
Like what? We are very lucky with our teachers!
Leading.
Today is teachers' day - elementary, middle, high school.
We congratulate you on behalf of all the children!
Together:
Good luck, happiness - be healthy everyone!
Scene “Prisoner of the Caucasus” (Appendix 1)
Poems by first graders ( application 2)
Leading: In aviation it is strictly believed that
How many hours did the pilot fly?
Few people know about the teacher.
How long did he stand at the board!
Leading: How many notebooks did I check at night?
How many plans have I written in my life?
How many times have you believed a person?
And I punished myself for it.
Leading : For wisdom and knowledge,
For your restless patience,
For charm and beauty,
For amazing optimism,
For integrity and exactingness,
For dignity, for faith...
Together : We praise you, teacher!
Leading: Teacher's Day! Listen with your heart
In these sounds that are dear to us!
Everything related to youth, childhood
Together : We owe it to the teachers!
Scene “New Russian grandmothers” (Appendix 3)
Leading:
Teacher's Heart...
Well, what can you compare it to?
With the cosmic Galaxy,
Which has no boundaries?
Leading:
Or maybe with the bright Sun, which gives people light?
With the depths of the sea, which sleeps for hundreds of years?
Leading: No, we won't compare!
And we will say: “Knock!”
Teacher's Heart -
Hope! Believe! Love!
1C.: Did you call the sanitary and epidemiological station?
2S.: No? Why not? Got a call that school No. 8 terrible epidemic foot and mouth disease Everyone is required to get vaccinated.
1C.: No, professor, this is not foot-and-mouth disease, look at their faces - obvious Lawrence-Moon-Birde-Bill syndrome.
2S.: Yes, this disease develops in the body of teachers, weakened by lessons, school events, teacher councils, comprehensive inspections. All the symptoms are visible on the face: trembling hands, a confused look, a constant smile on the lips.
1C.: It is urgent to take measures to eliminate this disease.
2S.: IV?
1C.: There's not enough for everyone!
2S.: Syringe?
1C.: We'll get by!
2S.: Potion?
1C.: No, it's no use! This won't help anymore!
The only thing we can do so that everyone leaves work today in health, a bright mind and memory is to clear our heads of bad thoughts.
2S.: Close your eyes. I drive away your bad thoughts: never give more than two marks - these are bad thoughts, do not take tests and dictations, these are also bad thoughts. I ask everyone to raise their hands up, slowly lower your hands to your head and scratch it, and then throw everything that stuck to your hands to the ground - these were your bad thoughts. You are all healed now.
1C.: We wish you health, good students and more vacation days! Happy holiday!
Number : skit “A Lifelong Story” (Appendix 4)
What kind of trials does a hectic life have in store for a teacher! Lack of money, excess of work, joy from the success of students, tears from undeserved insult, fatigue from the endless bustle and a “second wind” from what was said at the right time kind words. And today we want to tell you a lot of kind, sincere words of love, respect, gratitude, because most often we forget to do this every day.Leading : As if everything froze until dawn,
The door doesn't creak, no one screams,
Only the director in his office
He stays at school until midnight.
Leading : Then RONO asks you to write a report,
Then the tax office needs a report.
He will not abandon his teachers
And he knows the guys inside out.
Leading: The floor is given to the school director Iraida Anatolyevna Tanachova. (Speech by the director with congratulations)
Leading: Every year young teachers come to schools. So this year a young teacher, Anastasia Alekseevna Zhuravleva, came to us. We invite you Anastasia Alekseevna to our stage to take an oath:
Zhuravleva A.A.:Young Teacher's Oath
1. Courageously and decisively endure all the joys and hardships of being a teacher.
2. Follow the director's orders, because the director is always right.
3. Do not erase the grades in the journal until the next page.
4. Teach children kindness and raise worthy citizens of Russia.
5. Do not give more than two bad grades per lesson.
6. C bad mood do not enter the class.
7. Lend money to colleagues until payday.
8. Do not borrow from colleagues until payday.
9. Do not smoke on school grounds.
10. Take part in all corporate parties together with the team.
Leading: And now the reciprocal oath of the school director:
Director's Oath
1. Support the teacher with words and rubles.
2. Load the teacher with work in accordance with job description.
3. Teach to enter the classroom only with good mood
Number dance with umbrellas (1st grade)
Our teachers are selfless people. I have the impression that they are constantly at school. You come in the morning - the teachers are already there, you leave school - they are still there...Leading:
But each of them has a family, children. And how do their husbands react to this?!(baby crying)
Number (boys)
Male teachers appear on stage in aprons with ladlefuls.
Song to the melody of the Ukrainian folk song “Pidmanula”
When we walked down the aisle,
You said seller.
And the teacher was:
Pidmanula, pidvela!
Chorus (in chorus):
You fooled me
You drove me
I pushed the kitchen and children away.
I left for classes.
When you come home from school,
So you scrape everything with your hand.
You write, you write until the morning,
Even though it's time to sleep.
Chorus (in chorus):
You fooled me
You drove me
I pushed the kitchen and children away.
I left for the meeting.
My years are disappearing
My whole life is disappearing:
Who got married to the teacher -
That lost man.
Chorus (in chorus):
You fooled me
You drove me
Even though I grind my teeth.
Anyway, I love you
Leading:
Happy holiday
We congratulate you,
Never grieve about anything
And we wish you never to get sick,
Have a happy life, success in everything.
Nomination of teachers (Appendix 5)
Verka Serduchka (Appendix 6)
Leading:
Today is Teacher's Day. There's still a whole month left until the end of the quarter.
I wonder what lies ahead for you, dear teachers?
Leading:
Among teachers there is ancient belief that all the predictions made on this day come true! Shall we check?
Leading:
Let's check!
Leading:
And now we offer youholiday lottery to predict your fate. We ask everyone to prepare their ticket!
(music background)
Leading:
Who has No. 1 - Button - You will be given something beautiful from clothes this month
Leading:
№2-Wheel - this month you will win a car if you buy a lottery ticket.
Leading:
№3-Flower - this month you will become even sweeter and more beautiful
Presenters:
№4-Candy - A sweet, sweet life awaits you this month
Leading:
№5-10 kopecks - this month you will be a very moneyed person
Leading:
№6-Bay leaf - Great success awaits you in your work.
Leading:
№7-Geographical map - a trip awaits you this month
Leading:
№8-Pepper - be careful, you may quarrel with your friend.
Leading:
№9-Dummy - this year you will have an addition to your family
Leading:
№10-Heart - You will have a love interest this month
Leading:
№11-Ring - this year you will definitely attend a wedding.
Leading:
№12-Crown - we congratulate you, today you are the queen of our holiday!
(music)
Number: ditties performed by students in grades 2-4 (Appendix 7)
Leading:
Our dear teachers!
On this holiday - Teachers' Day -
Forget all your worries
And look at the world more cheerfully.
Leading:
You are always a source of light for us,
And the guys all, as if by agreement,
They bring you beautiful bouquets.
And for them the shine of your eyes -
Leading:
Best Award for your efforts,
Better than any of the praise.
And they have one desire:
Just to bring you joy.
Number: dramatization of the fairy tale “Teremok”, the main characters of the teacher’s fairy tale (Appendix 8)
Leading: May there be happiness and health,
Let there be enough strength for everything,
And every day ordinary life
May it only bring you happiness!
Leading: Your experience, knowledge, generosity and participation
They will leave a good mark on our souls!
Teacher's happiness is formed
From our student victories.
Leading: And let the years fly forward,
There is no need to be afraid of age,
May you have many years of experience,
But in your heart there are only 20!
Leading: What a huge heart you need to have, To generously distribute it piece by piece to us day after day, year after year!
Leading
:
And what a kind, patient and ageless soul should be.
Leading
:
Yes, school remains a bright, joyful island of childhood for each of us. An adult will never return to it.
Leading
:
Only teachers on this island have permanent registration. After all, the school is their home, and all the students are their children, helpers, and friends.
Number: Postman Pechkin with telegrams for teachers (Appendix 9)
Leading:
Teacher! Faithful companion of childhood,
He is like a mother to us, like an older brother!
