Keep your promise to yourself. Because I deserve it
When we promise something to others, we certainly try to preserve our reputation and fulfill our promise. This is how to win an argument - a matter of honor!
But we often act completely differently with ourselves. Why does such self-dislike happen? And why is it so important to keep your promises to yourself? Properly formulated promises to yourself are the best tool for achieving important goals. The words “goal” and “promise” are almost identical. But the “promise” appeals to our conscience, appeals to our sense of self-respect. That's why it's so important to promise yourself something when other methods are less effective.
How to make promises to yourself?
Make promises to yourself, only by clearly articulating end result. For example, if you want to reset several extra pounds, tell yourself: “I promise that tomorrow I won’t eat sweets all day.” This form of posing a thesis statement will not allow you to shirk the promised actions, because deceiving yourself is very unpleasant.
If you replace promises to yourself in a simple word“must”, then they will never take shape in the final result, but will become just another demands on oneself, causing discomfort and therefore directed into emptiness.
In order for the promises made to yourself to have the maximum effect, it is necessary to take into account such nuances as:
Realism. Imagine that a person made a promise to himself to run 10 km every morning. But his body does not have the proper level of endurance. Will he be able to achieve such a goal?
Feasibility. Promises made to yourself must be achievable. You shouldn’t throw around idle vows even in front of yourself, much less in front of others.
Necessity. If a person has made a promise to himself that is dictated to him by stereotypes, false goals, or solely by the interests of others, then fulfilling the vow will not bring him any joy.
A good promise to yourself is like a contract with yourself. If we fail to fulfill the terms of the contract, we begin to consider ourselves dishonest people. And no one wants to experience such emotions, so it is more pleasant to fulfill a contract with yourself than to refuse it.
What does the promise technique bring to people’s lives?
A clear promise to ourselves helps, organizes our lives, and helps us achieve great results. With the help of such a commitment, you can increase your own income, solve problems with communication or health. You just need to set the right goals.
But how can you determine whether the goal is set correctly? It is enough to start from the very word “correct”. Is it right to wake up in the morning with a terrible hangover, or should you call a taxi and leave the party early? Is it right to take care only of yourself or is it necessary to remember about your loved ones? The word “right” contains an important meaning that helps us set the right goals and avoid false and momentary desires. Of course, go only with what is right for you. Then your resources will be directed to the most significant things. All this works when a person makes an irrevocable decision to act.
If you make promises to yourself and keep them, it means:
You treat yourself as the best project in your life;
You use your energy wisely and rationally;
You live only according to your own scenario, you are the creator of your own universe:
You know what you want from life and you get it;
You take care of yourself by not allowing harmful desires to break you;
You love yourself and love the people around you;
You are fulfilled and have much to offer the world.
Contract with yourself - best way check how you feel about yourself. When a person knows how to keep his word to himself, he will become attractive to other people, because there is no trick or deception in him. The promises you make to yourself will help you realize, put into words and gain motivation to fulfill your desires and. They will help you do those things that you haven’t gotten around to, change your life in the direction you always wanted, but somehow there was no time for it, they will structure your life and give impetus for achievements.
They've been waiting for the promised thing for three years.
Proverb
Irresponsible promise-making as a personality trait is the tendency to make promises without intending to fulfill them in advance.
You promised to marry me. Stupid, you never know what I promised YOU.
But he promised to care for, love, cherish... - she muttered, burying the corpse.
Wife to husband: - Promise me that you won’t drink again! “I promise you won’t drink again!”
Obeshchalkin makes promises only to break them. He knows that fools and gullibles believe promises. He sees this as the path to success. Napoleon also said: “If you want to succeed in this world, then promise everything and deliver nothing.”
The promise spreader feeds others with words instead of bread. The irresponsible scattering of promises reveals deceit and self-interest, dishonesty and lack of obligation. Non-obligation as a personality quality is a tendency to let others down on far-fetched pretexts, failing to fulfill promises, agreements, not keeping one’s word, given to people; take on obligations and either fail to fulfill them or fail to do them on time.