And kindness big heart
He warms all the guys!
Leading:
We love you when pointer
You lead us across the seas,
When you read fairy tales to us.
Your care, your affection,
We need them all our lives.
Leading:
Thank you for being inquisitive in your work,
That they are always patient with us, restless people,
Because you couldn’t live without us (all concert participants leave)
All together
: Thank you, dear ones! Thank you very much! (in unison)
Appendix No. 1
Scene "Prisoner of the Caucasus".
1st. Bambarbiyakirgudu.
2nd. Our dear teachers!
3rd. Markavaracuse.
2nd. We're here to thank you for your hard work.
1st Mymsyn carats.
Song(Styopa and Vanya )
If I were a sultan.
If I were a sultan, I would go to school
And I became a teacher, I would read books,
But on the other hand, in such cases
So many troubles and worries - oh, God save
We want to wish everyone happiness from the bottom of our hearts
And for new victories, dial strength
A warm greeting to all teachers
Let's just say: there is no one better in this world than you
Chorus: It’s not bad to be a teacher
It is much better to live in peace.
Appendix No. 2
1. Our dear teachers!
We would like to congratulate you today.
Don't be strict with us today,
We are burning with excitement.
2.We, a gang of noisy schoolchildren,
We give you hearts and flowers.
It takes courage to teach us,
The tasks are oh so difficult!
3.You burn with the candle of knowledge,
Bringing us their deep light.
You only want one thing from us:
So that we become wiser in return.
4. You give us all a start in life,
Giving only affection and love,
You give up every bit of yourself
In the name of knowledge again and again.
5. Our dear teachers!
We wish you good health,
And may your souls not be touched,
Frosts of life's winter.
Appendix No. 3
New Russian grandmothers. (8 classes)
1. Hello, dear ones!
2.I was assigned..
1. Spend today...
2. Don't interrupt me! I was assigned...
1. Spend today...
2. Don't interrupt me! I was instructed (look at 1 grandmother) to conduct... (look again).
1.Hold today's concert..
Pause
2.Why are you bothering me?
1. Because you don’t know how to conduct a concert. If, for example, a singer is performing now, how will you announce her?
2. I’ll say that he will speak now...
1.I'll tell you! ..The singer must be announced by singing. (sings.) Now a singer will perform, she will sing for you...
2. Ha ha..! Interesting! And if acrobats perform, how will you announce them? Over your head? Somersault?
1.But you will announce the acrobats.
2. No, I’ll announce everything.
1.Why?
2. Because the concert must be conducted by a savvy and decisive person.
1.You speak as if you are going to lead not a concert, but a ship in a storm. Just think, captain!
2. The captain is a man! And I am a woman!
1.Oh-oh, hold me... Woman... Look at you, sand is falling off you...
2.Look at you, this garden scarecrow...
1.No, look at her, she’s an old nag
(pushing each other)
2. Okay, that's enough, that's enough. People are looking at us.
1. Oh, really, chavoy, we’ve completely gone crazy old people.
2.And now the song……………….
Song
In your big eyes there is anxiety and sadness,
After all, we again don’t have enough paint for repairs.
You want to send everything into the lilac distance!
Into the lilac distance - whitewashing and painting,
In the lilac fog - a water tap,
In the lilac fog - window putty.
And your vacation floated away into a lilac fog!
In the lilac distance are the Canary Islands and Hawaii.
I would like to leave for a year, or maybe two...
Or maybe you dream of leaving forever.
You dream, but you can barely get there!
The lilac fog over our school is melting,
The director sits in it, and it’s not easy for him -
He is in no hurry to go home, the director understands:
You will have to solve all the questions yourself!
2. Matryon, look, your whole back is white.
1.Where (looks around)
(2nd laughs)
2.I was joking.
1. Fuck you! You're all hee-hee, yes ha-ha.
2. Today we need to laugh and cheer up our respected people. Otherwise they laugh once a year.
1.Why 1?
2. The first of July, when they go on vacation.
1. Let's tell jokes.
2. I'm first.
1.Go ahead.
2. Vovochka received a bad mark in physical education.
Father asks:
Why did your teacher give you a bad grade?
– And he asked to cover the goat with mats.
Well, I covered it...
1.Now I..
The teacher says to the student:
Let your grandfather come to school tomorrow!
Do you mean father?
No, grandpa. I want to show him what mistakes his son makes in his homework.
2. You should just invite your grandfathers...
1. This is a joke (offended)
2.Okay, okay, announce the musical number
1. (singing) I’ll sing for you...
2. It’s not you who will sing, but the guys.
Musical number
All students line up on stage and sing to the tune of the song "Smile" from the movie "Carnival Night")
If you sometimes feel sad and sad,
If someone is being naughty in class,
This is not on purpose or on purpose,
Our energy is just bubbling.
So let's all the excitement
Let's forget at this hour.
And good mood
Will not leave you again.
If we don’t answer well in class,
If we forget to learn formulas,
We also get what we deserve,
But we know how to hide our grief.
money
2. Once I was riding in a minibus, I read the inscription “Whoever slams the door will become a beneficiary!!!”
1. You laugh at the old and sick..
Listen to the story:
And for the third time the old man came to the blue sea, and the Goldfish had mercy on him and gave him Raskolnikov’s address...
2. (dreamy)
And the sun is shining brightly, and the landscape is beautiful when C2H5OH is splashing in the stomach (ts 2 as 5 oas)
1.Are you crazy, Flower, you’re at school?
Appendix No. 4
Sketch “A Lifelong History”
Once upon a time in our noisy school
A strange incident happened
Boy Vova suddenly thought
Apparently it was a moment
Vova thought and laughed
Everyone didn't know why
Everyone tried to ask
Why are you laughing, I don’t understand?
We've been asking for a long time
Tell us everything
So that you now, on stage
We were able to show everything
Teacher
Wow! What is it, did you wash your hands or not!
What did you do in class and got yourself dirty?
Vova
(1 class)
I went to physical education
There I was climbing a pipe
And I also played there
On a rolling pin and a circle...
Teacher
(a few years later)
Wow! You're being a bully again, I should call my parents
Vova
(5th grade) Speak as much as necessary
I hid the belt under the bed.
Teacher
(in a few more years)
Wow! What is this?
Why did you break the glass?
Vova
(9kl) Behind the glass stood….
And teased me through the window
Teacher
(releases class)
Wow! Well, time has flown by
So he has grown up, a graduate!
Vova
(11kl)
Yes, now I’m no longer at school,
Not an ordinary student
Teacher
And where are you going?
Are you waiting? last call?
Vova
(11kl)
Yes, I haven't thought about it yet
There is still time.
Vova (position: teacher)Katya (first grade only)Vova
Katya, look at your hands? Where did you get so dirty?
Kate
- I was playing in the snowballs in the yard,
There’s not much snow, but that’s not a big deal...
Once upon a time in our noisy school
A strange incident happened...
Appendix No. 5
A week before the holiday, we conducted a poll in grades 5-9 in the following categories:
1. " Kind heart"
2. “Cool teacher!”
3. « Modern teacher»
4. "
A ray of light in a dark kingdom"
5.
“He will stop a galloping horse and enter a burning hut.”
6. "An inexhaustible source of energy"
7. "Lady Style"
8. "Golden Hands"
9. "Hero of Our Time"
10. "Beauty will save the world"
And today we are in a hurry to announce the voting results! We ask you to come up to our stage!
(drum roll)
Teachers rise to fanfare
Leading:
In the nomination “Kind Heart” the winner is…………………, which received…………votes
In the “Cool Teacher” category, ………………. wins, for which the guys gave ……….votes.
The nomination “Modern Teacher” is awarded to ……………………. The children gave ………votes for her
In the nomination« An inexhaustible source of energy,” the guys agreed that this is……………. ....points!
Nomination« A ray of light in the dark kingdom” is awarded…………….. …………….. points!
In the category “He will stop a galloping horse and enter a burning hut”…… wins. ……. Voice
In the category “Lady Style” the winner is…………………, who received…………votes
The “Golden Hands” nomination is awarded to……………….. ………………. points!
In the nomination “Hero of Our Time” the winner is ……………, who collected ……….. votes!
And finally, the nomination “Beauty will save the world” goes to …………….. The guys gave … for it. vote!
Leading:
These are our winners! Let's applaud them!
Appendix No. 6
Remade song (to the tune of “I’m like a May Rose” by Verka Serduchka)
Why, why are tears falling
They're dripping bitterly, they're dripping bitterly
You ask, why am I wrinkled?
I'm guilty, I'm guilty.
chorus:
I'm just coming from the road,
My feet are cold
I hasten to congratulate you,
Send you a kiss.
I ran into a pole
I wanted to congratulate you,
I can't say
I'll just dance!
chorus:
I'm just coming from the road,
My feet are cold
I hasten to congratulate you,
Send you a kiss.
Appendix No. 7
Ditties for Teacher's Day (for teachers from students)
Like our cool mom
We've got a lot to do?
We promise on a glorious holiday -
We will obey all year!
And we'll sing to the director
We have a separate verse.
So that at school this afternoon
Rule of fun!
Let the director be our favorite
He will forgive us for our pranks!
On Teacher's Day - let it pass
The stern look will fly away!
So that a smile illuminates
She has a beautiful face!
Every day we repeat:
Our director is golden!
On Teacher's Day, everyone at once
We will tell the teachers:
Let's be peaceful in class
so that you are not ashamed!
No to chatty students!
No - to pugnacious boys!
We promise to learn!
Yes to fives! No - kolam!
Ivanov is not at school again?
Where is Petya Ivanov?
He ran away from class to the field -
Bring flowers to school!
Where is Sidorova Dasha? –
Here he runs without feeling his feet!
For our teacher
I made a pie!
On this holiday the most glorious
We'll sing another verse
And give it to a cool mom
The most fabulous bouquet!
We sang ditties for you
How they did it - from the heart.
So that you don't get sick a bit
Now we hasten to wish!
Appendix No. 8
Impromptu theater "Teremok"
There is a tower in the field (Creak-creak!).
A small mouse runs past. (Wow!)
The little mouse saw it. (Wow, you!) teremok (Creak-creak), stopped, looked inside, and the mouse thought (Wow, you!) that since the teremok (Creak-creak) is empty, she will live there.
A frog-frog (Quantically interesting!) galloped up to the mansion (Creak-creak) and began to look into the windows.
A small mouse saw her (Wow, you!) and invited her to live together. The frog agreed (Quantiresno!), and the two of them began to live together.
A runaway bunny runs past (Wow!). He stopped and looked, and then a mouse-norushka (Wow, you!) and a frog-croak (Quantiresque!) jumped out of the tower (Creak-creak!) and dragged the little bunny running around (Wow!) into the tower (Creak-creak! ).
A little fox-sister walks by (Tra-la-la!). He looks - there is a tower (Creak-creak). I looked out the window and there was a little mouse (Wow, you!), a frog (Quantires!) and a little bunny (Wow!) living. The little fox-sister asked pitifully (Tra-la-la!), and they accepted her into the company.
A gray barrel top came running (Tyts-tyts-tyts!), looked into the door and asked who lived in the mansion (Creak-creak!). And from the little house (Creak-creak!) responded the mouse-norushka (Wow, you!), the frog-croak (Quantiresno!), the running bunny (Wow!), the little fox-sister (Tra-la-la!) and invited him to their place. The top and gray barrel happily ran into the little mansion (Creak-creak) (Tyts-tyts-tyts!). The five of them began to live together.
Here they are in the little house (creak-creak!) living, singing songs. Mouse-norushka (Wow, you!), Frog-frog (Quantiresno!), Running bunny (Wow!), Little fox-sister (Tra-la-la!) and Top-gray barrel (Tyts-tyts-tyts !)
Suddenly a clubfooted bear walks by (Wow!). He saw the little house (Creak-creak!), heard songs, stopped and the clubfoot bear roared at the top of his lungs (Wow!). The mouse-norushka (Wow, you!), the frog-frog (Quantiresno!), the bunny-runner (Wow!), the little fox-sister (Tra-la-la!) and the top-gray barrel (Tyts-tyts- tyts!) and invited the clubfooted bear (Wow!) to live with them.
The bear (Wow!) climbed into the tower (Creak-creak!). I climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed - I just couldn’t get in and decided that it would be better to live on the roof.
A bear climbed onto the roof (Wow!) and just sat down - fuck! - the mansion fell apart (Creak-creak!).
The tower creaked (creak-creak!), fell on its side and completely fell apart. We barely had time to jump out of it: a mouse-norushka (Wow!), a frog-frog (Quantiresno!), a little bunny-runner (Wow!), a little fox-sister (Tra-la-la!), and a top-gray barrel (Tyts-tyts-tats!) - everyone was safe and sound, but they began to grieve - where could they live next? They began to carry logs, saw boards, and build a new little house (Creak-creak!). They built it better than before! And the mouse-norushka (Wow, you!), the frog-croak (Quantiresno!), the little bunny-runner (Wow!), the little fox-sister (Tra-la-la!) and the top-gray barrel (Tyts) began to live together. -tyts-tyts!) a clubfooted bear (Wow!) and two-from-a-casket (We'll do everything!) in the new little house (Creak-creak!).
Appendix No. 10
Funny telegrams of congratulations to teachers
Russian language teachers
Were you able to teach children this way?
What, how long will they be alive?
They will be able to dedicate to the Fatherland
Souls have wonderful impulses.
Your work, like our century, is golden!
Pushkin, Lermontov, Tolstoy.
History teachers
You taught without boredom
History, your science.
I'm not the only one convinced of this,
The historian Karamzin himself.
For teachers of English and Spanish languages
Children could be taught this way,
So that they can read
Not just comics in the magazine,
But also us in the original
Without difficulties or problems.
Cervantes, Burns, O. Henry, Twain.
For math teachers
This is how the children taught your subject,
They forgot the TV!
Everything is still being calculated.
I'm delighted!
Pythagoras.
Physics teachers
The children loved physics
My laws have been studied.
I am simply delighted with you!
Greetings,
Isaac Newton.
Biology teachers
You told the children that
That people are created by labor.
So that they can study your subject,
A carload of labor had to be invested.
Three carriages, to be more precise.
Vavilov, Darwin and Linnaeus.
Geography teachers
You taught geography
Visited in absentia with children
Many cities and countries.
I'm delighted!
Magellan.
Chemistry teachers
The subject was well studied
They didn't forget my table.
Loved chemistry-science
Which means the dream was in hand!
I don't regret it at all.
Father of the table
Mendeleev.
For physical education teachers
There is no better lesson
What is our favorite subject?
You, dear physical trainers,
All the graduates love it!
To the director
Everyone knows: glory to our school
Created by your efforts.
Ushinsky himself congratulates you,
Janusz Korczak and Sukhomlinsky.
dated October 2, 2015 order No. 1
"Joke order of the students"
Secret order from the school government headquarters.
School uniform
Calls to class (from class - remain)
Punishment for being late
Come to class with a girlfriend (boyfriend)
Don't do homework- no one will check it anyway
Play silently in class - on mobile phone etc., if everything else has been done
By mutual agreement with the school management, October 5 is designated as Student Self-Government Day.
In the morning, the director and teachers transfer their powers to us and leave school before next day– from this moment this order officially comes into force, and pass on to the students.
On the day of self-government the following are cancelled:
On this day it is allowed:
The length of lessons is set at 15 minutes.
Every free 30 minutes everyone works for the benefit of the school - we must show teachers that they can trust us with the school:
Junior classes water flowers in all classrooms
Fifth graders quietly follow them: eliminating traces of watering and preventing the possibility of a flood
The sixth graders put things in order in the teachers' room, in the offices of the head teachers and the principal - everything unnecessary and dubious is immediately taken to the landfill. Cool magazines - primarily notebooks with And tests- in the second.
Eighth graders organize reagents, instruments, and visual material in physics, chemistry, and biology classrooms. The reagents are poured into kitchen jars for cereals and spices - this way they will stand more compactly and look better. The main thing is to remember that copper sulfate is in a jar labeled “Salt”, dry fuel for burners is in a “Pasta” jar, and alcohol is poured into a bottle labeled “Birch Sap”.