A bad, vicious man is revealed in the irresponsible scattering of promises. It is naive to burden a woman with promises. Pierre Marc Gaston de Lévy-Lerant writes: “All a woman can promise without prevarication is that she will not look for an opportunity.”
All people are naive to some extent. A man, if he believes women's promises, is the embodiment of naivety. Only a naive person can be offended and angry at a woman who has not kept her promises. A man whines in his mouth: - “You promised” - shows not only naivety, but also stupidity, even more - mental pathology. The only thing a woman can promise and be responsible for her promise is to be faithful to her husband. All.
The woman who promised not to eat after six took the cutlet and drank it!
Woman: - I think I'm becoming a cockroach. - ??? - I made a promise to my relatives to lose weight. And now I only eat in the kitchen at night, when everyone is asleep. And when the lights are turned on, I start to hide in panic...
By the way, all spiritual traditions, recognizing a woman’s right to change, say that a woman should keep only one promise - to be faithful. She can promise the rest as much as she likes and fail to deliver just as many times. This status of women is prescribed by centuries-old wisdom: “A woman can promise whatever you want, this headache men that he believed in women's promises » .
Women themselves do not believe their promises, and at the same time they are most likely to get caught and carried away by the promises of men. As Boris Crutcher says: “ Honest man will never promise one lady what he did not promise to another.”
Two girls meet: - How are you? - Great! You know, my lover promised to buy me mink coat... - Amazing! - ...and he also promised to buy me a Bentley... - Amazing! - ...and we’ll also go on vacation to the Maldives! - Amazing! - What's new with you? - I... I study at the school of good manners. - Oh, how interesting. And what do they teach there? - Well, for example, in the last lesson we were taught instead of “Don’t lie!” say “Amazing.”
Let's listen to the dialogue of smart men: - Where is Elizabeth? - In a safe place, as I promised. She is going to marry Norrington as she promised. You will die for her, as you promised. We men keep our word... But Elizabeth, as a woman, has no need for this.
For example, a wife, seeing that her husband is angry, sincerely says: “Sorry! I promise I won’t do that again!” The husband thinks that she is taking it upon herself not to do this again and is mistaken. His wife apologizes to him for his state of anger. It hurts and scares her to watch how she close person is in a state of temporary madness. This is what she apologizes for. This is the meaning of her promise. When she does the same again, her husband will say reproachfully: “You promised me. Why are you so changeable and unnecessary? And again, the woman, seeing the condition of her husband, will promise to behave well.
An anecdote on topic.
A mouse got into a bottle of wine and couldn’t get out. A cat passed by, and she prayed: “Kitty, help me, and I will be yours!” Well, the cat knocked down the bottle with its paw, the mouse scurried out of it and into the hole. Cat: - Come on, get out, keep your promise. You are mine now! - Oh, who believes the promises of a drunken woman?!
Unlike a woman, a man who does not keep his promises does not inspire any trust. If a man constantly keeps his promises, this is a huge contribution to his trust. Psychologist Vadim Tuneev writes: “When I fulfilled some of my obligations, I promised something to a person, then this is a huge contribution to the bank account of trust. And vice versa, when I promised something and did not do it, it is a huge cost, I withdrew a huge amount from there. People often like to promise. They think it’s nice for them and it’s nice for others, and we promised something. We all know that someone promised us something nice, but then didn’t deliver, what happens? We feel completely deceived, and the person forgot, he promised and okay. What's there? I promised. Well, it’s nice to do something to another person. That is very important principle or a law that people often break. It's better to promise less. It is better not to promise and do more than to promise and not do. Because nothing destroys our relationship more than a violation of this principle.”
If promises flow in a continuous stream, it means that no one is going to fulfill them. Populism manifests itself in irresponsible promises. A populist can promise whatever comes to his mind in order to please voters. He carefully considers what is needed most in at the moment ordinary people and, not remembering his conscience, shamelessly promises people manna from heaven, golden rain, milk rivers and jelly banks. He believes that one should not skimp on promises. You can cut yourself off in everything, but take the promises out and put them away. - Every woman has a man. Each man gets a bottle of vodka.