The seventh graders help them - they wipe the dust off the skeleton, cover it with varnish and reassemble it. If there are any extra parts left during assembly, give them to the girls. They will make decorations out of them for the skeleton, as well as apply light makeup and paint his nails (or whatever he has instead).
We work until we complete what we set out to do.
We will report on completion of the work personally.
In the evening we go home, with the exception of those on duty.
In the morning, we return the reins to the teachers and accept compliments.
School government headquarters
municipal budgetary education institution Zamytskaya municipal basic secondary school municipal formation "Temkinsky district" of the Smolensk region
dated October 2, 2015 order No. 2
“Secret order of the school director for student self-government day”
I order:
On October 5, all employees come to work in comfortable clothes and shoes without heels.
Pretending that you are going home, you actually disperse and lie down in shelters around the school. Dispersal diagram is attached. Obtain binoculars and helmets in advance from the caretaker.
Whatever you see, do not take any action without my command, do not declassify yourself.
Remaining composed and calm until the most valuable things begin to be thrown out of school - notebooks with tests, class magazines and my game console. Take away and save at any cost!
On Self-Government Day, the following safety measures will be taken at school:
There will be 2 fire trucks on duty near the school, disguised as donut booths.
At my request, the duty service of the Ministry of Emergency Situations will be on high alert all day. If suspicious sounds and flashes are detected from the chemistry and physics classrooms, a rescue team will arrive within a minute.
Biology teachers have no reason to worry: the caretaker, Uncle Misha, connected all the bones of the skeleton with bolts and covered it with paraffin - the students will not be able to unscrew it, and they will not be able to paint it either - the paint will slide.
All cabinets, tables, chairs and pots screwed to floors and window sills. The cabinets also have additional garage locks.
To avoid a flood, all the taps in the school were turned off by a plumber and wrapped with anchor chains.
P.S. Oil, paraffin and drying oil were no longer used on the walls of classrooms and corridors. If they are covered with graffiti - dear colleagues, get ready for a cleanup day.
Designate the order as “Top Secret”. Announce it individually to all school employees against signature.
School director: I.A. Tanachova
FUNNY SCENES FROM SCHOOL LIFEOffered to your attention humorous skits they will not require their performers to memorize large texts (playing the role of a teacher can even use a cheat sheet included in the class magazine), and they will not need complex costumes. Rehearsals will take a minimum of time. At the same time, the themes of all the skits are very close to the children. It will be useful for them to look at themselves from the outside, to laugh at their mistakes.
Scene "Teacher"
Characters:
Teacher Olga Alekseevna
Director
Students
The teacher enters the classroom, and all the desks in it are empty.
TEACHER (screams joyfully):
- Hooray! The students are sick, there will be no lessons! That's lucky!
They begin to overturn chairs. He draws devils on the blackboard, and sticks chewing gum on teacher Ushinsky’s nose in the portrait.
The director appears at the door.
DIRECTOR:
- Olga Alekseevna! Now workers will come here to seal the windows. I sent the children to the next office.
The teacher sighs and heads to another office.
Enters another class - every single student is safe and sound.
And the teacher was happy again. Even stronger than last time!
TEACHER (in a voice excited with joy):
- Hello, my dear beloved children!
Scene "At recess in the staff room"
(A lexey E Roshin)
Characters:
Director
History teacher
Chemistry teacher
Physics teacher
Math teacher
Astronomy teacher
Teacher of Russian language and literature
Fizruk
Duty
The bell rings. Teachers enter the “teacher’s room” with magazines and notebooks.
- There is only the fourth lesson left to stand...
- And the fifth hold out...
Everyone exhales together and takes validol.
-
I'm out of validol!!!
-
Take it from the first aid kit.
The last one to enter shouts:
- It's coming! It's coming! (and everyone lines up at attention)
The director enters.
DIRECTOR (takes validol) :
-
Hello, colleagues.
ALL (in chorus):
- Hello!
DIRECTOR :
- Well, is everything assembled? Then let's start the meeting. Let's start with the emergency. The whole school says it's like something was missing in history class.
HISTORY TEACHER:
- I just asked in 7th b who took Ishmael. And do you know what they answered me? "We didn't take it!"
CHEMISTRY TEACHER:
-
Or maybe he rolled under the table?
FIZRUK:
-
Should you worry, these are children. They will play and return.
DIRECTOR :
-
7th "b"? I sympathize with you, these will never be returned.
HISTORY TEACHER:
- But Ishmael...
DIRECTOR:
- What fell was lost. We need to take better care of our things. Speaking of things, (addresses the chemistry teacher), what's wrong with your suit?
CHEMISTRY TEACHER:
- It was Sidorov who again invented gunpowder in the second lesson.
DIRECTOR (clearing ear):
- Yes, I heard that. Well, what did you do?
CHEMISTRY TEACHER:
- As usual, the parents collected the fragments and went to school.
DIRECTOR :
- Advise Sidorov to invent lime, putty and paint before his parents arrive. By the way, about paint. Inscriptions in Latin periodically appear on the walls: x, y, and so on. (Addresses the math teacher) A algebra - an important subject, but you assign too many problems, the children do not have enough space in their notebooks. But the Astronomer pleased us.
ASTRONOMY TEACHER:
- Yesterday a unique discovery in the field of astronomy was made at our school. Fifth grade student Seryozha Bykov recorded the appearance of eighteen new stars. Stars appeared around Seryozha Bykov’s head at the moment of its contact with the door frame of the astronomy office.
DIRECTOR :
- Yes, the native school can produce its own Platos and quick-witted Newtons. And also, in fact, the Dostoevskys. By the way, what are the results of the essay?
LITERATURE TEACHER:
- Overall, not bad. For example, Sidorov writes (reads excerpts from school essays like: “the boy in the boat was quickly rowing with the yoke”)
DIRECTOR :
- It's good to hear. What, there was already mail today?
PHYSICS TEACHER:
-
Yes, I was.
DIRECTOR :
- Was there any suspicious correspondence there?
PHYSICS TEACHER:
-
There was nothing suspicious, just twelve envelopes with white powder.
DIRECTOR :
- So much?
PHYSICS TEACHER:
-
So today is a test in physics.
DIRECTOR :
- Strange, there were only nine before the chemistry test.
PHYSICS TEACHER:
-
What to do with the powder?
DIRECTOR :
- Give it to the trade union committee, let them distribute it to teachers with many children: they have enough of it for almost thirty washes. So, we're done with the powder. Have they already called about the bomb?
CHEMISTRY TEACHER:
-
Not yet, we'll wait any minute.
The phone rings. The duty officer runs in with the phone.
DUTY :
-
They just reported that there was a bomb in the staff room!
DIRECTOR :
- Quiet!
Everyone freezes, and the ticking of a clockwork becomes audible. A bomb is found in a cake box and carefully placed on a table (chair).
TEACHERS (asking each other):
-
Does anyone know how to call 911?
-
We need to call the sappers!
-
We won't make it in time, only thirty seconds left!
-
We'll have to cancel the test!..
FIZRUK (whistles a whistle):
- Calm down, don't panic! Give me the pliers! (opens the box) There are four wires: red, yellow, green and blue. One of them needs a snack. But which one?
LITERATURE TEACHER:
-
Green!
The physical education teacher bites the green wire. The ticking of the clock stops. Everyone exhales together and takes validol.
Fizruk:
- How did you guess that it was green?
DIRECTORY TEACHER:
-
This color suits me so much...
DIRECTOR :
- So, the worst is over, and the test will take place. There is little time until the end of the break. Are there any other substantive questions?
ALL (in unison):
-
Did they deliver validol?
DIRECTOR :
- There are forty-two kilograms of Validol left, which should be enough until the end of the week, and then RONO will supply more.
They all breathe a sigh of relief again and take validol.
DIRECTOR:
- By the way, has everyone heard that the government adopted a law on self-defense?
Everyone takes out and begins to blow out and wipe with handkerchiefs slingshots, water pistols and spitting tubes.
DIRECTOR :
- There is one minute left until the bell rings. Everyone get ready! Be equal! Attention! Aiming for high performance! For public education... for a feat of labor... step... march!
Everyone marches and sings:
From a young age everyone knows:
Life is boring without problems.
Eight years like in our school
Every day -
then KVN.
And the battle continues again!
And my heart feels anxious in my chest.
Take validol with you,
After all, the fifth lesson is ahead!
The bell rings. Marching, the teachers leave the stage.
Teacher's Day
1 Vedas. Hello!!!
2 Vedas
. - Today is an unusual day!
3 Vedas
- Today is an amazing day! Today...
All: Holiday!!!
1 Vedas . Glad! and Long-awaited!
2 Vedas Today is the holiday of those who proudly bear the title of teacher, master, educator!
3 Vedas
Thank you, dear teachers, for being you, for being who you are, and we love you all very much!
ALL: Happy holiday!
1st presenter:
October, as before, is painted with gold
The edges of heaven, forests and fields
To us again through all everyday worries
A bright holiday is coming - Teachers' Day!
2nd presenter:
For mentors - poems and songs;
The sparkle of inspired lines,
The wisest of all professions,
With the proud title Teacher!
3 Ved.
Strict and affectionate,
Wise and sensitive,
For those who have gray hair at the temples,
For those who have recently left the walls of the institute,
To those who told us secrets of discovery,
Teaches you to achieve victories in work -
To everyone whose proud name is “teacher”,
We dedicate the concert.
Song "Happy Teacher's Day"
1 Vedas Every person chooses a profession not with his mind, but with his heart. Whether this is true or not in our school, we suggest checking it out!
2 Vedas We invite you to answer 9 questions and find out whether you are a real teacher or not! Your answer to the question will be your applause!
3 ved . So, let's get started. You carry everything from home that may be useful to you at your workplace.
1 led. You bring into the house a lot of useless things from the point of view normal people, your family and friends, who are watching with fear as the mountain of waste paper inevitably grows in your apartment.
2 ved. Your family has been sacrificed for education; they also work with you, although they are not on the staff. They work, quietly feeling sorry for you. Your child's fate is to wait. At the office, the teacher's room, at home, wait patiently and silently.
3 ved . People who are far from educated do not understand when you talk about your 30 children and 45 parents.
1 ved . There is always more money in your purse than your own (for an excursion, for curtains, posters, etc., etc.).
2 ved . Half the neighborhood greets you and the same half evaluates how you are, where you are and who are you with?
3 ved . You know how to paint, glue, hammer nails, repair furniture, work until the morning, persuade, forgive, go to work sick and put yourself in someone’s position.
1 ved . You don’t know how to: rest wisely, say “no” to the administration, walk past book counters.
3 ved. You just can’t decide whether to accept congratulations or condolences from September 1st.
1. Ved We thought that our school employs real teachers, masters of their craft!
2 Vedas
Teachers! They are like a light on the way
What a huge heart you need
Have it in your chest to bring light to people
So that his trace cannot be erased forever!
A group of students (6 students) runs onto the stage. They line up and, one by one, begin to speak with inspiration and elation:
1.- Our dears!
2.- Favorite!
3. - Dear!
4.- Revered!
5. - Adored!
Enthusiastic (continues). Beloved, unforgettable, wrapped up, muzzled, bungled...
1. (interrupts, covering the Enthusiastic’s mouth with his hand). What are you talking about? (Strokes him on the head and explains to the audience.) I was completely stunned, poor thing. He started talking.
The group of students continues:
Our dear teachers!
We love you!
We respect you!
We honor!
We love it!
Enthusiastic (continues with inspiration). We bow, admire, admire, wonder...
1. (interrupting). Maybe stop fawning?
Enthusiastic (persistently And stubbornly). No way!
Group of students (continue one by one):
Yes! We understand how difficult it is for you!
With us, the unlucky ones!
Unassembled!
Impolite!
Inattentive!
Enthusiastic (interrupts and continues alone).
Lazy, loud, talkative, rabid...
1. (indignantly). Well, I'm tired of it! (Clamps the mouth of the Enthusiastic.
1st reader: To those who introduced us to first grade,
2nd reader: Who does everything for us,
3rd reader: To those who gives knowledge,
4th reader: Who's taking us to the theater?
5th reader: To those who give us grades,
6th reader: Who will not leave us in trouble,
To those who don't let you be lazy,
Who will teach us to work,
Who brings light to people
All in chorus: Hello student!
(A fairy-tale melody sounds, the curtain slowly opens, two buffoons appear, the projector shows an image of a fairy-tale palace, they sing to the music from the film “Ivan Vasilyevich Changes His Profession”)
Buffoon 1. The fairy tale suddenly knocked on the door in silence.
Buffoon 2. The holiday has come to school, I believe it and I don’t believe it.
Buffoon 1. A leaf fell, dawn floated, autumn came.
Buffoon 2. How many days and nights were you carried?
Buffoons(together).
Suddenly, as in a fairy tale, the door creaked.
Everything became clear to me now.
How many years have I been arguing with fate?
For the sake of this meeting with you.
(The phonogram of their film “Plasticine Crow” plays, they continue to sing. Video “School 1970”)
Buffoon 1. One simple fairy tale
Buffoon 2. Or maybe not a fairy tale,
Buffoon 1. Or maybe we want to tell you a story.
Buffoon 2. In one wonderful school,
Buffoon 1. Or maybe not at school,
Buffoon 2. Or maybe still at school?
Buffoons (together). What's in Saving?
Buffoon 1. We gathered for the holiday,
Buffoon 2. Or maybe for a matinee,
Buffoons(together).
To congratulate everyone on the holiday,
All, all teachers!!!
(The Storyteller appears in the tower window.)
Storyteller. Believe it or not, but live in this world Galina-Krasa, director of the palace school. And beautiful maidens live in her kingdom, like swans, albeit a little, and how smart they are, it’s impossible to describe in a fairy tale.
(the tortured swan teachers come out “Hymn to the Teacher” to the tune “I love you life.”)
Now that the day is over, you are walking out of school tiredly.
There is so much to do ahead, even a day is not enough for this.
Every hour, every moment there are continuous worries in front of you.
You are a teacher and you knew that this work was not easy.
How many of them, mischievous, naughty, stubborn, cheerful
I met in class, realizing that life is a school...
Sparing no effort, sometimes waiting for change,
I walked along the same road that always led to school.
There are many roads in the world, but your choice was not accidental.
Feeling kindness and arriving at my native threshold,
You will understand that our school will always be with you.
Every life lesson is learned here, becoming your destiny.
Storyteller. There is a rumor about this kingdom that this is the most wonderful kingdom in the Makeevsky state. And they had a holiday, and guests came from all the volosts.
Queen.
The English ambassador arrived for our morning pickle,
And in our house we have snacks - half a slice and mosol.
(Calls Ivan)
Get ready Vanka for the journey and get us some for the holiday
And artists, and gypsies, oh! Get someone!
If you fail, who is to blame, I will order your execution!
State business - you catch the thread!
Vanka .
There’s something I don’t understand, given my mind
I’m sipping my tea without bast soup, trying to figure out what’s what.
It turns out that all the politics in the country are on me
To make sure everyone is happy, I will provide for the guests!
Storyteller. The queen's word is harder than crackers. And our Vanya wandered off to look for happiness and plunder grief. But where to go - we need Vanya. Necessary. Ivan walked around the entire southern district, tired, no urine, and it was already nightfall. Lie down.
(Under the tree.)
And he has a dream...
1 presenter:(catching up) Shh...Quiet! There's a teachers' council there!!!
Scene "Teachers' Council". Teacher's room. Teachers are sitting, checking notebooks, someone has taken out a cosmetic bag and is fixing their makeup, someone is leafing through a fashion magazine, etc.
Head teacher: Well, dear colleagues, let’s discuss our, so to speak, problems
1 teacher (standing in a shockproof helmet):
I love children, friends, always,
But knowing their jokes,
I get defensive sometimes
And I cover my head.