Comedian Arkady Davidovich jokes: “It’s better to overpromise than underpromise. People don't like greedy people."
A populist speaks: - I promise to re-promise the promised promise. Saying A, he knows what will happen for everyone B. Woe for the populist: he promised and fulfilled.
Writer Paulo Coelho calls: “You don’t have to believe promises. And there are so many of them in the world - they promise wealth, salvation of the soul, love until the grave. There are people who consider themselves entitled to promise anything. There are others - they agree to believe in any promises, as long as they guarantee them a different, better fate. Those who promise and do not keep their promises end up powerless and worthless. And the same thing happens to those gullible who cling to what is promised.”
An anecdote on topic.
A film director crowned with laurels proposes to an aspiring film actress. — I invite you to star in my new film. In a year I promise you an Oscar. - Oscar? — the young actress asks doubtfully. “What if it turns out to be a girl?”
Filled with promises, a person often forgets about them the moment his desires come true.
A businessman goes to an important meeting, is late, is nervous, and cannot find a place to park. He raises his face to the sky and says: “Lord, help me find a parking place!” I promise one hundred percent that I will transfer a lot of money to the orphanage, quit drinking and go to church every Sunday! Suddenly, miraculously, a free place appears. He turns to the sky again: “Oh, that’s it, no need.” Found it!
The husband knocks on the door. The wife persuaded her lover to go down the drainpipe, and he falls from the ninth floor. He flies and curses himself... - You fool, he should have sat at home with his wife, and not hung around with whores. And now I’m dying for nothing! Eh, I wish I could stay alive, I promise to live happily and exemplarily. I’ll quit drinking, quit smoking, quit running around with girls... Then he falls into a big snowdrift and remains alive. - God! The moment flew by, and how many stupid promises came to mind!
Petr Kovalev 2016
Words: “I will do”, “of course”, “I will have time”, “I promise”, “I swear by my mother!” - all these are promises given to yourself or others. We all make promises... The question is - when will what was said be fulfilled, maybe “after the rain on Thursday”? Have you ever heard that you only know how to “scratch your tongue” and don’t get things done? Or maybe you’ve noticed that you set a goal (for example, starting tomorrow – I’ll lose weight!) – and that’s where it all ends? If you think about this even a little, then you will be interested in knowing how to stop being an empty talker and start keeping your promises. There's enough in front of you simple instructions, which will help you start keeping your word.
Watch your words
Often people, without thinking, throw words to the wind and promise to help with something. And then it turns out that the person either has no idea how to do it or forgets. Or he doesn’t want to do anything at all, but just promised out of politeness.
You should watch your words and not make promises “on the fly”, because your reputation depends on it, and you can set someone up with an unfulfilled word
Learning to say “No”
There are situations when a person is asked for something, but he cannot refuse (due to his weakness or, as many believe, his upbringing). In fact, the main factor influencing the fulfillment of someone's request is your desire. And when you promise a person something reluctantly, then in 98% of cases this leads to the fact that you do not keep your word, in vain reassuring the person.
In such situations, a polite and firm “No” is necessary:
- Give reasons for your position - why you cannot fulfill the request
- Offer an alternative solution, for example, recommend someone who can solve the problem
The ability to say “No” does not mean that you are an ill-mannered or callous person. In fact, it makes you sincere in the eyes of others and also gives you respect as a responsible person.
Calculate your time and energy
Sometimes a person volunteers to help with something, but he hasn’t even really thought through the problem. But they promise to do everything “with high quality and in as soon as possible" That's right, the sooner the better! Undoubtedly, only with a small amendment: you need to fulfill it, and not just promise it. A person throws around phrases: “I’ll do it in an instant,” “it won’t be difficult for me,” but in reality something else comes out - he understands that he doesn’t meet the deadline and begins to delay, deceive, or, in general, hides. And the one who was promised hopes for help, but in the end he is left with nothing. It's unpleasant, isn't it?