After all, they will come in handy more than once
Teachers are brains,
And so I enter my class
I, in spite of fear!
2nd teacher (standing, hugging a gas mask):
This is my gas mask,
Only with him can I go to class!
I have been teaching chemistry for a hundred years,
But still - there is no peace!
They'll blow it up here, they'll blow it up there,
And not five minutes will pass!
I'm sitting in a gas mask,
And I lead the children in it!
3 teacher (holding a bag of sweets):
Rastil A image of a good man.
After all, I know yualways for sure
That kids love chocolate
And I’m the guys’ favorite
Not only do I feed with knowledge,
After all, I love children from the bottom of my heart.
To the one who has learned his lesson,
I always put candy in my mouth!
4 teacher (holding a soccer ball):
In physical education, without difficulty,
There will be order forever!
Fell, did a hundred push-ups,
Then crawl to your dusty classroom!
5 teacher (holding a class magazine):
And my answer is simple,
The school director is in front of you!
And if I just want,
I will immediately expel you from school,
The kids read together
All the books assigned at school!
Here are my head teachers standing
They can give you advice...
Head teacher: If you have just recently
They gave me a class where there is no order,
Don't despair too much!
After all, they pay for this too!
Even if it’s small, it’s stable!
2nd:
Enter class with confidence
And then hit it hard
On the table so that it shakes!
And start calmly
With a mournful voice
Talk about something important
For example, about behavior.
1st:
Well, what if this is it
It doesn't reach the kids
Then think about it in a moment,
Who is the “boss” here?
Tell him: “Shouldn’t you and I go out?
For a heartfelt conversation
In this quiet corridor?
2nd:
If subtle hints
Have no results
In order to promote
Educational process
Call dad to school
With or without mom,
Ask about health
About success at work,
Praise, ask
Influence the evil child.
You can do it right this very hour!
1st:
And when a happy boy
Forgetting about all the fun,
Rubbing my buttock
Yours will leave the office,
Don't worry, calm down:
The class will immediately begin
Peace, quiet and grace!
2:
And now there is a little left:
Remember and understand the code.
And in my work at school
Never use!
Director: Teachers, now is in store for you
Take an oath and fulfill my commandments
Music teacher- I swear by the piano
And "Moonlight Sonata"!
Labor teacher- I swear on a chisel
And a shovel!
Biology teacher- I swear by the roots
And a microscope!
Physics teacher- I swear by the dynamometer
And a strobe light!
Physical education teacher- I swear by the crossbar
And a horse!
Teacher
foreign language - I swear by my fattest
dictionary!
Geometry teacher- I swear by the protractor
And a theorem!
Algebra teacher- I swear on the coordinates
And the system!
Russian language teacher– I swear by morphology
And punctuation!
Chemistry teacher- I swear by oxidation and stormy
Reaction!
History teacher- I swear by the history of the ancient
Peace!
Drawing teacher- I swear by the preparation, the stroke
And on the dotted line!
Literature teacher- I swear by the verse and the novel,
And a fairy tale!
Geography teacher- I swear on the globe
And a pointer!
“Listen to the director, he knows better how many bad marks to give and to whom,”
“Before you give a bad mark, think about who will correct it,”
“Respect the head teacher: otherwise he will make so many “windows” that you won’t see the light,”
“Be less upset, rebuild more”
“Don’t blame the director for all the sins; there is also the Education Department,”
“Don’t envy young teachers: they are so far from retirement.”
Student to teachers: We swear, we swear, we swear
Laughed!? And now on to the lessons! And work, work...
Storyteller: Ivan turned over on the other side and heard... The dove sings...
Song
(Ivan wakes up.)
Ivan.
Either the devil is zealous now, or the air is drunk now,
Maybe there's something wrong with my ear,
Was such a law announced from the royal windows,
So that birds speak human language.
Blueberry.
Don’t commit robbery, Ivan, but take me with you.
When you take me into your little room, I will become your destiny.
I will sing, dance, play and shine at the festival
And you can play the violin and entertain everyone.
Vanka.
What kind of parable is that - I don’t understand, okay - get into my bag.
We'll figure out who's going where and what's what on the spot.
(They walk through the forest to the music.)
I walked all day, but good luck at least a shadow
There are no artists in the area, everything is pure rubbish.
Blueberry.
Don't freak out and don't whine, there will be a holiday, there will be a feast.
Come on, stand before me, Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!
(They jump out of the chest.)
T.K. Why are we not buffoons, we can do everything: dance and sing
F.F. And we will show all the successes that cannot be seen in a dream
T.K. Don't judge us harshly, Vanya, we're trying our best.
F.F. What should you show teachers this holiday?
Together. Songs and dances are a miracle, it’s easy here.
dance
Storyteller: Ivan put the dove and the buffoons in a bag and went on. He walked, he walked - he was tired. He sees that the hut is standing. I looked out the window, and there...
Scene "Desdemona".
There is a table on the stage, a chair next to it. Othello nervously paces around the stage. Desdemona is approaching.
Othello:
I hear steps. Finally home
My wife will cook me lunch.
I'm fucking hungry, Desdemona!
Desdemona:
Othello, I don't have lunch.
Othello:
I really have no time for jokes, my dear.
Our refrigerator has been empty for a long time!
I'm just dying of hunger...
Desdemona:
But I was working, not at the cinema!
Othello:
What's in your bag? (takes a bag, takes out notebooks)
Notebooks again
Did you bring it home?
Woe is me!
Desdemona:
I see that your nerves are not all right,
You even screamed more than once in your sleep! (Sits down to check notebooks)
Othello:
Listen, Desdemona, really
It would be nice to have a snack now!
Desdemona:
Othello! We've already eaten today.
And it’s even harmful to eat at such a late hour!
Othello:
Listen, I have a job too,
But I can’t think of anything because I’m hungry!
Desdemona:
Oh, honey, come up with something, really.
Read the newspaper! And hunger will disappear.
Othello:
My hunger will not be satisfied. Really
Is it so difficult for you to go to the store?
Desdemona:
I thought I'd come by at the end of the week.
But you could buy something yourself!
You're disturbing me, honey. By the way,
So little time left, dear!
I will be on duty at school until nightfall:
My class is walking at the disco.
Othello:
What disco?! What kind of joke?!
Our family is about to be destroyed!
Desdemona:
Oh, you know, you can’t be a slave to your stomach.
I ran, my class was waiting for me.
Othello:
You run away from home like hell.
Work is more important to you, not family.
Have you prayed at night, Desdemona?
Die, unfortunate one, die, my love!
Desdemona:
No, honey, I'll run to work,
You go to the store and buy this, that, that...
I'll come back in the evening and we'll eat together!
Storyteller: Vanya has seen enough, heard enough... And I got hungry. I looked to the left - nothing, looked to the right - there was a store of amazing things, Vanya stood in line.
The curtain opens. On the stage there are tables with objects laid out on them - experimental goods. There are two sellers at the tables with goods - active, cheerful, very kind.
1st seller (joyfully). And here is the first visitor! Come in please!
teacher (timid, nervous, unsure, glasses on the tip of her nose, which she adjusts all the time; she shudders at everything, constantly turns around in fear, fiddles with something in her hands, speaks quietly and politely) . Hello. Excuse me, did I get to the store?
2nd seller (helpful). Glad to serve! What do you want?
Teacher. I would like some... help...
1st seller (broad gesture towards the items). Please! Widest choice.
Teacher (joyfully grabs the first thing that catches her eye - a broom). Could this be it?
2nd seller (trying to take away the broom, they are fighting). Give it back! (dismissively). This is an outdated model...
Teacher (pleadingly). What do you recommend? After all, there was no sweet spot with the guys.
1st seller (energetically). Here! Especially for you: neat tweezers (shows) to pluck out loose tongues.
The teacher recoils.
2nd seller. And here is the kit (shows): hammer and nails for crucifixion on the most obnoxious desks...
Teacher (rolls her eyes, screams). No! No!
1st seller (to another). Look, I think she's too impressionable.
2nd seller. There's no point in doing this at school...
Teacher (pleadingly). Please... watch... something else
1st seller. Well, then - this is it: absolutely harmless and very effective!(puts out toilet paper rolls) Give a gift to a colleague - an English teacher.
Teacher (suspiciously). Toilet paper? Excuse me, how is this?
2nd seller. It’s very simple: send the student with this roll to the toilet and let him sit there until he uses it all, studying English language. You see, here the alphabet comes first, then the words(unwinding the paper) then verb tenses.
Teacher. Great idea! Is there such a guide for any other subjects?
1st seller. F formulas in mathematics, dates in history, complex topics in the Russian language... That's all for now, but we continue to work in this direction.
Teacher (joyfully). I take it, I take it, I take it! Oh! (stops) But if everyone sits in the toilet, who will we work with?Can I watch something else?
2nd salesman (helpful) . Please, please!
1st seller. Here it is, just for you(starts to take it out from under the counter). "Straitjacket"! gags of various modifications, for example, a dummy gag. “Laxative water”, “Healing noose”...
The teacher can no longer speak, she only hums and shakes her head negatively.
2nd seller. Well then we don't know. You won’t please... Maybe a set “to help a beginning teacher”?
Teacher ( With hope). What's in this set?
1st seller (inspired). A gun for shooting the most impudent, a grenade for neutralizing the most obnoxious, a gas canister for self-defense, a fishing rod for catching...
(with these words Vanya runs out of the store)
Dance about the martyr teacher
Storyteller: Vanka got scared, ran away as far as his eyes could see and found himself in an unknown clearing. Sees an unknown vessel. Looking around, he approached the vessel with caution and took it in his hands.
A loud sound like an explosion, a genie appears.
Gin:
What kind of life is this! I just wanted to go online and send a letter to brother Hottabych, but again someone has problems...What do you want, my dear?
Vanya:
Nevermind!!! Stunning...Gin! Real…
Gin:
Well, what kind of people are they?! They can’t believe their eyes... The real me, the REAL ME!!! Come on, make a wish!
Vanya:
And what can I do, exactly what I want?
Gin:
Well, right! Got up to speed...As expected - three wishes and no more!
Vanya :
So, why come up with something like that...Oh! Well, I am a genius! I always dreamed of changing my math teacher's hairstyle!...ha ha ha! Exactly my first wish - I WANT Mary Ivanovna to become bald right now! What a joke!
Gin:
Please! (snaps fingers)
Behind the scenes, the heart-rending scream of a frightened teacher is heard.
Vanya:
Wow! Judging by the scream - it works!!! So, why come up with something so big! So that all teachers get...Oh! My second wish is:
WANT -
So that suddenly teachers become, like, well, like me!
They expressed themselves just as coolly,
had fun and laughed
they forgot to speak competently
and they taught us slang!”
Gin:
“Be as it will be, as you wish,
Since you're dreaming about it -
Tomorrow all teachers
They will surprise you!”
Jin and the student leave the stage.
Voice behind the scenes:"Tomorrow has arrived."
To the stage under " "Vchitelka-microdistrict of our resident" teachers come out. To maintain intrigue, teachers may not turn their backs for a while, since they have signs attached to their backs - “chemistry teacher”, “physical teacher”, etc. Teachers smoke and laugh loudly. The bell rings. They shout “OH, WE'RE LATE!” and run backstage.
Voice behind the scenes:"Chemistry Lesson"
Appears on stage chemistry teacher, who starts teaching the lesson:
“Hey, darova!”
The topic of our lesson is...
"Theme!" - hey, that doesn’t sound bad...
In general, we took those flasks
And that powder over there,
Right now we'll arrange it for the school
A nice little shock.
Pour, add
And let's shake it up a little...
The light goes out and there is an explosion.
The light comes on, the teacher is covered in soot, his hair stands on end.
Damn, it didn't work out again
We'll start all over again tomorrow! (runs off stage)
G voice behind the scenes: “Physical education lesson.” Jumps onto the stage on a skipping rope physical education teacher:
“Get up! Shorts pulled up!
Let's wake up already!
And... to the left, not... to the right
Ivanov's journal for me.
Leafing through the magazine: “Stones,
Scissors, paper, one, two, three...
Ivanov, high five for you!
Just kidding, only three!
What did you say? Fell, did push-ups!
So, Kobylina comes to me.
Where did we go for a walk last time?
You see, there’s “ne” in the magazine.
I'm not in the mood for jokes today
I'm not myself today
In general, everyone changed their clothes
And let’s go home already!” (looks at his watch, leaves the stage)
Enters the stage literature teacher:
“No, well, what’s wrong?!”
Why are we all sitting?
Let's open your books
Let's hang out a little now!
So, Yesenin, Blok, Turgenev
Mayakovsky and Tolstoy.
What should I read today?
The choice is so great.
What did you say to Pyatrenko?
Classics for trash, right?
Came out, followed by Karpenko
What kind of wild gang?!
I remember a wonderful moment
I remember this one, I don’t remember this one.
While you're reading The Thunderstorm,
And I went to the teachers' meeting. (adjusts glasses, combs hair and leaves stage)
Director:
"Well? What the hell are the problems?
Who's got who already?
Let's discuss this topic
And - home, I'm so tired!
I'm on the Internet today
I found classmates
Mail, dog, dot Petya
I plunged headlong into it.
This is what my colleagues will say:
Tomorrow will be a day off.
No, why wait so long?
Tomorrow is graduation!
All teachers in chorus:
“Yo, that’s cool, we’re happy!”
They dance and have fun. They go backstage dancing. Jin and the student come out.
Gin:
“Well, are you happy?
All right? What more do you want?
You have the right to make a wish,
Another wish, you know?”
Vanya:
“I thought, what a mess!
Well, what have I done?
What a stupid fool I am
It was weird.
Teacher is not fun
The teacher is not a laughing matter,
Listen Genie, I want it again
Get your desire back.
I want to go to college
And who?
How can the teacher not help me?!
Who will teach us high things,
Striving to become smarter, isn't it cooler?!
Bring them back to their senses, I beg you.
I value them very much!”
Gin:
“Well, what’s good?
Do you want anything else?
Vanya:
"I want to congratulate them
Happy such a wonderful holiday,
May they forgive me
A naughty student!
May their dreams come true
One dream - cherished,
Give them what they want
Something specific!”
Sounds song "Million US Dollars"
" Teachers come onto the stage, lining up in one line. The genie gives them bags of money (“RUBLES”, “EUROS”, etc.) Everyone laughs. After a while, the teachers put down their bags and come to the edge of the stage,Vanya
says the final words:
Well, but seriously...
You can get pennies
Giving your heart to us
Just to hear from the heart:
“Thank you teachers!”
Song of the kids
Storyteller.
Spun around, caught in the autumn leaves
Our Vanka was hit by large hail a long time ago... (Pause)
The guy sees that it’s not a dream - it’s reality before his eyes
There are so many people in front of him beyond words!!!
(Appears gypsy camp with a song to the tune of “A in the restaurant.”)
We'll put things aside
And let's go all out with you
About your favorite teachers
We'll have a good talk
Let them have been teaching for a long time
We know that they love us all
Let many years pass anyway
Of course, we won't forget about you
Chorus.
And in our school, and in our school
There are a lot of different subjects
And choose whatever your soul wants
And somewhere here heaven begins.
(They dance a gypsy dance.)
We say thank you to you all
Thank you for being with us
After all, without you it would be much sadder
After all, only orators can speak like you
After all, only fashion models on the catwalk can look the way you do.
After all, only your closest and beloved people can sympathize and understand as you do.
Together: THANK YOU!
Vanya.
Oh yeah meeting, so I managed to get you all
That, FAQ in this world cannot exist at all.
Why do you spend your life in vain when you're sad and mopey?
Maybe you can dance and sing for the queen without arguing?
(Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich run in, interrupting each other...)
T.K. I never oppose useful prospects.
F.F. I'm ready for bees to join the hive, just to join the team
T.K. Give an order and even where, even for ore mining
F.F. I will work hard for nothing without drinking and without water.
T.K. I am good for any business, I can enter any doors.
F.F. I’ll get you whatever you want, even a savvy louse.
Vanya.
We have to be on our way by five o'clock every day.