To avoid such situations:
- Evaluate your strengths and capabilities wisely
- Don't give yourself impossible deadlines. If you are asked to do something on time that you cannot meet, come to a compromise, or remember the magic word “No”.
Write down your promises
Many successful people In order to complete all the planned tasks, they write them down in a notebook, in notes on the phone, and set reminders so that situations like “after the rain on Thursday” do not arise.
Conclusion
Every promise you fulfill defines you as a reliable person who can be entrusted with any business. And every unfulfilled task (even a trivial one) provokes a number of unpleasant epithets addressed to you (irresponsible, unreliable, flighty). And remember: a promise is a distant relative of a fig... Therefore, don’t talk about what you will do “after the rain on Thursday.” Keep your word!
Pictures in the article from https://www.instagram.com/inhumour/
The ability to keep your promises is work on yourself. Any job requires effort and commitment. If you want to reboot yourself, then these articles will be useful for you:
Sayings, quotes and aphorisms about promises
“Keeping your word is the most powerful tool for creating an outstanding future. We underestimate its power and make poor use of its potential. What if you made the value of keeping your word the No. 1 priority for your entire company. Just think about what results you could achieve!? What kind of employees would you be surrounded by? How incredibly easy it would be for you to work with such people.” Tracy B.
“Consider whether what you promise is true and possible, for a promise is a duty.” Confucius
“Your life is productive to the extent that you keep your word.” Werner E.
“Every broken promise is a waterless cloud, an unsharpened saber and a barren tree.” As-Samarkandi
“Do not promise if you are not sure that you will fulfill your promise, because the pain that you cause to another will sooner or later come back to you.” Vanga
“Don’t feed words instead of bread.” Aristophanes
“Keeping your word is a principle that must be followed. There is no greater praise for me than to say, “I can always count on Buck Rogers.” The thing is that I always keep my word. My words took on the force of an IOU. And because the people who work with me rely on me, I, in turn, have every right count on them." Rogers B.
“Making an impossible promise is like kindling a flame of hope and meaningfully spitting on it.” Mamchich M.
“You shouldn’t believe promises. And there are so many of them in the world - they promise wealth, salvation of the soul, love until the grave. There are people who consider themselves entitled to promise anything. There are others - they agree to believe in any promises, as long as they guarantee them a different, better fate. Those who promise and do not keep their promises end up powerless and worthless. And the same thing happens to those gullible who cling to what is promised.” Paulo Coelho
“If you didn’t keep your thought, keep your word.” Trotsky S.
“To firmly promise something to yourself is the most difficult challenge. But the most beautiful thing is to accept this challenge.” Lemarchal G.
“It is much better to promise less and deliver more than the other way around.”
“The most important thing I always want to achieve is to keep my word to someone.” Richard Branson
“He who is more careful in his promises is more accurate in their fulfillment.” Russo J.
“Be truthful even towards a child: keep your promise, otherwise you will teach him to lie.” Tolstoy L.
“If a man says that his word is as strong as his pledge, take his pledge.” Dewar T.
“You can promise actions, but not feelings: for the latter are involuntary. Whoever promises someone to always love him, or always hate him, or always remain faithful, promises something that is not in his power.” Nietzsche F.
“Big promises reduce trust.” Horace
“If we do not always have the power to fulfill our promise, then it is always in our will not to give it.” Buast P.
Macaulay T.
“Vows made in a storm are forgotten in calm weather.” Fuller T.
“After traitors, most of all I dislike talkers. They waste their time and, worse, take away mine, causing my constant resentment.” Churchill W.
“A tiny act of kindness is better than the most solemn promises to do the impossible.” Macaulay T.
“He who today promises something that does not yet exist risks tomorrow losing everything that already exists, and even himself.” Shefner V.
“Honesty has such a property that it requires compliance even with promises made to the enemy.” Pontano D.
“There are more words in an empty promise.” Mamchich M.
“False promises are more annoying than outright refusals.» Buast P.