Because they are already waiting for us in that kingdom.
(The queen appears with her retinue.)
Storyteller. And the queen and her retinue meet Vanya and her guests
1st student:
Dear teachers!
Our entire army of students
I could tell you so many words
About the fact that we love you, although sometimes
You are leaving us with a headache.
2nd student:
Let the memory leave only good things,
Let it cause less trouble
That difficult but beloved student,
Who is not used to studying like this.
3rd student:
There will be fewer mistakes in the notebooks,
Wrinkles will only come from smiling,
May luck smile on you,
And let the teacher never cry!
4 student:
Whatever path you are on,
Everywhere above us and always
Alone, but shine brightest of all,
Shine, Teacher's star!
5th student:
A teacher's heart...
Well, what can you compare it to?
With the cosmic galaxy,
Which has no boundaries?
6 student:
Or maybe with the bright sun,
What gives people light?
With the depths of the sea,
What lies dormant for hundreds of years?
7th student:
No, we won't compare!
And we will say: “Knock,
Teacher's heart
Hope, Believe, Love!”
8th student:
The teacher's reward is
The light of children's enthusiastic eyes,
Ability to think and listen
Nurtured in each of us!
9th student:
Now, perhaps, we will answer,
What does the word “Teacher” mean?
This is Fate and Calling,
Creativity, faith, luck!
Song completion (boys give flowers to teachers)
Teacher's Day, celebrated on October 5, 2019, is a great occasion to please your teachers. According to established tradition, for this holiday, students prepare concerts on their own, at which they perform poems and songs in honor of teachers, stage dance numbers, and fragments of performances.
The audience especially likes the funny miniatures for Teacher's Day performed by high school students. Such miniatures can be based on fairy tales, feature films or issues of the magazine "Yeralash".
Funny skits for Teacher's Day for high school students
In this case, you can use the real names of teachers, wear wigs and apply appropriate makeup to look like a particular teacher. Such a performance will cause a lot of excitement in the audience. positive emotions and will not be forgotten either by the teachers or the children themselves!
***
This short play for Teacher's Day features two students portraying teachers. One of them says to the other:
– No, it has become completely impossible to work these days.
Another continues:
– The teacher is afraid of the director, the director is afraid of the inspector, the inspector is afraid of the inspector from the ministry, the minister is afraid of the parents, the parents are afraid of the children.
The first teacher continues:
- And only children are not afraid of anyone...
***
The son says to his mother:
- Mom, I won’t go to school anymore.
- Why is this?
- Fuck this school! Again Petrov will hit the guys on the head with a textbook, Vasiliev will start aiming with a slingshot, and Sidorov will trip them up.
“Well, son, you have to go to school,” says the mother. – Firstly, you are already an adult, you have turned forty years old, and secondly, you are a school director.
***
The old teacher died and went to hell. The Chief Inspector of Hell comes to him and says:
- Sorry, please, there was an error. We have analyzed everything thoroughly and realized that you are supposed to be in heaven.
“But everything suits me here too,” the teacher answers.
– Why is this still the case?
– After school, hell seems like heaven to me.
Another miniature for Teacher's Day for high school students involves several teachers and the head teacher.
Head teacher:
– Dear colleagues! I have gathered you here to tell you the most unpleasant news: very soon our high school students will have to leave the walls of the school. What can we give them for graduation?
Chemistry teacher:
- I will give them a crystal flask with water from school source knowledge!
The head teacher examines the water in the flask:
– It’s too cloudy for some reason!
Chemistry teacher:
- Well, such knowledge, such water!
Physics teacher:
– And I bought Dirol with xylitol. After all, the guys have been gnawing on the granite of science, so now they will have to restore their teeth.
Head teacher:
“I don’t think this will help, and after your lessons they will need the help of a dentist.”
Class teacher:
– As for me, I bought handkerchiefs so that the children would wipe away their tears, remembering their bygone childhood.
Head teacher:
– Perhaps this gift will be more useful to you and me. I can imagine how much we will cry when we receive letters from our graduates with errors.
Teacher of Russian language and literature:
– It’s okay, I’ll give the guys dictionaries so that it’s easier for them to remember the rules of the Russian language!
Another fun skit on Teacher's Day, staged by high school students, is performed by teachers and students, who perform a song based on the song from the movie “An Ordinary Miracle” (music by G. Gladkov).
Student:
- Oh, madam, tell me why
Do I have two points in my diary?
Teacher:
– I’ll tell you, frankly: I give two marks for a reason.
And of course, this is not my fault.
Student:
- Oh, madam, you really hurried
I got a C for the test!
Another teacher:
-Are you joking?
I have to object to you -
We need to teach the rules, my dear.
Student:
- Ah, madam, but a difficult task
Even a professor cannot decide.
Third teacher:
– It’s just a shame and disgrace!
I don't believe you at all.
No, you failed to convince me!
(Everyone bows and leaves.)
The following short productions for Teacher's Day, performed by high school students, take place in the classroom.
***
During a literature lesson, the teacher asks:
- Well, guys, have you read the novel “War and Peace”?
Nobody answers. Then one student jumps up and shouts:
– Did you have to read it?!
Teacher:
- Certainly!
- And I rewrote it!!!
***
Teacher:
– Why is European time ahead of American time?
Petrov holds out his hand.
– Because America was discovered later!
***
Episode from a chemistry lesson.
Teacher:
– Svetlana, what color did you get the solution?
Sveta gets up from her seat.
- Red.
- Well done, sit down, high five.
- Katya, what about you?
- Orange.
– Not entirely correct, but also good. "Four".
- Vovochka, what kind of solution did you make?
- Black.
- Vovochka, “two”, sit down! Class, lie down!
***
During a math lesson, the teacher says:
- And now I will prove to you the Pythagorean theorem.
Petya from the back desk:
- Is it worth it, Ivan Ivanovich? We already believe you!
***
There is a math exam in progress. The teacher carefully monitors the students and from time to time kicks out of the class those who have cheat sheets. The head teacher looks into the office:
– How is the exam going? I think there are a lot of cheaters here!
Teacher:
- No, the lovers have already gone home. Only professionals remain here.
Another skit that high school students can play on Teacher’s Day takes place in a literature lesson.
Teacher:
– The topic of our lesson is Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky’s novel “Crime and Punishment”! Vorobyov!
Vorobyov reluctantly gets up from his desk:
– Olga Vladimirovna, I didn’t read it.
Teacher:
- What did you do?
Vorobyov (hesitates):
– I... watched “Spider-Man”...
There is laughter in the class.
Teacher:
– Maybe Shcheglov will tell us about the image of Raskolnikov?
Shcheglov also reluctantly gets up from his desk:
- I too... watched about the Spider...
Teacher:
– And what attracts you to “Spider-Man”?
Vorobyov:
- Well... they shoot at him there.
Shcheglov:
-...And then bam - and he defeated everyone!
Teacher:
- “They’re shooting! I won! Did you know that the image of Spider-Man occupies a special place in American cinema? Critics define his character as “decisive, integral, strong”! He climbs onto skyscrapers and, towering above the bustle of the metropolis, asks himself the question: “Am I a trembling creature or a person capable of loving people and forgiving them?”
The children listen with their mouths open.
Teacher (sighing):
– Write down the topic of the next essay: “Pokemonism, or who can live well in Japan”!
The following miniature, which can be shown on Teacher's Day, takes place in a history lesson, with the participation of schoolchildren, the teacher and the director.
Teacher:
- We repeat our homework. Sidorov, please come to the board!
Sidorov:
- Why should I just... (reluctantly leaves).
Teacher:
- Tell me, dear, who took Ishmael?
Sidorov:
- Mary Ivanovna, I didn’t take anything, I didn’t take my word of honor, it’s all Petrov.
Petrov:
- What an Ishmael, I didn’t see anything, it’s not me!
Teacher:
– My patience has run out! I'm calling the director.
He leaves and returns with the director.
Teacher:
- Look, Ivan Ivanovich... We haven’t been able to find out who took Ishmael for the third lesson.
Director:
- What, is this 10-a? No, my dear, don’t even hope, they won’t return them!