“To fulfill a promise, you need to have not so much good memory, as much as conscience." Ber T.
“One “take” is better than two “I’ll give.” Indian wisdom
“Before making promises, you need to think about your intentions and capabilities.” Neyah
“He who is generous with promises must be stingy with words.” Markov A.
“Whatever comes out of your mouth, observe and do.” Bible, Old Testament, The first book of Moses. Deuteronomy 23:23
FUNNY AND FUN SAYINGS, APHORISMS AND QUOTES ABOUT PROMISES
“People who are generous only with promises are not in danger of ruin.” Melamed Ts.
“If they feed you with promises, it’s usually breakfast.» Sokolov A.
“Politicians are the same everywhere: they promise to build a bridge where there is no river.” Khrushchev N.
« I kept my word only because I didn’t promise anything good.” Mamchich M.
“Just because they promise something, doesn’t mean they promise to fulfill the promise.” Neyah
“Saying yes is easy, much easier than remembering it all the time.” Petrosyan M.
“We promise them, we promise them, we promise them, we promise them, but it’s not enough for them!” Zhvanetsky M.
"I never make promises to myself New Year. The habit of making plans, engaging in self-criticism and reforming life is too much work for one day.” Nin A.
“As soon as you give your word that you won’t do something, you will certainly want to.” Twain M.
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Often we have to make promises. Sometimes we make promises that we later have to pay a price for. What do you think about keeping promises?
I think everyone has their own opinion on this issue. Some believe that we should be “people of our word,” that is, if we say something, we must do it. Another category of people believes that it is possible not to keep promises, because it happens when we make promises thoughtlessly. How should we act in these matters? Let's find out for ourselves once and for all.
I believe that the truth is in the middle. If we make a promise, then we must fulfill it, but if it will be to the detriment of you or someone else, then we don’t have to fulfill it.
What makes me ambivalent about this issue? The fact is that I had to be a participant in a situation where I was caught by surprise and I made a promise to be a participant in one case. This promise was about business. I needed to become a participant in a gray business that could bring me good money. You know, one day an acquaintance of mine asked me to do some not entirely honest work, promising me a salary high level. This was not a crime, but after the promise I made to him, I could not sleep for a long time. The struggle between my greed for money and honesty began within me. After a long fight, I wrote to my friend that I was refusing the deal and that I thought it was unfair. My friend was surprised, because he had never met people who refuse such a sum of money. I decided within myself that I would rather die of hunger than break the law of my conscience.
So, it turns out that in this case I did not keep my promise and may have lost a friend. But, I believe that this action was correct because otherwise I would have had to sacrifice something more - my own conscience. I believe that there is no sin in this if we refuse some promises, deals that could be to our detriment.
Let us now turn to the Bible. What does she say about keeping promises?
There is one example from the Bible, which is found in the Gospel of Mark in chapter 6. This describes the moment of death of John the Baptist, one of the greatest prophets ever born. The Prophet John was in prison for his denunciatory sermons. Perhaps, after a while, he would have been free if the incident that led to his death had not occurred.
The fact is that King Herod had a holiday, which was attended by many noble people. When the music was playing, the daughter of Herodias, Herod’s wife, came out to dance. The guests and King Herod liked her so much that he promised that he was ready to give her everything she asked. And since the girl was smart, she went to ask her mother. The mother’s verdict was as follows: “cut off the head of John the Baptist and bring it to her on a bowl.” It was one of the cruel women of its time. Herod listened to the girl and cut off the prophet's head.
What do you think? Did Herod do the right thing by keeping his promise, since he might not have fulfilled this request. Out of fear of losing the authority of those around him, Herod decided on the most vile thing in his life - the murder of the prophet.
Whenever you need to keep your promises, think carefully before doing so. Our reputation is built not only on whether we keep our word, but also on our honesty with ourselves and on our conscience. Preserving your conscience and good name is more important than keeping just one wrong promise. It’s up to you to decide what to do, but I think you’ll listen to my advice and do the right thing.
